by Kimber White
She came down again, landing just in front of me. One more blast of light and she was Zendra once more.
I went to her, pulling her into my arms. “You’re amazing,” I said. “Why do I feel like I’ve only just begun to understand what you are?”
She went up on her tiptoes and kissed me. “I feel the same way about you,” she said. “I’ve been...different since you found me.”
She put a hand on her chest right over her heart. She put her other hand over mine.
“This,” she said. “Your heartbeat. It’s like I can feel it inside me now.”
I took her hand and kissed it. “I told you,” I said. “It means you’re mine. Do you know about fated mates?”
She tilted her head. It wasn’t fear I saw in her eyes, but what I said clearly concerned her.
“Some,” she said.
“Well,” I continued. “I know how it works between shifters and humans. They can sense each other. It’s an unbreakable bond. If I were to mark a human woman, we’d be connected telepathically too. And...it’s what would allow us to have a child together.”
We walked hand in hand back to the cabin. Zendra was quiet, contemplative, but not scared. I felt much the same.
“Would it be like that for us?” she asked.
“Your guess is as good as mine,” I said. “You’re not human. You’re not shifter. You're something in between, maybe.”
“No,” she said. “I’m something that transcends them both. This mark. I’ve dreamt about it.”
We’d reached the cabin. We paused in front of the open doorway. She put a hand over the back of her neck. “Here,” she said. “You’d mark me here. I craved it, Edward. My body wants it.”
“What about your head and your heart?” I smiled.
She blushed. It was getting damn difficult to think straight. We were both still naked and Zendra’s perfect, wine-colored nipples were peaked from the chill in the air. I grew instantly rock hard. She reached for me.
I let out a moan as Zendra closed her fingers around me with one hand and cupped my balls with the other. “I don’t know,” she whispered. “I only know how good you feel.”
It was my turn to reach for her. God, she was slippery already. I dipped a finger into her. She dropped her head back with a sigh. I brought my arms around her, lifting her off the ground. We didn’t even make it fully into the cabin before I had her on her back. I would take my time with her later; for now, we both had a raw hunger that needed to be satisfied.
I came quickly, wrapping Zendra’s ankles over my shoulders. She bit her lip and arched her back. When I finished, I flipped over, bringing her with me until she straddled me. I loved the sight of her as she rode me.
Her hair flew around her shoulders and I reached for her breasts, gently clasping each of her nipples with my fingers. It worked to heighten her sensation as she took her pleasure. Her walls clenched around me as she let go. I felt a rush of her juices as she ground into me. Then, she became boneless. I caught her and brought her down beside me.
Later, we did it all again in the shower. Zendra took me in her mouth for the first time. Afterward, I dried her off and carried her to the bed. She was asleep before I even pulled the covers up.
I sat beside her, watching her at peace. I knew in my heart I could stay here with her forever if fate allowed it. I hadn’t asked her the question that burned through my mind. Would she have me? Would she let me mark her as my mate? What would it mean if she did?
Sleep finally came for me as well. I pulled her against me, loving the feel of her round ass against my thighs as I fit myself around her.
Chapter Sixteen
Zendra
For three days, Edward opened me to his world. We hunted during the day. I felt most comfortable taking on the form of a wolf over any other animal. Edward’s influence, I told him. He was my touchstone. That was the principal difference between what he was and what I was.
“Your wolf is part of you,” I said. We’d just come back from patrolling the perimeter of the state park. There were a few campers to the east on the public lands. But, the backwoods, in the abandoned cabins where we stayed, it was as if we existed in a bubble all our own. I found myself wishing it could stay that way.
“I didn’t understand that at first,” I said. “I’d been raised to believe it was some kind of beast. An affliction.”
“Jekyll and Hyde,” he laughed. “That’s an old myth.”
“Yes,” I said. I lounged on the couch. Edward had picked a basket full of berries. He sat on the coffee table beside me and popped one in my mouth. The sweet, delicious juice ran down my chin. Laughing. I tried to catch it. Edward leaned down and kissed me.
