“It was,” Charity agrees and takes a huge chug of her drink. But as she always does, she finds a way to level the situation. “We usually draw straws when we see the epic douchey professional guys come in with their clients. You never know if you’re gonna get sexually harassed or tipped an extra hundred because they think they’re going home with you at the end of the night—which, by the way, I never, ever do.”
Jeremy gives her a cheers. “To epic douche bags who should keep their mouths shut.”
“Cheers to you!” she chimes, and they end up launching into a conversation about the band that’s up on the stage.
Sebastian snakes an arm around my waist and pulls me into him. His chin rests on my shoulder as he drawls into my ear, “That could have been a disaster.”
“Looks like it won’t be a match made in heaven.”
“You never know. The night’s still young.”
“I don’t know. It seems to be getting older by the minute.”
My comment gets me a tickle on my side, and then he takes my hand and leads me away to a row of carnival games. He takes a selfie of us with the stage in the background and the massive crowd gathered behind us. There’s a football toss game, sponsored by the local sports radio station. Sebastian hands me the ball, and I give it a toss, missing the bull’s-eye, pathetically. It’s a one toss per person game, but instead of taking his turn, he offers it up to me. This time, he gives me pointers on what to do.
“It’s all about the fingers. Middle on the top laces, ring finger on the second and third. Pinkie on the back.” Sebastian adjusts my hand and then wraps my thumb around the ball, whispering in my ear, “Raise it ear-level. Laces away. And throw.”
I do. I miss again but not as bad as the first time. As a reward, he wraps his arm around my shoulders and kisses my temple.
There are a few rides at the back of the festival. Since it’s his day, I let him pick the ride.
“That one.” He points to a chair swing ride.
Where most seem to be a couple dozen feet off the ground, this is about a hundred and fifty feet high, and it bobs up and down as you ride. My stomach drops just as I look at it.
We stand in line and talk about the music that’s playing, the great weather, and how crowded the place is getting as the day goes on. Before I know it, it’s our turn, and Sebastian and I are taking side-by-side seats.
I double-check the lock on my seat belt, making sure I’m firmly secure … and then I check again. Sebastian doesn’t seem to be concerned at all. He has a cool confidence about him. A man who’s untouchable.
We start to move, and the wind on my skin feels refreshing. The ride lifts, and I grip the chain of the handles. As we rise, the people below get smaller, and my heart feels like it’s pounding hard in my chest. The clamminess from my hands makes them slide down the chains, which dig into my skin as I try to grip them. There’s a tension in my back that’s sharp from how tightly I’m holding my shoulders.
The swing is traveling fast, zipping around in circles and rising higher. And then it drops. That pounding heart is now making room for my stomach that has just launched itself up, threatening to make me sick.
A panic rushes over me, and I close my eyes, waiting for the ride to be over quickly. I try to calm myself by thinking of anything else. A pedicure, the stream of gooey chocolate as it’s getting ladled out of a metal bowl, and even sex. Nothing works.
“Open your eyes,” I hear Sebastian call over.
With a deep breath, I do, promising myself it’s only for a moment.
“Look at me, Amy.”
I roll my head to the side and see him. He’s huge in the seat. A man of his stature is practically ridiculous, squeezing into this thing, yet he’s smiling. I watch as his hands, which are resting on his thighs, rise up. He nods to me to do the same.
I shake my head.
Let go, he mouths.
I grip the chains harder as I look down, hoping for the ride to be over soon, thinking if it is, I suppose I could take a chance. Glancing over at Sebastian again, I use him as my strength, my confidence to do as he asked.
Slowly, I release my hands from the chains and bend my arms at my sides, barely lifting them up. With a deep—very deep—and shaky breath, I lift them higher. I pull them back for a beat before fully committing and launching them above my head.
Eyes open, shoulders high, and mouth parted, I inhale the eastern summer air and stare out at the world around me.
To my surprise, I feel okay. No, I feel better than okay.
