A group of us decided to do a round of shots. Not surprisingly, all of the infidelity crew was in. Then I realized I was not guilty by association; I was actually guilty. That I hadn’t actually slept with Nicholas didn’t mean I was innocent.
Gabby proposed a toast and said the sweetest words about how I was such a great friend and deserved the kind of love I had in my life.
I was touched by what she said; tears filled my eyes and I thanked everyone for coming.
“Tonight I feel like the luckiest woman alive. To be here on this beautiful night celebrating with all my loved ones; you all bring such joy to my life and I am truly blessed. And to all my sorority sisters, I wish you joy and love and happiness.”
All my sorority sisters cracked up at my joke. It was a line from one of our songs, but the meaning could transcend to everyone I knew. I hoped and prayed that all of my loved ones would be happy. I wondered, would my cheating friends ever find it?
When we got home from the party, it was late. I got changed into the negligee Braden had gotten me at Agent Provocateur. Just wearing it made me feel sexy; I was hoping I was going to get lucky that night, but he seemed a million miles away.
I was lying in bed, facing away from him, but wishing he’d make a move on me. He was focused on his iPad, half playing and half working, but not paying one bit of attention to me. I put my hands under the covers and felt my tummy. It felt so flat, better than it had before I had kids. My friends noticed, my trainer at the gym noticed, and even Nick had commented on how light I was when he picked me up. Why didn’t Braden notice how hard I was working on my body?
I was suddenly angry at him. Why didn’t he want me? Here I was lying in our bed, and he would rather be playing Angry Birds than making love to me. I was horny and aching for his touch, but I wasn’t going to ask him for it. I wanted him to want me, to crave me.
I scooched my ass back so it was touching his thigh and danced it around a little. He grabbed one ass cheek and caressed it gently. He put the iPad on the nightstand and curled himself around me. “Hey, baby, how YOU doin’?” He was teasing me with his awesome impression of a New York Italian accent.
I exhaled deeply as he kissed my ear and reached around and fondled my breasts.
“Mmm, you feel good, baby,” I whispered.
“I’m going to make you feel great.” He tugged at my panties until they were off. He reached around and started massaging my pussy. His touch was slow and precise. I got wet immediately and could feel his hardness against my ass.
He spooned me with his cock now released from his boxers. He rocked his hips, and my wetness pulled him in.
“Mmm I love when your pussy gets so wet. You’re dripping, Liz.”
“I’m so horny, Braden. I need you.”
He pulled me back so his dick was as deep as it could go. We rocked rhythmically, his hips thrusting while his balls massaged my ass with each movement.
We didn’t say much else. A bunch of “mmms” and moans, and before I knew it, my body, no longer my own, came in waves of bliss. When I was done, Braden thrust a bit faster and harder until my pussy milked out every last drop of his cum.
It was simple, but powerful. Maybe I didn’t need fireworks every time. Calm yet explosive could be just as breathtaking. Couldn’t it?
Later, I thought back and replayed the night at the hotel with Nick. The way he looked at me was seared into my mind; the lust in his eyes lit a fire in me. That feeling was so familiar, like I had just lived it yesterday. I started having more flashbacks of our time together in college.
Flashbacks are like movies. They aren’t real. Well, they are, except somehow our memories like to hold on to the good parts and delete the bad. I keep hitting rewind, replaying our past over and over again. But in my mind, somehow the only memories that get replayed are the good ones. I know there were some bad times, but my heart won’t let me remember them. And that’s a problem because I want to remember the bad. I want to remember that he cheated and that he was materialistic and egocentric.
On paper, I remember. On paper, I know. But in my heart, in the darkest, deepest corners of my mind, that is not what I see, and it’s not what I feel. I feel the first kiss, the first tears, that first dance. I feel the falling in love, making love until the sun rose. I feel his hands caressing mine, the way he’d undress me with his eyes. I feel all of the good, but only the good, and every last bit of it.
