“Good point! Okay, so you didn’t lose a boyfriend. Let me do something here. Let me concentrate and see what comes to me. I love solving a good mystery.”
I continued letting her hold my hand and “read me.” I didn’t see where I really had a choice in the matter. Obviously someone was with me and suddenly I was desperate to know who and why. She would have my full cooperation. “Okay, what do I do?”
“Just stay still and breathe slowly. Try to relax. I’ll do the rest. I will tell you what I feel and you simply tell me if I’m right or not.”
Kara then seemed to relax herself. She took both of my hands in hers and closed her eyes. Looking around self-consciously, I was relieved no one was nearby to witness this.
“First of all, you are an old soul Sophie.” I rolled my eyes. It figured a psychic would confirm something my parents had been telling me my whole life. “You are very smart and creative. You have no brothers or sisters and you are close to two sets of adults. Are your parents remarried?” She opened her eyes and looked at me quizzically, waiting. Realizing she wanted me to answer I shook my head no. I didn’t want to give her help. I wanted to see if she was for real.
“Well, then if it isn’t that or… Oh! I see it now. Grandparents, but not your average kind, they are like a second set of parents to you. You stay with them often?” I was impressed so this time I answered her question with a nod.
“Your parents and grandparents are your closest connections. You have friends, but only one who is especially close, more like a sister than a friend. She’s not near right now, she’s in… let’s see... Arizona!”
“Wow! You are good. She’s at college in Arizona.”
“Don’t tell her but she will be back in California next semester. She’s going to hate the desert!”
This detail seemed especially possible. I had tried to talk Rylee into going to San Diego with me but she had been set on the school in Arizona since freshman year when someone told her it was a party school with the hottest guys.
“Sophie, have you been drawing in sketchpads? For like, years?”
Again I nodded, no longer surprised. “You draw lots of landscapes and fanciful scenes of castles and gardens, but mostly you draw a boy? His detail is amazing. He’s tall with wavy, blonde hair, dark blue eyes and dimples. He’s really handsome. You draw him all the time, not just in sketchpads but on your school notebooks and any scrap paper. You call him Charming?”
“Yes, Charming is just my version of what the perfect guy looks like. Why? Do you see me meeting someone who looks like him someday?” I asked, hopeful.
“No.”
Her response hit me surprisingly hard. I felt disappointment well up. I had gotten my hopes up for a minute.
“Sophie, don’t freak on me here, but your spirit…” Kara started, suddenly trailing off in thought.
“Yeah, what about him? Is he gone?” I asked, hoping she would tell me this encounter had spooked him away.
Suddenly the look on Kara’s face became more solemn. “Sophie, the spirit is Charming.” As soon as she said this her eyes searched mine for a reaction.
“What?” I whispered, feeling goose bumps break out all over my body.
“Sophie, listen to me, your spirit, the one by your side, looks exactly like the sketches you draw of Charming. You have been drawing him all along. Are you sure you don’t know him? Think hard.”
“I told you I don’t know him! I never knew anyone who died and he’s dead right?”
Kara nodded this time and I continued.
“I started drawing Charming when I was really little and I simply never stopped. I thought I created him. I never ever felt like I knew him. He isn’t real Kara, he’s from my imagination.”
“No, he’s not. He is here with you and I assure you I am not imagining him. Neither are all those dogs your entire life. Think about it Sophie. Maybe now that you have this knowledge it will begin to become clear. That happens sometimes.”
“I’m scared.” I said the words softly, and no truer words had ever come from my mouth. I was terrified.
“Sophie, you mustn’t be afraid. He’s not going to hurt you. You should see his face, he was horrified when you said that. Whoever your Charming is, whatever reason he is here, he definitely loves you. I can feel it.”
“Loves me? I can’t feel him, I don’t know him. If someone was with me my entire life why wouldn’t I feel it?”
