“I take it, the baby is yours?”
He nods. “I would never question a woman who says the baby she’s carrying is mine.”
“Oh no, I didn’t mean it like that. I just … I don’t know. I guess it’s just the normal question people ask.” I let out a nervous laugh and run my hand along my head, feeling like an insensitive jerk. “How far along is she?”
“Fifteen weeks.”
“And she’s just telling you now?” My tone is anything but coy or non-accusatory. Fifteen weeks is a hell of a long time to hang on to a bomb of information like that.
He nods with a grimace. If he’s upset at her for keeping the news from him for this long, he’s not letting on. “She wasn’t sure if she wanted to keep it.”
“I hope, at this point, she’s keeping it.”
He nods again, and my stomach drops.
I finally meet the man of my dreams, and he’s having a baby with another woman.
There’s a rapid uptick in my heart, and my hands get clammy. I’m nervous, and I’m not sure why. I think it’s because I’m unsure of my own feelings in this very moment, and I don’t know how to process them.
A baby.
With his ex-girlfriend.
Sebastian is going to be a father.
I twist my lips to the side, biting on the inside as I will myself not to show how upset, albeit confused, I feel.
He backs up to the wall and lets his weight crash against it. His head rolls back as he looks up at the ceiling.
“She’s scared,” he says. “Anxious. She didn’t know if she wanted to be a mom on her own. She’s a career woman. Bright, intelligent, and climbing the corporate ladder. She’s also the type who has a plan. Marriage was part of it. She called this afternoon and asked me to come by. She wanted to know what I thought she should do.” He lowers his head and grins. “I told her I want the baby. I can’t let her terminate my child or raise it without my full support. I promised that I would be there for her every step of the way. Monetarily, physically, emotionally. I’m all in.”
All in.
I swallow hard, trying not to let the tears that are building behind my eyes fall. “Does this mean …” I start to ask but am unsure exactly what I’m asking.
He steps closer to me and holds out his hands, and then he drops them in surrender. “It means, I spent the entire day walking around Philadelphia, feeling a mixture of anger, excitement, confusion, and elation. And I came to the realization that I’m happy. It might not be what I expected, but life doesn’t go as planned.”
“That’s good.” I give him a shaky smile. I feel like a fool for wanting to ask, but I do it anyway. “Do you want to be with her?”
He sighs. “No, I don’t, and I feel like an asshole, saying that.”
“You’re not an asshole for being honest. Is she the girl you told me about at the bar? Who you dated for six months but she wanted to see other people?”
“She is. We went our separate ways. It wasn’t like some big blowup or anything. There just wasn’t that spark.”
I look into his eyes, and I see that spark he’s talking about. That’s what we have. It’s bright and powerful. Magnetic even. But sparks fade if there’s nothing there to burn.
“So, what are you going to do?” I ask.
“I’m gonna be there for Lauren,” he says without skipping a beat.
I have to respect him for that. No matter how much I wish this weren’t the case, it is.
“She’s having my baby, and I’m going to be there for my child.”
Lauren. The ex has a name. It’s a pretty name. A pretty name for a girl who is having who I hoped was my boyfriend’s baby.
A baby.
Wow, I can say the word in my head over and over, and it just feels surreal. If Lauren waited this long to tell him, she must have been distraught over the decision. I’m sure it didn’t come lightly and that she had many sleepless nights filled with anxiety. I don’t envy her for the decision she had to make, but I respect her for the willingness to be a single mother. She’s going to need all the support she can get. And the best support would be from the father of her child.
“What does this mean for us?” I ask, not sure if I want to hear the answer.
He sighs. “That’s up to you. Amy, I want you to know a huge part of my day included thinking about you. What we have and where it’s going. I’m trying to figure out how to make sense of it all. How I can explore this thing between us and be a father.” He pauses and blinks a few times as he straightens his back and smiles a full-dimpled grin. “Holy shit, I’m going to be a father.”
This tiny burst of energy comes out of him with that revelation. It’s sweet even though it makes my heart sink a little.
That smile softens as he looks at me in earnest. “I don’t want to lose you. I really want to see where this goes, but I understand that this is a lot of baggage. When we met, I didn’t realize I’d be a package deal.”
I almost want to laugh. His honesty is so forthcoming. My dear, wonderful, loyal Sebastian is laying his cards out on the table. He’s going to be a father with another woman, and if I want to keep this relationship going with him, then I have to accept it.
I haven’t even slept with the man. I don’t know his favorite color or how he likes his eggs in the morning, but I have to make a decision right now if I want to be part of his new little family.
It’s endearing and crazy, all at the same time. He’s doing the right thing, and damn if that isn’t sexy. But there’s a woman who needs him right now. A woman who is carrying his child. If I didn’t text him that day, he’d probably still be with her tonight, consoling her, helping her … maybe even seeing if he could love her at some point.
I search around the room, wondering how my night went from so high to so low in a matter of seconds.
“This is a lot to take in,” I finally say. My mouth feels like cotton.
“I completely understand.” He holds up his hands, like he’s not trying to push.
I walk back to the kitchen and glance at the soup that I was so looking forward to, but I’ve totally lost my appetite now.