During our painfully long breakup, I would say, “I’m just fine!” But I wasn’t, and he knew it. One day he said, “Well, is ‘fine’ how you want to live your life? Just fine?!? Because I don’t. I want my life to be great, to be amazing, and I want that for you too. For both of us. For us together. So go ahead and marry Braden. He’s nice and I bet he treats you well. But don’t be surprised if you wake up one day twenty years from now and fine isn’t fine at all. Fine sucks. Fine is for people who cop out and take a job that they hate because it pays the bills. Don’t ever settle for fine, Liz. You deserve so much more.”
GABBY
Saturday night couldn’t come fast enough. I had been fantasizing about Todd all week, and my anticipation had my heart racing at a fever pitch. The timing was perfect; Saturday night was Liz’s birthday party. I’d make a quick appearance, take a few photos—I couldn’t have asked for a better alibi.
I had casually mentioned to Steven that all of my girlfriends and I were staying at the hotel and I’d be back Sunday around noon. He was all for it and told me to have a great time. I couldn’t believe how easy cheating on him was going to be; it was almost too good to be true.
On Saturday evening, Steven was leaving to take the girls to the movies. He kissed me on the cheek. “Have fun, sweetie.”
I hugged him quickly. “Thanks, honey.” I turned my affections to my girls. Kerri and Katie were giddy about having “date night” with Daddy.
“I love you girls.” I hugged them tightly, both at the same time. They were truly beautiful. They both favored their father so much, taking after the Irish side of his family with their blonde, bouncy curls and pale blue eyes. They were my sweet Irish twins, born just eleven months apart. And they were the lights of my life.
I scooped Katie up in my arms and nuzzled her neck. At three years old, she was getting big and suddenly didn’t seem like such a baby anymore.
“I love you, Mommy. When are you coming home?” she asked in her tiny little voice.
“Probably not until tomorrow morning, but I’ll be home for breakfast, and if you want, we can even make Mickey Mouse pancakes.”
She hopped up and down. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”
Kerri, my big girl, reached for me to pick her up. Suddenly she looked a little sad.
“Mommy, I don’t want you to go.” Her eyes glistened with the tears she was trying to hold back.
“Why, lovey?”
“Because I miss you too much when you’re gone. I want to be with you forever.” Her tiny arms grabbed my neck tighter.
My heart swelled. For all the pain I’ve endured in my life, I felt like God made it up to me a little by gifting me the two most precious girls in the whole world.
“Aww, baby, we’ll be together forever.” My eyes welled with tears, and I kissed her all over her face and neck until she giggled.
“Okay, we’d better go, girls. We don’t want to miss the movie.” The girls skipped over to the door where Steven stood, and they all turned and blew me kisses.
I pretended to catch them and blew my own back at them. They left smiling, and for just a moment, my heart was happy.
As soon as they left, I shifted gears and went over to the cabinet where we kept our liquid courage. I grabbed a large tumbler, filled it with ice, and made myself a vodka and tonic. I took the drink upstairs so I could get ready to go out and get ready for Todd.
I decided to wear my True Religion jean skirt—it was snug fitting and showed off my curves something fierce—with black leather boots that went up to my knees and a tight black top tuc
ked in, all finished off with a leopard print belt.
I curled my straight bob so it had some bounce, applied my fake Mac eyelashes, and spent ten minutes making my lips look as hot, pouty, and kissable as possible. First a little foundation, then red lip liner, matted with powder, then two coats of Ruby Red Mac lipstick, finished off with some shiny gloss. I put on my favorite pair of silver hoop earrings and finished my look off with a chunky cross that landed exactly where my cleavage started. I spritzed myself with some Lancôme Tresor perfume, gave myself an approving glance in the mirror, and headed out the door.
The party was supposed to start at seven o’clock, so I made sure to arrive fashionably late. The room was already packed, but I wasn’t surprised; Liz was a doll and she had tons of friends.
I watched Liz from across the room before she spotted me. She looked stunning in a low-cut little black dress. Though I adored her, I have to admit I was a little jealous of her. She had it all: a doting husband, beautiful kids, a great job. I wondered if her life was as great on the inside as it looked to everyone else.