“Maybe he’s not ready for you to know. Maybe it’s enough for him to just be with you. Honey, all I do know is you are not alone and you are loved, and love is never a bad thing.”
“Kara, what do I do now? Now that I know he’s there how am I going to be able to see him?”
“He can hear you sweetie. And the only way I know to hear him would be to see someone who can help the two of you communicate. I wish I were able to, but it is beyond my ability. Let me give you my card. Feel free to call me anytime, on the house. Oh, and there’s one more thing. Your grandma is going to be just fine. You can tell her I said the doctor is wrong.”
“What? Gran’s not sick!”
“Exactly. She will be fine, like I said. You can tell her, it will ease her anxiety. I better run. It was a pleasure meeting you Sophie. I look forward to talking to you again soon.”
Kara left and suddenly I was alone on the bench, silently watching the fountain and trying to feel the presence of Charming next to me. Nothing had changed, I still felt alone. I believed Kara. I believed he wouldn’t hurt me, and I even believed he cared for me. I just didn’t know why.
Chapter 3
I had a few uncomfortable moments later that night. Who am I kidding, I had a horrifying anxiety attack. I had stopped in at the pizza party after my encounter with Kara. I felt an urge to be with other people, to not be alone with my new side kick. I was able to put on my game face as my dad would call it and introduced myself to several kids, most of whom I could see myself being friends with. One girl in particular named Danica actually made me laugh and forget my troubles for awhile. It turned out she was from LA also and we had a lot in common. It probably helped that we were both home sick at the moment and it felt good to talk about it. She introduced me to her roommate Tiffany and I made plans to meet them the next day at the dining commons for lunch. Going back to my room I called mom and dad and was met with the news that Gran was told she may have cancer. Mom hated to tell me on my first night away from home but knew she could not keep me in the dark about something so important. I suddenly realized that if there were even the slightest doubt that Kara was a psychic I had just been given proof that she was the real deal.
“Mom, she’s going to be fine. I know she is. You have to believe it too.” I spoke the words in my most confident tone and wished I could explain why I was so sure, but it would upset her more if I did.
Getting off the phone with mom and dad I called Gran and Grandad. I wanted to tell Gran what Kara said. I decided to edit the part about Charming, at least for tonight. I was holding on by a thread and Gran did not need me breaking down right now. Explaining to her my encounter with yet another psychic actually got through to her and Gran seemed to relax as we talked. I told her Kara was dead on about everything she told me and by the time we hung up I knew Gran believed she would be just fine. I knew that I should call Rylee too, but I was exhausted both mentally and physically from my crazy day and just couldn’t tell the story tonight. Unlike my folks and gran, Rylee would get the entire story. I told her everything. Nothing was kept secret between us. Texting her instead, I asked her to let me know a good time for her to talk tomorrow, then turned off my phone and plugged it in to the charger.
It was as I removed my shirt, throwing it in the bright green laundry basket on my closet floor, that the anxiety hit. It came with the sudden realization that if Charming was always with me and could see me, then I was undressing in front of him. Not just right now, but always. That meant he had seen me in my most private, personal moments. He’d seen me throw up
when I had the flu, singing and dancing in my room, crying my eyes out when I was sad, wearing my head gear when I had braces… The humiliation was endless. It was unbearable. He could see me right now, the horror clear on my face. Could he read my mind too? Would I never, ever be free of his presence?
Pulling my most modest pajamas out of my drawer I turned off the overhead light and fumbled clumsily in the dark trying to get them on and stubbing my toe painfully on the end of the bed. I was almost grateful for the pain because` it allowed the tears to start and once they did I cried loudly and endlessly until exhausted, I slept.
~
I sat up in bed, calmly aware that my ugly dorm room had morphed into a spacious room filled with expensive antique furnishings and a blazing fire crackling and popping in a stone fireplace. A real fire, not gas logs that turned on with a switch like I’d grown up with. I was obviously dreaming and somehow this thought did not bother me at all even though I had never dreamed before. I ran my hand across the beautiful golden quilt that covered me and noticed that someone was sitting in one of two upholstered chairs in front of the fire. I felt no fear, I recognized that golden blonde head and I smiled when I heard him speak .
