“Don’t go, please,” Nicole mumbled, her voice laced with sorrow and sleep.
“Okay,” Lucy replied. Swallowing down the anxiety that was forming, she bent down, ready to kneel back on the floor.
“Not down there, up here,” Nicole said more coherently, pulling back the cover to reveal a space beside her. The curve of her breasts was outlined under the nightdress, pulled so tight across her chest where it was twisted from all the thrashing back and forth under the sheets. Lucy found herself drawn to look and felt the small tug of arousal that had not been present for the better part of ten years.
“I don’t think—” She averted her gaze and was about to say that it wasn’t appropriate, but Nicole cut her off.
“I just—” She paused, “I feel safer with you here. I won’t touch you,” she promised, although in her mind she considered the idea of being held by Lucy and she liked the idea.
Lucy considered her options. She could just refuse, go back to her room, and leave a woman in distress to face her nightmares alone, then possibly be awoken again later with another nightmare episode, or she could be a mature adult and share a bed with someone who was the closest thing she had to a friend other than Rita, someone who now knew her better than anyone else knew her. Somebody she wanted to stay.
Chapter Fourteen
Bright sunshine streamed through a window that wasn’t hers. Lucy opened one eye and remembered the reason that she wasn’t waking up in her own bed. She remembered she wasn’t alone, and that wasn’t her own arm wrapped snuggly around her waist as though it had every right to be there, or her hand that had crept under her top and rested just above her hip bone.
Nicole.
Lucy felt warmth and comfort. It had been a long time since she had woken up feeling so calm and at ease. It was a long time since she had slept so well too.
During the night Nicole had clearly gravitated towards her bed partner, subconsciously ignoring the promise not to touch. Their limbs had become so entwined with each other that Lucy was unsure where she began and Nicole ended. Her dark hair splayed out messily so that all Lucy could smell was the scent of her mixed with shampoo and sweat. It was intoxicating. Arousal again tugged at her at every nerve that made contact with Nicole’s body. Lucy froze. Unsure what she should do, so she did what she always did. Nothing.
It took several more minutes for Nicole to sense her surroundings. As she began to stir, her fingers moved unconsciously and began to lightly stroke the bare skin beneath them as they gently tried to figure out where she was. It was almost unbearable for Lucy, and she held back a small gasp as the feather-light touches made her skin tingle, heat emanating from every pore. Gradually Nicole opened her eyes and as they focused fully, she looked straight at Lucy’s face, just inches from her own. The bruising around her socket was now more pronounced, but her eye wasn’t damaged enough that she couldn’t see.
“Sorry.” She flustered, quickly untangling herself and moving to the other side of the bed where the sheets where cool, indicating just how long she had been asleep on Lucy. “I didn’t realise, I’m so sorry, Lucy.”
Lucy remained silent, confused. She didn’t know what she should say, but she knew one thing: she missed the warmth. Wasn’t that what her life had become? Missing something; it was what she was used to, what she was comfortable with. But this loss was different; it was warm and alive.
She jumped out of bed muttering things like, “It’s ok,” “Not to worry,” and “Seeing to the kids.” And then she was gone.
Nicole sat up with a sigh, wrapped her arms around her legs, and rested her head on her knees. She closed her eyes and rebuked herself. Of all the stupid things she could have done. Throwing her legs over the side of the bed, she got up and dressed in yesterday’s clothes. She would find time for a shower and some clean clothes later. Right now, she needed to get the kids ready to leave. And she needed a clear head to deal with Storm’s opinions on the matter.
She headed out to the kitchen, where she found her three daughters already up. All of them sat at the table, messy-haired and sleepy as they ate some toast. She glanced around the room and realised that Lucy wasn’t there. Something about that caused her shoulders to sag. There was something about the other woman that gave her strength, and she felt lacking in that right now as she caught her eldest daughter’s eye.
