by Shuler, Tara
“Suit yourself,” Malachai said, and then he disappeared.
“Malachai?” Beth called.
There was no response. She looked around, but other than a bird settling in a nearby tree, she saw no movement of any kind.
“Are you still there?” she called again, but there was no response.
She sighed heavily. Once again, she was all alone. She was just about to get to her feet to walk home when a beautiful dog bounded out of the woods and stopped in the clearing. He raised his head and sniffed, and his head turned toward Beth. The dog appeared to be a Siberian Husky, but his fur was pure white. His eyes were stunningly blue – like the sky on a bright summer day.
“Oh, hello,” she said to the dog.
The dog lowered his head and whined pitifully.
“Don’t be afraid,” Beth said gently. “I won’t hurt you.”
The dog took one cautious step toward her.
“It’s alright,” she called softly. “Come here.”
Beth slowly extended her hand toward him, beckoning him to her. He took another step, and then stopped to whine again.
“Come on,” she urged sweetly.
Finally, the dog seemed convinced she was harmless, and his tail wagged weakly. Slowly and cautiously, he padded his way through the grass and stopped just a few feet away from her. He sniffed the air and tilted his head to the side.
Beth smiled at the dog, still holding her hand out for him to smell. The muscles under his fur rippled and trembled as he nervously inched closer. Finally, his nose touched her fingers, and his tongue snaked out and licked her carefully.
“That’s it,” Beth said quietly. “Good boy.”
She moved her hand very slowly upward and touched the top of his muzzle. He flinched briefly, and then allowed her to rub his nose. She stroked over the top of his head, and he closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of a human’s touch.
At last, the dog seemed to trust her. He lowered his body into the grass beside her and rested his head on his front paws. As she stroked his head tenderly, he whined softly.
“That’s a good boy,” Beth whispered. “Do you live out here all alone? Don’t you have a family?”
He whined again.
“Can I call you Sam?” Beth asked, and he wagged his tail politely.
“You know, you’re just what I needed,” Beth told him. “A friend that isn’t complicated, and won’t leave me.”
Beth stood up and patted her leg.
“Come, Sam,” she called. “Let’s go home.”
The dog hoisted himself up from his lazy position in the grass and followed her. He seemed just as glad to have a friend as she was. Before she left, her eyes scanned the clearing one more time, hoping for a glimpse of Malachai. He was nowhere to be seen, so she headed down the pathway toward home.
Chapter Six
When Beth got home, Aztos was waiting for her. He was leaning back in the recliner in the living room, and he glared at her suspiciously as she closed the door behind her.
“Hi!” she chirped, excited to see him.
“Where have you been?” he snarled. “And what it that?”
“It’s… a dog…” she said, confused. “I was just out walking in the woods and I found him.”
Sam hid behind Beth and whimpered pitifully. She reached back and touched his nose gently, trying to comfort him.
“That’s all?” Aztos asked.
“Yeah, why? What’s wrong?”
Beth sat down on the sofa, and Sam crept over and lowered himself to the floor, resting his large white head on her feet.
“When I came home and you were not here, I was anxious. I do not like it when I do not know where you are.”
“I was just taking a walk. There was no reason to be worried.”
Aztos glared at the dog.
“Where did you find that thing?” he said, clearly irritated.
Sam growled softly, and Beth reached down and scratched his neck.
“He was alone in the forest. He doesn’t have a collar or anything, and he seemed really shy. I don’t think he has an owner.”
“And you had to bring it home?” Aztos glowered.
“He was all alone,” Beth tried to explain. “I was lonely, and he was there. Please don’t be angry with me.”
Beth’s eyes glistened, and Aztos’ icy stare softened a little.
“Please do not leave the house without at least leaving me a note telling me where you are going and when you will return,” Aztos pleaded.
“Alright, I won’t,” Beth promised. “Were you really that worried about me?”
“You are my wife. It is my duty to make sure you are safe.”
“Duty. That’s the only reason?”
“Elizabeth, there is something you should understand. I should have told you this earlier, but I could not find the words. Demons do not experience emotions the same way humans do. We have them, but they affect us differently. If you are expecting some sort of romance out of our relationship, I am afraid you will be disappointed.”
“No… I… I wasn’t expecting anything. I just… well, I…”
“I am sorry if you are disappointed,” he interjected.
“I’m not,” she lied.
In truth, Beth was hoping that Aztos would develop romantic feelings toward her at some point, just as she was hoping she would develop those same feelings for him. Demon or not, he was her husband. They were bound to spend eternity together – or at least as long as Lucifer saw fit to allow. It might have been easier if they were in love – or at least if they had some kind of romantic feelings between them.
Yes, she was disappointed. How could she not be? Like most little girls, she’d grown up believing that one day her knight in shining armor would sweep her off her feet and carry her away into the sunset, for a life of white picket fences and iced tea on the porch. Perhaps she was naïve, but it was what she’d always hoped for and dreamed of. Facing eternity with a man who could never love her was a frightening prospect. Now, she felt more alone than ever.
