“She’s a grown-up woman. Trust me, you kissing her and then not being interested in her isn’t the worst thing a guy has done to her. But don’t be a schmuck about it. You can still be nice to the girl. It’s good practice for you since you struggle so much in this area,” she winked at me as if I had some sort of problem being nice to women.
I was nice to women. Hell, I even flirted with them and I’d gone on some dates. Women were beautiful creatures and I couldn’t help being nice to them or at least most of them. Okay, sometimes I wasn’t all that nice but that was usually because of a situation and I couldn’t be expected to be nice to everyone all of the time.
“Let’s drop this for now, I don’t want to talk about it in front of the kids and…”
“Talk about what?” Jackson asked as he appeared in the entryway.
“Your Dad doesn’t want to talk about dating women in front of you,” Samantha blurted out as if she had the right to bring up such a subject in front of the kids.
“That’s enough, Sam,” I said firmly. “We aren’t talking about this,” I snapped loudly at her.
The mood in the room quickly deflated with my loud booming voice. I wasn’t about to talk about dating women in front of my son who had lost his mother. This wasn’t the time or place. That sort of conversation should be done with just me and the children and only when I was sure I wanted to start dating again. I was still very unsure of the whole dating world and at the moment I was trying to throw a Christmas party and prove to my family that I had my shit together again emotionally. The last thing I needed was to start dating anyone at this time in my life.
“Wow, Dad, chill out. It’s just dating. You should get out there more often. Seriously, Jenna and I would love it if you went on dates.”
“What?”
“Dad thinks we don’t want him to date,” Jackson yelled into the great room and I heard Jenna yell something back but I couldn’t understand her.
“She says you’re dumb,” Jackson replied.
“I didn’t say he’s dumb,” Jenna said as she walked in. “I said you should have been dating years ago and it’s dumb to think we wouldn’t want you to find someone to love again. Dad, we want you to be happy.”
“So you guys would be okay if I brought some strange woman home to meet you?” I asked skeptically.
“First of all, I know you, Dad,” Jenna handed baby Eve back to Samantha. “I know that you wouldn’t even stop working to go on a date with a woman unless she was pretty amazing. So if you met someone that you liked enough to bring home and bone, I think we would like her too.”
“Jenna!” I shook my head at her talking about me boning anyone.
“Dad we are sixteen, not stupid,” Jackson added.
“Can we please just eat and stop talking,” I laughed. “I can’t handle my children having this conversation right now.”
“You don’t like us talking about sex?” Jenna teased. “Do you have condoms, Dad? Safe sex is the only kind of sex you should ever have,” she repeated from my one and only sex talk I’d had with the two of them when they turned sixteen.
“Stop.”
“Dad, being with a girl is a natural thing. You need to wait until you’re in love though,” Jackson joined in on the sex talk replay.
“I don’t want you to feel like it’s unnatural. I also don’t want you rushing into something that you are not ready for,” Jenna continued.
“Please make it stop,” I laughed and covered my ears.
Samantha was nearly in tears she was laughing so hard and both of the kids broke out laughing too. This was the sort of family time I loved with them. As much as I really did hate hearing my children talk about sex at all it was reassuring that they had remembered the conversation we had. Perhaps I had done something right with them in having our little sex talk after all.
“Why don’t you two set the table while your father recovers,” Samantha suggested through her laughter.
“They are getting so big,” I said. “I guess it’s good they want me to date but honestly I am so busy at work. I’ll think about trying it again in the spring. Right now I just want this holiday season to be done with. I might have to go to Japan for this contract and this party is stressing me out. Ashley has texted me every day this week to check if I was still throwing the party.”
“Thomas, you have to understand where she’s coming from. You sort of left everyone hanging last time you tried to throw the party.”
Samantha was right and it wasn’t as if I’d planned to do a terrible job. I wanted to throw the party but day after day I was distracted by work and managing the kids. Before I knew it we were a day away from the party and I was trying to buy food online to be delivered for Christmas day. If it hadn’t been for Ashley we wouldn’t have had a party at all.
“I know. It’s just that she rubs it in my face like I’m an irresponsible loser. I run a billion dollar company and have raised two kids. I’m not incompetent.”
“I think you are labeling yourself with that. Ashley has never made it seem like you were anything but a busy man with a broken heart.”
“You like her more than me don’t you?” I joked.
“Yes, I like everyone more than you,” she laughed and went to sit at the table with the kids. “Finish up our dinner, we are starving.”
I really did love having Samantha come over for our family dinner once a week. Many of the other days during the week the kids were running around with school activities or I was running late at work. We hardly got a chance to eat as a family more than a couple times a week. Samantha and her husband Mike were part of our family.
Samantha was there from day one after Rose passed away. She literally took care of the kids for weeks when I could barely see straight. Both sets of grandparents were helping too and so many other friends and family, but it was Samantha who continued day after day, week after week, and year after year. She lived close to us and having her around was likely one of the reasons the kids had adjusted as well as they did.