I spit-laugh as I let out a smile, looking out at the city that is passing by in a blue blur. I can see the bridge and the riverbanks that line the city, past the highways and roads, and into the green hills in the distance.
I lose control and give it up, relinquishing myself to whatever might be. The rise and fall of the ride now do nothing for my nervous heart. Instead, I search forward to the next movements because I know I can handle it.
It’s freeing. It’s addictive. It’s magnificent.
The ride starts to lower, and we swing our way down to the ground. My legs are a little wobbly as we exit, but I do so with a laugh and a smile. As I trip slightly on the ramp, Sebastian takes my hand and weaves me back to the massive crowd that’s gathered by the main stage.
I text Charity to let her know where we are. She says she’s good with Jeremy and chooses a meetup spot in case we don’t find each other by the end of the night.
The sun is starting to set, and off in the distance, there’s a vendor selling glow necklaces. Sebastian jogs over to purchase two, one for my neck and another as a crown, which he places on my head.
I run a finger over his cheekbone and down his freshly shaven jaw, rubbing my thumb over his lips. He kisses it and then my wrist, holding my hand as the music for the next band starts to play on the main stage.
The band is playing a Coldplay cover, and Sebastian’s head swivels at the opening chords of the song. With a wide, beaming smile, he listens to one of his favorites, “A Sky Full of Stars.”
“You’re such a heavenly view,” he sings along as he watches the lead singer.
Meanwhile, my full attention is on him.
The sunset is casting a pink and gold haze in the sky that makes him seem ethereal. From the curve of his brow to the straight line of his nose, each facet of his face is illuminated.
He’s a beautiful man—that’s for sure.
Yet it’s not just his impossibly handsome face, that swagger, or the expensive things he treats me to, nor is it his career, high-priced clothes, or his townhome in the city.
No, what makes Sebastian the most beautiful man is his mind. It’s brilliant and thoughtful, steadfast and dedicated to everything he does.
It’s the Leo in him.
He’s carefree and king of the party, yet he’s focused and successful, always sticking to his goals. Loyal to his family, friends, his love. He’s the fire that life needs.
He’s what I need.
I’ve been successful. I’ve hung on to my ideals, and I do everything on my own. Yet this feeling of Zen, of flying high in the sky with my hands up in the air and letting go of some of that control because I know I can handle whatever life throws at me, is completely freeing. No, I’m not talking about the carnival ride. It’s life. Life is about taking leaps, yet knowing when your feet hit the ground, you’ll have the wherewithal to handle wherever you land.
Sebastian taught me that.
I told him I loved him, and it was sweet, but—fuck—I didn’t mean it like I do now.
In my entire life, I’ve never truly meant it when I said it to a man. People say it all the time because it feels like the right thing. It’s a passionate response. It’s powerful.
I know that because right here, right now, as I look at him in the middle of this dusty festival—smiling brightly, singing his songs, and holding my hand—I can say with one hundred percent certainty that I am in love with Sebastian Blake.
Wit
h a tug, I pull him close with my arms around his neck, soaking in his words as he sings and drowning them in a kiss. He wastes no time in seizing the moment, wrapping his strong arms around my waist and lifting me off the ground.
I kiss him with passion.
I kiss him with fire.
I kiss him with my entire being.
“I love you, Sebastian,” I say with my eyes wide open.
He opens his and stares at me for a beat. His head tilts slightly as his eyes narrow a touch, looking at me, staring at me, searching me.
As if the answer to his unanswered question has been found, he lets out a breath, and his eyes crinkle. His lips brush mine again.
“Of all the things you could have given me for my birthday, that is the best one yet,” he says with a big smile.
Now, it’s my turn to tilt my head. “What’s that?”
He grins. “More of you.”
Chapter Twenty-One
I hear my phone ring, and when I see Sebastian’s sexy face filling up my screen, I swipe on the call with a huge grin on my face. “Hey, handsome.”
