Defying the Alpha

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Defying the Alpha Page 7

by Emilia Rose


  When we turned a corner, I stopped us dead in our tracks. Kylo stood alone, staring out at the nearly endless garden and swirling his drink around in his hand, thumb brushing against some petals and muscles flexed against his thin gray button-up shirt.

  My wolf purred again, and I sucked in a breath.

  This entire time, she hadn’t been enjoying the sight. She had been bringing me to him.

  “Isabella,” Kylo said without turning around. “Miss me so much that you decided to come find me?”

  “I’m not here for you,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

  As he turned, my breath caught in the back of my throat. Eyes so golden, brown hair blowing softly in the wind, early morning sun bouncing off his sculpted face, he smiled so genuinely at me. “Your wolf brought you to me.”

  “No, she didn’t.” Lie. “I am here because I need answers to my questions.”

  When he stepped toward me, I moved back, out of fear that my wolf would react too submissively to him. She had fallen under his little trance one too many times, and I would not drop my guard again. Not after Roman’s warning of him having the flower that could kill me.

  “Scared of me now?” he asked, brow arched.

  “I’m not scared of you.” I tightened my jaw and narrowed my eyes. “I’m furious that you’d keep the Wolf’s Flower from me, the one thing that could kill me within seconds. Did you plan on getting close to me, so you could kill me with it?”

  “Did Roman tell you that I was going to use it on you?” After grabbing my glass from my hand and placing both of ours on a stone bench, he crossed his huge arms over his chest. “If I wanted you dead, I would’ve killed you myself. There have been plenty of times that I could’ve snatched you by the throat”—he grabbed the front of my throat with one large, callous hand—“and ripped it right out.” He squeezed my neck lightly, making me feel so light-headed yet so … so … exhilarated.

  “So you do have the flower.”

  He brushed his thumb over my jaw. “Of course I have the flower. I’m not going to let Roman kill me with it. He doesn’t know how powerful it truly is, that if you even touch it the wrong way, it could blow you to pieces.”

  Clenching my jaw, I pushed my hands against his chest yet didn’t shove him away.

  Touch him more, my wolf said. Touch all of him.

  “I brought it for you,” Kylo said.

  “To try to blow me to pieces?” I asked, compensating for all the innate desire my wolf felt for him. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to trust him. It was that he wasn’t supposed to make me feel this way. I didn’t like it, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to be blindly tricked, like Ryker had done to me.

  “There are more pleasurable ways to destroy you.”

  “Like rip my throat out?” I asked.

  He growled under his breath. “Like thrusting you against that stone bench and taking every fucking inch of your body, princess.” He breathed deeply in my ear, and I shuddered. “Like spreading your legs and enjoying my fucking breakfast.” He brushed his nose against my jaw. “Like sinking my teeth into your neck and marking you.”

  My heart raced at the thought.

  Marking me? Marking me? No.

  He shouldn’t even suggest such a thing. Maybe he wanted to because it would hurt Roman for taking away his mate. A mate for a mate, just like an eye for an eye, the same side of the coin.

  No, my wolf said, he doesn’t want to hurt Roman. He wants us. He’s always wanted us.

  I thrust him away from me, my mind fuzzy with something that seemed like memories of us together at some point.

  We don’t want him, I said to my wolf, but it was a lie. We never have.

  Suddenly, the sky darkened for a moment, and a bright ball of white light floated down from the sky, slowly transforming into a humanlike woman. My breath caught in the back of my throat at the way her brown curls drifted in the wind, the way her piercing blue eyes could see right through me, and the way soft white light radiated off her being.

  The Moon Goddess.

  She floated in the air above us and stared down at the entire estate. “Children,” she said, angelic voice delicate yet stoic. “Thank you for attending my celebration for you and your wonderful abilities. Born under the Wolf Moon, you all hold a special place in my heart. I have put you through hard times to make you stronger and have given you the power to protect others when they’re not strong enough to protect themselves.

