My head was spinning, focused on Hallie at the same time it was trying to give Rip what he wanted.
The game started like any other. We kicked ass, running up and down the field like we owned every single inch. The Middle High Tigers were struggling to keep up with Rips effortless spiral and my determined running game. I caught, and he threw. We were unstoppable.
The stadium’s excitement burned the blood in my veins. I was nothing but energy and rage. I bulldozed those in my way with my eyes on the end zone. Every time I landed in it, the crowd erupted. I just wanted more. Rip and I were in synch like never before. I knew this was his chance and he knew it was his last one.
We played like both our cages were set free.
It was 42-14 at halftime.
I spotted the Globe Tonight news team setting up as the Charming Stars moved back onto the field to do their routine.
Just as they started, I ran from my huddle and scooped up the microphone. I hated everything about this but the prize I’d walk away with. Like always, I kept my eyes on her sitting in the bleachers, face a pale mask of trepidation and wonder. I felt the same. My fight was in her heart, pounding with my war.
Huffing and puffing, sweat dripping down my face, the crowd quieting in curiosity, I opened my mouth. “Sorry to interrupt the lovely cheerleading team. Nice high kick by the way, Emmie.”
The crowd chuckled when she bowed.
“But I’ve got something I want to ask someone.” I dug the ring box from my padding. The thing had been cramming me in the chest all night, but so had my love for her, so I felt it was fitting. “Hallie, will you come down here?”
When she pointed at herself as if to say, “Who? Me?” the stadium laughed, a roar of giggling and chuckles that made me want to punch them all in the face.
When I dropped to one knee in the middle of the field, the stadium was filled with gasps and cheers.
Hallie’s horrified smile was probably the realest sight in the entire world. She stood up but gave me the best performance. Running down the bleachers in her skirt and heels. She stopped in the middle of the field as our fathers watched from the front row seats and Globe Tonight caught witness to me down on one knee.
I tucked the microphone into my mic hand and grabbed her left with my other. “Hallie, you didn’t know how I felt about you until recently. Didn’t know that I’d spent my entire life loving you without ever having the balls to say anything. But that’s the thing about love. It doesn’t really care how long we have to wait if it knows it’ll get what it wants in the end. So, we were patient, we waited, until we couldn’t wait anymore. I know we’re only eighteen, but I can’t wait anymore for you. Will you please take this ring and be my wife?”
There wasn’t a sound in the entire stadium. I knew it was fake, but the way Hallie’s eyes were burning with the depth of her feelings didn’t look fake to me. Her eyes shone with unshed tears and her bottom lip trembled. I knew if we were alone we’d both be naked, and she’d be trembling for different reasons.
She covered her mouth with her hand and looked up at the sky.
That wasn’t part of the plans. But it looked amazing on the monitor, her eyes looking at the sky like it would give her the answer she’d already given me.
Then she looked into my eyes and her lips opened. “I’m sorry, Cage.”
My smile fell apart. The stadium gasped.
My entire existence became obsolete in seconds.
“I can’t marry you.”
The monitor showed my face clear as day. The heartbreak on it was severe. I didn’t even care that my walls were down in front of the entire town of Charmant, the entire world.
“What do you mean, Hals? What do you mean you can’t marry me?”
She cradled my face between her hands and blinked her tears free. “Who’s dramatic now? See what it feels like?” Then she laughed. Hard. Like she hadn’t just blown apart my heart in the worst fucking way.
The stadium laughed awkwardly. Globe Tonight was zeroed in on my confused broken face.
“That’s what you get for your stunt on Sparrow Cliff,” she whispered, too quiet for the cameras to pick up. She grabbed the ring box out of my hands and opened it, slipping on her ring as the crowd cheered deafeningly, laughing and crying like they had their hearts invested. She grabbed the mic from my stunned fingers. “You are the best and worst part of my day, Cage. You are the brightest darkest spots in my universe. There is no in-between, no gaps. There’s nothing but you in my entire world. Good or bad, I want it. If I smile, it’s yours. If I cry, it’s yours. If I want, you give it. If you fear, I want to prove you wrong. I will never want more than what you have to give me. Yes, I’ll marry you!” she shouted over the roar of the crowd.