“Morning babies.” Nicole greeted her brood as she poured a cup of steaming hot coffee that she assumed Lucy had made. She was trying to be upbeat, trying to show them that everything would be okay, but deep down she wasn’t so sure anymore. She had let her guard down, assuming that they were safe when they were far from it.
“Mom! I’m not a baby,” Storm complained, and Nicole smirked as much as her split lip would allow. She added creamer to her drink, stirring slowly as she considered just how grown up her eldest was becoming. She frowned when she realised she was far too wise for her years, that her youth was being stolen from her.
“You,” Nicole said, bending to kiss her eldest daughters head, “will always be my baby, no matter how old you are.” Storm winced at that idea, but she relished the attention from her mom. “As will you.” She kissed Rain. “And you,” she added, turning to kiss Summer, who was already waiting with pouted lips for her kiss. “Where is Lucy?” Nicole asked casually as she stood and took another sip of coffee.
“Outside,” answered Summer, tugging on a corner of her toast with her teeth. “Is Lucy your baby too?”
“Does she get a kiss?” Rain laughed.
Nicole blushed but ignored them, though she couldn’t help the smile that she felt grace her lips. “Okay, you guys keep eating, and then we will talk,” she said over her shoulder as she walked towards the door and towards Lucy.
~E&F~
When she reached the shoreline of the lake, she could see Lucy sitting by herself on the small jetty, her shoeless feet dangling over the edge, toes just skimming the clear water. The small boat that was tied to the dock bobbed gently up and down a little further along. It was another beautiful day at the lake; they had slept for much longer than Nicole had intended, and people were already out on the water in small boats and kayaks in the distance, enjoying the sunshine just like Lucy as she sat leaning backwards, her arms straight out behind her, all her weight on her palms as she gazed up at the sky. Her eyes were open, and she seemed to be searching for something way up high above them.
Nicole was about to turn and leave her in peace for a little longer, but something held her feet firmly in place. Her thoughts were jumbled. They should be on the road by now. She should be so scared and anxious that they would be a hundred miles away already, and yet, she wasn’t; she was still here at the lake. Something about this woman in front of her made her feel calmer. She was so focused on her own thoughts, she barely heard Lucy speak. Her voice was quiet but clear, and Nicole noticed for the first time just how very American she sounded today.
“Hey, you can stay, ya know?”
Nicole smiled shyly. “I thought you might want to enjoy the quiet by yourself,” she said as she closed the distance between them and sat on the deck with her.
Lucy looked to the sky again. “Sometimes, I feel like the noise is deafening, almost as loud as the silence.”
Nicole chuckled. “I’ll have them out of your hair just as soon as breakfast is over.”
“That wasn’t what I meant,” she replied, turning back to the lake. It was a peaceful morning: barely a breeze, the sun was shining, and the water was like glass, so calm and clear that she could see right through it. She could hear the kids bickering over juice in the background and she had to admit, she had gotten used to them being around. She would miss the noise. But she could feel in her bones that something was changing within herself; she was less guarded, more open and more hopeful.
“I think my days of solitude are coming to an end,” she stated, turning to look at her. “Don’t you?”
Nicole nodded.
“Stay,” Lucy whispered,
not sure if she actually said it out loud or not when no reply came forth immediately.
“We can’t,” Nicole replied after some thought. She wanted to, she really wanted to. They had made friends here, they could have a life here, but she couldn’t risk her children.
Lucy nodded, understanding the reasons why. But for the first time since the accident, she had seen an opportunity for something, what? Better? Happier? It didn’t matter now though; Nicole and the girls were leaving and that was all there was to it.
“Well, I need to go into town so, I guess this is goodbye?” she said, standing quickly, the lump in her throat threatening to expose her like an open wound.
“Oh right, okay,” Nicole said, unsure what else she could say. She didn’t want to hurt Lucy or see her upset, but there wasn’t another choice; they couldn’t go back to their cabin, not now that he knew where they were. “Thank you, for everything.” She meant it, and yet, it didn’t seem enough. It didn’t feel right.
