“He said I was going to be the reason you got exposed, and that if I knew what was good for me, good for you, that I’d leave town. He said if I didn’t, I’d die here,” I said.
That day in the classroom was so clear in my mind. I’d told him when he found my father and convinced him he had a daughter, I’d leave. I cupped my hand over my mouth. Oh my God. I’d hoped I was wrong. But I wasn’t. Jax really was responsible for my father’s return.
“I know you don’t understand, but I had to do this,” Jax said, his gaze softening infinitesimally, just long enough for me to see all the hidden emotions. Then his eyes were back to the cold, black orbs they’d been when I arrived.
I took a small step back, stunned.
“What did you do?” Trent’s tone was more like barely controlled rage.
“You’re blinded by her,” Jax said. He stood chest to chest with Trent. “I know how this ends. I’m saving you the pain and heartache of having to mourn the woman you love. You should be thanking me.”
“Thanking you?” Trent snarled. “I’m going to kill you!”
He shoved Jax, who flew through the air. He slammed against a tree a few feet away, but the crack of the bark was like thunder. In a flash, Jax was back, crouched in front of Trent, fangs bared. They circled each other, snarling and growling, eyes black as melted tar.
My heart lodged in my throat, and I slowly took a few more steps back. With a guttural roar, Jax tackled Trent to the ground. They both moved so fast it was all a blur. Until Jax lifted his head and looked at me. His mouth was covered with blood. Trent stood a few steps away, hand over his neck.
Bile rose in my throat, and I turned away, horrified.
“Look at me,” Jax screamed. “This is what we are, Chloe. You can’t hide from it. You can’t pretend we’re not monsters. Is this the life you want? Because this is what you’re going to get if you stay here.”
“Leave her alone!” Trent lunged at Jax.
Fear momentarily crippled me, but then adrenaline kicked in, and I took off at a dead run. My legs trembled, and my muscles screamed in protest at the effort of carrying me at such a fast pace, but I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t look back. I needed to get away. From everything and everyone.
“Chloe.” Trent’s arms slid easily around my stomach, and he lifted me off my feet.
“Let me go.” I kicked my legs.
“Stop.” He set me on my feet but kept a firm hold on me. “Please stop and talk to me.”
I wiped at my face, eager to get rid of my tears. If I never cried another day in my life, it would still be too soon. But they continued to fall, my efforts to stop them useless.
“I’m sorry,” he said, taking my face in his hands and wiping my tears with his thumbs. “I lost control back there, and I shouldn’t have.”
I risked a look at his face—he wasn’t the angry, violent creature from a moment ago. He was simply Trent again in all his handsomeness. My lips trembled, and all the fight left my body. I was utterly exhausted.
“I didn’t mean to frighten you,” he said.
I nodded, but my mind was blank, and I was numb.
“Please say something.” The pleading in his voice was what broke me.
I dropped to my knees, buried my face in my hands, and sobbed uncontrollably. My mother was dead, and I was never going to see her again. I’d realized that when I was moment’s away from my own death, and she wasn’t there. She was a nothing but a pile of ashes in a stupid, ugly urn on my dresser.
My father, who’d forgotten I’d existed for the last ten years, was suddenly back in my life. He wanted to take me away from a home I’d grown accustomed to, a home with three people who loved me and actually wanted me around. A home where I had family and friends. I belonged here.
I was in love with a guy who’d never age or die. A guy who was wonderfully perfect in every way imaginable. A creature of legends. A vampire. And he loved me, but we could never be together because he was cursed. I started to hyperventilate. This wasn’t my life. It couldn’t be.
“Chloe?” Trent kneeled in front of me. “Please tell me what to do. Tell me how I can make this better for you.”
“You can’t,” I whispered.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN:
Too Painful
TRENT SCOOPED ME UP IN HIS arms, carried me to his truck, and then drove me home. He’d barely gotten the truck in park when Aunt Beth, Uncle Dean, and my father came running out of the house.