I was too relieved—I was still pissed—to punish her now. I’d wait until later. I wrapped her in my arms and squeezed her to my sweaty chest. I put my mouth over her ear. “You are going to pay severely for that stunt, my little star.”
She giggled in my ear. “I love you, Cagey.”
I pulled back to give her a rueful smile, putting my forehead to hers. “I love you too, Hals.”
That was the moment I realized I could love her honestly while still giving my legacy what it craved. I could love and fight at the same time.
We didn’t have to lose anymore.
Our fathers came down on the field. We looked every part the happy in love newly engaged heirs standing beside our fathers. They were grinning ear-to-ear, and not once did I see the light in their eyes, but no one got close enough to see the darkness in their souls.
Their masks weren’t for them. They were for us.
We won that night.
Charming Knights: 56 to The Middle High’s: 21. We left a mess of red and white in our path.
I didn’t see Jace Lyle’s coming out of the corner of the field at first. The movement caught my eye.
When I turned, it was too late.
Rip lay under him. Screaming from the depth of his writhing soul. His scream attacked my soul.
I ran over to pry Jace off.
“I’m sorry,” he sobbed. “I had to,” he whispered just before I started wailing on him. My fist slammed into his face over and over again. Because Rip’s leg was under him, and those screams weren’t for his broken bone, but from the loss of his last chance to get out of Charmant.
The loss of his soul.
When the team pulled me off Jace, I lay beside Rip on the field, watching Joseph Ripford make his way off the field where Jace had come from.
“Rip!”
Hallie’s wail of terror said what I couldn’t.
None of us were getting out of Charmant.
Not me. Not Hallie. Not Ryder Storm.
And now, not even Geoff Ripford.
19. WE’RE ALL IN A CAGE
Hallie
LOVE doesn’t conquer ALL. LOVE conquers all within its reach.
Even when your wings were sore from beating at your cage, it gave you a reason to fight. And within that fight there was reason and victories.
There was life.
The trick was not to look beyond your bars. Beyond your reach. We all had desires that may never come to fruition. We’re all in a cage, some are just more gilded, and others are barely holding us together.
But not all cages were bad. Even the universe could only exist so far. Being endless always started somewhere.
I married Cage in Charmant in his backyard that summer before we left for college. We did what was asked of us, but we loved the way our souls demanded we love. Hard, forever—we never lost sight of each other.
When Cage said, “I do,” I couldn’t wait to say it too, dressed head-to-toe in a hand-sewn cream and silk masterpiece from my mother. She sat in the front row weeping her eyes out. Illa and I had gotten impossibly closer, spending every ounce of free time I managed to get with her before Wreck and I left for college. The world didn’t know the truth, so when it came time for photos, I hugged and smiled at my fake
mother the way I always had.
On the outside, our wedding was beautiful. Wreck was dressed in an impeccable black tux. Black everything except his tie, which was soft creamy silk to match my dress and the wedding colors. His tiramisu hair was styled flawlessly, and his smile was large and white. It had been seven months since he proposed. Every time I thought back to that time my eyes drifted to his groomsman.
Storm and Rip were unbearably handsome in their royal blue tuxes and white shirts. But their eyes were empty, of course. Graduation had been a week ago. Rip’s break had healed. But the NFL no longer had sights on him. His father never intended to let his son leave. He’d let him dream only to shatter his. Storm never talked about his plans as a senior at Charming High on his own. He’d always had Wreck and Rip. Now his storm raged alone. He found comfort in his shell. Who was I to crack it open?
“Ready?” Cage asked, flashing me a grin in the front seat of his Mercedes. Our family waved us on, but the only wave I believed was Illa’s.