“So what do Fae have against shifters?” he asked.
I sat up. I’d danced around the truth for days. Edward was patient, but I had the feeling he knew I was holding back.
“Misinformation,” I said. “That’s all it is. Is it so different for those of you who’ve lived here your whole lives? Shifters mistrust witches. Witches mistrust shifters. But, from what I see, the minute either of you take a minute to actually get to know one another, it changes. Like your cousin. The one you told me married a wind mage?”
“Milo,” he said. “Yes. But Nadia is his mate.”
“Hmm,” I said. I was still trying to wrap my head around the concept of fated mates. I understood it all on paper. And I couldn’t deny the hunger I had whenever Edward touched me. Every time we made love, it got harder and harder to pull away. It was that way for Edward too. There was something bothering him, but he wouldn't tell me what.
I saw it first as a tremor in his hands. He tried to hide it. Then, after the first time we coupled, I could feel his struggle to keep his wolf at bay. Each time we hunted, it seemed harder for him to shift back and quiet his wolf.
“Will you tell me what’s wrong?” I asked now.
Edward found a quick smile. He’d been doing that for days. Here I was worried about hiding something, but he was doing it too. I couldn’t bring myself to say what I truly thought. I could barely let myself think it. But it was clear. Even now, Edward’s color seemed paler. He was strong. Virile. Magnificent. But, as I sensed the faint beating of Edward’s heart alongside my own, I knew something was making him sick.
“You know we can’t stay here forever,” I said.
“I know. I wish we could.”
“So do I.” I sat up and touched his face. His eyes flashed bright blue. He seemed startled and pulled away.
“I have to go,” I said. “You know that. I have to go to Kilauea and try to find the last piece of the medallion.”
“And then what?” he asked.
“Then,” I said. “I see if my family is still out there. I have to try.”
“And you know there’s no way I’m letting you do that alone. You need someone to watch your back.”
We reached the same impasse we’d skirted for weeks. Edward wanted to go with me. I knew it was too dangerous. For him and for me. His need to protect me might be the thing that got him killed. Because I couldn’t guarantee what would happen. Once I opened the portal, I might not be able to come back through it. If Edward tried to follow me, he wouldn’t survive.
So, I had to choose. Edward or my family?
The thought of leaving either of them tore me in two. Though he had not fully claimed me as his mate, the simple truth was, I loved him. I burned for him. The thought of living even a day without seeing him took the air from my lungs.
Only, if I didn’t try to get my parents and brothers through to safety, I would never be able to live with myself. I’d be no good to Edward or anyone else. Olen could be out there. It was only a matter of time before he found my parents first.
“How about tomorrow?” he said.
I sat up. “Tomorrow what?”
“How about we leave tomorrow? It’s been almost a week and there’s been no sign of Olen or anyone else. I think it’s safe enough to hit the road again. I�
�ll check in with Payne in the morning, then we’ll catch a flight to Hawaii.”
Tears sprang to my eyes. “Are you serious? You think Wolfguard will back your plan?”
He kissed me. “I wanted to surprise you. But, it’s already in motion. Payne’s going to send a crew to meet us when we touch down.”
I didn’t know what to say. It was as if Edward gave me my heart and broke it all at once. Now that I’d found him, I knew I just couldn’t risk losing him. At the same time, I didn’t know how I could even contemplate betraying him by leaving him behind.
“It’s going to be okay,” he said. “I promise. We’ll find a way. You’re not alone anymore, Zen.”
Zen. No one had ever called me that before. It sent a shiver of desire through me every time he said it.
He felt it. Edward’s eyes flashed darkly. I wanted him. Maybe this would be my only chance. He slept the deepest after we made love. I could steal away before he woke.
I moved off the couch and let him take me in his arms. He was rigid. I closed my fingers around him and slid to my knees in front of him.
