by Amy Daws
Micah shoved me back and Adeline grabbed my arm, tugging me further and further away. Chase gave me a discrete nod of approval as I retreated.
Blake’s green eyes narrowed as he took in the sight of Adeline’s hands wrapped around my arm. “Big mistake, Leo. Really fucking dumb,” he said still adjusting his prissy shirt.
I wrapped my fingers tightly with Adeline’s and laughed. It felt good. The fact that Blake walked around like he was running all of Manhattan was the biggest joke. He may be well connected, but what he didn’t realize was that I didn’t give a damn. I was so over this shit.
I twirled on my heel and ushered Adeline quickly through the gaping morons sprinkled all over the lawn watching the spectacle. I had to get her out of here. She was way too good for this fucked up scene. My hand grazed her bare back and her skin prickled with goose bumps.
We reached the yard and I snatched my jacket up off the ground where we haphazardly left it earlier in our wild and carefree romp. I turned and silently put it on her, then quickly grabbed my helmet and pushed it down on her head. Finally, for the first time since shoving Blake, I looked at her face.
Her eyes were wide and worrying. She was trying to stay strong but failing miserably. I pursed my lips and zipped my jacket up all the way to the top, tugging it up closely around her neck. She was swimming in it but at least she was covered.
“There’s not enough armor in the world to protect you from that shit,” I murmured angrily under my breath while I continued messing with the zipper.
Her helmet-covered head tilted forward and rested on my chest. I rubbed her arms soothingly and they began to quake beneath my touch with silent sobs.
CHAPTER 19 ~ Adeline
Why was it that the most carnal feelings outweighed the others, the more sensitive ones? Fantasies where Leo pummeled Blake played over and over in my mind. The way he charged Blake without hesitation. The way Leo defended me without question. My stomach fluttered. My head was at war with my heart, not knowing if I should feel excited that a man, that Leo, would do anything for me, or that I still was crushed by Blake.
I couldn’t see through all the tears. The harsh claws of betrayal were too fresh. It stung. Blake pretended not to know me—me! The man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. The man that I’d prepared to wake up next to day in and day out. The man to who I’d shared my bed. The man that even after a fucking year of separation still couldn’t associate with me. I didn’t even know if I was crying because I was angry, or because I was sad, or if it was some messed-up combination of both.
However, Leo seemed more assertive now than he had before. It was as if he’d stumbled onto some conclusion when I’d tripped on the can. I saw it when his eyes had zeroed in on Blake. Hatred embodied them when he defied Blake’s oh-so-subtle way of kicking me out of his life again. And even now, as the adrenaline rush passed, I still saw peril in his gaze, in his touch, as he whispered my name.
His adoration for me was a force not to be fucked with.
Another fugitive tear slid down my cheek, joining the dozens of others spilt tonight as my head rested on his chest. At least the helmet shielded them from his sight. I was so ashamed of myself that I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I couldn’t stand the sight of my reflection, and I had a hard time believing anyone like Leo could bear to look at me either.
“Blake was an absolute idiot to keep you a secret from anyone,” he stated like the last part meant more than a simple turn of phrase.
Nevertheless, I could think of a hundred reasons why he wouldn’t want to acknowledge our past. The top one being his wife. My humiliation was at its peak, and my guilt was immeasurable. I didn’t care if Blake had tricked me into thinking we could be together again. If his wife or anyone else would ever find out, the judgment and rancor in their eyes would be deserving. Even so, it would be nothing compared to the bitter disgust I bore in my soul. I thought better of myself than being an adulteress, regardless if I knew or not.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“Awful things that should never be said out loud.”
“Not about yourself though...”
I couldn’t even bring myself to utter his name much less have a conversation about that horrible, asinine man or our destructive history. “Just take me away from him. Anywhere. Just get me out of here. Please.”
He didn’t argue about my request to leave. It probably had more to do with the drunken bunch of girls approaching the frat house than with my pleas. One of whom was Sasha who had her phone glued to her ear. I imagined Felicia watching Leo and I from the living room window, giving her the play-by-play of my melt down.
Before the band of blondes got too close, we mounted the bike. The second after I wrapped my arms around him, Leo revved the engine and punched it. I closed my eyes and savored in the bliss of being alone with my thoughts. I didn’t know how long he drove. I didn’t care. I just needed to get away from every poor decision I’d ever made.