“You look happy,” I noted, intently studying the high curve of his smile.
Wreck didn’t trust happiness. Maybe he never would. But I would make him feel it nonetheless. Even if I had to hold him down and tear his heart open, I’d cram it full of good things.
“That’s because I am,” he admitted, cringing. He was still fearful, but admitting his emotions was a step in the right direction.
Plus, I knew he was happy. He could hide all he wanted now.
His grin grew dark, sexy. I’d gotten to know his body extremely well these past seven months. To combat the outside, we existed only to each other. We went to school and we went home, trading bedrooms. Testing walls and stamina. For seven months, we’d slept together every single night, our bodies tangling in beautiful intoxicating ways. But I’d denied him contact from the waist down the moment he left me to deal with the wedding details. For almost four months he’d endured my teasing.
“You should check the back seat,” he said, heading for the Charmant International Airport. Raul Spinoza’s gift had been an all-expenses paid first class trip to his private island off the coast of Brazil.
Over the past seven months, the Spinoza’s had moved their way into Charmant flawlessly and terrifyingly easy. It was like they’d lived there their entire lives. Ease that seamless meant a lot of padded pockets and happy occupants. They lived nearby, in the middle of the canyon between my mansion and Wreck’s.
I knew it meant something, I just didn’t know what.
I pulled the package from the back, smiling down at the letter attached to it.
I took him because I needed him. He knew you, and I wanted so badly to know you too.
But I have you now, so take the damn thing back. Do you have any idea how hard it was to hide a stuffed yellow star all these years?
W
Star Star looked exactly like I remembered. Plush, bright yellow, his wide button eyes open and friendly. I hugged him to my chest, letting all my loneliness go through my tears. I’d lived so long feeling empty. I knew in my heart that Wreck would never let me live another second feeling the same way.
Our fathers may have forced us together.
But the joke was on them. We loved life together in a way they never would.
20. TOGETHER
Wreck
HAPPINESS WAS IN HER.
And now it was in me.
Sure, it was hard to run the largest cable news network and the largest bank in the entire United States and love my wife with every ounce of my dark charcoal soul, but I did it.
We combatted the media and the dollar bill the way we combatted everything. Together.
We built a disgustingly large mansion in the bluff beside Sparrow Cliff, overlooking Sparrow Lake. We had kids, who I not only got to know, but turned my charcoal soul into a bright shade of white. We spent every night together we could. I made love to my wife every night like it was our last because we never wanted it to be.
My smiles grew easier to give. The secrets became harder to keep. My fears became difficult not to let go of.
Yes, our fathers pulled our chains every once in a while, but we pulled back. We kept our kids away from them. We loved our son and daughter the way we had not been loved.
Completely and truly. I got my bait. I got my little star.
But most of all, I shed my armor, for there was no more fighting this cage.
EPILOGUE
Wreck
My right leg was numb.
My right arm was, too.
On my left, there was nothing. That emptiness forced my eyes open. I glanced over, blinking the blur of exhaustion from my eyes to find the spot that Hallie had fallen asleep bare. I brought my hand over and settled it on her pillow. It was faintly warm. She hadn’t gotten up that long ago.
Groaning, I ran a hand over my face, and then looked down. Free and North clung to me in identical chokeholds. One on my leg, right above my knee, and the other was wrapped around my arm, above my elbow. Their sides were moving too rapidly to be sleeping. I watched in irritation as Free looked up with his dark blue eyes to check if I was still sleeping.
I rose a brow at him. “What’s going on here?”
He didn’t say anything. The kid never did. He had a mind as large as a black hole. Hallie joked how we named him Free, so he always would be, only for him to be imprisoned by his mind. He had a soul, though, that was so blindingly bright and beautiful I had this theory that he liked to hide it. He was smart, protecting his soul from the world.
Even though he didn’t have to. I’d never let anything happen to it.
“Hmm?” I reached down and settled my hand on his head, delving my fingers beneath his golden-brown hair.