Edward threw his head back and growled. I blinked hard, feeling as if I could cry. Could I do it? Was I brave enough to walk away?
Then, something happened. Edward arched backward. His arms and legs shot straight out and locked in place. The table cracked in two from the weight of him. He dropped to the floor, his body wracked with convulsions.
“Edward!” I shouted.
His eyes glassed over then froze. His fangs dropped and his claws came out. But, he didn’t seem able to complete the shift. He was trapped between wolf and man.
Edward’s agony ripped through me. He screamed though he made no sound.
Staggering backward, I crashed against the opposite wall.
No. No. No. Was it me? Had I done this to him somehow?
Edward’s mind became chaos. I felt him still. It was as if his bones were on fire.
“Don’t!” I screamed. My instincts told me if he kept trying to shift, he’d hurt himself even worse. I ran to the car. I kept one length of Dragonsteel chain in my bag. Racing to the cabin, I wound it around Edward’s chest. It wasn't enough to bind him in place, but it seemed to block his efforts to shift.
His heart slowed. Some of his pain eased, but the torture didn’t.
“Help me,” he said, his voice a haunted whisper.
Part of me wanted to run. Was it me? Had I done this to him? Had being with me somehow poisoned him? Only, I knew this had been coming on for a long time. He showed symptoms on the very first day I met him.
“Payne,” he whispered. Then, his eyes rolled back into his head and he mercifully passed out.
Payne. I ran to the kitchen. Edward’s phone was still on the charger. I swiped it open and dialed the only number on it.
Chapter Seventeen
Zendra
“Tell me what’s wrong with him,” I said. I sat in a large office overlooking downtown Chicago. I’d never been here before. I’d never been to any big city before. The silver skyscrapers seemed so ugly to me. A sharp contrast to the beauty of the shimmering blue lake beyond.
Payne Fallon sat across from me on a brown leather couch. It was hard to be in the presence of so many Alpha wolves at once. Beside him sat Milo Kalenkov, Edward’s cousin. They couldn’t have looked less like family. Milo had dark hair and brooding features. I could sense both of their wolves just below the surface. They didn’t know what to make of me. I was a threat. An unknown. For all I knew, they blamed me for what happened to Edward.
“He’s sick,” I said. “He’s been sick for weeks. He’s kept it from you.”
I knew I was betraying Edward's trust, but he needed help. Help I didn’t know how to give.
Milo lowered his head, looking uncomfortable, but not surprised. The news I shared didn’t seem to be news at all.
“You’ve known?” I said, my eyes darting between the two men.
“It’s something we all face,” Payne said, his tone soft. He tried diplomacy. “All Alpha shifters, anyway. Edward’s...it’s complicated.”
“Do you know how to help him?” I asked, putting equal emphasis on each word.
“We know how to help him,” Milo said. “It’s just not something in our power to give.”
Milo and Payne exchanged a nervous glance. It got harder for me to control the light within me. I had an overwhelming urge to blast both of them straight in the chest.
“He trusts you,” I said, rising. “That’s all I’ve been hearing for weeks. Wolfguard has his back. You’d be the ones to help.”
“Sit down,” Payne barked. I refused.
“You don’t have power over me,” I said.
“Why should I trust you?” Payne asked.
“Because Edward does,” I said.
“Edward may not be in his right mind when it comes to you,” Milo said. There was anger in his voice I didn’t feel I’d earned.
“What’s that supposed to mean? Do you think I’ve put some kind of spell on him? I’m not a witch. He knows that.”
Payne let out a heavy sigh. “Zendra,” he said. “Edward should have explained all of this to you. It isn’t our place.”
“Edward’s unconscious and tied up in Dragonsteel at the moment!” I shouted. “And I’m getting damn sick of the two of you dancing around whatever it is you think I should know. You need my help too!”
My medallion dangled between my breasts. Payne’s eyes went to it.