“Chloe. Don’t you dare take off like that again,” Aunt Beth admonished, but there was no force behind her words.
“Sorry. I needed some time.”
“That’s it. We’re leaving tonight. Right now.” Dad pointed to emphasize his words. “Get your stuff, Chloe.”
“No.” I took Trent’s hand. “Not until I get a chance to say goodbye.” Those words were vile on my tongue.
“So you can take off again? I don’t think so. Get inside, young lady,” Dad demanded.
“That’s enough, Frank.” Uncle Dean’s voice boomed like a bullhorn. “She may be your daughter, but this is still my house.” He turned to me. “Say your goodbyes, Chloe, and then come inside.”
“Thank you.” I frowned, fighting to hold back a fresh wave of tears.
Uncle Dean nodded, then ushered everyone back inside, my father included. When I was sure we were alone, I turned to Trent. This was it—I had to say goodbye.
“I can’t.” My shoulders shook with sobs, and I buried my face in my hands.
From the moment I’d learned the truth about Trent, I knew we were headed for disaster. I just never imagined it would happen this soon.
“I can’t,” I repeated, shaking my head.
Trent wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tightly against his chest. He didn’t tell me to calm down or that everything would be okay. I wouldn’t have believed him if he had. Instead, he simply held me while I cried, gently stroking my back and placing soft kisses to the top of my head.
After all we’d been through, how could I walk away? How could I move clear across the country and go on like nothing had happened, like he hadn’t—and wasn’t—an integral part of my life?
And how could my father, who claimed to love me, ask me to? If he really wanted what was best for me, why couldn’t he disappear like he had when I was a child? Back then, I would’ve done anything to have my dad in my life. Now… I couldn’t care less if he were around.
I wanted him to go away.
I wanted to stay in Keene Valley with my friends. With Aunt Beth and Uncle Dean, who had quickly become like parents to me. With Abby, who was the sister I never had. With Trent, the guy I loved more than anything.
“Chloe,” he whispered.
Hearing my name like that, so soft and loving and full of wonder set off another round of gut-wrenching sobs. Would I ever stop crying? He carefully pulled away and held me out at arm’s length.
I stared up into his clear blue eyes and waited for him to speak. My already raw, jagged heart shattered a little more as he stared back at me, unspeaking. Unflinching. It was moments like this when I despised his ability to appear so emotionless.
He trailed his fingers down the side of my face, catching the tears that wouldn’t seem to stop. “Please don’t cry.”
I couldn’t force a single word past my trembling lips, knowing if I tried, I’d end up as a heap on the ground again.
“Maybe this isn’t so bad,” he said.
“Not so bad?” I whispered, horrified. “My dad is forcing me to go live with him. In California. How is that not bad?”
A sad, almost imperceptible smile hinted at his features. “You’ll be safe in California.”
I jerked away from him with a gasp. “You want me to go?” I searched his face for any sign that I was wrong, that I’d misinterpreted what he said. “Earlier, you said you wanted to claim me as your soulmate, and now you’re saying you want me to go?”
“Of course, I don’t want you to go.” He s
hoved his hands into his pockets. “Everything I do, every breath I take, every decision I make is for you. I can’t not put you first, Chloe. It’s physically and emotionally impossible. And what I want doesn’t matter if it conflicts with doing whatever’s necessary to keep you happy and safe.”
“I am happy. Here. With you.” I hung my head.
Had I been wrong about the depth of his feelings for me? He’d told me he loved me, that he wanted to claim me as his soulmate. And now he was just going to let me go so easily? He wasn’t even trying to find a way to get me to stay.
“I know, but it’s not safe for you here. What if Isach comes back and tries to finish what he started?” He paced away from me, his posture rigid and his muscles tense. “You almost died. Because of me. Because I dared to love you, and I will not spend the rest of my existence knowing I ruined your life.” His tone was pure venom. He spun around, his eyes nearly black.