“Come sit with me Sophie,” he said softly. I knew that voice, knew it instantly and intimately. A feeling of pure joy filled me and I threw back the covers and jumped carefully off the tall four poster bed. I looked down in awe at the delicate silk and lace gown I wore, its modest lines covering me from throat to toes, my fingers peeking out of its bell shaped sleeves.
Tiptoeing to the empty chair I sat down and let my gaze fall upon Charming. Drinking him in, I stared at his living, breathing beauty come to life. Every single feature I had lovingly drawn, my pencil demanding perfection, sat here just inches away. There wasn’t a feature I had forgotten, or gotten wrong. My prince, my Charming, my creation, was looking at me, the love in his eyes clear and honest making my cheeks burn and my stomach flutter.
I loved him. I knew this. I knew the feel of his silky hair beneath my fingers, knew where my head would rest on his chest when he held me. I knew his smell and the taste of his mouth. He was my life, my heart, my universe. The man of my dreams-literally.
“Hello Sophie,” he smiled and his dimples deepened. His navy eyes studied me and I wanted to stay here under his gaze forever.
“Charming, I don’t know what’s happening. Where are we and where have you been?”
“Do you remember anything at all about us?” he asked, the hope clear in his voice. He leaned close and reaching over enclosed my hands in both of his. His touch felt electric and my heart raced in response. I nodded.
“What?” he asked. “What do you remember? This room, do you recognize it?”
“No. Where are we?” I asked, my eyes reluctantly leaving his to look around me, trying to recognize anything that might stir a memory.
“This is your room.”
“My room! How?” I was confused and for the first time felt a little uneasiness at my apparent amnesia.
“Do you know me?” he asked another question without answering mine.
“Yes, of course, you’re Charming.” I knew this. “I’ve been sketching you all my life.”
“Do you know why you’ve been sketching me?”
I frowned and wrinkled my forehead in confusion. I knew him, yet I couldn’t answer the simplest question.
“Because you are my soul mate, I just haven’t found you yet.”
“No Sophie. You have found me. Do you remember any of our dreams?”
“No, I’ve never had a dream before, ever.” I said this with conviction. This I did know. I was sure of that.
“Yes, you have dreamed before. The first time you were only five and I found you in the nursery of this house drawing pictures. I sat down and drew with you and asked if you knew my name. You nodded and said ‘you’re Prince Charming. Can I just call you Charming or do I have to say Prince every time?’ I tried not to laugh and told you that you could call me whatever you like. I said you could call me Charlie if you wanted to. You looked at me with your big dark eyes and said. ‘No thanks, Charming.’”
“So that’s where I got it. Probably all those princess movies I was always watching. Your name is Charlie?”
He nodded and I ached at the sadness that flashed in his eyes. I wanted to remember for him even more so than for myself.
“I don’t remember this room. I don’t remember anything except the feelings you make me feel. I know I love you but I don’t know how this could be. I know your face like I know my own. I draw you constantly and I have all my life. You are my Charming, simple as that.”
“Oh, Sophie, if only it were simple. I can tell you what I know and maybe it will help it come back to you.” I don’t think he realized how tightly he squeezed my hands as he spoke in a rush, anxious to share everything he knew with me.
“We’ve known each other Sophie. Loved each other completely, which is why you are able to feel that love yet forget our past. We were so happy once, it was a perfect life in nearly every way. When we left that lifetime you were born into this one but something went wrong, because I wasn’t. I’ve been here next to you all your life. You can’t see or hear me but you draw me and so you do remember, just not everything.” He looked down at our joined hands then back into my eyes.
“Oh, Charming, why haven’t I felt you there? I should have felt you!” I ached with regret that I had missed his presence all this time.