It wasn’t until he brought the motorcycle to a halt that I opened my eyes and removed the helmet. I had expected him to bring me back to my studio apartment. We couldn’t have been further from it.
In a city made up of concrete, few bricks were laid. That he’d found an entire part barricaded by them was impressive. The Garden at St. Luke in the Fields was spelled out above rod-iron gates.
“I come here when I need time to think.” Leo cut the engine and dismounted. “Trust me.”
For me to trust him wasn’t a request. He was desperate to gain it and was sick of waiting. Nevertheless, trusting someone again would take time. He was the type to be worthy of such a feat. However, the sting of Blake’s betrayal was a constant reminder that I was terrible at knowing who to trust. Even so, I took his hand and the chance that Leo wouldn’t be just another name in my ever-growing pile of mistakes.
As we stood next to the bike, he wiped the tears out from under my eyes. “I’d do anything to stop these.”
I thought the traitorous bastards had stopped. I guessed I was wrong. Cupping my face, he leaned in and placed the gentlest kiss on my eye lids. A cool sensation followed the warmth of his lips. And somehow, the simple caress wiped away some of the pain harbored in my heart.
Upon opening my eyes, I fell into the reflection of his gaze. How could a man I barely knew hold so much adoration for me? I was practically a stranger.
Yet, his touch was familiar.
With all of that came the realization that I was falling in love with him… And that he was falling just as fast gave me hope.
My nerves exploded, sending waves of exhilaration throughout my body. Leo was falling in love with me—me! To know that unequivocally, to feel that with my entire heart, to see that look in his eyes, eradicated every contradicting thought I’d had about being unworthy of love.
In a matter of weeks, it felt like years had spanned. Wasn’t that what life was comprised of? A few precious moments to treasure? I stared at him, memorizing every single thing about him. For the first time in my life, I understood what it was like to cherish another.
“You’re not looking away.” His voice was so resolved that it cut straight to my heart.
Was it bravery to show one’s vulnerability? Or foolishness? I supposed it didn’t matter. The feeling that was consuming me wasn’t something I could deny.
“How can I?”
I slipped my fingers alongside his as he escorted me to the brick wall. He then clasped his hands together, expecting me to scale it. I raised an eyebrow. He’d just told me to trust him in anticipation of breaking into the park?
He chuckled. “There she is. My sassy girl defies all good reason.” He dug out a key from his back pocket. “Don’t worry. I have extended privileges.”
“To the City park?”
“My father has an in with the city council. He commandeered us keys to lock up after big events since we do so much advertising for so many of the venues in the City.”
Of course. Why w
ouldn’t the Richards have keys to the City?
The gate whined. He pulled it back just enough for us to pass through. His hand slipped though mine and walked me down the cobblestone path. My heels clicked on the rocks. The overcast of the city’s lights illuminated the park enough for me to fall in love with all its grandeur. Small white flowers were sprinkled everywhere. Vines draped overhead from tree to tree. The fragrance of honeysuckles reminded me of home in Chicago. The natural beauty chipped at my hardened heart.
He led me over to a park bench. It wasn’t until I sat down next to him and laid my head on his shoulder that I realized the night’s cold nipped at his skin. It wasn’t freezing by any stretch of the imagination, but I suppose driving around town on a motorcycle without his leather would get chilly. I went to remove his jacket and he gave me a look that suggested I’d gone utterly insane.
“You’re cold,” I protested.
“What kind of man would I be to take a jacket from a lady?” he asked and then gave it a second thought. “You’re right. I changed my mind. I’m freezing.”
He slipped his arms under my knees and behind my back. Before I could protest, which I wasn’t about to, he’d sat me on his lap. I laid my head against his chest. Listening to his heartbeat, I took in the beauty around me.
With everything that just happened at Gamma Phi—with Blake—I knew deep down I was no expert when it came to the matters of the heart. How could I have been so head-over-heels for that man and not have known he was a total prick? Was I the only one who lost all sense when it came to the l-word?
After what seemed like forever, I asked, “Have you ever been in love?”
His body stiffened, and he stopped playing with my hair. “High school.”
“Not Sasha?”
He chortled. “No, not Sasha. Why?”
“Then you understand that when you’ve ever loved someone, there will always be a part reserved in your heart for them, good or bad.”
He had a look of complete panic and was failing at hiding it. I didn’t want to talk about Blake or anything thereof, but I felt like he was something that we needed to clarify. Something he needed to understand. The second I uttered Blake’s name, Leo’s face hardened.