“Her water broke,” he says frantically as I hear him rustling around.
“What? Isn’t it too early?”
“Yes.” He pauses, and I hear more movement. He’s most definitely talking into his AirPods and using his arms to search for something. “Shit, where are my keys?” he says more to himself than anyone around him.
“They’re in your coat pocket,” I hear Miles say in the background.
“You’re a lifesaver. Thank you,” Sebastian responds. “Cancel everything,” he yells, and I can only assume it’s because he’s out the door and Miles is still standing in his office.
“Sebastian, what’s going on?” I ask after I hear him breathe a few breaths into the phone.
“Oh God. Sorry,” he responds like he forgot I was on the line.
Hearing him so frazzled has me standing from my desk, where I was doing paperwork, and wondering if I should meet him.
“Lauren’s water broke. She’s at the hospital—has been for a few hours. Why she didn’t call me earlier, I have no clue. Now, I’m racing around like a maniac, trying to get there in time.”
“Just breathe. You have plenty of time. Labor can take hours. My sisters were in the hospital for days it seemed like.”
“She’s already eight centimeters.”
“Or not …” I say in shock.
“She’s only thirty-five weeks. This is too early. What if something happens to my son?” The panic dripping from his voice makes me grab my chest in pain.
“Don’t think like that. If she’s been in the hospital for a while, then everything is going smoothly. If there were problems occurring, she’d be in the operating room, getting a C-section, so don’t worry about anything. Hundreds of women give birth every day. Things are going to be just fine.”
I hear his engine start, and by the noise coming through the line, it sounds like he threw his AirPods down on the seat next to him, so I wait for the line to connect to his car.
After a few beats, I say, “Just be calm, okay? Don’t get in an accident, trying to get there too fast.”
He doesn’t respond.
“Sebastian?”
“I’m here. Sorry. My mind is going in a million different directions.”
“No reason to be sorry. Call me when you figure out what’s going on.”
“I will.”
There’s another pause as we both sit in silence—me thinking how our entire world is about to change and him, I’m sure, driving like a wild man through the streets of Philadelphia.
I consider just hanging up, but before I do, I say, “Hey, Sebastian?”
“Yeah?” His voice is even more distraught than before.
“You’re about to be a dad. Don’t forget that. Don’t let your worry ruin it. Take a deep breath and enjoy it. I love you.”
He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, but when he does, I hear the cracking in his voice. “Love you too. I’ll call you soon.”
He ends the call, and I plop down in my chair with so many thoughts and emotions running through me. I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, jump for joy, or scream at the top of my lungs.
I know the waiting is going to kill me. I’ve tried to prepare myself for this moment, but now that it’s here, my chest is tight, and my palms are clammy.
Sebastian’s about to be a dad, and I’m sitting here, in a dump of an office, with a ton of work to do but not wanting to move a muscle, for fear that if I do, my fantasy, the life I’ve been living, will be over.
We discussed me going to the hospital, but I didn’t think it was right. When I shared my concerns, Sebastian agreed all too easily, which showed me he had my same thoughts. At the time, it stung a little, but I needed to remember that this was not about me. This was about his son being born, and whether he and I work out in the end, the memory of his birth needed to be about just him and the baby’s mother.
So, now, I wait, dying to know what’s going on but having no way of finding out until he calls me.
One thing’s for sure: Sebastian had plenty of time to get to the hospital. It’s been two hours and nothing. When Shawn arrived at work, he basically kicked me out of my own kitchen because I was a nervous wreck and he was afraid I was going to screw up the recipes and ruin entire batches.
He was probably right.
I went next door to the gym and got on the treadmill, hoping to run out my anxiety. I learned that it doesn’t matter how much adrenaline you have running through you, if you don’t normally exercise, that shit catches up to you real quick.
