“Jason?” But his voice came from much further away.
Jason? Even Olivia sounded muffled, but he segmented his mind on purpose, whatever was lighting him up would not be allowed through the veil he drew between them. He sent her a request for patience and studied the strange phenomenon. He could see every mind, clearly, identified them. Even the wolves and…
Kid. “Kid’s home,” he exhaled and started laughing all over again. The thought of his brother showed him exactly where he was in relation to the ranch, and he’d just crossed over the border.
Jed’s relief was palpable. “Finally.”
Testing the oddness of the mental map he could see, he thought of little Cait and zeroed in on her. She was with Delilah and Buck. He thought of Jo and the moment he found her at the school, scolding Ben who’d gone cat in a sulk. Another laugh worked its way loose and he shook his head. It was amazing. He could hear them clearly if he focused, but the noise didn’t drown him out.
What the hell?
“How did you know Kid was home?” Jed asked.
“I have no idea,” Jason admitted and gave his astonished father a wide grin. “But let’s get this visit over with and find out.” Olivia… He didn’t have to reach far at all, her mind welcomed him. Kid is home, wait for me before you see him.
A question niggled in her mind, but she didn’t rebuke his request. All right. I am in Haven with Mariska for a few hours. Should I just stay here until you come back?
Please. He trusted his brother, he did. But he wanted to introduce him to Olivia himself—he wanted to see for himself before he had them in the same place. Particularly if Kid decided to attack him again.
You’re worrying again. The prim little mental slap made him smile wider. Do what you need to do. I’ll be waiting.
Music to his ears. As soon as we’ve looked in on the major and paid our respects.
Adjusting to the information flow took some time, but he managed to block everyone enough that their awareness might ping him if something major happened but he wasn’t sitting in on their thoughts like some kind of mad voyeur. His father was even more eager than Jason to get home and see Kid, but they took care of business. Jed Kane understood politics and negotiation better than anyone Jason had ever met, and no matter how quickly they wanted to wrap things up—when the major invited them to a meal, they stayed for it.
Making peace meant making nice and in the long run, they wanted people they knew in control around at the fort. That meant it was hours later, and well after dark before they made it home. As promised, Olivia waited for them at Micah and Jo’s house. His brother and sister-in-law had headed up to the big house to see Kid.
“They really wanted me to go, but Micah seemed to understand when I insisted that I wanted to wait for you.” She sat nestled between him and his father.
“You could have told them I asked you to wait.” Jason ignored his father’s arch look. In this, he didn’t feel the need to explain.
Olivia shrugged and leaned her head against his shoulder. “It was fine.” A yawn punctuated her words. “Of course that was before you decided to be so late and I missed supper.”
Teasing underscored the words and Jason pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Miss Annabeth always leaves snacks for those who didn’t make dinner. I’m not fooled. Jo would never have left you at the house without something to eat.”
“True.” Olivia grinned. “She made meat pies earlier today and left two out for me.” Olivia loved the British dish and Jason grinned. By the time they arrived at the barn, Jason sent his father up to the house and Olivia stayed with him. But instead of going directly to see Kid, his father diverted toward the bench set near Miss Molly’s grave.
Sam came down to help him unhitch the horses and followed Jason’s gaze. “He all right?”
“I don’t know.” His father had been quiet since Jason announced Kid’s return, and now that he thought about it, he’d been distant and troubled at the fort. “Kid at the house?”
They paused to help Olivia down from the wagon and settled her out of the way so they could get the horses sorted out. “He looks good. And he’s waiting to talk to you.”
Surprise rocked him for the second time in the day. Olivia’s lips curved into a knowing smile and he didn’t need her Told you to tell him what she was thinking.
“All right then, let’s get these horses stabled and the wagon up.”
“I can do that,” Sam offered. “Unless you want a mediator there.” The casual offer held no judgment and Jason frowned. Instead of leading the horse down the aisle, Sam met his questioning gaze frankly. “The last time you two were in the same place, it caused a lot of bloodshed. I’m damn happy he’s home, and I’m damn happy you’re here, too. But I want you two to make nice. So if that means I have to knock your heads together, I will.”