  “Today, tomorrow, and Sunday are days to celebrate you. One weekend, out of the many, when you have time for yourself, when divine law kicks into place and you can rest and rejuvenate … so please, please do so. I look forward to chatting with you all soon.”

  After she descended onto the ground somewhere in the forest, I stood there, shocked. Rumor had had it that she’d be here. I just … I hadn’t known what I expected her to be like. I had only ever dreamed of meeting her one day, and that day had finally come.

  The Moon Goddess herself—not the first divine wolves—was celebrating with us, and I had so many questions that I needed answered.

  “Stay away from me,” I said through my teeth at Kylo. Then, I hurried through the garden toward the rest of the warriors and to our Moon Goddess.

  He chuckled behind me, his ravishing voice drifting through the garden. “It’s always you who finds me, Isabella.”

  Chapter 15

  Isabella

  After managing to avoid Kylo for the rest of Friday, I sat with a handful of the other warriors around a blazing bonfire on Saturday night. I hadn’t even gotten a chance to talk to the Moon Goddess yesterday, as too many others had had her attention and I’d wanted to keep major distance from that cruel alpha who kept giving me those eyes from across the tulip garden.

  “My wolf has been on edge lately,” Darnell, a Wolf Moon warrior, said, scruffing his boot against the dirt. An agonizing frown was splayed across his face, and he choked back some whimpers. “The anniversary of my family’s death is approaching.”

  I glanced from him to Kylo, who placed a sympathetic hand on Darnell’s shoulder. Kylo looked my way, and I turned back to the fire with a frown. There were so many hard stories that I had listened to for the past hour and a half. Warriors spoke of the hardest, most demanding battles in and out of the forest. Some were physical, but most were mental wars.

  “Humans killed them during the full moon, hunted us like it was a fucking game that night …” Darnell continued, shaking his head. “I lost my mate and my babies.” He let out a quiet sob. “Twin boys. They were only seven months.”

  I closed my eyes as a tear slid down my cheek. Thank the Goddess I didn’t have a harrowing story like that. If Mom, Dad, or Roman died, I wouldn’t be able to deal with it. It was hard enough that Luna Raya had been killed by a group of filthy rogues.

  After Darnell finished, another warrior wolf named Connor looked over at Kylo. “What’s your story?”

  Almost unintentionally, I leaned forward and directed all my attention to Kylo. Maybe this would give me insight on what had happened between him and Roman that made them hate each other. Sure, Roman had taken his mate, but there must’ve been a reason why, right?

  Kylo stared into the fire. “Seven years ago, I killed my father for raping a woman who was supposed to be his ally.” He didn’t look up, didn’t shudder in disgust, didn’t show even an ounce of emotion, except his eyes glistened with tears.

  Kylo had killed his own father?

  Strong male, my wolf said. Protective partner.

  “At one point, I had looked up to him,” Kylo continued with torment in every word. “I thought the way he treated my mother was how every man treated his mate …” He parted his lips and then pressed them back together, as if he had changed his mind and didn’t want to speak about the horrors he’d faced as a child.

  Jazmine, another warrior, nudged him. “Go on. Nobody here will judge you.”

  Kylo took a deep breath and clenched his jaw. “He called he
r a whore, a bitch, a slut, any name in the fucking book. He treated her like shit. And for the longest time, I treated my mate like that. She was young and impressionable, not even eighteen. I thought that was what men did, and then she left me. Around the same time, I found out that my dad had raped Alpha Roman’s mom, and I lost it.”

  My eyes widened, pure shock darting through my body.

  Oh my fucking Goddess.

  Kylo’s dad had raped Luna Raya.

  A tear slid down Kylo’s cheek as his lip twitched. Even from feet away, I felt every ounce of the insurmountable pain weighing on his shoulders at the loss of a mate and the knowledge of his once-poor character. This must’ve been why Roman had wanted to keep me from Kylo.

  Kylo paused for a few moments, pressed his lips together, and stood. “That’s all.”

  When Jazmine started to tell her story, I couldn’t listen. My mind was too caught up with Kylo. He had killed his own father, driven away his mate, and been holding back all this shame.