“Sure.” Lucy smiled sadly and walked past her back to the house
Chapter Fifteen
The girls were still sitting around the table when Nicole got back to the cabin. The twins were talking animatedly to each other and playing with dolls that Lucy had bought them, but Storm just sat staring at her empty plate. Her face said everything her voice hadn’t.
Taking a breath, Nicole pulled up a chair and sat down with them. “So, we need to discuss where to go next.” She glanced around at three faces that were now frowning.
Storm pushed her chair away from the table, its legs scraping loudly on the floor before she ran from the house. Nicole knew it was going to be difficult to have this discussion, but she had hoped Storm would understand. Sighing deeply, she dragged herself to her feet again, telling the twins to stay there while she retraced the same steps back out to the path she had just come in from and headed back to the lake. What was it with this place that drew everyone to the shore when they were emotional?
The short path led down and through some brambles before the small patch of rocky shoreline and the jetty came into view. Storm wasn’t there. She scanned the area and couldn’t see her. She called out loudly several times, but she didn’t hear or see a thing. And then she felt her heartbeat race and her skin chill as noticed it: the small boat, the same one that had been tied to the end of the dock when Lucy sat here. It wasn’t tied there any longer; it was out on the lake and Storm was in it, desperately trying to row herself away and further onto the lake.
“Storm!” she screamed, panic rising furiously as she watched her daughter moving more and more into peril. “Get back here right this minute!”
Storm shook her head and just kept rowing. “You said we could discuss it, but you already decided. I’m not going.” She screamed back at her mother.
Nicole tried again, calling her and begging her to come back, but Storm just kept going. She was now either totally ignoring her or couldn’t hear her. Either way, it terrified her. She didn’t know what to do. Her thoughts swirled. The twins were on their own; she had to get back to them. What if Paul came now? He could just take the twins, he could just take her. But Storm was in more danger, alone and out on the water in a boat she didn’t know how to control. She had never been in a boat.
~E&F~
Storm had smiled brightly as Lucy strolled back inside the cabin. Her little hopeful heart had been pounding inside her chest the entire time that her mother had been outside with Lucy. But now, as she looked at the expression on Lucy’s face, she knew already that nothing had changed. They were still leaving.
Lucy stopped by her chair and dropped to her haunches. “You need to be good for your mum, okay?”
Storm remained silent. Tears that had welled and threatened now began to slowly slip down her cheeks. “I don’t want to go.”
“I know, but…” Lucy had to swallow down the emotion that had suddenly filled her throat. “When you’re older…you’ll understand.” She kissed the child on the forehead and stood. Her wallet was on the sideboard, and she reached out and grabbed it, pushing it into her pocket. “Hey, Rain? Summer? Don’t be afraid to keep having fun, okay?” They both looked at her and then at each other, neither of them quite understanding what was happening.
“Lucy?” Storm called her name and she turned instantly. “I wish you were…I wish he wasn’t.” And Lucy understood everything she meant.
“Me too. Take care, sweetheart,” she said as she reached the door and left quickly. She needed to not be here. It would be difficult enough for Nicole; the last thing she needed was Lucy hanging around. Storm would be difficult as it was. But, she also needed some time to get herself together, to try and salvage what was left of her walls and rebuild them as best as she could. Though her fear was that she wouldn’t be able to, she was going to need to find a way of dealing with her newfound want for company.
Life had been easier in many ways before Nicole and the girls had arrived, but she struggled to remember anything good about it. She felt conflicted though, struggling to know who she was anymore in this world she had created for herself. Somehow these three little girls had wormed their way in, and she didn’t want them to go. But they weren’t hers to keep, and so she had no choice but to say goodbye. It wasn’t just them though; it was their mother too. Nicole, so vulnerable and beautiful, had managed to bring Lucy out of her self-imposed shell, and now, when she was raw and exposed, Nicole was just walking away. She scolded herself. Who was she kidding, to think that life could be any different?
