by Abigail Agar
“Why do you care so much?” Ellie asked.
Mr. Potts was cautious in his response, but he gave her a sweet smile.
“I have not asked about your attachment to the home and you have offered no explanation. We may keep it that way for now, but it does not change the fact that I see this home is in your heart. There is some reason it means so much to you and I cannot bear to see you suffer the loss of it. So, yes, I chased him away,” Mr. Potts said.
Ellie was astonished. No one had ever done anything like that for her before. She couldn’t believe that he was being so kind to her, that he was standing up on her behalf.
“You did that for me?” she asked.
Mr. Potts shrugged and then nodded.
“It was nothing,” he said.
“It was very much something,” she replied. “You did not have to do that. You could have been injured. I am shocked that you would make such a kind and strong effort. I mean…were you not frightened?”
“I was. I confess that I was very frightened, but I knew that he needed to be gotten rid of. You deserve to be comfortable in the home when you go and visit. And…if you do not mind the suggestion, I would very much like to see you there from time to time,” Mr. Potts said.
Ellie’s cheeks grew hot. She understood that he was suggesting that he be allowed to visit her now and then. It was a remarkable thought, hearing that he was actually interested in spending more time with her.
She smiled and nodded to him, glad that he was thinking about her. She wished that she could explain to him that she was not nearly so interesting as he appeared to think she was, but Ellie wanted him to continue being intrigued by her and this seemed to be working. She was simply being herself and he was expressing curiosity about her.
“So, may I share my idea with you? I came up with a way of keeping out undesirables and ensuring that you have the freedom to come and go as you please,” he said.
“Indeed, please tell me what you have thought of,” she said.
“Well, I believe the man only went there because he could see that it was not lived in. If the home looked nicer, more well-kept, he would have been less likely to invade,” he said.
It certainly made sense and Ellie understood what he was saying. That was a reasonable enough thought.
“Yes, I think you must be right. Of course he would go there if he thought no one lived there,” she said.
“So, if we fix it up, if we make the home perfectly presentable, do you think he or any others are likely to bother it? I should certainly hope not, but what do you think?” he asked.
“I think that is a splendid idea. If we keep it looking perfect from the outside, no one is going to go in and try to live there. We must make it appear as though there is someone still living there, keeping everything tidy and neat. I love the idea. You are very clever, Mr. Potts,” Ellie said.
“You think so?” he asked, beaming.
“I do, indeed,” she replied.
“You are too kind, Miss Windsor. I mean it. I never have met someone quite like you,” he said.
She blushed again, enjoying this attention from a dashing, rugged man who had such a fondness for the outdoors and for wildlife as she did. He was clearly an accomplished rider, but she saw that he was far more than that. He was also a good man and that was something far more difficult to come by.
“Now, Miss Windsor, what do you say? Shall we make out way back to the house and start getting it presentable?” he asked.
Ellie nodded and she clambered to her feet. Mr. Potts offered his hand from atop his horse. For a moment, she was hesitant. She had never ridden with a man before, not like this anyway. She was eager to taste this new life which she was now chasing.
Ellie gave her hand and Mr. Potts helped to swing her up on the horse so that she was seated in front of him. She hoped that no one would see her, especially no one who might alert her aunt to the fact that she was out riding with a man. Ellie was less concerned about that, however, than she was about protecting her family’s home.
Mr. Potts rode through back routes, much to her appreciation. They were such a short distance from the home that it took only a brief spell before they arrived from the back, the same place where he had surprised her the first time they met, bursting through the trees.
By the time they arrived, Ellie was full of laughter, having thoroughly enjoyed the ride. Mr. Potts brought the steed to a halt and they dismounted with ease.
“That was most refreshing,” Ellie said.
“Well, you told me you have not ridden for quite some time. I am glad that I was able to assist you in remedying that tragedy,” he said.
“Indeed, you did just that. I wish that we could ride for a good deal longer, but I know that it could…well…that there could be consequences,” she said.
He winced and nodded in agreement.
“Indeed, there could be. I should not like for either of us to have to suffer them, whatever they may be. Thank you for being so understanding, Miss Windsor, but there may be a time yet in the future when we have the opportunity to ride together again,” he said.
“I should like that very much,” she replied.