  Walking back into the forest alone, Kylo left us.

  Follow him, my wolf said. He is hurting.

  Jazmine looked between us and gave me that it’s okay to go comfort him look. I smiled at her, nodded, and followed after Kylo through the woods and into the garden. Moonlight bounced off the pink petals, giving the estate a rosy glow.

  “Kylo,” I called. “Kylo, wait.” I grabbed his wrist and pulled him back. “Stop, please.”

  Though I didn’t expect him to stop for me, he paused and looked down at me with hurt in his brown eyes. I had never seen him look so vulnerable and so utterly broken. He was always Kylo, the sexy, strapping alpha who wanted me.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I didn’t want to admit it aloud.” He sat down on a stone bench. “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect your pack from the rogue attack that killed Roman’s parents. If I hadn’t been so angry with my father and my mother for not telling me about it sooner, I would’ve been there to stop it. Your luna would still be alive.”

  “It’s not your fault,” I said, sitting down next to him and placing my hand on his knee. “It was the rogues who killed her. Nobody could’ve known that they were going to attack.”

  “But still …” His voice was quiet. “I would’ve been there.”

  After a few moments of silence, Kylo bumped his knee against mine and gazed out at the thousands of tulips. “You scare me,” he said quietly over the slight hum of the warriors at the waterfall. “Every time I think about you, I feel the same intense desire for you that I felt with Scarlett. My wolf and I have grown, but I’m still terrified that I’m going to hurt you like I hurt her.” He rested his forearms on his knees and clenched his fists. “I want to stay away, but I can’t.”

  I scooted closer to him until our thighs brushed. “Why can’t you stay away?” I whispered.

  “Because, though I don’t like that you’re part of the Lycans, I value your strength and your commitment to making this world a better and safer place.” He softly shook his head and grabbed my fingers, intertwining them with his.

  The moonlight bounced off of his beautiful brown eyes, and all I wanted was to run my fingers up his neck and draw him closer to me.

  But I resisted.

  “I want you,” he said as his sweet pine scent drifted through my nostrils. He moved closer to me, his face inches from mine, and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. “And I don’t know why.”

  Giving in to my wolf, I rested my forehead against his. “What are you doing to me?” I asked, placing my fingers against his neck. Fuck staying away from him. I wanted him closer. So much closer.

  He grasped the sides of my face, his thumbs brushing against my jawbones. Foreign butterflies fluttered through my stomach, up my torso, down my arms and legs, until my entire body tingled. I hadn’t felt like this since Roman became my mate.

  “Goddess, Isabella,” he said, lifting my jaw. “I can’t stay away from you any longer.”

  Tilting his head to the side, he leaned in slowly. I dug my nails into my palms and told myself that I couldn’t betray Roman like this. Yet my wolf kept calling out for his wolf, begging me to let her feel his lips on hers again.

  Again.

  As if it had happened before in a past life.

  When his lips were millimeters from mine, I purred. Not my wolf. Me.

  Before he could even kiss me, he shuddered at the sound, his whole body shaking in pleasure. I could feel his wolf just underneath the surface, desperately clawing to get out, wanting to see me.

  The mate’s necklace that Roman had given me shifted on my neck, and I froze. This was wrong. What was my wolf thinking? What was I thinking? I shouldn’t be here. This shouldn’t be happening.

  Kylo leaned closer to me, about to kiss me, when I turned my head. He placed his lips on my right cheek, just the mere feeling making me shiver in delight. I didn’t know why I was reacting so strongly to him; I couldn’t understand it. Why did I want something sinister? He wasn’t my mate.

  After letting his lips linger on my skin, Kylo swore under his breath and pulled away. We stared at each other in silence, the only sound coming from the faint music at the party by the lake. For a few moments, his eyes shifting back and forth between his wolf and his human, then Kylo finally glanced away.

  I looked down at my feet and hugged my arms around my body, guilt washing over me like a tsunami. No matter how hard I tried, this feeling was just getting stronger. And now, I knew that it was more than just lust between us.

