She hoped she had bought herself a little time when she told Jack she had only inquired about him because she thought she knew Bartel. She had assured the newspaper owner that she was mistaken, and asked that he please not mention it to Mr. Bartel, as the man might get the wrong idea about her inquiry and it could look improper. All the way back from the newspaper office she had felt almost faint from nervousness that anyplace she turned, she could run into Henry Bartel. She had not left the restaurant since then, and for the past two nights she had thought about her options. What could she do about the man? Not only had she stolen from him, but he knew her real age, knew she had never been married to Toby. If Nolan Ives ever got wind of that, she would be in trouble, unless…
She knocked on the door to Ethan’s room, taking a deep breath for courage. She wouldn’t really be lying, would she? After all, she had missed him, and she did have special feelings for him. She just had not planned on acting on those feelings. She shivered at the thought of what bringing a man into her life meant sexually, but it was a small sacrifice, wasn’t it? And who better than Ethan?
The door opened, and Ethan stood there in denim pants and a blue calico shirt that was still unbuttoned, revealing a muscled chest and stomach. He looked surprised to see her. Allyson could not help glancing at his bare skin and remembered their last night together, and for a brief moment she wavered. She met his dark gaze then, and saw the curiosity there.
“Ethan. I…I just heard you were back. I came right away. I…” She smiled rather wistfully, reminding herself that it would not be so easy to fool Ethan Temple by flirting like she did with other men. He knew her too well, and what made it all the more awkward was the fact that this man had already been intimate with her. “I missed you…more than I thought I would.”
Ethan frowned, his defenses already alert. Something was different about her, but he wasn’t quite sure yet just what it was. He had only been back for a few minutes, planning to change and have a talk with the new man he had hired to watch the place at night. He figured if things were going fine, he would leave in a day or two for the Sioux reservation.
“You missed me, did you?” he answered. “Well, that’s a surprise. Something wrong? Did you have a run-in with Ives or something?”
“Oh, no! Nothing like that.” She couldn’t tell him the truth. She couldn’t beg this man to marry her just to save her business. He would be insulted. He had to believe it was what she really wanted. “I just…” She feigned embarrassment. “Ethan, I feel like a fool, after all the things I’ve said in the past…about us…about me…how I don’t want a man in my life.” She folded her arms, looking down at the floor. “I just got to thinking while you were gone, about you leaving soon for good and all that. I mean, I know it’s important for you to go up north, and I’d never stop you, but…” She raised her eyes to meet his, in all sincerity. “Ethan, I’d like you to come back after that. I’ve thought about it a lot while you’ve been gone, and I decided that as soon as you were back here I was going to tell you the truth and get it off my chest. I tried to ignore it because I’m afraid to depend on anyone else, afraid of men when it comes to—well, you already know. But you’re different. I’ve grown to trust you, even depend on you. And I…I have to tell you…I love you.” She turned away, pushing a piece of hair behind her ear. “There, I’ve said it.” She started to walk away.
Ethan came after her, took her arm and pulled her into his room, closing the door. He grasped her arms. “What the hell is this all about?”
Allyson met his eyes, her own filling with tears. She hoped he would believe the tears were because she loved him and didn’t want him to go away. Truth was, they were tears of fear—fear of Henry Bartel and what he could do to her—fear of losing all she had worked for. She needed a husband, and quick. Considering what a husband would expect of her, Ethan was the only man she could turn to, the only one she could bear to have in her bed. After all, he had already staked his claim, hadn’t he?
Earlier in the day she had checked with the land office, and the agent told her that if she married again, her land and business would by law belong to her husband. As far as she was concerned, that meant that no matter what was discovered about her, once she had a husband, no one could take away her land or her business. If that man was Ethan, he would never take it from her or make her sell it. They could just keep on working here together as they had been for the past several weeks. The worst she would have to do is pay Henry Bartel his three hundred dollars, and everything would be fine.