“It’s enough that I’m with you. I can’t ask for more than that…it’s everything to me. And there have been other dreams Sophie, you just never remembered when you awoke.”
“So you mean I won’t remember this one either?” Sadness welled up and I felt tears threatening to spill.
“I don’t know, but while I’m able I want to tell you that I don’t watch your private moments. I swear to you I would never take advantage of this situation.” He grinned and I felt blood rush to my cheeks with embarrassment as I remembered my freak out of last night.
“But you can read my mind right? Because I did not say anything out loud.”
“I can hear your thoughts, yes, and I can speak to you in dreams, that seems to be the extent of it.”
“Can I touch you Charming? Before I wake up and forget you again?” I asked boldly, I wasn’t sure why but I needed to touch him.
“I’ve waited a lifetime to hold you again,” he said simply as he stood up and pulled me into his arms. Holding me tightly, I felt him kiss the top of my head and I looked up into his eyes and suddenly his lips found mine and we were kissing. My first kiss, only it wasn’t. It was passionate and familiar and perfect and over before I wanted it to be.
“Sophie, we are almost out of time” he whispered breathlessly. “Please sweetheart, please remember me when you wake. Remember us.”
Chapter 4
I awoke remembering the dream and scrambled to grab a notebook and a pen recording every detail frantically lest I begin to forget. Once I had the words down on paper, I relaxed and lay back down a smile on my face. I replayed each moment, especially the kiss, in my mind. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was barely five a.m. and wondered if I could fall back to sleep. Could I dream again? Man, had I been missing out all these years. If dreaming could bring Charming and I together then I planned on going to bed a lot earlier from now on. I laughed out loud in my happiness and realized my lips felt tender and swollen. The kiss was real, that was for sure. I could feel the proof of it.
“Charming,” I spoke in a loud whisper although I knew he could hear my thoughts, “I remember!” Knowing intuitively he’d be as happy as I at this amazing development I rolled over and remembered every minute detail again and again. Every moment was crystal clear. I began to wonder about the beautiful bedroom we’d been in. Had it really been mine in our past? What had my name been? Was I exactly the same now as I had been then? So many questions flew through my mind and the one who knew all the answers was right here beside
me with no way to speak.
“Charming, we have to find one of those mediums Kara was talking about. I may not be able to see you except in dreams but I will find a way for us to communicate when I’m awake!” With that it hit me, where did I go to find out anything I wanted to know? I grabbed my trusty Mac lying next to my bed and an hour later I had found numbers for three mediums in the San Diego area and ordered eight books on past lives. Closing my computer I took a diet soda from my mini fridge and turned to my right side to speak to Charming again. Realizing he was actually on my left I turned the other way. Freezing in my tracks, chills going up my spine I grasped what had just happened.
“Charming,” I said, nearly yelling, “I can feel you! I know where you are!” I laughed aloud with joy unlike any I had ever felt before and knew without a doubt that he was joining me. I didn’t quite know what to do next. I couldn’t call the mediums this early and my classes began this morning so I would have to deal with normal life soon. I decided to get ready for my day and go have breakfast. I needed to carry on, life would continue as it had, but I would now share it with Charming at my side.
Attending my first college class a few hours later I tried to keep myself present. I listened as my Psychology professor went over his six page syllabus. I think I succeeded fairly well, I heard enough to know it wasn’t going to be my favorite class. As soon as we were excused I found an empty bench and checked my schedule. My next class wasn’t for an hour so I pulled out my cell phone and called the number of the first medium I found. I didn’t know what a psychic’s business hours were, but it was 9:30 so I felt that it was a respectable time to call. A voice mail answered the first number, so I hung up and quickly dialed the next one. This time someone answered, but said that they were house sitting and the owners would not be home for three weeks. Starting to get discouraged I tried the last number and exhaled in relief when a cheerful voice answered.
“Hello? This is Melissa.”
“Uh… hi... I was calling to make an appointment?” My voice raised the words into a question.
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