If he was reading his brother’s attitude correctly, then, “You already asked him.” It wasn’t a question.
“He said you’d both be fine, and that he does want to talk to you.”
That decided him. “Then we’ll trust him.”
Sam nodded slowly. “All right, take your wife up to the house. I got the horses. And no, no one told him you married.”
Jason grinned and tipped his hat to his brother. Collecting Olivia, he walked slowly with an eye to the path to make sure nothing would trip her up.
“I’m proud of you,” she said in a gentle tone that warmed him from the inside out.
“Because I’m going to trust my brother?” The closer they came to the house, the more his guard went up. Deciding to trust Kid and actually trusting him were two different things. Sam was right, they had their differences and if Kid tried to rob him of his feelings, well—he wouldn’t be as nice about it this time. Not with Olivia so deeply entrenched within him. He couldn’t afford to be.
She squeezed his arm. “No, for trusting yourself.”
Kid walked out of the house and toward their father. Jason paused and knew from Kid’s sure steps that he hadn’t noticed Jason or Olivia. His father and Kid had a lot to discuss and Olivia needed to eat.
“You were right,” he told her in the sitting room after fetching her a sandwich and a drink.
“I usually am.” She smiled almost serenely and he chuckled.
“You’re also a brat.”
“I am that, too.” But her grin beckoned him and he kissed her lightly before sitting down and nudging her plate.
“Eat.”
“Tell me what I was right about.”
“About the fact that we’re brothers and that I have to be open with him. Shutting him off protected him in some ways, protected me, but it also let this distance grow so wide that we’re virtual strangers. I need to get to know him again and not assume that I do know him.”
Olivia nodded. “And for that, you will need to do it alone.”
He frowned. “You’re a part of my life, he’ll accept that. Hell, he’ll probably like you better than me. Everyone else does.”
“That sounds suspiciously like self-pity. Who are you and what have you done with my husband?”
Hmm, I know better. He wasn’t falling for her game. She knew exactly how to jar him from his moods, but he needed to be on guard. At least until he was certain.
“You and your brother need time and it is late.” She stopped and turned her head toward the door. “They’re coming.”
He rose automatically and set her empty plate aside. Without even being conscious of it, he’d put himself between her and the door. It was a moment of truth and he had to be ready for anything. It didn’t matter that he’d told himself they were brothers. He knew without a shadow of a doubt if Kid attacked him this time, he could not—would not—let it go.
Kid’s step slowed as he walked into the room and Jason met his gaze evenly. Jed paused, looking every year of his age and glanced between his sons and then to Olivia. “Would you like me to escort you to your room?”
“I would.” She rose
and Jason shifted, taking her elbow and handing her off to his father. It will be all right, she assured him. Wake me when you come to bed.
He considered telling her no, he would let her sleep. But that only invited her to offer the challenge of a ‘fight.’ Depending on how the rest of the night went, he might need her to fight with him in the morning. Sleep well.
Exhaling slowly, he shored up his defenses and kept a watchful mental eye on Olivia, but didn’t speak until she and their father had ascended the stairs. “Is he okay?”
“He will be,” Kid answered and closed the doors. “He’s missing Ma.”
Wariness returning in force, Jason diverted toward the bar. Alcohol didn’t do much, but it might blunt his nerves. “He missed you, too. Drink?”
“No. I doubt alcohol is something I’ll indulge in anymore.” Something in his response triggered an internal alarm in Jason.
Their gifts were different and while alcohol really didn’t do much for him, not really—maybe it affected Kid differently. “Does it bother you? To drink it? I didn’t know that.”
