Rosie raised her hand. “It’s not really a big deal, but I didn’t vacuum my carpet today.” She looked over at Angelina. “My husband had a strict rule that I had to vacuum every day. I realized last week I was still doing it. Not because the carpet needed cleaned but out of habit. So I stopped.”
“Good for you, Rosie.” Cooper gave her a thumbs-up. “Celebrate the victories no matter how small they may seem. Each victory moves us a step forward. For Angelina and Stephen, coming to the meeting was a great victory. And we applaud you for that decision.”
They clapped, and Fred even threw in a yahoo.
“So coming here was your victory. What was your struggle, Angelina?”
“Coming here.” Angelina smiled.
Cooper laughed. “There you have it. So your goal for next week is to come back to the meeting. Think you can handle it?”
“Well, I did it tonight, so I think I can do it again next week.”
Rosie patted her arm. “Good attitude.”
After they each shared a victory and a struggle, the group ended with a prayer.
She was at her car when she heard footsteps approaching. Her pulse ramped up.
“Hey, Angelina.” Cooper stopped several feet from her. “I just wanted to thank you for staying for the meeting even though it’s not what you were expecting. If you give it time, it will help. I promise.”
“I was afraid it would be a sermon or something.”
“Not at all. But God should be a part of every area of our lives. Especially our healing. I have regular office hours here at the church. Feel free to drop in during the week if you need some extra support. Or if you’d like to talk about your relationship with God.”
A relationship with God? What did that even mean? “Thanks.” After Cooper walked away, she slid into her seat. She was just about to put her car in gear when someone knocked on the window.
Stephen Smith. The other newcomer.
She rolled the window down. “Hey, Angelina. I thought you might want to grab a cup of coffee with me. Seems as if we have a lot in common.”
“I’m sorry. I really can’t.”
He looked disappointed. “OK, maybe another time.”
She drove off.
12
“I made muffins this morning.” Keren stood at Angelina’s door with a bowl. She waved it under her nose. “They didn’t turn out half-bad for a first effort. Banana walnut.”
“They smell great.”
“Got some coffee to go with them?”
“Not yet, but I can make some.”
“I’m liking this not working thing. Of course, I’ll start looking for a job. Soon. I have no plans to live off your generosity. But not quite yet.” Keren smiled.
“Don’t find a job on my account. If you don’t want to work, it doesn’t matter to me.” Angelina walked over to the small kitchenette area.
“You shouldn’t be living in this tiny place. It’s just not right. I really feel bad. Why don’t you move in with us? There’s more than enough room.”
“I’m fine here, Keren. And I’ve imposed on you and Peter long enough.”
“Imposed? We’re the ones living in your house. Which I might add is an amazing house. I can’t believe how big it is. You were much too kind to let us live there when you’re the one who should be. Instead of living in this glorified attic.”
Angelina held up a box with assorted coffee containers. “What’s your poison? French vanilla. Mocha caramel. Or just plain old black?”
“French vanilla for me.”
Angelina picked a package out of the box and placed it in the gourmet coffeemaker. She’d given up a lot when she’d moved in here, but she wasn’t giving up her coffeemaker. She placed a cup under the machine and then found another cup for herself. “I think I’ll have mocha caramel.” A few moments later, she handed the coffee-filled mug to Keren. “The truth is I like it here. Don’t ask me why, but I feel safe. Nobody can sneak in without me knowing it. There’s only one door in and out. And since it’s above the garage, they can’t just crawl in through a window.”
“Well, if you say so. But whenever you’re ready to move back into your house, let us know. It’s not like there isn’t room enough for all of us. So how was your meeting last night? Probably pretty lame, right?”
“It was OK. The people seemed nice.” Angelina picked up her mocha caramel and walked to a chair.
Keren followed behind with her own cup.
Angelina tore off a bite of the muffin and popped it in her mouth. She grinned and gave a thumbs-up as flavor burst on her tongue.
Keren rolled her eyes. “Nice? They were probably losers.”
“Yeah, losers like me.” She sipped her coffee. Perfect.
Keren’s face reddened. “I didn’t mean it like that. You’re not a loser. You have a right to…well, you know what I mean. You went through so much. It’s all right if it’s taking you some time to adjust.”
“One thing I learned last night is that I’m not the only person in the world to whom bad things have happened. Bad things happen to lots of people and they survive.” She swallowed another bite of her muffin. “Maybe I can, too.”
“Of course, you will, sweetie. I know you will.”
“It turned out to be a faith-based group.”
“What’s that mean?”
“The preacher is one of the leaders of the group. He says God wants to be part of everything in our lives, especially our healing.”
Keren shrugged. “So now that you’ve kept your promise, I guess you don’t have to go back any more.”
“It’s not like I have a whole lot else to do. I’ll probably go a few more times. It can’t hurt. And who knows? It might actually help.”
“I sure wouldn’t want to have to talk to a room full of strangers about…” Keren shuddered. “About all the horrible things that man did to you.”