Storm hadn’t taken it well, not that she had expected she would. The twins were too young to worry about anything other than the doll they were playing with, but Storm understood. She knew that it meant they would never see each other again. This would just be a chapter in their lives, nothing more, and Lucy couldn’t bear to be around to watch them leave, so she left. Cowardly, she knew.
She walked with no real purpose; it was more a ramble. She hadn’t even really stuck to the paths or paid any attention to where she was walking when she heard Nicole from the other side of the lake screaming at Storm. The kid wasn’t going to make things easy for her mother, that much was clear. She smiled inwardly as she considered the bravery of one little girl trying to find her place in the world. Lucy hoped that one day she succeeded, because the other possibility, her father, just wasn’t an option.
But when she heard Nicole scream for the second time she knew something wasn’t right. She was pretty close to the water’s edge, but her view was obscured by bushes and trees, so she had to manoeuvre herself around them before she could get a clear view back across the lake. She could see Nicole on the other side, and she was waving. At first Lucy thought she was waving at her, but there was no way she would even know she was here. She scanned the area for the ex-husband, but he wasn’t anywhere to be seen either. And then she saw it. Storm was standing in the row boat, gesturing, and now as Lucy concentrated, she could hear that Storm was also shouting something.
“Storm, what are you doing?” Lucy shouted. On hearing Lucy’s voice, she began to turn around in the boat, but her movement caused the boat to rock and become off-balance, and she wobbled. “Don’t move,” Lucy called again, holding her hands up. “Just stay very still.” Storm did as she was told; apparently, she didn’t like the idea of plunging into the water either.
Lucy looked around for another boat anywhere, but there wasn’t anything. She walked along the shore a little further, but still found nothing. And then she heard the splash, and the fear that raced through her at that moment was unlike anything she had ever felt before.
“Shit,” Lucy muttered as she realised the only way to solve this problem fast was to swim out there. She stripped off her clothes down to her underwear and hopped as best she could across the rocks until she was clear of them and could wade in. It was more than cold. The water lapping against her skin was painful. It was freezing, but she pushed on, ignoring everything but the need to get to Storm before it was too late.
As soon as it was deep enough, she dove in and began swimming for her life.
~E&F~
Nicole screamed. Her heart stopped and her stomach roiled as she watched Storm lose her balance and topple into the water. She only breathed again when she saw Lucy wading in. The twins had come running out of the cabin to see what all the noise was about. They clung to her legs, one either side, not really understanding what was happening other than that Mommy was upset again. Nicole was torn between diving in or staying with them. Lucy was nearer, all she could do was watch as her friend swam powerfully through the water towards Storm, who was flailing about, screaming.
The water was so cold. It might have been sunny, but this far out into the lake was deeper, and the water was deceptively colder as Lucy ploughed on. She looked up and watched in horror as Storm slipped under the water. All that filled her senses was the ear-piercing scream from Nicole on the shore. Reaching the spot Storm had last been, she dove under, searching the murky water. Her long arm reached forward and grabbed at the flailing arm of the girl she knew she already loved, pulling her back to her. Swimming upward for all she was worth, she pushed Storm up and out of the water in one fluid movement. She reached for the boat, and as quickly and gently as she could, she pushed the girl up and over, back into the craft before climbing in after her. She rolled her over and checked her airways. Storm coughed and water vomited from her mouth as Lucy lifted her up and held her tight.
“Don’t you ever do that again!” she scolded as tears ran down her cheek, but she didn’t let her go, and Storm herself began to cry, the shock of what had happened sinking in. “You scared me,” Lucy admitted. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“I’m s-s-sorry.” She sobbed, her breath catching as she tried to speak between sobs. “I’m s-s-sorry,” she kept repeating.
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