Kid shrugged and walked over to find that Miss Annabeth had left food under a silver cover on another sideboard. She did that when anyone in the family hadn’t made it to the dinner table. After taking two and pouring himself a glass of water, he carried his bounty over to sit. “I don’t know if it would bother me, but I used alcohol before to numb myself. I don’t think I can afford to be numb anymore.”
Jason poured a measure of the amber liquid into a glass. “I never thought of it that way. Alcohol doesn’t affect my abilities. Sometimes I wish it would.” He tacked on the last as an afterthought. The awkwardness of it wasn’t lost on him and he swirled the drink around in the glass.
It will be all right. Olivia’s voice floated through him, a reminder and then she withdrew, deliberately turning her attention away. God, he loved her.
“Why?” Kid studied him, an open question in his expression.
“I can’t go numb.” Jason took the time to get a sandwich for himself. It kept him busy and gave him time to check the barrier around his mind, and Olivia’s. Finally, he took a seat. “Not for long anyway.”
The information seemed to surprise Kid. “At all?”
“Rarely.” If ever. Jason took a bite of the sandwich and then washed it down with a swallow of the drink. “But I find I like the flavor and the illusion it offers anyway.” He’d tried, more than once, after he’d thought Olivia lost to deaden the pain in the bottom of a bottle. It hadn’t worked.
The silence stretched out between them and, for the second time in as many weeks, he found himself at a loss for words. He’d wanted to talk to him for a long time and, now that Kid seemed ready to hear him, he didn’t know what to say. “Kid—”
“Jason—” Kid swallowed a long drink of water and put down his cup. “You’ve wanted to talk longer. Go ahead.”
Accepting the invitation for what it was, Jason met his gaze head on. “You were angry with me for keeping my secret.”
It wasn’t a question, but Kid nodded. “I was. I don’t think I am anymore. But I do want to know why.”
The unusual nature of his response worried Jason and he studied his brother. “Why aren’t you angry anymore?”
“Control. I know myself better. I know what my gift does and I understand it. It doesn’t make the anger I had lighter than it was, but it gave me a new perspective. We were both kids, Jason. I didn’t understand what was happening, not really. Until the last few months, I didn’t even understand how far it had gone.” The more he spoke, the more noticeable the changes were. Gone was the gaunt hollow around his eyes and the volatility of a wild, unpredictable youth.
“I think I followed that.” Convoluted logic aside, it did make sense. So, the answer he couldn’t give the boy, he offered the man. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to be in your head. I didn’t want to be in anyone’s head. And I couldn’t stay out of them. I would talk to someone and then I’d hear them and I’d answer, only they hadn’t said anything. I never knew when they’d actually said something or when I’d simply heard their thoughts.” He tapped the side of his head and drained his glass.
Kid froze and his eyes widened. “Could you hear me?”
“You?” Jason went in search of a refill because they were walking into perilous territory.
“Me, what?” Kid prompted.
The emotional powder keg of resentment and misunderstanding waited between them—all it needed was a match. How did he explain to Kid what he’d done without hurting him? Or set him off in some way? The last thing Jason wanted to do was injure his brother, but the truth—the truth cut in a brutal way. “I have no way to say it without the risk of upsetting you.”
“Jason, it’s just you and me here. I want to understand. I can forgive the brother who was every bit the child I was. But I need to be your brother again and to do that I need to understand.”
He wanted to believe him. He needed to. To be trusted—he had to trust. Bracing on all fronts, he risked the barest of touches to Olivia’s mind. She was asleep. Drawing the barricade back up, he closed her off. If Kid lashed out, nothing would wash through to touch her. Turning, he faced his brother.
“I couldn’t keep you out.” He fought to keep the accusation from his voice. “You were the loudest of any one and you…you were younger and everything bothered you. Everything. When I was old enough to really understand, I knew I’d been the worst kind of brother, but all I wanted was for the noise to stop.”
“When you left, it was better.” Slack jawed for a heartbeat, Kid rose, but instead of anger or resentment, Jason saw wonder on his face. “When I crossed the border onto our land—I felt the barrier. It—came to life. I don’t know how else to explain. One minute, I was me and then I was everyone and everything, it flooded through me.”
