“So, as of tomorrow if anyone asks you your name, then what are we going to say?” she asked, her face smiling as they all huddled together.
“Granger!” the twins called out in unison.
“My name is Rain Granger, pleased to meet you.” Nicole laughed. Her ribs still hurt when she breathed, so laughing was almost torture, but the medication and bandages she had gotten while out on her trip for supplies were at least taking the edge off, and hearing her kids laugh unhindered was medicine enough.
“What about you, Storm?”
The youngster rolled her eyes. She didn’t need to play a game to understand that she was no longer going to be called Storm Nixon. “Same, my name will be Granger.”
Nicole nodded and stroked a hand through her messy curls. It was going to be tough, so much change so quickly for them all, but there was no going back now. If he found them, he would eventually kill her. That much she knew.
Chapter Eleven
Getting back to her cabin had taken a lot of effort for Lucy. She had run and run, ending up much further along the path before her legs collapsed under and she fell to the ground sobbing, her leg stiff and aching. When she eventually managed to hobble back to her home, she threw herself on her bed and curled into a ball. She cried like she hadn’t done in years, not since that awful day in the hospital when her mother had gently explained by her bedside that she had lost Nicky. Woeful sobs gave way to feral cries as her heart tore in two once more. Maybe it had never healed together in the first place and had now just cracked open a different fissure? It didn’t matter; what mattered was that they were leaving and she would be alone again.
Sixteen years had passed and not one day had passed without her thinking about Nicky or Scott, Mike, Ben, or Sarah. She blamed herself for making Nicky get on the bus. Why hadn’t she just gone along with what Nicky wanted and taken a cab later? She blamed herself for being late on the bus; had it set off on time, maybe it wouldn’t have been hit by the car with a foreign driver who had gotten confused with which lane he should be in. But mostly she blamed herself for living. They had died and she had lived, and for what? She had lost everything: her lover, her friends, and her career. Her life ended that night with them, but she was forced to live on regardless in this perpetual hell on Earth.
She had considered ending it. Of course she had. Several times over the years she had thought about it; it would be so easy. Nobody would miss her, but she had always ended up convincing herself that it was her punishment to continue living like this, to always be reminded that it was her fault.
And she was mad at herself for letting her guard down, for allowing the Grangers into her life only for them to have to leave. She should have known better. Why had she let them in? She had no clue; it wasn’t like her. It wasn’t as if people hadn’t tried before. She kept people at arm’s length for a reason, far enough away that they could never be hurt by her and she would never have to tell them her story, but sitting there with Nicole just now, she had almost said it. She had almost told her how she lost everything.
She had no idea how long she had been lying there for. Her eyes were sore and gritty and she needed to pee, so she got up and wandered to the bathroom. Crossing the room in the half-darkness, she almost had a heart attack. Storm was sitting on her couch, elbows resting on her knees, her shoulders hunched and her face held within her palms. She looked a sorrowful state.
“Storm? What are you doing here?” she asked gently as she moved across the room to sit with her.
“Hiding,” she answered honestly. Her face was tearstained, her eyes red and puffy; she looked miserable.
“Is he back?” Lucy went into panic mode, ready to run and kick this guy right in the nuts.
“No, I’m hiding from Mom,” she wept. She tucked her legs up and wrapped her arms around them, letting her face fall into her knees as she sobbed.
“Why?”
“I don’t want to leave.” She continued to sob. It was that simple.
“Oh.” She didn’t know what else to say, what could she say to the kid to make her feel better? It was a shitty situation all around. She went to the toilet as she had planned and when she came back out, Storm was lying on the couch holding a cushion to her chest.
“I’m going to go and tell your mum that you’re here, okay?” she said softly, crouching down to her level. “She will be worried.”
Storm didn’t reply, and so Lucy pulled the blanket down and over her. Then she stood and began the short walk back to the Grangers’ cabin.