I fumbled back a step. “That’s where you’re wrong.” Fresh tears welled up in my eyes. “My life was already ruined when I met you, Trent. It’s only because of you that I’m truly living right now.”
In a flash, he had my face in his hands and his lips on mine. I closed my eyes with a groan and leaned into him. Feelings of utter despair slammed into me so hard I stumbled, but Trent locked his arms around me, holding me steady. Grounding me. Reminding me that I wasn’t alone.
And then, slowly, love and desire swirled, wrapping around us like a living, breathing thing. I didn’t care what he said or how he tried to justify his thoughts—he loved me as much as I loved him, and he didn’t really want me to go.
“Chloe.” He rested his forehead to mine, his voice strained.
“I love you,” I said before he could say anything else that would convince me he might be right about this situation.
“I love you, too. More than I’ve ever loved anything or anyone.” He placed a tender, lingering kiss to my forehead, then each of my eyelids. “Which is exactly why you need to go with your father.”
“No.” I shook my head adamantly. “I won’t go.” What was with the people I loved and trusted suddenly turning their backs on me?
“There’s no future for us, Chloe.” He effortlessly removed my death grip from his shirt and held my hands in his. “Even if you wanted to become what I am, I can’t change you. I won’t. I am not going to let you become a monster like Hannah.”
A shiver of fear raced up my spine. I swallowed hard against the bile rising in my throat. He was right about that—I didn’t want to be a vampire. But that didn’t mean we couldn’t be together. There was another way. There had to be.
“And I won’t steal the life I know you want. The life you deserve. I can’t be that selfish,” he said.
“You have no idea what I want.” I pulled my hands from his and crossed my arms over my chest as if trying to prevent him from tearing out my heart.
I had fully expected him to be as angry and upset as I was—not to side with my father and force me to leave. My tears gave way to anger, and I dropped my arms to my sides, curling my hands into fists.
“I know you want to go to college and travel and have kids… You want to grow old with the love of your life by your side. And one day, when you’re old and gray, when you’ve lived your life and have grandkids and great-grandkids who all love you, only then will you be ready to leave this world behind and see your mom again.”
I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to hold back more tears. He was right, about all of it. But I hadn’t told him my dream of seeing my mom again was as dead as she was. Not that it mattered anymore. My life was crumbling in front of me, and I was powerless to stop it.
“We both know I want to be the guy to give you those things, but I can’t. I’m just the guy who has to let you go so you can find someone who can,” he said sadly.
His emotions played out across his face, clear as day, and he was downright tortured. I stood there, staring at him, wishing I could take away his pain, wishing things were different between us. But they weren’t. They never would be.
That realization was like a wrecking ball to my already fragile heart. So long as he was cursed, he could never love anyone the way he was meant to. He was doomed to be alone, or to consistently lose those he loved.
And as long as I wanted to stay human, I would age and die while he remained frozen in beautiful perfection. Was it fair to ask him to spend years of his existence with me, knowing one day he’d have to mourn me? Wouldn’t that be harder than saying goodbye now, before either of us fell any harder?
“Let me give you the freedom to have the life you deserve,” he said.
My entire body slumped. “How can I leave and pretend none of this happened? I can’t just forget about you.”
He pinned me with a look that had ice forming in my veins. He couldn’t seriously be thinking what I thought he was. Could he?
I took a step back. “No.”
“It will be easier for you this way.”
“No,” I said again, but my voice cracked, giving away my traitorous thoughts.
If I let him manipulate my mind and erase himself from my memory, it would be as if the past few months had never happened. I could wipe the slate clean and leave all my pain behind. I could go to California with my dad and start over. But was the cost of forgetting my first true love worth it?
He held up his hands in a show of surrender. “I would never do anything you don’t want me to. You know that. But please, at least consider it.”
“If I let you do this…” I took a deep breath. “You’d still remember me?”