“Very well. For now, let us get back to what we originally came for. Let us be sure to get all this dealt with for the sake of your lovely little house being returned to you and you alone,” Mr. Potts said.
Ellie appreciated how hard he was working and the way he did not force her to tell him anything about the house and what it really meant to her. She felt certain that he respected her even when others did not. That was a fact which made her more grateful than anything else.
They started by tidying up the garden. It was not in the worst condition, but the grass needed to be cut and Mr. Potts promised to come back later that day and have it done, saying that there was a tool for it that he could get from his home. From there, they dealt with many of the weeds and pruning a tree which looked as though it might be dying.
By the time they were finished for the day, both were exhausted, but happy. As for Ellie, she really was starting to believe that everything was finally coming together for her in a new way.
Her life was beginning to matter again.
Chapter 12
“Will you not fulfill your duty? It is truly not so difficult as you seem to believe. I assure you that all you need to do is accept one of the numerous young women out there who would be happy to marry you,” Jonathan’s mother said, apparently unable to resist getting frustrated at him all over again.
“Mother, I beg of you. Please. I am doing my best. I have told you that I shall give this newest young lady a chance. Will you just allow me to have some time? I need to consider what makes me happy as well. Am I not allowed that? Can I not be afforded just the slightest bit of joy?” he asked.
“You find joy in the brushing of a horse’s tail and I can think of nothing less noble than that. Come now, Jonathan, I want to be proud of you. Why must you make that such a difficult task for me?” she asked him.
Jonathan tried not to be insulted, but he was failing. He just wanted his mother to accept him as he was. He couldn’t understand why she was always so horrified by him.
“Mother, allow me time. I cannot understand why you are in such a rush to see me married off,” he said.
“There are many reasons, Jonathan. Not only do I wish to see my grandchildren before I die, but there is also the matter of respectability. You have your father’s inheritance now and you must keep up the appearances which he set forth before he passed away. Your father was a noble man, not just a nobleman. He really did have a very good reputation and I wish for you to have the same,” she said.
“And why shouldn’t I have respectability without a wife?” he asked.
“Because it makes you appear as though you cannot get one or you would rather flirt about with a variety of young women,” she said.
“Mother, I am not the sort of man to do that. However, even if I was that sort of man, do y
ou believe society would care? I know at least a dozen men within parliament who have at least one mistress despite being married. I would never treat a woman in that way, but society would hardly fault me if I did,” he said.
“Oh, how awful. Do not speak of such things. I cannot stand to hear it. All I am saying is that you are taking far too long to wed. I have introduced you to as many young women as I can think of and so many of them are now being snatched up by other men,” she said.
“Good for them. I am glad they are finding the men they truly belong with,” he said.
“But these are the daughters of my friends. I should like for you to marry from amongst them because they are my dear ones. Why can you not simply accept that they are worth your time and your energy? I do not understand you, Jonathan. You should be so lucky to have a wife from amongst them and yet you cannot see it! Such a shame,” she said.
“Mother, I know that you love your friends a great deal, but I have no interest in marrying any of their daughters. That is all there is to it. Can we not move on? Must I continue trying to push and prove myself? I simply want to see to it that I lead a happy life as well. I have no desire for us to fight or argue, but I am also not going to try and play the fool who is willing to marry anyone just to appease you, Mother,” he said.
She grimaced and brushed him away with her hand, as if trying to make him disappear.
“May I just ask you this, Mother? Why must I marry a woman who is of noble birth? I cannot understand the rules of society when it comes to this. If I have nobility, should it not be imparted to my wife?” he asked.
“Oh, you know that is possible, but why would you want it? Why would you subject yourself to marrying from amongst the dregs of society? What? Are you seeking the daughter of a baron or something?” she asked.
Jonathan said nothing. He didn’t want the daughter of a baron. He wanted a wife who happened to be a beautiful orphan, living with her aunt and uncle.
“Not exactly,” he finally said.
“Well, I do not wish to hear it. If you wanted to marry the daughter of a baron, I would try to knock some sense into you, but if you dare to suggest that you want someone even less than that, I fear that I cannot help you and I shall not. You needn’t even try to convince me,” she said.
