“That’s it? You just came here to threaten me?” I challenge him. Anything to make him stay a minute longer.
“I’m not threatening you, Cara. The day I dragged your ass out of that container, you became mine. I told you once I wouldn’t let you leave. When I say something, I mean it. When I said you don’t get to fucking leave me I meant it. God help the man who touches you. You’re carrying my name. I’ll give you the time you need with this lady, but not with another man.”
“But you can have Jean?” I let the words fall between us. “I don’t even have a man in my life. I don’t want a fucking man near me! I… I–” My voice cuts out from all the emotions clouding my judgment.
“I don’t have her. I helped her. She was a friend. She’s gone. I was wrong to expect you to deal with another person so soon after what happened. I was wrong, and I’m sorry about that. But if it will make you feel better, I’ll say it: no matter if she walked naked through the damn house I would only see you.”
“Reaaally?” I stretch the word out. “You wouldn’t even take a peek? You’d just tell her to bugger on off?”
He looks away and swallows. This last month has not been kind to him, either. I didn’t know I could hurt him. He seemed so untouchable.
I walk to him and look up. I don’t remember him being this tall.
“You have to stop growing,” I try to joke the uneasiness between us away. “I know I’m unreasonable in my demands of you, but it’s one thing to help someone, and a totally different story when you give them a home that’s supposed to be my safe haven. She made it clear she wanted you and that she would have you. I felt like I was in the way.” I sigh and drink in the ink curling in his neck.
“So you left me unprotected,” he whispers. My eyes snap up, not sure what he means. “You didn’t have my back.”
My mouth drops open and I stare, not sure if he’s serious.
“Huh?”
“Don’t grunt at me, woman.” A slow smile curls around the corner of his mouth. “You left me to fend for myself. I know how to save and kill. How the hell do you expect me to fight off a woman?”
I narrow my eyes, hoping I look threatening. “I hope she gave you hell, Damian. You made her think she could. What was I supposed to do?” I huff. “Scratch her eyes out? I’m not into cat fights.”
“You could’ve shot her,” he offers.
“Seriously,” I scoff, “you bring them home, and I shoot them. What a great pair we’d make.”
“An unbeatable pair,” he says, and he steps closer. My bravery fizzles to nothing but a puff of smoke. “I love it when you get all angry.” He reaches for me, and I melt into his touch when his hand cups my face. “Can this woman you’re living with cook?” he asks.
“Yeah, she whips up bread from scratch.”
“Then eat.” He leans down and brushes his lips against my temple. “You’re fading away. I won’t have you starving.” He takes a cell out and holds it to me. “Phone me when you’re ready to come home.”
I take it and swallow back the tears. He came to tell me he’d always be there. He walks out of the room, and a part of me wants to run after him. He’s giving me space so I can find myself. Damian has my back while I get to be with Annie. I sigh and wonder why I feel like crying. I should feel at peace now.
CHAPTER 13
DAMIAN
I just had to see her up close. I drive back to the motel I’m staying at. I won’t leave until she tells me to.
The month we’ve been apart has not changed a thing. It has only made me miss Cara.
Leah was the last woman I loved. I don’t think I’m capable of loving someone again. But if there’s a possibility of a future with a woman by my side, that woman will be Cara.
There are so many reasons why it has to be Cara, but the main one is because of her inner strength. Every day that she wakes up, choosing to live, is a day that she won the battle. She’s fighting back. She’s not letting what happened beat her down. She’s doing what Leah couldn’t.
CARA
I stare at the phone. It has one number on it – his number – and I know if I phone it, I’ll hear his voice. I know if I ask, he’ll come get me.
I haven’t told Annie, but I think she suspects something is up. It’s been five days since he came. Five days of tossing and turning and tonight is no different.
I sneak outside and close the door behind me so I won’t wake Annie. The stars are clear and the nights are getting warmer. I walk a small distance from the house, so the porch light fades some, making the sky clearer.
There’s a slight breeze, ruffling my hair and the nightgown I have on. Annie insists every woman has to have a nightgown. She makes them so big that I feel lost in them. They just hang straight down from my shoulders, and most nights, I get twisted up in them.
The cell vibrates and I shriek, dropping it. I stare stunned at the glowing screen. My heart races as I pick it up. It shows that I have a message, and I press the button to open it.
‘Go inside.’
I read it over and over and over until the words blur. It vibrates again, and my fingers get all twisted to press the right button.
Go inside before I kidnap you.
My head snaps up as I look frantically around. He’s here. He sees me. It’s dark out, and frustration spills into me. He can’t be this close and I can’t see him.
I press reply and type as fast as I can.
Where are you?
The response comes seconds later.
Not at home with you.
I press my forehead to the cell and moan. This is torture. The cell vibrates.
Now if we were home, I’d be breathing in that moan.
My breathing hitches and I glance around again.
“Damian,” I whisper, not that I’ll wake Annie. She sleeps like the dead.
There are no sounds. Even the crickets have gone quiet. I strain my ears to listen for him. I close my eyes to try to feel where he is.
And then I feel his warmth, behind me. I take the step back, right into him and my body melts. I reach for him as he moves around me.