“Are you hungry?” Beth asked. “I can make you something to eat.”
“No, I am not hungry at the moment.”
“Alright. I’ll just find the dog something to eat.”
“Would you like me to have a servant pick up some food for it?” he growled, still unhappy to have the mongrel in his home.
“It is a he, and his name is Sam,” Beth said firmly.
“Fine, fine. Would you like me to have a servant bring him some food?”
“Why don’t we go to the store together?” Beth suggested. “I’d really like to get out of the house for a while.”
“How terribly domestic,” Aztos scoffed, rolling his eyes.
“We’re a family, now,” Beth reminded him. “That what families do.”
“That’s what human families do,” he complained.
“Well, I’m human. Come on. Please?”
Aztos sighed in frustration.
“Fine,” he relented.
“Do we even have a car?” Beth asked.
“Yes, there is one in the garage,” Aztos answered. “I thought we might have need of one at some point.”
“Alright, let’s go,” she urged, taking Aztos’ hand and pulling him up from his comfortable seat.
Aztos rolled his eyes again behind Beth’s back, but he did not protest. The mundane activities of humans were boring and frustrating to him, but he thought he should do his best to make life with his human wife as bearable as possible.
“Sam, you stay here and be a good boy,” Beth told the dog, and he whined sadly.
“You are not leaving that thing inside the house while we are gone, are you?” Aztos argued.
“I don’t want him to run off while we’re shopping for him,” Beth protested.
“Then we can leave it in the garage,” Aztos declared.
“What if he gets too cold in there?”
“It is a dog, Elizabeth. It has fur. It will be
fine.”
“His name is Sam, and it’s freezing! It’s only twenty degrees outside!”
“Do you see how thick that thing’s fur is? The dog will be just fine in the garage while we make a quick trip to the store.”
Beth sighed dramatically.
“Fine, Aztos,” she conceded. “But if he gets sick, I’m holding you responsible.”
Sam followed Beth and Aztos to the garage, and she bent down and stroked Sam’s white fur fondly.
“Stay here,” she said gently. “We’ll be back with some food for you soon, okay?”
Sam looked up at Beth with his sad blue eyes and wagged his tail weakly. Beth’s heart melted. She hated leaving the poor creature alone, especially when he seemed so lonesome.
Beth directed Aztos to the local pet store, and they quickly rounded up everything they needed to care for Sam. Aztos sighed and rolled his eyes as Beth filled the shopping cart with more and more items. She got both canned and dry dog food, a collar and leash, a brush, food and water bowls, flea shampoo, rawhide bones, a comfortable dog bed, and dozens of different toys.
“Is all of this really necessary?” Aztos wailed.
“I want him to feel at home,” Beth explained.
“How long do you plan on this mutt staying with us?” Aztos wanted to know.
“As long as he’d like,” Beth said firmly.
Aztos opened his mouth to object, but he closed it again quickly. He didn’t want a disagreement.
When they got home, the garage door slowly opened. Beth gasped aloud. Sam was nowhere in sight. She jumped out of the car and whirled around, looking for any sign of Sam.
“Where could he be?” she cried. “The door was closed! He couldn’t have gotten out!”
Aztos was just as shocked as Beth.
“I do not understand it, myself,” he commented.
“Are you sure you didn’t have something to do with this?” Beth asked incredulously.
“Are you accusing me of deliberately freeing the dog?” Aztos demanded.
“Well, I don’t know how else he could have gotten out!” she shouted.
“Please do not shout at me. And when would I have had time to release the dog when I was with you?”
“You could have used that telepathy thing to get a servant to do it,” Beth accused.
“Do you really think so little of me?” Aztos asked, clearly hurt.
Beth was immediately contrite.
“No. I’m sorry. This is just surprising. I don’t understand it.”
“I do not know what happened, but I would not deliberately do something like that.”
“I know,” Beth said. “I was just really looking forward to having a dog.”
“Should we return the stuff you purchased?” Aztos suggested.
“No! Maybe he will still come back.”
Beth was melancholy as she carried her purchases inside and placed them on a shelf in the garage. She had been looking forward to having some company during the times when Aztos was away on assignments.
It was still surprising to her how completely natural it seemed to be married to a demon – even knowing some of the terrible things he was probably out doing on his assignments – assignments which likely came from Lucifer himself.
When Aztos wasn’t away on an assignment, their lives were surprisingly normal. Except for the fact that there was no romance whatsoever between them, and Aztos had made it clear there likely never would be, they did many things other married couples did. They watched movies, they talked, and Aztos even read to her from some of his favorite books from time to time.
It might have been enough for some women, but Beth wanted more. She understood that demons didn’t feel emotions the same way humans did, and often she longed for her own emotions to dampen. She wanted to be in a marriage full of love and passion. But at least her marriage was real. There were no pretenses. There was no need to be fake. Aztos was comfortable with Beth the way she was, and she was surprisingly accepting of him.
A few days after their trip to the pet store, Aztos was called away on another assignment. Not long after he left, during a bleak and boring afternoon, Beth took a trip into the forest. She told herself she was going to look for Sam, but in truth she was hoping to once again see Malachai.