“This?” I said. “Gods. Is this the price you’ll extract for helping Edward? He’s not a bargaining chip. He’s supposed to be one of your own.”
“He is!” Milo boomed. He got to his feet and took two strides toward me, his eyes blazing. “But you’re not.”
“Enough!” Payne said. He got in between us. He put a hand on Milo’s chest and pushed him back to the couch.
“Look,” I said. “We’re running out of time. Edward would never agree with you trying to steal what belongs to me. You have no idea what you’re asking.”
“So tell me,” Payne said. He ran a hand over his face. “Fine. I suppose it goes both ways. Zendra, Edward should have leveled with you about what’s happening to him. It’s been coming on for a while. Now, I’m not trying to get between the two of you. But Edward's suffering from mating sickness.”
I took a step back. Mating sickness? “What does that mean?” I asked, not sure I wanted the answer. Was Payne trying to say I bore some responsibility for Edward’s illness? Horror filled my heart. Had I hurt him somehow? Was my magic poisoning him?
“Alpha wolves are meant to find and claim their fated mates,” he continued. “If they don’t, in time, they become less able to control their wolves. It’s true for all Alpha shifters. Bears. Tigers. Lions. All of us. If Edward doesn’t mate, he’s going to eventually go completely feral. He’ll stay in his wolf forever. I’ll admit, it’s unusual for someone as young as he is to be this advanced. I had no idea it had gotten so bad. He’s been lying to us. Hiding his symptoms. If I’d known, I never would have sent him back out into the field.”
I shook my head trying to clear it.
“This isn’t your fault,” Payne said as if he could read my mind. “And wolf shifters usually aren’t in the business of claiming mates without their consent. At least, not the good ones. And we are. Edward’s made his position clear concerning you. His offer of protection extends to all of us. You’re safe here.”
“None of us are safe here,” Milo snapped.
“Milo!” Payne shouted.
“No,” he said. “I’m sorry. I really mean that, Zendra. I get that it’s a lot for you to take in. I also honor my cousin’s vows. And Wolfguard’s. But every minute we sit on our hands, the Ring grows more powerful. Whatever you choose to do about Edward...well...it is your choice. But, you’ve been keeping secrets from him too. You know more about that medallion than you’re letting on.”
“I’ve told him everything!” I shouted, indignant. Only
the lie burned inside of me. I hadn’t shared it all. If I did, I wondered if these two men would continue to honor Edward’s promises. If anything happened to him…
“Can you help him?” I said. “Is there something you can give him? I mean to at least relieve his symptoms?”
“We are,” Payne said. “Whether you realized it or not, chaining him in Dragonsteel was probably the best thing you could have done.”
“It’s a prison,” I said, my voice breaking. Even now, I could feel the pain in Edward’s heart. It nearly killed me to hurt him like that, even if it did help in the short term.
“You’re right,” Milo said. “But it’s far past time for you to decide whose side you’re on. Either you’re actively fighting against the Ring, or you’re protecting them. Which is it?”
“Enough!”
Edward’s strong voice cut through me. My knees went weak as I turned. His color was still ashen, but he stood tall and straight as he charged into the room and came to my side.
My heart twisted. I couldn’t stand to go another second without Edward’s touch. It seemed the same for him. He caught me and folded me against his side.
“We need a minute,” he said to the others. Before they could answer he whisked me out of the room and pushed open the door across the hall. It was another, smaller conference room, this one empty.
Once we were alone, I smothered his face with kisses and smoothed my hands over his body. I needed to convince myself he was real. That he was whole.
“I’m okay,” he said.
“For now,” I said, my voice choking. “Edward, they told me what’s wrong with you. Why didn’t you?”
A muscle jumped in his jaw. “It’s nothing you need to worry about right now. I’ve got it under control.”
“For how long?” I said, my voice rising, sounding shrill.
“Look,” he said. “We’ve got bigger things to worry about right now.