“It’s not like that. I don’t have to talk about anything if I don’t want. It’s more about encouraging us to not give up on living.”
“I guess that’s all fine and dandy. It just seems like a waste of time to me.”
“Well, I have plenty of time to waste. That’s for sure.”
“Well, I don’t. That house is so huge, and it takes me forever to clean it, so I’ve got to get going or I won’t be done in time for dinner.”
“Oh, Keren, I’m so sorry. You’re right. It is too big for one person to clean. I’ll call the cleaning company today to help you out.”
“That’s not what I meant. I wasn’t complaining at all. I love living there.”
“I know. Will two mornings a week be enough?”
“More than enough. You’re just too nice to me. So what are your plans for the day?”
“Not much. Maybe I’ll take a drive later.”
“A drive? That doesn’t sound like you.”
“Gotta start doing things differently if I want a different sort of life.” Baby steps.
~*~
Angelina sat in her car, not quite believing she was here. What had she been thinking? Of all the places to end up when she’d decided to drive around. She should go home. On the other hand, she was here, so she might as well go in. She stepped out of her car and walked up to the church for the second time in two days. Her heart pounded as she knocked on the office door marked with Cooper Stone’s name.
A moment later, the door opened. Cooper’s eyes widened, but then he smiled. “Angelina. What a wonderful surprise. Please, come in.”
“I don’t want to be a bother. If you’re busy…”
“Not busy at all.” He opened the door wider. “Want something to drink? Coffee or water. I might be able to scare up a soda if you like.”
“No, thanks.”
“Please sit down.” He motioned toward a chair.
Instead of walking to the chair behind his desk, he sat down in the other one near her. “So, how are you today? Still processing the meeting?”
“A little. It was a lot
to take in. But I’m glad I came. I guess.”
“I’m glad you did, too. Life can be really hard. It’s always good to have other people in your corner rooting you on.”
“I was wond…you talked about…” She smiled. “I’m not really sure why I even came today.”
He folded his hands on his lap. “Take all the time you need to spit it out.”
“I guess you’re not making it easy for me.”
He shook his head. “Not my job.”
“It’s been a long time since I went to church. Actually, since my parents died. But I believe in God. I consider myself a Christian, I suppose. My parents were very involved in our church.”
“How did they die?”
“Plane crash. At the same time.”
“I’m so sorry. That must have been awful for you.”
“It was. I was sixteen at the time. I just sort of started to take care of myself at that point. Kept going to school and stuff.”
“That’s impressive. So they were very involved in church before that. And yet you stopped going after they died. Why is that?”
“I don’t know.”
He nodded. “During a tragedy, we either turn to God for support or turn away from him in anger. Would you agree with that?”
She nodded. “I never thought about it like that consciously. It was more a case of thinking, why bother. I had more important things to worry about than going to church. More important things to do.”
“But now, you’re thinking God might be the answer to your problems.”
“Maybe. All I know is that I’m just so tired of my life.” She rolled her eyes. “Who am I kidding? I don’t really have a life anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t do anything. I don’t go places. I don’t work. I don’t have a life. I don’t visit with friends.” She paused. “To tell the truth, I don’t think I even have any friends. Anymore. Not real ones. A few called after…after...after my incident. But they stopped when I didn’t return their calls.”
“That probably hurt you.”
She shrugged. “They’re busy. And I’ve changed a lot so it’s OK. I don’t think I have a lot in common with them anymore.”
He lifted up his Bible. “Ever hear about sowing and reaping?”
“Maybe.” She smiled. “Not really.”
“Sowing and reaping is one of God’s most important principles. Anyone can change their life at any time, if they start sowing different seeds than what they’ve been doing.”
“What do you mean?”
“Think of our actions as seeds. If we sow selfish seeds, then we get more selfishness in our life. From ourselves and from others. But if we sow seeds of kindness, then we start reaping that kindness as well.”
“Sort of like doing good will to all?”
He nodded. “Galatians six nine says, ‘Let us not become weary in doing good for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.’ I think it’s time for you to do some sowing. But know that sowing always brings a harvest. In God’s time.”
“Any ideas how I’m supposed to do that?”
He grinned again. “Indeed, I do.” He pulled out several sheets of papers stapled together. “Here’s a list of volunteer programs in the area. Most of them are always in need of people. Look them over and pick one. But my advice is to do it today. Tomorrow you’ll find an excuse to put it off until later. And then another excuse and another.”
13
Angelina’s heels clicked on the faded black and white checked linoleum as she made her way down to the classroom she’d been assigned. Now that she was here, she was regretting her impulsivity. What had she been thinking?
Room 207.
Her hand moved up to the knob but didn’t actually connect with the door. Her gaze flitted up and down the hall. No one was around. She could turn and leave.
Go back to her car and go home. The only place she felt relatively safe. It had come as a surprise to her, but the tiny apartment over the garage actually did feel safe. Almost as safe as the clinic.
The garage apartment had been built to house the down-on-their-luck employees their parents hired. Over the years, the apartment had been shelter to a few chauffeurs, a gardener, even a maid. Her family believed in helping others since they’d been blessed more than most.