Not being able to breathe and having these crazy emotions running through me was not a good combination. I was afraid to shower because there wasn’t a safe place to keep my phone in the gym’s shower without risking it getting soaked, so now, I’m sitting here, a stinky, sweaty mess, scrolling through my emails that I have no intentions of actually answering, for fear I’ll screw something up there too.
I let out a huff, and when my phone rings, I swear I jump out of my chair, making my heart pound out of control as I swipe through Sebastian’s handsome face.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, sounding more like him two hours ago than I should.
“It’s more than okay. Amy, I have a son. A beautiful, perfect little boy who weighs five pounds, seven ounces.”
A weight that was crushing my chest is lifted, and I let out a gasp of relief. I cover my mouth as tears fall freely.
“You have to see him. He’s …” His voice cracks. “He’s so tiny, but the doctors say he’s healthy and that there shouldn’t be any repercussions from him coming early.”
“Oh, Sebastian. That’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you.”
I really am. I had no idea how this moment would feel, but right now, that’s all that’s flowing through me—absolute joy for the man I love, who’s thrilled out of his mind that his baby boy was just born.
“I’m going to text you some pictures. Then, I’m going to hang out for a while, but I’ll see you later tonight. At my place? Don’t wait on me for dinner. Go ahead and grab what you want. I’m sure I’ll eat here.”
“Yeah. Of course. You hang out there, and don’t worry about me. I’ll be there when you get home.”
My phone vibrates in my hand, and I pull it down to see a text message from Sebastian. When I swipe it open, my eyes take in the handsomest man I’ve ever met with the biggest, cheesiest grin covering his face as he holds a baby boy in his hands.
“Sebastian,” I say in disbelief as I bring the phone back to my ear. “Oh my God,” is all I can get out as more tears flow down my face.
Two more pictures come through. One of just Oliver—the name they chose, after Sebastian’s father—and one of a tiny black-inked footprint on the inside of Sebastian’s forearm. Both photos fill me with joy for the man I love.
Sebastian’s a father …
His life from here on out will forever be
changed.
Around eleven at night, I hear the lock turn and the door open. Instantly, I sit up from where I was lying on the couch and tuck my legs underneath me as Sebastian heads my direction.
“Hey, sweetie. Were you asleep?” He gives me a soft kiss before he plops down beside me, grabbing my feet and pulling them to cover his lap.
I lift the remote and put the TV on mute. “No, I was waiting for you. Tell me all about baby Oli.”
His head drops back against the couch as a huge grin covers his face. When he lifts his head and faces me, I see the tears filling his eyes that he blinks away.
“He’s amazing. Everything about him. His little toes are the tiniest things I’ve ever seen. I just wanted to hold them in my hands while he slept. Lauren held him for a while to breast-feed. He had trouble since he’s so small, so we got a lactation specialist. Then, he had his hearing test and some other tests. When I finally got him, I just didn’t want to let go. That’s why I stayed so late. I didn’t want to leave him.”
“I’m sure you could have stayed. Don’t most dads stay?”
He sighs. “Yeah, but Lauren’s mom was there, and I could tell it was time for me to go.”
I nod slightly, feeling the awkwardness of that situation radiate off of him. “So, you’ll go back tomorrow? How long will they stay in the hospital?”
“If everything checks out, they’ll go home the day after tomorrow.”
I watch as he pauses and starts to chew on the inside of his lip. Something I’ve never seen him do.
I lower my head to catch his attention. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah.” He rubs my leg absentmindedly. “It’s just crazy, you know? I’m a dad, but it feels so weird, being here. And when he goes home, it will be there.” He sighs. “I guess I didn’t really take in how weird that would be.”
I sit up, so I’m closer to him. “It seems like you and Lauren got it all figured out though. She said you can come there, right?”
He glances over to me, and I see the hurt in his eyes that he tries to hide. “Yeah. She did. I’m sure it will be fine.” He leans over to grab his phone from his back pocket. “Check it out. I took a ton of pictures.”
Loyal Lawyer: A Standalone Novel Page 19