“It’s about me being a fool, trying to convince myself I can do this all alone,” she answered. “I’ve proven what I set out to prove, Ethan. That doesn’t mean I have to live alone the rest of my life. I know you have special feelings for me. You’ve tried to hide it, but you wouldn’t have come back here if that wasn’t true. We’ve both been fighting those feelings. It just took a few days away from you for me to realize that I don’t want you to leave again—not for good, anyway. I don’t care if you go see your relatives in the north.” She flung her arms around him, resting her face against his bare chest. “Just promise me you’ll come back.”
Ethan hesitantly moved his own arms to embrace her, his mind racing with confusion. He knew Allyson Mills could be a clever liar, but why on earth would she lie about something like this? It made no sense. “Ally, why don’t you tell me what’s really wrong?”
She raised her face to meet Ethan’s gaze, tears on her cheeks. This was something Ethan Temple could not help her with in the usual way. Guns and fists would not change what Henry Bartel knew. There was only one way he could help, but he would never marry her if he thought it was for anything but love. “Can’t a woman change her mind? Surely you’ve known all along I’ve been fighting my true feelings, Ethan. I was just afraid; but after all these weeks, I’m not afraid any more. Your being gone the last few days just opened my eyes to what I really wanted.” She pulled away, pretending to be embarrassed at having embraced him. “Maybe I’ve taken too much for granted. I…you told me last year…that night…you said you loved me. I figured, maybe you still do. In fact I, I hope you still do. After what we did, I was frightened.” She turned and looked at the floor again. “I insulted you because of that fear. I wanted the pain to go away—wanted you to go away, so I said something cruel. But I always regretted it, and ever since then…I’ve always felt like…like I belonged to you…because of what happened between us.”
It all seemed too good to be true, yet she seemed so sincere. All these months Ethan had dreamed about her, ached for her, imagined she would say something like this. He could think of no good reason whatsoever that she would be saying these things except that she must truly love him after all. What had seemed impossible when he left a few days ago was now his for the taking.
“Ally, I don’t know what to say.” He touched her shoulder, and she turned to embrace him again. Ethan kissed her hair. He already knew he loved her, wanted to settle, take a wife. A wife. Was she saying she was ready to marry him? “Ally, I can’t just say I love you and then keep working here without—”
“You don’t need to say it, Ethan.” She looked up at him. “I’m ready for whatever you want. Just don’t ask me to give up my business. You know how much it means to me. There are other women in town who help their husbands and still manage to take care of children. You do want children, don’t you, Ethan? Surely you don’t want to just wander the rest of your life.”
He searched her eyes, trying to determine if this was some kind of trick, but his heart would not let him see anything but love. “You saying you want to get married?”
She reached up and touched his face. “Whatever it takes to keep you here with me, to make you always come back to me. I’m afraid when you’re gone. It feels so good to let you hold me, to feel your strength, your—” Her words went unfinished. Ethan met her lips in a hot kiss that almost made Allyson forget the real reason she was going to marry this man. His warm lips parted her mouth
, bringing back memories of how pleasant and exciting it had been to let him do this once before. She told herself she could manage the pain, could overcome the bad memories. She had only to lie in this man’s bed and let him have his pleasure, and she and her business would be safe. That was not such a terrible price to pay. After all, Ethan did have a way of stirring strange desires in her.
He left her mouth, picking her up so her feet left the floor, then kissed her neck. “Tonight. Let’s get married tonight then,” he told her. “Out here in this country people have done stranger things. I’ve known widowed women to marry complete strangers just to have a man to take care of them and their children. You and I, we already know each other…” He kissed her eyes. “And I’ve already been inside you, woman. I want that again, Ally. I want you in my bed tonight.”