“I know that, mother. I know by now that you will not be swayed or moved to care about anyone aside from yourself and myself. But you really are missing out on a whole world of wonderful people. That is one thing I have learned of late,” he said.
His mother eyed him with curious frustration, as if she was smelling something unpleasant on him and wanted to be sure that he was not the source of it.
“How have you learned this? What have you been doing when you go out and galivant around the city and the countryside? Why do you keep asking all these questions about marrying a young lady who is not of noble birth?” she asked.
“It is nothing, Mother,” he replied.
“Do not lie to me. Have you…have you gotten a young woman into trouble? Are you asking because there is…is there a child?” she asked.
“What? No, Mother! I have no child. Why would you even suggest it?” he asked.
“Well, I know that you try to do the right thing and I thought that, if you had actually subjected yourself to a young woman of inferior birth, you may have ended up with a child and you are not sure what to do about it. Should that be the case, society has a way of going about these things and forgiving you from having to suffer the consequences,” she said.
“What do you mean by that?” he asked.
“I mean that the mother would be the one to pay the price with her reputation. You would be perfectly safe, my boy,” she said.
All over again, Jonathan was horrified. He was furious that his mother could be so casual in sharing about this but he was also angry that society cared so little about those who were not wealthy and titled. He was beginning to wonder if there was anything he could do to help fix this broken society in which he lived, but nothing came to mind.
Nothing, that is, aside from the idea that he might break the rules and marry a young lady with bare feet and loose hair.
“Anyway, back to your strange questions, yes. You must marry a woman of noble birth. I shall have nothing at all to do with you if I find out that you are marrying a woman who is anything but,” she said.
Jonathan’s heart sank, knowing that his mother would absolutely hold to that threat. She was not a forgiving woman, to his great sadness. She would never allow him to get away with something so heinous as simply falling in love with a woman who had nothing impressive to offer.
At last, he decided he could no longer handle his mother. He wanted to speak to Simon again, this time being brave and actually telling Simon the extent of how he felt about Miss Windsor. He wanted to have an honest conversation and be open about everything in his heart.
By the time he arrived, he was ready to sit down with Simon and share it all. The maid poured the tea and, the moment she was gone, Jonathan launched into what he wanted to say.
“I must tell you more about Miss Windsor. You need to know what I feel for her, Simon. And I need you to be supportive because she is not a young woman who is strange or problematic. You see, she does not know my identity,” he said.
“Do not play the fool. She is probably trying to seduce you because she wanted your title or fortune,” Simon said.
“No, she does not. She cares nothing for those things. Furthermore, she believes my name is…she thinks I am Jonathan Potts the groom for the Duke of Danby,” he said.
“Potts? You gave her my surname? Are you mad?” Simon asked.
“What? No! Why? Have I upset you?” he asked.
Simon began to laugh, shaking his head in amusement. Jonathan was relieved. For a brief moment he had thought he made Simon truly angry and he was not sure how to handle that. At least now he could have some peace that Simon knew what he had done and he found it amusing rather than offensive.
“And a groom? Really? I know you love horses, but you are a duke,” Simon said.
“It just…it happened that way,” he said.
“I am sure that it did. Still, I think you are a fool and you have made a grave mistake in not being honest about your identity. She is going to find out eventually,” Simon said.
“I know. And I shall tell her when I am ready, but I worried that she might be uncomfortable if she knew the truth. I am simply not ready for her to know, but it shall come in time. I promise you. I shall admit it to her soon enough,” he said.
“You had better do just that. She deserves to know, if she is so lovely as you say she is. A woman who is beloved by you ought to know the real you,” he said.
Simon was right and it pained Jonathan to know that he had been lying to her. And yet, there was no other option for now. He had to continue lying to her until he figured out how to be honest. Once he began the lie, it was so much easier to continue.
He was also realizing that she may not know how to handle the truth once he shared it. She was a woman who enjoyed the peace of things and he would be ruining that peace once he admitted to his true identity. Once he revealed himself to be a duke, what would she say? What would she do? She might never trust him again, but she also might never be comfortable around him again.
It was a sad thing he had done, but it could not be undone. He was now stuck and there was nothing which could fix it aside from a painful, brutal honesty which might forever destroy the bond they had begun to form.
“I can see what you are thinking,” Simon said.