~E&F~
“Is she with you?” Nicole shrieked. She was frantic as she saw Lucy appear along the path.
“Yes, I just found her on my couch. She’s okay, but she says she is hiding.”
Nicole sighed with relief. “Thank goodness.” She ran her fingers through her dark hair in frustration. “Okay, I’ll come and get her once we’re all packed and loaded up, if that’s alright with you?”
“Sure,” Lucy agreed, turning to leave.
“Lucy?” Nicole called after her. Lucy turned to face her, frowning. “I’m glad I met you.”
Lucy said nothing as she turned to walk away again. It was all she could do to just keep on walking; she couldn’t afford to let herself care now, not if they were leaving.
~E&F~
Time felt like it was slipping through her fingers. It wasn’t that long before Lucy and Storm heard the car pull up outside. It was dark by now. The world outside was silent but for the movement of the woman walking toward her up the path.
Lucy looked at Storm and they shared a quiet moment, a look that said their time was up. The knock on the door took Lucy’s attention and she rose up unsteadily and crossed the room. Nicole ushered the twins inside quickly and followed. Lucy didn’t bother to speak.
“Storm, it’s time to go, baby, say goodbye to Lucy.”
“No. No, it’s not fair. I don’t want to go, you lied to me!” She shouted at her mother. “You lied, you always tell me if someone is mean to someone I should stand up to them, but you’re not, you’re running away.”
“I’m trying to keep you safe!” Nicole sighed. “Don’t you understand that, baby? I can’t let anything else happen to you.”
Lucy watched the family discussion, feeling as though she were intruding and shouldn’t be here. Storm just sat there, steadfastly refusing to acknowledge what it was that her mother was explaining.
“So what? You want to stay here?” Nicole asked her daughter. “You want to be here when he comes back? And what then? When he is done hitting me? And you? What about your sisters?” She knew she was being unfair, but Storm had to understand the severity of what had happened, what could happen again if they didn’t go now and try to find somewhere else to hide.
“I want to stay here and stand up to him!” Storm shouted. “I want to tell him I hate him and to leave me alone. I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I’m 8, and I want to be with my friends!” She reached up and took Lucy’s hand. It took all of Lucy’s strength not to drop to her knees and beg for them to stay. Nicole had tears streaming down her cheeks. This child had more courage than all the adults in her life put together. The twins, they didn’t really understand anything. They were just scared, like she was, but Storm, she was the brave one of them all.
“Me too, Mommy.” Summer tugged gently on her hand. “I wanna stay by the lake.” Rain nodded in agreement with her sisters.
“Baby please, don’t make this any harder than it already is,” Nicole begged, taking hold of Storm’s hand. She didn’t want to force her, but she would pick her up and carry her to the car if she had to.
“Can I talk to you?” Lucy interjected. “Outside?”
Nicole nodded. She watched as the girls all huddled together with Storm. Her girls, precious and beautiful; they deserved so much more.
The cool air was welcome on Lucy’s hot skin, but she wrapped her arms around herself protectively anyway. She couldn’t believe what she was about to do. She wa
tched as Nicole walked over to her and they both leant against the hood of the car. It was quiet. The moon was bright and there were no clouds. Stars dotted the night sky in their thousands.
“Why don’t you stay here tonight and then in the morning once she has calmed down, you can leave?” She wanted to add, ‘If you still want to,’ but she failed to see the point in constantly getting her hopes up. They were leaving; she needed to accept that.
“Stay here? In your cabin?” Nicole repeated as she turned to look at Lucy.
“Yes!” Lucy said, nodding. “He won’t come here and if he does, well I have a shotgun and I am quite happy to shoot him in the nuts!” She smiled conspiratorially.
“We couldn’t impose on you like that,” Nicole said, shaking her head.
“Why not? What do you have against people helping you?”
“I don’t know, what do you have against it?” she threw back. Touché, thought Lucy.