I wasn’t always that nice to Samantha either. Hell, I wasn’t always nice to a lot of people, but Samantha stuck through the bad days and was always walking back through my door with a smile on her face. She didn’t take my shit, and she didn’t dwell on it either.
My mother thought Samantha and I were going to end up together. About three years after Roe passed away my mother was pushing me to take Samantha on a date. I liked her, she was an amazing woman and so we gave it a try. Dating was not our thing. The two of us were much more like a brother and sister duo and there wasn’t a romantic spark for either one of us. After three dates we both gave up the idea and decided friendship was the best option and we never regretted it.
“What’s for dinner?” Jackson asked eyeing the pan I was bringing to the table.
“Chicken pot pie. I made it from scratch,” I said with a straight face as everyone started laughing.
“And I’m the Queen of England,” Jenna joked with a British accent.
It was a running joke that I couldn’t cook. Every now and again I gave it a shot and I certainly had learned some meals that the kids liked, but I wasn’t the sort of guy who had the time or patience to make anything from scratch.
“Fine, I bought the crust and the filling is from a can, but I cooked it all by myself,” I puffed out my chest proudly.
“It looks delicious,” Samantha said putting Eve into the high chair we kept around just for her. “I think you did a very good job. Thank you for dinner.”
“Thanks for dinner, Dad,” Jackson said quickly scooping into the meal. That kid was so hungry all the time I couldn’t keep him full. The more he ate, the more he wanted to eat. It was like Jackson was a bottomless pit of teenage hunger.
“Thank you, Dad,” Jenna added.
I would like to think that I’d raised the kids well enough that they would always say please and thank you around others. Likely it was Samantha’s influence though. She modeled the proper behavior without ever telling
the kids what to do or not do, it was a skill I was still working on. Often I would yell or react poorly at first and then have to correct myself because I didn’t want the kids to think that acting in that way was alright for them. Sometimes I thought that having them was the only thing that kept me from being a terrible person.
“When will Niki be back?” Jenna asked. “I wrote down some things that I like and I’m supposed to give it to her.”
“I’m not sure.”
“She emailed me a few pictures of trees,” I said without adding anything else.
“Like tree’s you need to choose from? Did you respond to her? I thought you said you hadn’t heard from her?” Samantha asked.
“They were just trees. Actually, it seemed a little odd that she was even asking me. I don’t know that she has all that much experience in planning a Christmas party. She’s pretty young. I don’t have time to be answering constant questions because she doesn’t know what she’s doing.”
Samantha and Jenna both rolled their eyes at me. Oh, how many times those two had rolled their damn eyes at me; I couldn’t even count the number.
“You’re such a Grinch, Dad.”
“What?”
“I hope you’re not this grumpy around her all the time. I might want her to throw our graduation party,” Jenna raised her eyebrow as if I’d forgotten that she was texting me constantly about reserving the country club pool for her party. It was insane to me that she didn’t just want to have their party at our house. Why did we have such an amazing house if not to throw parties like that in it?
“I’m nice to her,” I smirked at Samantha as I replied. “I was really nice to her when she was here last.”
As if she felt us talking about her, I looked at my phone buzzing on the table and saw Niki’s name pop up. I looked around the table and saw everyone watching me to see if I would answer it. The rule was that we weren’t even supposed to have our phones at dinner but I’d forgotten and left mine sitting there while I cooked.
“Answer it,” Samantha urged.
“No phones at the table,” I replied.
“Answer it now,” she said and grabbed for the phone. I picked it up before she could get to it and swiped to answer Niki’s call.
“Hello,” I said trying to act casual as everyone stared at me around the table.
“Hi, um, this is Nicole. Nicole Normandy your party planner.”
“Yes, hello Niki. How are you?” I asked very awkwardly.
“I’m good. Thank you. I wanted to ask if you could come with me to a supply store tomorrow? I haven’t received an email back regarding the tree type that you would like and we could look at them there. I will bring my drawings too and you can look at some different themes in person. I think it will help you get a feel for what I would like to do and in the long run, it should save us time because I’ll know what you like and don’t like. I’m sure you’re a…”
“I am too busy,” I interrupted her. “I’m sorry, you’ll have to go alone.”
“Dad!” Jenna mouthed as if I’d just committed some terrible offense. She proceeded to put her head into her hands as she shook it back and forth.
“Say yes!” Samantha mouthed at me. “Don’t be an ass.”
“Um, I understand you’re busy. I really do think it will save time in the long run,” Niki said sweetly.
“How long will it take?”
“Maybe an hour, possibly two.”
“Fine. Text me the address and I’ll meet you there.”
“Great, thank you so much. I can’t wait to show you my designs too,” Niki sounded really excited and barely took a breath between sentences. “I’ve tried to incorporate what I think the kids would like and both of them have lists for me too. Could you bring those? And anything else you three would like to make sure and include? Also, please feel free to tell me if there is something you don’t want to be included. I’ll try my best to remember it all.”
“Okay, thanks. Have a nice day and text me the address to meet you. Goodbye,” I said and hung up the phone to the horror of everyone at the table.