Another reason why she’d picked this volunteer program from the list Cooper gave her. Their purpose was to read to children who might not get read to at home. The goal was to instill a love of reading and, therefore, create a reader.
Help others less fortunate than herself. It had been her family’s mantra.
She’d forgotten it and certainly hadn’t been living it.
Cooper was right.
It was time to stop focusing on herself and help someone else for a change.
She stared at the classroom door. But maybe not quite yet. She’d call the school later and make some excuse up about why she couldn’t follow through on the volunteer program right now. Chicken. You’re just a chicken.
She took a deep breath and knocked.
The door opened. The teacher was all smiles. “Good morning. You must be Angelina. I’m Deb, or Miss Dawkins to the children.” She leaned closer. “I saw you standing out there and thought you might be having second thoughts. Glad you decided to come in.”
“Last minute jitters.”
“No reason to have them. The kids will love you.” She put a hand on Angelina’s arm and guided her to the front of the class. “Class, this is Miss Angelina. She’s here to have some fun with us. She’ll be reading some great stories with you.”
The kids clapped.
Angelina’s anxiety level dropped a notch or two. This might not be so bad after all.
“OK, who wants to be in Miss Angelina’s reading group today?”
Every child raised their hand except one little boy. He simply stared down at his desk.
“Break into your groups as usual. Miss Angelina will pick three of you to sit with her in the reading corner.” Miss Dawkins pointed at the far corner of the room where a bean bag chair sat. A big bright red and yellow sign announced it was the READING CORNER.
The students picked up chairs and formed circles. Each group had five to six children in it. As they seated themselves, they gave her hopeful looks. A few even pointed at themselves trying to get her to pick them.
Angelina chose a beautiful little African-American girl with braids all over her head. Then she picked a boy who couldn’t sit still, and finally she went over and touched the shoulder of the little boy who hadn’t raised his hand.
The other kids moaned.
“Don’t worry. She’s coming in twice a week. Everyone will get their turn sooner or later.” Deb winked at her and then mouthed, ‘they love you.’
Angelina’s little group made their way to the back of the room. The little girl took a dive and landed in the bean bag chair. The two boys picked up their own pillows and made themselves comfortable.
What was she supposed to do now?
“Now, I wonder where I’m supposed to sit,” she mused aloud.
“You can sit here with me.” The girl scooted over.
“That sounds like a wonderful idea, but I’d better find a book first.” She looked over at the sad little boy. “What’s your favorite book?”
He shook his head.
Her gaze moved to the other boy. “What about you?”
He jumped up and ran to the bookshelf. A moment later, he handed her a book. “Where the Wild Things Are. OK, I’ve never read this one. It looks scary.”
“It’s not scary.” The little girl declared. “Well, not too scary. Just a little.”
Angelina sat in the bean bag chair.
The little girl smiled, obviously happy Angelina had chosen to sit with her.
“Before we get started, tell me your names.”
The girl poked Angelina in the arm. “My name is Latasha.”
“Nice to me
et you. I love your braids.”
Latasha’s smile grew even bigger as her dark brown eyes sparkled.
Angelina pointed at the boy on the right side of the bean bag. “And yours?”
“I’m Robert English the Third, but everybody calls me Bobby.” He pointed at the other boy. “This is Charles. He doesn’t like to talk very much.”
Angelina smiled at Charles. “Is that right? You don’t like to talk?”
He stared down at his lap, not responding to her.
She leaned forward. “That’s OK. You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to. But can you shake my hand so I know you’re happy to meet me.”
After a long moment, he reached his hand toward her.
Afterwards, Angelina walked down the hall with a smile. That was the most fun she’d had in a long time. There might just be something to this sowing and reaping thing Cooper had talked about. She smiled at the policeman walking toward her.
He stopped and stared. “Angelina?”
She stopped and stared. “Nate. I’m so sorry I didn’t recognize you in your uniform. And I wasn’t really paying attention.”
“Don’t worry about it. I almost didn’t recognize you either. You look great.”
“Yeah, I didn’t look so great the last time you saw me.” She gave a half-smile.
His face flushed. “That’s not what I meant. You just…look different. I think you changed your hair or something.”
She touched the short wedge cut that was now back to her natural brown. “Yea, blonde was Ange. This is Angelina’s hair color.”
“I like it. It looks great on you. How are you?”
“Fine.” The response seemed automatic.
“I’ve been thinking about you but wasn’t sure if I should call or not.”
She wouldn’t admit she’d wanted him to call. “That’s OK.”
“So when did you get out of the clinic?”
“Last week. Dr. Markley said I needed to live alone so I moved home.”
“That’s good. So you’re feeling better? Dr. Markley helped?”
“A little, I guess. It’s been difficult. Really difficult. Dr. Markley assures me it won’t always be that way.”
“I’m not surprised after all you’ve been through.” He checked his watch. “I have a little time before I have to get back to work. Why don’t we go get a cup of coffee? And maybe a doughnut?”
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