Once she reached the clearing, she began to call for Sam. She didn’t want to call for Malachai, because she didn’t want him to know she was there hoping to see him – or perhaps she didn’t consciously realize it herself.
“Sam! Here, boy! Sam? Where are you? Come here, boy!” she called.
“If you are calling the dog, I don’t believe he is here,” she heard a familiar voice say.
“Malachai?” she asked. “Is that you?”
“What are you doing here?” Malachai’s voice returned.
“I’m looking for the dog,” Beth answered. “Please show yourself.”
“Why?” Malachai wanted to know. “What is the point?”
“I told you before, it’s rather disconcerting to be talking to a disembodied voice,” she admitted. “Besides, I like looking at you.”
“I don’t know why,” Malachai said. “I know what I look like.”
“Excuse me?”
“When angels fall, they lose their beauty. I know I am horrible to look at, and for that, I apologize.”
“What in the world are you talking about?”
“I’ve seen my reflection in the stream. You don’t have to lie for my benefit.”
“Why would I lie?”
“Perhaps you don’t wish to hurt my feelings. But I know the truth.”
“I’m really confused. What exactly do you think you see, Malachai?”
Changing the subject, Malachai asked once more, “What are you doing here?”
“I told you, I came looking for the dog I met here a few days ago.”
“What do you want that thing for?”
“Sam is a beautiful dog, and if you must know, he was really great company! I don’t really have any friends, and I tend to get very lonely.”
“Why don’t you have friends?”
“It’s a long story. I don’t really have any contact with my friends or family these days.”
“Is that by choice? Did they do something to you?” Malachai asked, clearly concerned.
“You could say that,” Beth mumbled.
“What did they do to you?”
“My mother betrothed me to a demon.”
“In exchange for what?”
“Greater power. She’s a witch.”
“I suppose you mean in the literal sense of the word.”
“Yes, although both could certainly apply right now.”
“What would a demon want with a human wife for his son?” Malachai wondered aloud.
Beth sighed wistfully. This wasn’t something she felt comfortable discussing with anyone, much less an angel – fallen or otherwise.
“I have no idea. All I know is my mother agreed to the deal.”
“And I guess you’ve already gone through with it from the looks of things,” he said, noticing the mark on her wrist.
Beth looked guiltily down at the ground.
“Yes.”
“Does he treat you well?”
“As well as I could expect a demon to, I suppose.”
“What does that mean? Is he hurting you?” Malachai’s voice was suddenly thick with suppressed rage.
His fury was so intense, he lost his ability to stay invisible. He couldn’t stand to think of a demon hurting a human – especially not one as kind and selfless as Beth. Beth gasped, and he was immediately self-conscious. He thought himself terribly ugly, and he turned away from her.
“No, no,” Beth said quickly. “Nothing like that. He’s just… growing a bit controlling. And he has this… darkness in him that I’ve heard about. And… I’ve seen it once. It frightens me.”
“Can you not get away from him?”
“If I do, the deal is broken. My mother�
��s soul will be claimed by Lucifer to fulfill her end of the deal, and she’ll be cast into The Pit forever.”
“So you married a demon to save the soul of the mother who tried to sell your soul in the first place?”
“She’s still my mother, Malachai. No matter what she’s done.”
“You do realize that your own soul has now been compromised, don’t you? Nothing you can do can save it now that you’ve married a demon.”
“I understand that,” Beth admitted, tears stinging her eyes. “But I couldn’t let my own mother go to Hell forever.”
Malachai wanted to help this poor girl. His heart ached for her. Such a sacrifice was far beyond the capability of most mortals, and now she was paying for it, dearly. However, with his abilities stripped, he was powerless to assist. For the first time since he was cast out, he regretted the decision that led to his exile.
“I wish I could help you,” he said, regret tainting his voice.
“Malachai, you have enough to worry about,” Beth said. “My problems are nothing compared to yours.”
“You’ve lost your soul!” Malachai shouted. “There is nothing worse than that!”
“You have also lost yours, have you not?” Beth reminded him.
“I honestly don’t know what will happen to my soul,” he admitted. “I don’t know any other fallen angels. I don’t know what happens to us.”
“But you’re mortal, now, right? Maybe that means you have a mortal soul, just like a human. Maybe that means the choices you make will have a bearing on what happens to it.”
“If that is true, there is no hope for me. I don’t feel capable of making the right choices, anymore.”
“I don’t think that’s true.”
“You don’t know how I feel inside. The light has been taken from me. There is nothing left but… darkness.”
“Is there anything I can do to help you?”
“You’ve lost your immortal soul, and you want to help me?” Malachai asked incredulously.
“You’re not evil, Malachai. I can plainly see that. I have to believe there is still hope for you.”
“There is no good left in me. I am hideous. I am soulless. I am dead inside.”
Beth wanted to step forward and take his hand, to comfort him. However, she sensed a desire for solitude in Malachai. She thought it might be best to leave him alone, yet she could not.