Liz was a little older and wiser and had become a good friend of mine at work. She had warned me not to get involved with Todd, but the great thing about her was that I never felt like she was condemning me. Liz looked so happy to be surrounded by friends and family; she was positively radiant.
I felt devious, but smug about my secret. I looked around at all her friends laughing, drinking, and dancing. I wondered if any of them was cheating on their spouses. I was sure some were; I just didn’t know which ones. I was grateful that I didn’t have to wear a scarlet letter, although some days I felt like such a tramp that I was sure it was written all over my face.
“Hey! Gabby!” Liz spotted me and came running over. She gave me a big hug and told me how happy she was to see me. She was one of those people who made everyone feel special, even me. Her friendship had been such a gift.
“Hey, beautiful. Happy birthday!”
“Thanks, I’m so glad you made it. Come with me. I want to introduce you to my friend Julia.”
Liz told Julia that I was also a Sig Kap Beta, and we had some laughs over sorority stuff. A group of us decided to do some shots, and I toasted Liz. It made my heart swell when I saw her crying happy tears. It was her night; I was glad she felt so loved.
I wondered if I would ever feel that way.
After a couple drinks, I told Julia about Todd. She wasn’t happily married either, and although she didn’t admit as much, I’d bet money she was messing around too. She had an “I’ve just been fucked” look about her, and I doubted her opera-loving hubby was giving her much to sing about.
I snuck out without saying goodbye. Liz was busy having a great time, and I didn’t want to have to answer any questions about where I was going or why I was leaving early.
JULIA
After a lovely dinner, Ty and I headed to Liz’s party. It was at Caramella’s, a swanky restaurant that had just opened downtown.
So that we wouldn’t raise eyebrows, I walked in while Tyrone waited outside for a few minutes; arriving together would have made people ask questions. I spotted Liz from across the room. She looked stunning in a simple black dress with a plunging neckline, a patent leather belt, and matching shoes.
“Liz! Happy birthday, darling.” I hugged her and gave her two air kisses.
“Julia! I’m so glad you made it. You look beautiful.”
“Thank you, Liz. You too. You look as good as you did while we were in college.”
We were fawning all over each other when one of Liz’s oldest friends came over to us. Classically beautiful and radiating sexuality, Maria knew how to turn heads. Her emerald green dress hit at about mid-thigh, and this girl had some legs! Her long, blonde hair was styled in perfect, loose curls, and her ample breasts were exposed tastefully.
“Julia, this is Maria. Maria, this is Julia.” I had heard so much about Maria I felt like I knew her. All of Liz’s high school stories were, “Maria and I played volleyball together and Maria and I got really drunk behind the school and our friends got arrested and Maria and I shared a prom house and blah blah blah.”
“So nice to meet you, Maria.” I went to shake her hand, but she pulled me in for a hug.
“Julia, give me a hug. I feel like I already know you. Liz has told me so much about you. All of her college stories are “Julia and I got drunk at Santa Fe and Julia and I stayed up all night studying and Julia was the most fun girl in my sorority.”
I laughed and felt happy that Liz had shared as much about me with Maria as she had told me about her. Something caught Liz’s eye, and she looked at the door. I turned around to see Ty walking in. My heart skipped a beat. I had to act natural and not let her know what was going on between us.
“Oh, good. Tyrone just got here!” Liz was clearly excited to see him.
He walked right toward us, but I looked down so my expression wouldn’t give anything away.
“Hey, here comes Tyrone. I bet he’s dying to meet you,” Liz whispered in my ear.
“Ty!” He gave her a huge hug and she was gushing.
“Happy birthday, gorgeous.”
“Thanks, Ty. I’m so glad you made it!” She faced me, and I looked up to find Ty already gazing at me.
“Ty, this is Julia. Julia, this is Ty.” I thought I was going to pass out trying so hard to act naturally.