“Maybe I should go,” I say as I grab my bag that I brought everything in.
“You don’t have to.”
He reaches for me, but I step back. Not because I don’t want Sebastian to touch me—I do—but if I let him, I’ll just lose myself in him, his scent, his kisses.
“No. I should.” My words are abrupt.
His eyes widen in surprise by my dismissal. My intention was not to come off that way.
I lower my shoulders and take a deep breath, staring up into his soulful eyes. “Sebastian, I’m happy for you. You’re going to be a father, and that is probably the coolest thing in the world. This is just a shock to me, and that’s a problem because this isn’t my story. It’s yours and Lauren’s, and you don’t need me to crowd up the emotional pool I’m sure you’re swimming in right now.”
I lick my lips and continue, “And the truth is, I’m crazy about you. Like, wildly insane about you. Earlier, you said you’ve never felt this connection. Neither have I, and it’s amazing, but, you see, I just had a broken heart, and I’m still mending myself over that.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.” He takes a timid step toward me.
“I know you don’t. And I don’t believe you would—intentionally. This news of yours is big and exciting, and you need to focus on that. I want you to take the time to figure out what you want without thinking about me. If there is any chance you and Lauren want to be a family, I don’t want to get in the way of that.”
“I don’t want to be with her. Our relationship is over.”
“You say that now, but just give it a minute and make sure that being with her isn’t what you want in the end. It’s better to put the brakes on this thing between us while it’s still fresh instead of possibly ending it later with someone getting hurt.”
His brow furrows, and there’s hesitation in his bre
ath. I watch as his hands slide in his pockets.
His head bows down, and he nods with a heavy exhale. “If that’s what you think is best.”
I purse my lips and nod. “Okay, well … thank you again for helping me with my old landlord. I really appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome.” His tone is laced with formality. “Here, I’ll walk you out.”
“No. Um, don’t worry about it. I’ll let myself out if that’s okay with you.”
He steps back. His smile is turned down, and for a moment, I want to run over to him, but I don’t.
I meant what I said. A heart will surely be broken, and I’m afraid it will be mine.
“Congratulations,” I say when I get to the door. “The baby is lucky to have such a wonderful man as his or her father.”
He smiles lightly.
I’m gonna miss that dimple. God, I’m gonna miss this man.
“Thanks.”
I close the door behind me and rush down the stairs. If I thought breaking things off with Sebastian was going to save me from getting hurt, I was mistaken. It’s only been a moment, and my entire soul feels like it’s been shattered.
Chapter Nine
One of the positive aspects—or drawbacks, depending on how you look at it—of being a chocolatier is, there are definitely busier times than others. With Easter approaching, our orders were through the roof. Shawn and I were working harder than we had over the past few weeks. Now that the day is here, I kind of wish I had more orders to fill to get me out of going to spend Easter with my family.
Or at least, a good excuse to be late.
Don’t get me wrong; I absolutely love my family, but being the only one without a significant other leaves a certain spotlight shone on a stage I didn’t plan on performing on. If it’s not my career they’re harping on, my love life never fails to come up in conversation, and I get to hear everyone’s opinion whether or not I want it.
I pull up to my parents’ house, grab the chocolates I brought as gifts for everyone, and head up to the door.
“Auntie!” my gorgeous niece Kelsey says as she runs up to me, her pigtails swaying as she wraps her arms around my legs.
I place my bag of chocolates and my purse on the floor to pick her up. “Look at how big you’ve gotten!” I hug her tightly and then lean back to see her more clearly. Big blue eyes like mine, platinum-blonde hair like Heather’s, and a silly grin that matches most of the Morgana clan.
“I’ve grown! Mommy measured me, and I was a whole inch bigger than last time.”
“A whole inch?!” I say dramatically.
“Yep. She even had to get me new pants because mine were all too short.”
My sister Heather appears in the hallway, looking beautiful with her growing baby bump. “Yeah, she still had pants with tags on them. Thank goodness I kept the receipt, so I was able to take them back to get the bigger size,” she says, lifting my tote from the floor, rifling through the boxes. “Which one is mine?”
Grabbing the bag by the handle, I pull it toward me. “Straight to the good stuff, huh?” I tease as I put Kelsey down. I find her box of four perfect truffles and hand it to her.
“Yes! This is the ultimate benefit of having a sister who makes chocolate. Especially when pregnancy cravings are through the roof.” She rubs her belly.
Instantly, I think of Sebastian.
It’s been weeks since I walked out of his place. That was the hardest thing I’d ever done, and a day hasn’t gone by that I don’t wonder what would have happened if I’d stayed. I keep telling myself that I did the right thing. He needs to make a decision about his new family without thinking about me.
I place my hand on my sister’s belly, hoping to feel my nephew kick. “Is he active today?”
“When is he not active? This kid is going to be up all night the first few months, I can tell. I’m lucky my maternity leave will roll right into summer break because there’s no way I’d be able to stay up all night and then get to the school by six in the morning.”
I kneel down, eye-level with her belly, and talk to the baby, “Are you already giving your mommy a hard time?”
He kicks me, and a huge smile spreads across my face.