“What was that Dad?” Jackson shrugged at me. “You really need to practice your female game. Even I’m less awkward on the phone with girls.”
“What?”
“You basically just hung up on her.”
“No, I didn’t. I was nice and agreed to meet at the store or whatever. Come one, I have a business to run. It isn’t like I can just take off for half a day and look at knick-knacks.”
“You should take her to lunch afterward,” Samantha added.
The three of them were clearly ganging up on me. It wasn’t like I was being rude. I simply kept the conversation short and to the point. If I let Niki talk as much as she wanted to I could have been on the phone for hours. That girl could chat better than Jenna could.
As I scooped myself some dinner I felt the eyes of everyone watching me and waiting for me to reply to Samantha. No, I wasn’t about to take Niki out to lunch. I’d already crossed a boundary with her and I couldn’t trust myself to not cross it again. Something about that girl just drove into me and made me a little less in control; I didn’t like not being in control.
“Sam’s right. You should take her to lunch,” Jenna added.
“She went out of her way to accept this job at the last minute. You can just say it’s to show your appreciation for that,” Samantha said without a knowing look.
“No.”
“Dad, don’t be a jerk about it. Everyone needs to eat lunch. You would take Matthew out to lunch if he was helping you.”
“No,” I stood firm in my decision. “I will not be taking her to lunch. With the amount of money I’m paying her she will have no problem buying her own lunch before or after our meeting. And no I would not take Matthew out to lunch. He eats lunch alone or he is the one getting me my lunch.”
“Well kids, at least you know he’s putting an effort in to not be a jerk,” Samantha sarcastically said. “He has put in the best effort he could. There is nothing more he could possibly do.”
“Yeah, it’s nice to know my father is setting a good example of how a man should treat a woman,” Jackson added.
“Totally, I hope the next guy who I like treats me just like my father is treating Niki,” Jenna joined in.
Wow, the three of them together were vicious. I knew not to respond though. This conversation would never end if I gave into them. Instead, I just grimaced and started eating my dinner.
It was hard not to smile at the looks of disappointment that the three of them were giving me as we continued with our dinner. They were joking and dramatic as they shook their heads and playfully shamed me for not giving in. I loved our family dinners and the little family we had. Nothing was as much fun as sitting around and getting razed by this group.
I did appreciate Niki taking the job. Honestly, if I hadn’t kissed her I would have been much more willing to consider offering lunch. But the fact of the matter was that I had kissed her and that kiss changed the dynamic greatly. It was one hundred percent my fault and I would live with those consequences, but I absolutely would not be taking Niki out on a lunch date.
Chapter 8
Niki
Wow, talking to Thomas did not go as well as I’d hoped. He was back to being not so nice again. I was confused as to why he had even kissed me. Clearly, he didn’t like me all that much. He didn’t respond to my email about the trees and obviously wasn’t eager to come to the supply store to help me finalize the design plan.
The whole week I couldn’t stop thinking about his lips on mine. The way his hand felt touching my skin was still replaying over and over in my head. The whole moment seemed so out of character for him; as if he wasn’t in control of his desire.
Thomas Hanover did not strike me as the sort of man who just went around kissing women. He was standoffish, brash, and crude at times with his remarks—not at all what a woman would want in a man who was kissing her.
Yet
, I’d melted at his touch. My body tingled for the entire drive home as I replayed the moment over and over in my head. The slight scratch from his two-day-old beard, the way his large hand sat on my arm, even the warm feeling of his tongue as it entered my mouth; all of it was on repeat in my brain.
When I finally got home I was literally wet with excitement from this man. A man that I wasn’t even sure I liked, yet I’d commented on his looks like some sort of school girl who had a crush.
Moving forward I had to stay more in control around this man. I couldn’t give in to random compliments that popped up in my head. I would be much more careful of what I said and did around him when he arrived at the supply warehouse today.
“Hi Niki, I’m so happy to see you,” Marshall, my supply warehouse account manager said as I arrived.
“That’s a beautiful dress. Must be a special client you’re entertaining today.”
“This old thing?” I laughed and instantly worried I was overdressed for the occasion.
“No, just some guy who needed a last minute Christmas party,” I shrugged. “You know how they are, always wanting everything done at the last minute when they have money. He didn’t even want to come to the warehouse today.”
“Yeah, I get you. Well, enjoy the visit and here’s a scanner for you.”
“Thanks, Marshall. I’ll come to find you when we are done. The delivery will be about an hour out of town. Any issues with that drive?”
“Not at all. We will charge for it of course.”
“Of course,” I laughed.
They charged for everything.
I made sure my clients had a clear understanding in the contract that the actual supplies and delivery of items were not part of my fee. Normally I didn’t get paid as much as Thomas was paying me, so I did have the ability to subtract decorations from my fee. There was a flat fee for my services and then I would recommend items to purchase and the clients could say yes or no.
This particular supply store gave the option of renting items or purchasing them. Most often people just rented the items. How many baby christening parties was a family really going to have? But every now and again there were a few accessories that clients loved and would decide to purchase and keep once they got them into their homes.
Mine on Christmas Page 8