The story echoed the moment the bell rang for Jason and explained how he’d known Kid was home. Like Jason, Kid had been able to tell where everyone on the ranch was, and more—who they were as if they all projected an emotional signature.
“That would make a certain amount of logical sense.” It explained why the ranch had always been difficult for him, why he was better at keeping the mental voices at bay in town, or with Olivia. He understood why she gave him peace, but on the ranch, if the barrier magnified his ability and Kid’s, no wonder they’d clashed. “The first year after the voices started, Pa took me on that trip to San Antonio. Even in the larger town, my mind was much quieter. The further away I was from family, the quieter still it became.”
“So you found opportunities to leave…”
“Every chance I could.” Meeting Kid’s gaze, Jason felt the stirrings of true understanding.
His brother blew out a breath and old hurt settled on his face. “But later, when we were older?”
“You seemed to have it under control and I found a way to block the voices, even when I was here. I could only take being on the ranch for so long before I had to go again. Pa’s work kept me busy, education kept me busy…” Killing kept him busy. And then he hadn’t wanted Kid to see it. Could he tell him that? “It never occurred to me to see if you weren’t okay. You always had some woman or scheme or place to be.”
“Grown men aren’t supposed to be this foolish.” Kid scrubbed a hand over his face, chagrinned.
“According to Olivia, it is the only thing we men excel at.” He spared another mental touch, his wife’s mind continued to sleep.
“Hey, who is Olivia? She looked familiar, but I didn’t get any kind of a read off of her and there’s something wrong…”
Returning his focus to Kid, he eyed his brother. “She’s blind. And she’s mine, so don’t try to read her.” That he’d already admitted he couldn’t eased a second worry within Jason. His shields would protect her, too.
Suspicion filled Kid’s eyes. “Are you two married?”
Warmth, pride and possession spread through Jason and he didn’t try to stifle them.
“Yes. Don’t be angry with anyone because I asked them to let me tell you.”
“When the hell did you get married?” He’d crossed the room before he finished speaking and embraced Jason.
The swiftness of the gesture and the contact rattled Jason on a deep level. Unease flooded him and his defenses went on alert, even the temperature in the room began to drop and it took Jason a moment to wrestle it under control. He pulled away after an awkward pat. “A few weeks ago. Did they tell you everything will be safe for your Evelyn? The men in question have been disposed of.”
“Touch makes it harder to keep me out, doesn’t it?” The piercing insight didn’t make the result any less worrisome.
But he refused to lie—not this time—and nodded once. “You have a gift that increases with contact.”
“I also have shields now.” Kid extended his hand, confidence practically radiating out of him. The desire to trust his brother’s word and belief was a hard knot in his gut. But he’d come this far. Accepting his hand, Jason waited. Nothing, not even the slightest pull or tug. His shields remained undisturbed. Yet, the sense of him was there, but it didn’t try to invade, or grasp or pull.
Relieved, and impressed, he studied the change. “You do have shields. It’s there, a hum. I know it’s you, but you’re not broadcasting.”
“They did tell me what you did.” Kid didn’t let him go. “Thank you. I don’t know what it cost you, but thank you for protecting Evelyn.”
“I did it for both of you.” And he meant it, because Kid—no matter how improved—was not a killer. He’d never need to be, not when Jason possessed the power to intervene. He released his hand and withdrew a step. The accord, the acceptance—it was there. “It needed to be done and we have other matters to discuss…including your Evelyn’s ability.”
“Agreed. We need to discuss all of that, but not tonight. Tonight I want to get to know my brother again. I want to know about you and your Olivia. Tell me about her.” Earnest interest—and something more—shined in Kid’s face. It was an offer of friendship and the urge to keep Olivia close, to keep her a secret and be selfish with her—he couldn’t do that and accept the offer at the same time.
Wanted: Fevered or Alive Page 31