  My wolf really, truly craved a connection with him.

  “We can’t do this anymore,” I said. “I can’t go behind Roman’s back. I can’t keep lying to Roman or to myself like this. We are wrong.”

  He stayed quiet. “What’re you lying to yourself about?”

  Goddess, I hated saying it. I hated thinking it.

  “I like you,” I whispered, grasping his hand. “I like you so fucking much, and I don’t know how to make it stop.”

  “Why make it stop?” When he leaned closer, my wolf began to purr again. “All I know is that I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind. Every time I close my eyes. Every time I go for a run. Every time I fucking breathe, Isabella. It’s you.”

  I grasped his hands and stared into his brown eyes. “Because I have Roman.”

  Howls from other wolves echoed through the garden.

  I stood up. “I need this to stop, Kylo. I need to find out why I feel this way for you.” I led him in the direction of the waterfall, following the light to the Moon Goddess. “The Moon Goddess will help us understand.”

  The Moon Goddess stood at the edge of the waterfall, watching the Wolf Moon warriors splash around in the water. Though it was dark outside, she was bright enough to light the entire forest. With piercing blue eyes and curls that blew softly behind her, she glanced over at us and smiled.

  “Isabella and Kylo,” she said. “Are you ready to talk?”

  I furrowed my brows. “You’ve been waiting for us?”

  She laughed, her voice getting lost in the wind, and placed down a glass of white wine with moonflower sap. “Only since the weekend started,” she said playfully. “You two are so aggravating to watch, on and off and on and off with all the flirting.”

  Kylo looked at me with one brow cocked and squeezed my hand. I hadn’t let go of it yet.

  After ushering us back toward the garden where it was more private, she said, “My dears, the Sky and I have had bets on how you two would end up. It’s such a blessing to see you together again.”

  Again.

  What did again mean?

  We followed her through the gardens, letting her light our path.

  And why would she have bets on us? Shouldn’t she want us to be with our mates—the wolves who she’d assigned us to be together with forever?

  She sat down on a stone bench, admiring her light as it bounced off of the tulips. “Now, what is it exactly that you want to know? Everything? Specific odd
ities maybe?”

  Kylo squeezed my hand tighter, and I dropped his. It felt so wrong, yet the whole time, I had been gravitating toward him. The pull was becoming unbearably strong.

  “I don’t want to feel this connection with Kylo anymore,” I blurted.

  We do, my wolf said. We love him.

  No. We don’t.

  We love Kylo. Kylo was our first love.

  Stop it.

  Kylo will always be our love.

  I pressed my lips together, trying to get my wolf’s thoughts out of my mind. It wasn’t true. I didn’t love him. He wasn’t my first love. He wasn’t even in love with me. My wolf was speaking utter nonsense.

  “Oh, honey …” She stood up and brushed her knuckles against my cheek, making my skin tingle. “This connection will never go away. You are bound by my power, have been for thousands and thousands of years.”

  My heart raced. Our first love.

  “How?” Kylo asked. “Are we mates?”

  She chuckled. “No.”

  “Connected by the Wolf Moon?” I offered.

  She arched a brow. “Do you feel this connection with anyone else here?”

  “Then, what is it?” I asked, my fingers brushing against his fingers once more.

  After pausing for a few moments, she smiled. “You two are connected because you’re going to save the werewolf species from the war that lies ahead of you. There is a darkness coming, a darkness that I can’t stop. It does not allow for divine intervention, and if it did … well, my powers alone are far too weak.”

  She brushed her fingers against the Lycan tattoo on the center of my back. “You two are my strongest warriors. You two have positioned yourselves in the best ways possible for the journey ahead. For you, Isabella, you have the Lycans.” She gazed at Kylo, and I watched her light dance in his eyes. “For you, Kylo, you have this.”

  She held out her hand, and the flower that could kill any Wolf Moon warrior within seconds appeared in a small jar. He cautiously took it from her.

 

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