My hands slip around his neck, and my heart starts to beat violently. I don’t know what’s happening between us, but it’s the first time in a long time that I feel something other than despair or disgust.
I lift myself a little higher by standing on my toes, but before I can do something stupid, his head snaps up. He rips his body away from mine, and he turns his back on me.
“Stay behind me. Don’t get in my way.” The words rip through me.
His hand moves in behind his back, and for a stupid moment I think he’s reaching for me, but then the metal reflects in the moonlight, and my world stops spinning.
“Unless one of you get visitors at two am that I’m not aware of, we might have a bit of a problem,” he says, sounding way too calm.
“No visitors,” I whisper hoarsely.
“Get down.” He glances back at me. “Fuck, you’re wearing white. You’re like a damn glowing sign out here,” he snaps.
I hunch down. I can’t take the gown off. There’s not a chance of that happening. I huddle behind his legs and close my eyes like the coward I am.
A horrible scream echoes through the night. “Annie!” I yell. I dart up and run. The nightgown pools around my knees in my full out sprint to get to her. I’m a coward if it comes to my own life, but not hers.
I slam the front door open and grab the broom she sweeps the porch with. I storm through the house searching for her.
A man has her by her throat, shouting demands in her face. I swing my arm back, and then I slam the broom as hard as I can against his back. He lets her go and she sags to the floor, gasping for air.
The man swings around, shock registering on his face. His face is set in a dark scowl as he lifts his arm, and then I see the gun. I hear a gunshot right outside the house, and I lift the broom to smack the man again.
I hear two loud shots.
I he
ar Annie scream.
I hear the broom fall to the floor with a clatter, and then I see the man fall to the floor.
My eyes find Annie, and I manage a smile. She reaches for me with a trembling hand, her face a picture of horror.
A rattling cough overwhelms me. I cough up something horrible, and I try to catch it, so I don’t make a mess on the floor.
“I’m sorry, Annie,” I choke the words out, and then all my strength fades. Arms grab me from behind as my legs give way.
“I have you. You’re safe.” His voice comes to me, and then the pain follows.
It feels like something is shredding my insides to pieces. It’s a cold, sharp pain that robs me of my breath.
“It hurts, Damian.” I start to shiver, as his hand presses down hard on my stomach.
“I know. I know,” he says and his voice breaks.
I want to cry, but I don’t. My mind grows foggy as if I’m about to fall asleep.
I can hear Annie’s weeping.
But I can’t feel Damian’s hands as he presses down on me.
“I… I” I try to tell them that I love them, so they’ll know how grateful I am for them both, but a horrible garbled sound overwhelms me, and then everything fades to black.
DAMIAN
“Cara!” Her face is ghostly white. I feel her body go limp under my hands. “Fuck. did you reach them?” I yell at the crying woman.
“They’re coming,” she sobs. Sitting down next to Cara, she starts to brush hair away from her face. “It’s going to be okay, Honey,” she keeps saying through sobs.
I don’t dare lift my hands from the wound. She’s losing too much blood! Fuck.
Fear is not a feeling I’m used to. I hate fear, it makes me feel weak. I drop my chin to my chest and close my eyes as the woman who has finally stirred something in me bleeds to death.
Minutes drag by agonizingly slow as her blood seeps through my fingers. When I hear the sirens outside, I want to cry with relief.
Williams comes in first, followed by paramedics. I only move away when the one paramedic starts nudging my hands away from the wound.
“Don’t let her die,” I hiss at the man.
I watch as they work on Cara. When they wheel her out to the ambulance, Williams walks over to me.
“Who are you?” he asks, and I can see the anger burning in his eyes.
I look down at my bloody hands. I’ve had blood on my hands a lot, but never the blood of someone I care for.
“I’m …” I clear my throat and look back at the man in front of me. “Damian Weston,” I let the name slip over my dry lips.
“Weston? You’re related to Karen?” He takes out a notebook and starts to write.
“Yeah.” I clear my throat again and then say something I never thought I’d hear coming from my lips. “She’s my wife.”
CARA
When I open my eyes, I see white. White walls, white sheets, there’s just too much white.
“Where am I?” I croak, but there’s no one to answer me.
The fogginess starts to clear, and I start to remember the shooting.
Annie. Damian. Are they okay?
I grab hold of the IV stand next to my bed and pull myself up. Using it as a crutch, I stumble out of the room.
“Mrs. Weston! You shouldn’t be up. You’re almost see-through, you’re so pale,” I hear panicked voices, and I see a blur of two figures moving before everything goes dark again.
I feel hot tears running into my hair as I wake up. There’s an excruciating, piercing pain in my abdomen. I try to move so I can curl up, but the pain intensifies, and I whimper.
“Cara?” I feel hands move up my arms, and they frame my face, and then I see Damian. He looks awful, worse than before. “Cara,” he says again.
“It hurts really bad,” I croak. “Make it go away.” I don’t even have the strength to lift my hands.
“I will.” There’s promise in his voice, and it already makes me feel better. I hear a beeping start above my head. I hear him talk, but I don’t listen as I drift off to sleep again.