“Yes.” He nodded. “And I wouldn’t want it any other way. I don’t ever want to forget you, Chloe. I simply want you to be happy.”
I took a few hesitant steps toward him. It wasn’t lost on me that this might literally be the very last time I ever saw him, touched him, kissed him. Knew him.
“Will I ever see you again?” I asked.
“If you do, you won’t know who I am. It will be like a really strong sense of déjà vu, but you won’t figure out who I am or how you know me.”
I cupped my hand over my mouth to stop from sobbing. “And you’d be okay with that? You’d really do this for me?”
“I’d drive a stake through my heart if you asked me to.”
I momentarily closed my eyes, remembering he’d said something similar when he thought I was afraid of him. He was being completely selfless, and I was grasping, hanging onto anything so I could keep him in my life, so that I wouldn’t have to endure the pain of saying goodbye. The guilt he still felt about the whole Hannah situation played out on his face, rivaled only by the pain I knew he was in. His gaze was pleading and sad.
Trent had given me so much, more than he could ever know, simply by being in my life. And all he wanted in return was for me to live. To be happy. That was the least I could give him, wasn’t it? My chest ached with what I knew I had to do.
I flung myself into his arms, and he caught me as our lips met in a firestorm of short, heated kisses. His arms were safe and comfortable. There was no way I’d be able to move on with the memory of him haunting me. I rested my hands on his waist, and he slowed the kiss, deepening it until the sweet, unique taste of him was completely and totally branded on my lips.
Breaking away with a sob, I buried my face against his chest. “Make me forget.”
His entire body tensed, and then with languid deliberateness, he dragged his hands up my back to rest on my shoulders before cradling my neck. Titling my head so I was looking at him, he asked, “Are you sure?”
My mouth was suddenly dry, and I swallowed. “Yes.” But I wasn’t. Not even close.
He caressed my cheeks with his thumbs and lowered his head, his gaze locked with mine. I was powerless to look away, not that I wanted to. He gave one quick nod, like he wasn’t sure he’d be able to go through with it if he prolonged it a second longer.
“I will always love you, Chloe.” His lips brushed featherlight
across mine. Once. Twice. Three times.
And then…
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT:
A New Beginning
I STOOD IN THE MIDDLE OF my bedroom, slightly dazed and wholly confused. I blinked several times and glanced around. What had I come up here for? Right, I had to pack my stuff so I could leave with Dad. I flopped down on my bed and glanced around my room. At least I didn’t have a lot of stuff to take with me.
I’d better get to it before he yelled at me. Not that I cared, but with the way my head throbbed, I didn’t want to listen to him. Stretching my sore legs, I noticed patches of dirt on my jeans, like I’d been kneeling outside. I studied the spots and then brushed away the dirt. When did that happen?
“Can I come in?” Abby stood in the doorway, a tissue clutched in her hand.
The sight of her brought fresh tears to my eyes. We’d had our problems, but they weren’t anything we hadn’t been able to get past. She was the sister I’d never had, and now I had to leave her, too.
I stood and hugged her. “I don’t want to go.”
“I know. I don’t want you to go, either.” We embraced for a long while. She was the first to pull away. “You’ll call and text and email, right?”
“Yes.”
“And visit?”
“If I’m allowed to. Maybe you could come to California and visit me?” I doubted my father would be on board, but it couldn’t hurt to ask.
“I’ve never been to the ocean.” She gave a weak, tear-filled laugh.
“Will you, um, tell Ellie and everyone what happened? I won’t get a chance to see any of them again.” That realization was like a rusty knife to my heart. None of this was fair.
Abby nodded. “Of course. Make sure you keep in touch with them, too.”
“I will.”
Silence stretched between us. Abby had lost her best friend this year, and now I was being forced out of her life. Her year wasn’t shaping up to be any better than mine.
She blew out a breath and moved farther into my room. “Want some help packing?”
Eternal Curse: (The Cursed Series, Book 1) Page 31