“I’m not against it. I tried it, it didn’t work, but my situation isn’t the same.”
“What is your situation?” She could feel Nicole’s eyes boring into her and she looked away.
“You might not have noticed, but I don’t talk about it.”
“Well you might not have noticed, but my kids seem to think you talk quite a lot.”
“That’s because they don’t ask the wrong questions.”
“God, you are so frustrating!” Nicole said, throwing her hands up in the air. “You expect me to trust you but you have no intention of trusting me.”
“This isn’t about me, it’s about your child that is hurting and needs to deal with her situation before she becomes me!” Lucy said, shocking Nicole with her admission. “Is that what you want? A child that withdraws into herself and hides from the world because she doesn’t know how to deal with her fears and feelings?”
Lucy was right and Nicole knew it. Storm wasn’t shy or slow to join in, but there were times when Nicole noticed warning signs of little walls starting to build. The more aware she became of her father, the more she pulled back. Nicole had been relieved to see the old Storm returning to the fore since they had arrived at the lake; since she had met Lucy. “How do I help her?”
“I don’t have a fucking clue,” admitted Lucy as she laughed at the absurdity of it all. “However, that kid of yours—” She pointed back into the cabin. “-has more courage than the pair of us put together and I don’t think you should ignore that, but she is your child and you must do what you think is right.”
Nicole nodded and pushed herself away from her resting spot on the car to walk back inside the cabin, hoping to goodness that the decision she had just made was going to be the right one.
Storm looked up at her, eyes wide in fear that she would be told to get in the car, and yet, still filled with hope that she wouldn’t be. The twins were sleeping, one either side of their elder sister.
“Lucy says we can stay here tonight, and then in the morning we will come up with a plan,” Nicole said, trying desperately to sound confident in her decision, more for herself than anyone else’s benefit. He had found them with help from friends in high places, tracking their car to its new owner. He had soon worked out where she had sold it and what route she was on. He followed the trail once, he would do it again.
“You mean it?” Storm said. “We can stay?”
“For tonight, and in the morning, we will discuss it further, okay?”
“Yes, thank you, I love you, mom!” she cried, jumping up and throwing her arms around Nicole’s waist. Looking up, she saw Lucy standing in the doorway leaning on the jamb. “Lucy! Thank you, I love you too,” she said, running towards her and wrapping her arms around her. Lucy was taken aback by this sudden rush of emotion being pushed her way. She hadn’t been held by anyone for a very long time; it was so foreign to her now. Slowly she reached her hand to Storm’s back and patted gently, and with each movement, it became easier. Something lifted, just a little bit, but the darkness deep inside her moved and made space for something else to fill it, something lighter.
Chapter Twelve
When the girls were all tucked up in bed and drifting peacefully off to sleep, Lucy helped Nicole to move the car to the back of the cabin out of sight, just in case. She really didn’t believe he would be back tonight, but to placate a fretting Nicole, she went along with it.
The cabin was quiet as she opened a bottle of wine and brought two glasses, placing them on the table in front of the couch. She poured a little into each and offered one to Nicole, who accepted it with a warm smile, then winced as she was reminded of the small cut to her lip as it stretched with the movement.
“Does it hurt?” Lucy grimaced, lifting a hand to touch her but realising quickly enough to stop herself. She forced her hand back into her own lap.
“Yes, a little, but not so bad really.” Nicole, however, did raise a hand and touch a finger to the cut, imagining Lucy had. “I…I’ve had worse.”
“How long?” Lucy inquired, looking at her and wondering just how or why anyone could do such a thing to another person, let alone someone you’re supposed to love.
“Did he beat me for?” Nicole queried, completely void of any emotion. She could do that now, switch off from it. These weeks away from him had allowed her to see it for what it was, to remove herself from it and accept that it happened. What she needed to do was find a way to accept it wouldn’t happen again.
Lucy nodded.
“The majority of our married life.” Her voice broke as she admitted it to someone for the first time.