The next time I wake up, Damian’s staring at me, and for a moment I think he’s fallen asleep with his eyes open, but then he blinks.
“How are you feeling?” he whispers as he moves closer to the bed.
“Alive.” It’s the only word I can think of. “Annie? Is she okay?”
“She’s just fine. She’s gone home but said she’d be back soon,” he says and then his face goes real serious.
This is where I hear it for running into the house to help Annie. This is where I hear how stupid I was. I’m surprised that I can remember it all so crystal clear.
“Cara.” He comes to sit on the bed and leans in real close, his elbows rest on either side of my head. I won’t be able to get away from his words as his face is inches from mine. Too late do I realize he’s trying to give me strength when he says, “The bullet hit real low.”
He pauses as if he’s waiting for me to take it in. As if he’s waiting for me to blame him for not being fast enough.
“The bullet hit…” He takes a breath, and it really sounds like he can’t find the words. Then he just spits out the words. “I can’t say it. I’m sorry.” I stare at him, and I’m surprised by how gutted he looks.
“You can’t say what?” I try to encourage him while I’m getting more nervous.
“There was a lot of damage. You were out of it for a couple of days,” he whispers, and I can see it’s hard for him to keep his eyes on mine. “The baby is gone.”
“Oh.” I try to think what would be a good thing to say to him. I see the hurt on his face, and I say the first thing that comes to mind. “I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head. “Why are you apologizing to me?” His hands are shaking as he caresses my hair.
“I don’t…” The words trail away as the full impact of what he just said hits hard. “The baby … my baby.” My voice grows thick with tears. “I lost my baby?” My voice cracks with emotions I wasn’t expecting to feel.
I lost my baby. I didn’t even have a chance to decide whether I wanted a baby. It’s just another decision forced on me.
Tears spill over my cheeks and Damian’s arms slip in under me. He holds me to his chest as I cry for yet another life that was taken from me.
When the tears stop flowing, Damian moves back to the chair. He holds one of my hands, but he doesn’t say anything else.
The familiar emptiness I haven’t felt in a while sinks into my soul. It weighs a ton. Who would’ve thought emptiness could weigh so much?
How much pain can one human being take before they just die?
A heavy silence lies between us, but I’m still grateful for Damian being here. Once again, he is my pillar of strength.
I’ve been in the hospital for almost a week. I hate hospitals.
Annie comes to see me in the early hours of the morning. She holds me tight and then whispers, “Jason is going to come ask questions today. I can’t hold him off any longer. We told him it was a break-in gone bad. You just tell him that, and everything will be fine.”
Annie stays by my side when Jason comes to see me. Damian is with him, and both their faces are set in a dark scowl. “Let me guess,” Jason says angrily, “it was a break-in gone wrong?”
My eyes dart to Damian’s where he’s standing behind Jason. Damian nods at me, and I start nodding too. “Yeah.” The one word is hoarse.
“Yeah?” Jason raises an eyebrow, and then he tucks the small notepad back in his pocket. He takes a deep breath, and his eyes find mine again. “I’ll make you a deal.” He steps back so he can see both Damian and me. “You both leave and never come back to my town, and I’ll let it go as a robbery gone wrong.”
I open my mouth to protest when Damian moves forward. He comes to stand next to me, and then he gives Jason a look that would scare the bravest of men. “It’s a deal. As soon as my wife is released, we’ll leave your town.”
“No!” An
nie gets up, and her cheeks flush with anger. “You can’t tell them what to do!”
Jason shakes his head hard. “Annie, I promised Pete I’d look after you. I won’t break my promise to him. Trouble follows them, and I can’t just stand by while your life is in danger. Now, you can be angry at me all you want, but I’m not backing down on this.”
Jason nods at us. “As soon as you’re released, I want you gone.” With his cold words, he leaves.
I hold onto Annie’s hand, and I put a brave smile on my face. “You’ve been like a mother to me. Thank you so much for all you’ve done.”
Her chin trembles and she places a kiss to my forehead. “Don’t listen to the boy.” She gives my hand a squeeze and then she sets off after Jason.
“The doctor said you should be able to leave tomorrow or the day after, depending on the wound,” Damian says suddenly.
“What’s one day?” I look at the only person who hasn’t left me yet, not even when I shoved him away. “Take me home, please… now.”
He rubs a hand over his beard, and his eyes dart to the door. “Fuck this. Let’s go home. Let me just get a nurse.”
He walks out of the room to go find a nurse while I struggle into a sitting position. There’s a hollow pain in my abdomen that serves as a reminder of what I’ve lost.
When Damian stalks back into the room, there’s an upset nurse behind him. “Sir, she can’t leave without the doctor saying so.”
Damian swings back to her, and I see fear flitting across her features. “Take out that IV, or I’ll do it myself.”
Her lips set in a thin line as she comes over to me. I swing my legs off the bed, and then she places a hand on my knee. “Wait for the doctor, please.”
I smile as best I can and then shake my head. “I want to go home. Just take it out and leave. Say you didn’t see us.”
“Just so you know,” she huffs, clearly upset with us, “I’m not agreeing with this.” She pulls the needle from my arm, and I wince, which makes Damian take a step closer to me.
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