Ty extended his hand to meet mine. I was fixated on his hand, remembering how incredible it felt exploring my body.
I managed to put my hand out and murmur, “Hi, nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too.” He sounded strong and confident.
Liz didn’t seem to notice the awkwardness, which was a huge relief. She spotted her friend Gabby and hurried over to greet her, leaving Ty and me alone.
“So just stand here, baby, and pretend we’re making small talk,” he instructed me.
I immediately relaxed. “Good plan, Ty. So how do you know Liz?” This was truly a question I didn’t know the answer to.
“We met at the gym a couple years ago. We kept running into each other, so I finally said hi, and we immediately hit it off. Now sometimes we work out together, grab lunch at the gym café, or go out for drinks. She is a great listener and has become a really good friend.”
I sighed. “Yeah, Liz is a great friend. We were in the same sorority, and we both went through a lot with boyfriends, classes, family, and work. I don’t know how I would have survived college without her.”
Ty smiled. “That sounds just like my Liz.”
“Your Liz?” Suddenly I got nervous that Ty had feelings for her.
He laughed deeply. “Relax, boo. Liz is like a sister to me. I can tell her anything, but I don’t like her like that. Anyway, she is happily married, and even if I was interested, which I am not, she would never even consider it.”
I breathed out strongly. “Phew, glad to hear. I’m going to mingle, grab a drink. What’s our plan?”
“I will leave around ten o’clock and wait for you at a restaurant halfway down the block. I think it’s called Neeters or something. Leave fifteen minutes later and meet me there. Text me when you’re coming out so I know to look for your beautiful face.”
“Do you think two hours is enough time? Is there some rule about how long you should stay at party?” I asked him.
“I don’t know, Julia. Be careful taking my advice. You know I have a different set of rules.”
“Oh, what are those?”
“That I have none.” We cracked up at the same time. I loved the rebellious side of him. No rules: that sounded amazing.
“Okay, then. I’m going to see who else I know here. See ya later, baby.” As I walked away, Ty gave me a wink. I walked away smiling, off in my own world, when I ran into Liz.
Liz had been watching us from across the room. “So it looks like you and Ty hit it off pretty well.” Her voice had a hint of sarcasm.
“Uh huh. Um, yeah. He seems nice.” I was
stuttering to get my words out.
Liz’s eyebrows got all scrunched up, and she scanned my face. Liz knew me too well; I should have predicted she would know something was up.
“Oh. My. God!” Her mouth lingered open after she said those words. Then her voice got very low and scolding. “Julia Goldenblume. Please, please tell me that I am wrong. Tell me that you and Ty are not involved.”
I bit the inside of my cheek, a bad habit I have had since I was a kid. I couldn’t say it out loud. I knew Liz would know I was lying anyway. My silence spoke volumes, but just to make sure she leaned in. “Well…”
“Holy shit, Julia. I cannot believe this! How long? Where, when?”
My eyes pleaded with hers not to be angry. “We became friends on Facebook the night after I met you for lunch to ask about him. We hit it off right away, and from there we started chatting, texting, talking. But yesterday was the first time we actually met in person.”
Liz was nodding as I was talking. “So you met yesterday, which means you drove down here and stayed the night at his place, didn’t you? He lives pretty close to here.”
I nodded, waiting for her to yell at me. “Uh huh,” was all I could get out.
Liz looked sad, but she straightened up and took a swig of her white wine. It appeared that, in true Liz form, she was trying not to pass judgment. A devious smile crossed her lips. “So, how was he?”
I had braced myself for a lecture and was so relieved when instead Liz asked me how it was. “He was fucking unbelievable.” I was so happy being able to tell someone. “Liz, I lost count of how many times we fucked.”
Her jaw dropped before she spoke. “Holy shit. Wow, amazing. I have to tell you though, I am not surprised. That man oozes sex from every pore in his body. That’s why I warned you not to become friends with him. I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist. Listen, I am not here to judge you, Julia. I know you’ve been unhappy and bored for a while now. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
Sex and the Social Network Page 13