The words stirred a passion in her that surprised even Ally. She turned her face to meet his lips again, thinking how crazy all this was, but probably not to someone like Ethan. He was wild and determined, knew what he wanted. He was not a man to fuss with any proper formalities. He simply took what he wanted. This had all worked out even better than she had planned. Yes, do it quickly, before Ethan discovered the truth, before Henry Bartel came over here and found her. Do it quickly, before her friends found out, before there was time for the newspaper to pick up the story and print an article that the widow Mills was marrying again. Henry Bartel might see the announcement and could spoil things before Ethan was legally her husband and the owner of her property.
“Yes,” she whispered between kisses. “I’ll marry you tonight. There is no reason to wait, is there? We already know each other so well.”
Their lips met again in another hungry kiss, and Allyson realized that she liked it more than she thought she would. She certainly could not ask for a more handsome, more able man, nor one who would be kinder or more gentle, yet would always protect her.
Ethan laughed, swung her around, then picked her up full in his arms and carried her to his bed. He threw her on it, moved on top of her.
“No!” she protested with a smile. “I want it to be legal this time, Ethan. Let me go and clean up and change, and then we’ll go find the preacher. I know where he lives.”
Eager anticipation and gentle love shone in Ethan’s dark eyes. “Don’t take too long.”
“I’ll close up early.” She realized then that her hand was touching Ethan’s chest. She rubbed at it lightly, beginning to understand even more fully how easily a man could be manipulated. A little voice told her it was dangerous to try to fool someone like Ethan Temple, but once they were married, what difference would it make? A few tears, the right touches, and he would forgive anything. After all, he loved her. He would do anything for her. She would just have to get used to having to lie in his bed. Maybe she would even learn to enjoy it. After all, this much had been quite pleasant. “I have a ruby ring that was my mother’s,” she told him, “the only thing I have that belonged to her. I found it one day and hid it so my father couldn’t sell it to buy whiskey.” All the while she talked, he kissed her eyes, her cheeks, her lips, her neck. She had to admit that his virility, his bravery, and the way he touched her made her feel safe, loved. Something about his rather wild nature, the dark, dangerous look about him, excited her. “We can use it for a wedding ring until you can buy me a real one.”
Ethan grinned. He had not felt this happy since his wedding night with Violet. Whatever had compelled Allyson Mills to change her mind and realize she loved him was just fine with him. He had dreamed about this for over a year.
“Meet me back here at eight-thirty and we’ll go find the preacher, get him out of bed if we have to,” he said.
Allyson returned the smile. She looked so happy, felt so safe. It all seemed too good to be true, but here she was in his arms, returning his kisses, wanting to marry him. He had not had to fill her with whiskey first. This was the real Allyson, and she wanted him to be her husband, wanted to share his bed tonight.
He got up, pulling her to her feet. She grasped his hands then and squeezed them. “I love you, Ethan.” She turned and hurried out, and Ethan watched her disappear down the hallway. He closed the door again, leaning against it, breathing deeply. Hector would probably tell him he was crazy to marry a white woman, and maybe he was. A little voice warned him that all this time Allyson Mills had thought it was improper for a white woman to marry an Indian. What had changed her mind? He supposed she simply looked at him differently now because she knew him so well. They were good friends, and she had apparently gotten over the problem of his heritage. He was, after all, just a man, a man who loved her very much. He couldn’t see one thing wrong about it.
Stay away from it, Ethan. Hector’s words nudged at him, but the thought of waking up tomorrow morning with Allyson’s naked body lying beside him, that red hair spread out on his pillow, destroyed all his doubts, all his ability to reason. She had always had that affect on him, but it didn’t matter now. She loved him. Before the night was over, Allyson Mills was going to be Mrs. Ethan Temple.
Henry Bartel fixed his hat as he looked into the mirror in the entranceway of the rooming house. He had considered trying another one called Ally’s Place when he first got off the train in Guthrie, but he knew such a new town probably didn’t have a school, which meant the church would have to be used in the beginning. He had therefore deliberately sought out a rooming house near the only church in town so he would not have so far to walk to and from classes. Ally’s Place was several blocks away.