“He’s a kicker!”
“Told you. And I still have another month to go.”
I grab my purse from the floor and rise. “Maybe Dad will finally get that soccer player he’s been dreaming of. The other four grandsons don’t look so promising.”
She giggles as she pops a truffle in her mouth. “You said it, not me.”
I hand Kelsey a chocolate bar I designed with her name on it. She squeals as she runs off, and Heather wobbles into the kitchen with me right behind her.
“Look who finally made it!” my other sister, Fiona, says. “How is it the only one who has no one else to get ready is the one who arrives last?”
“I’ve been busy. People were still calling for last-minute orders this morning,” I defend myself as I shrug off my coat and place it on the back of a chair at the kitchen table.
“Leave my baby alone. She’s working hard during this holiday,” my mom says as she pulls me toward her for a hug.
I might hate being the youngest on most days, but being Mom’s “baby” still has its perks in the form of love and affection.
“Thanks, Mama. At least someone around here stands up for me.” I stick my tongue out at Fiona and then place my bag on the table, looking for the biggest box of them all. It’s a mix of ganache and pralines—Mom’s favorite. “Hide these before Heather sees them. I think she’s already inhaled her truffles.”
Mom laughs with a wave in the air. “I’ll put a few on the side for her. She’s probably the only one who deserves to eat them with that basketball she’s carrying around.”
I toss Fiona her box, but she doesn’t act as excited as Heather did. “I got you a house plant,” she states with a hand on her hip. “I’d have gotten you an Easter lily, like everyone else, but you don’t have a yard, like the rest of us.”
I take a deep breath while smiling. “Where’s the rest of the family? It’s so quiet.”
“Henry and Dad set up an Easter egg hunt for the kids. I swear they forgot just how young everyone is because they hid those things like they were hiding them from adults. The kids are still searching,” Fiona says.
“Or”—Mom points her knife at Fiona—“they’re super smart, and they knew it would keep the kids occupied while I finished up the food.”
I nod, raising my eyebrows. “She’s got a point.”
Matthew walks in through the back door and barrels into the kitchen, already talking. “They’ve only found half the eggs. It’s a good thing Dad counted how many they hid.”
Mom puts down her knife that she was cutting some onions with. “They’d better not leave any in my yard. Those hard plastic shells will ruin my lawn mower. You know Daddy doesn’t pay attention when he’s doing yard work.”
“Don’t worry. Henry has a diagram with every place he hid an egg. The guy is anal retentive, even when it comes to a damn egg hunt,” he says, and we all laugh. Matthew walks over and gives me a hug. “Hey, little sis. How’s life?”
“Busy. Hopefully, the pace keeps up past the holiday. I’m trying to drum up Mother’s Day orders already.”
“Don’t overwhelm yourself just because you’re trying to get over that jerk off, Hardin,” Fiona drones.
“That guy was such a tool. Weak-ass arms too,” Matthew adds.
“He had a cute face, but the whole emo thing was lame,” Fiona says.
Mom interjects while stirring the caramelized onions, “Amy went on a great date with a lawyer.”
I don’t miss the way her tone inflects to a higher pitch at the end or how Matthew and Fiona stop and gape at me in surprise.
I pick up a grape from the plate sitting out with cheese and crackers and chew. When I don’t answer, my mom looks back to me, like she, too, is waiting for a reply. Mom sighs like she’s sad fo
r me while Matthew and Fiona practically roll their eyes.
“He was great. It was going really well with the few dates we had. Until his ex-girlfriend called and told him she was pregnant,” I say matter-of-factly.
“That is so your luck,” Fiona says as she slaps her hand on the counter in amusement.
“Yep.” I pop another grape, not amused.
“Did he go back to her?” Mom asks.
“I don’t know. He said he wanted to be a dad and would support her—”
“As he should,” Matthew chimes in.
I nod in agreement. “They broke up a few months before because they didn’t really have that spark, and it was a mutual breakup, so I’m not sure what they’ll do.”
“You haven’t spoken to him since, right?” Matthew asks.
“I told him I wanted him to make up his mind about trying to be a family without having to worry about me.”
“Figures.” Matthew leans against the counter and crosses his arms. I look at him in challenge. He accepts and finishes his thought. “You always pick losers.”
“Do not!”
Fiona shrugs. “And you always want to run back to them, even when they screw up.”
“He didn’t really screw up. He got her pregnant before we met and is doing the right thing by her.”
“Ditch the dude, Amy.” Matthew kicks off the counter and holds his hands out in explanation. “Unless you want to be the next chick pregnant with some guy as your baby daddy. That’s how these guys operate. They just spread their seed all over Philly.”
I raise a hand for him to stop. “First, that’s disgusting, and second, he isn’t like that at all. He’s a decent man with a good heart.”
“Just calling it like I see it. You deserve better than these douchebags,” he states.
I drop my shoulders and then take his box of truffles from my bag and throw it at him, which he catches with one hand.
“Those are for you and your wife to share. Although I should just give them to her since she doesn’t give me a hard time about my love life.”
He walks over and kisses me on my cheek. “This is what big brothers are for. How are you not used to it by now?”
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