“I missed you,” he mumbled.
My heart squeezed. I cleared my throat and swallowed my emotion down. “I’m sorry, buddy. Daddy’s been working a lot, hasn’t he?”
Truth was, that was my first morning seeing the kids in six days, eight hours, and—I glanced over at the clock on the wall—fifteen minutes. The recent political scandal had rocked the world, and I’d had to throw myself into the media storm since Owen Wreckmond no longer got his hands dirty. On top of that, Goodford Finance was pulling on my pant leg. My kids wanted to see me, and I needed to see them. Hallie tried to be there extra for them when I was swamped, but she had to be the face of Goodford Finance, and when your soul was imprisoned in the dollar bill, you were never as free as we made sure our children were.
Free nodded, showing me his whole soul for a millisecond before he sealed it back up.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. It was hard to explain to my children that I was doing my best. I was stretched raw between Globe Tonight, Goodford Finance, being a father, and being a husband. I had gone from a man who’d had little to offer in the way of emotions, to a man who had no choice but to spill his soul for his children.
I didn’t mind spilling my soul, not when doing so protected theirs.
North’s head popped up. Her wayward bronze hair was in need of a cut, but Hallie refused to entertain the idea of cutting our daughter’s hair. She was three as of last week. I was still finding frosting all over the place. We’d thrown her a party in the backyard, inviting everyone from her daycare. Of course, everyone showed up. Though Hallie and I didn’t feed into the force of power that surrounded us, everyone else still did.
We couldn’t hide from our life. We could only hide our children from it. North thought she was popular, and I didn’t have it in my heart to tell her that that’s how it would always be. Just like her mother, she’d never truly be able to connect with her peers when she would one day know the exact amount in their bank accounts. Some things were impossible to avoid in Charmant.
I never told Hallie how deeply I ached for the ability to give them a different life than the one they had no choice other than to inherit.
For now, North’s innocence shielded her.
She gave me a toothy smile and jumped on my lap. “Hi,
Daddy.”
I smiled before I could stop myself. “Hi, North.”
“You’re awake?”
“Uh-huh.” I pointed at my eyes. “See these?”
She leaned close, studying my eyes. “Yep.”
“They’re open, aren’t they?”
She stuck her finger in my eye and I groaned, covering it with my hand. “Kind of.”
I laughed, shaking my head at her. Where Free was fine in his shell, North was her namesake. The brightest star in the sky. He sat up and played with my hand, a year older than his sister. He compared his little fingers to my large fingers.
“Are you going to eat breakfast with us? Grammy’s making pancakes.”
It was Saturday. I had two meetings at Globe Tonight’s headquarters, and then another with the board at the branch downtown. Not to mention that Father had been up my ass about meeting with him. But looking into my children’s eyes, begging me for something I’d begged my father for eighteen years for, I couldn’t deny them.
“Go tell Illa I want chocolate chips. Hurry,” I hissed, shooing her on.
She giggled, grinning from ear to ear. Then she looked at her older brother. “I told you he’d hang out with us. He’s a good daddy.”
Free smiled wide, like I so did not doubt you, Dad, and gave my hand a kiss, before they both scrambled out of our king-sized bed and scampered out of the room in their pajamas. The moment they were gone, my heart let go of the breath it had been holding and I sagged back down in bed, staring up at the skylight in the roof. Hallie had requested that the roof over our bedroom be turned into nothing but a huge glass skylight. The stars looked phenomenal at night.
Right now, the sun was rising over Charmant, flooding the room with gold. I heard the click of a door and peered over to see Hallie coming out of the bathroom, bronze hair in a messy bun, tendrils falling down around her face, cheeks flushed and lips a tender shade of pink from sleep. She was wearing one of my white Ralph Lauren undershirts from the night before and a pair of black boy shorts that hugged her curvy ass. She called them “kid appropriate underwear.”
Wrecked_A Novel Page 26