He thought the name was interesting. It made him think of Allyson Mills. “Ally” was what her brother had called her. He had given up wondering what ever happened to those two. He could only hope they had fallen into a terrible fate, something fitting for two little thieves who had stolen church money. He had often dreamed about finding them, but by the time he had finished delivering all the children from the orphan train, he had taken ill with a very bad cough that turned into pneumonia, and the others who had come with him had hurried him back to New York. He had been bedded down in the train’s caboose near the heating stove. It had been a miserable trip all the way around, but he figured he could make up for it in some respect if he could ever get his hands around Ally Mills’s pretty little throat.
The doctor in New York had told him he had to get away from the “bad air” of the city, and when his term of service at the orphanage was over, he had decided to come back out to this great, arid West to see if his health might improve. Besides, it felt good to get away from all those runny-nosed brats. He would be putting up with more brats out here when he started the school, but he was a good disciplinarian. He’d make them toe the line. At least these children would have families. He was tired of wild, unruly children who had known only street life or were so distraught over losing their parents that they were not like normal children at all. To hell with all of them. Better times were at hand. He liked it here in Guthrie. The air was better, and a man had opportunity out here.
“Going out, Mr. Bartel?” asked Chloris Deacon, the owner of the rooming house.
“Just for a little stroll. It’s a nice night.”
Mrs. Deacon smiled, and Henry turned toward the door, then looked back at the woman, wondering inwardly if there might be a way to get into her bed. She was about his own age and was widowed last year when her husband was killed when his wagon overturned. Over meals, the woman had not failed to tell him all about her ordeal, how she had risen above her sorrow and used the savings her husband had brought with them to start her own rooming house.
“Tell me, Mrs. Deacon, I’ve been so busy these first three days that I never thought to ask. Who runs that other boarding house? The one near the railroad depot? I used to know someone named Ally.”
“Oh, she’s the sweetest thing, so tiny and pretty. Her name is Allyson Mills, and she’s just a young thing. It’s such a tragedy, you know. Her young husband—I believe his name was Toby—was shot and killed the first day of the land rush
over a squabble about whether or not they had claimed their lots illegally.” She noticed Henry grow pale. “Mr. Bartel? Are you all right?”
Ally Mills! It couldn’t be! Henry struggled with his emotions, quickly deciding he must not alarm this woman. Maybe she was a good friend of Ally’s. Maybe she would tell her he was in town, and he didn’t want that—not if this Ally Mills was who he thought she might be. He’d like nothing better than to surprise her! “Yes. Yes, I’m fine,” he murmured, taking a handkerchief from his pocket and pressing it to his forehead. “It’s just an after-affect of the pneumonia,” he lied. “Sometimes I just suddenly break out in a sweat.” He turned away. “You say the woman was married? Toby Mills was her husband?”
“Yes, sir. So young they were, much too young to be married, but out here a person can expect to see anything.”
I’ll just bet, Henry thought. “Well, that doesn’t sound like the Ally I knew. What does she look like?”
“Oh, just a small thing, like I said. I’m not sure of her age, but she has to be over eighteen because that was the age you had to be to claim a lot. A very lovely young woman, she is, pretty blue eyes, beautiful red hair. There are a lot of men in town who would like to snag that one. She’s quite a little businesswoman. Started out just baking bread for people, now has a restaurant and a rooming house! Of course, it’s been easy for her to find men willing to provide free labor, which certainly helps.”
The last words were spoken with a hint of bitter sarcasm, but Henry hardly heard the woman. All he heard was blue eyes and red hair, a “husband” named Toby. It was her! Allyson Mills! All this time he had wanted to find her, and now she had fallen right into his lap! It was all he could do to keep from jumping with joy. The little bitch! “Well, that’s not the woman I knew,” he said, tipping his hat to Mrs. Deacon. “You keep this door locked now. I’ll be back within the hour.”
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