His face darkened. The smile on her face faltered as she saw the change. He had just been laughing and now, as he stared across the room at her, she realised he didn’t like what he saw. She took a step backwards, away from his friend Jeff. His oldest friend had simply kissed her on the cheek in greeting, but Paul didn’t like it, that much was clear.
When the last guest had left, she had forgotten all about it, but he hadn’t. She hadn’t even heard him enter the room until she felt the punch that hit the back of her head, knocking her off her feet. There was no time to react before he grabbed a fistful of her hair and dragged her upright, only to knock her down once more with another punch, this time to the stomach.
“Paul, please don’t…” She never finished her sentence. The kick that came knocked the wind from her.
She shook the memory off and glanced up at Lucy, her face passive as she sat still, waiting for her to continue. “But then a year ago he started to hurt Storm. Not often,” she was quick to interject when she saw the look of horror on Lucy’s face. Continuing on, she explained, “She had got to an age where she knew what was going on and she stood up to him. That was when I knew we had to leave.”
“That must have been a very brave decision,” Lucy said, taking a sip of her wine.
“I didn’t think about that. Hurting me was one thing, but I just knew I couldn’t let him hurt my girls. So, I kept on his good side for as long as I could, gradually syphoning some money to one side without him noticing. I hid clothes and toys in a box in the garage ready for us to take off when the opportunity arose.”
“Why couldn’t you just leave him?”
“You don’t know who he is, do you?”
Lucy shook her head and waited for further information.
“He used to be a football player, he is an idol where we lived and they all adore him; the homegrown kid made good,” she mocked, shaking her head. “He is friends with the police chief, the judge. Anyone who is anyone knows and respects him and he can charm them all into believing I am just a troublesome wife that doesn’t know her place.”
“So, he thinks he can just hit you and that it’s all ok?” Lucy responded, getting up and hobbling over to the fireplace. The air had chilled around them. She was unsure if it was the temperature or the atmosphere, but she felt cold to the bone.
“He doesn’t think it, he knows it,” Nicole answered, watching as Lucy struggled to bend down. She started t
o crumple old newspaper into balls, adding some kindling and a couple of small logs before lighting it up. The fire brought instant warmth with just the appearance of the flames.
“I have never understood why anyone would want to hurt the person they say they love, I can’t imagine ever raising my fist to—” She stopped herself from saying Nicky, but she raised her eyes to the photograph as she grasped the mantle to pull herself upright.
“Can I ask you something?” Nicole said, tucking her bare feet up under herself on the couch.
“You can ask,” she replied, looking back at the flames awaiting the questions she knew were coming.
“Do you miss home?” Nicole had noticed the accent a while ago. Mostly Lucy sounded American, but now and then she would say something and it was like Mary Poppins was in front of her.
“No, there’s nothing there for me, this is where I live now.” Nicole noted she didn’t call here ‘home.’
“So, you wouldn’t go back?”
“Like I said, there is nothing for me to go back to.”
“Was there ever?”
Lucy smiled wistfully and looked away as tears pricked at her eyes, threatening to spill over once more. She got herself under control and replied calmly, “Yes, many things.”
“Like?”
“The usual,” she offered up evasively as she moved slowly back to her seat on the couch. She wasn’t trying to be obstinate; it was just too hard. She couldn’t swim with those memories again, could she? Not without drowning in a sea of pity that she would find in Nicole’s eyes.
“So, Lucy…What plans do you have now for moving forward?” the therapist asked her for the fifth time since Lucy had begun these sessions. “Have you thought any further about that?
“What’s the point?” Lucy answered, her eyes content to just stare absently ahead.
“Well, there must be things that you miss, that you’d like to—”
“Miss? I miss everything. My entire life is gone…is there some kind of magic shop I can go to and find all the things I miss?” She would have jumped up in fury, but her body hurt too much with such a movement. “There is nothing for me now, not here anyway.”
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