“You act like I’m raw from heartbreak,” I said.
“You act like you still love him!”
“He betrayed me; my trust. He abused my affection for him, and I may never know why!” I shot back. “Do you have any idea how that ruined me?”
“You act like if he were to tell you that he’d made a huge mistake, you’d take him back.”
His accusation stung. Had I not thought the offstage romp had been more? Granted, I wasn’t about to let Blake back in my life now…but before…before he slipped on his wedding band, I thought there was a chance we could be together again…I had wanted him. Not now.
“He acted like he had never met me. I understand why he woul—”
“Why are you defending him!”
I pressed my finger on his lips. If he was too busy talking, he’d never hear me. His anger was obvious with the flex in his arms. However, that my soft touch could silence a man like Leo meant worlds to me. When he calmed down, I removed my finger and slipped it down the back of his neck, tracing his hairline. “I am his dirty little secret. Do you think he’d go from hiding an engagement to publicly acknowledging me after he cheated on his wife? He isn’t stupid.”
“From my vantage point, I’d have to disagree.”
“I am and will always be nothing more than a mistake to him. An affair. A thrill. A piece of garbage he cast away… I’m no more than a piece of white trash to him. He couldn’t have made that any clearer tonight.” The words tasted like vile, but they needed to be said. That was the cold hard truth. I did love Blake, a long time ago. And a piece of that would forever be in my heart, but that didn’t mean he was good for me or that I’d take him back. All it meant was that I understood the trenches of love. “I have no future with him, and even if I did, I wouldn’t want it, not anymore... Why are you smiling?”
Instead of a verbal reply, he kissed me. He kissed me like it was enough of an explanation for his happiness. Oh, he kissed me in a way that awakened every inch of my body and obliterated whatever I’d been going on about seconds ago. His hand slipped behind my neck as I wrapped my arms around his. As his lips caressed mine, every worry, every concern, every problem in my life melted away until there was only him.
Cupping my face, he pulled away and rolled his thumb over my lips. My eyes fluttered closed. There wasn’t a sensation more enchanting than his obsession with my lips. I parted my mouth and sucked lightly on the tip of his thumb. He watched in awe as I flicked it with my tongue. I grinned, loving that I affected him as much as he did me.
The opportunity was there, but I didn’t want to change this moment. It was too perfect without complicating it further by giving into the sexual tension between us. Instead, I savored the moment by resting my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes.
“I don’t ever want to leave, Leo.”
“Then we’ll stay here all night.” He tightened his grasp around me. “Have you ever slept on a park bench before?”
Now we were toeing the line of a conversation I never wanted to have. Park benches hit too close to home. Literally. I couldn’t deal with the complications money brought. Just ask my sister Zoey, wherever she ended up.
“I’m not answering that question,” I stated.
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want you to think I’m a gold-digger.” And I don’t want to talk about anything to do with my sister.
He shrugged his shoulders. “I’ve slept on a park bench.”
I pulled back and stared at him. He was lying. He had to be! “I don’t want to call you a liar, but I don’t believe it.”
“I may be getting my degree in economics and finance, but I’m not obsessed with money in the way you’d think.” He stared into space. “It’s one of the few majors my father approved of since it would compliment Richards & Brown Advertising, as I’m to take over the company someday.”
“That’s why I don’t want you to think I’m into you for your money. You have this fortune 500 company waiting for you after college.” The words hadn’t come out right. I wasn’t judging him. I just didn’t want him to think my intentions were impure.
“Your face just went white.”
“I just…” I looked away.
He caught my chin. “I thought you were done doing that.”
I managed a half-smile, then took his hand and rolled my fingers over top of his hand, entangling us again. “I don’t have a multi-million dollar company waiting for me. I only have what I can make of myself.”
“You’re a fighter.” His admiration was evident in his gaze. “That’s what I like about you.”
I laughed. “I’m a fighter? What’s my weapon of choice, Richards? My pointe shoes?”
He grinned. “You’re more powerful in them than you know.”
It was my turn to kiss him. The bravery it took to dance was one thing. To put it all out there—all on the line… But to accept his compliment… I shook away the thought. I was over-thinking his comment. “So how does a socialite manage to sleep on a park bench?”
“It was around the end of my sophomore year. I was a lot like Blake and all the brothers at the House. A prick, pretty much. Then one of my econ professors, Professor Callahan, posed a challenge to the class that I took a little more seriously than others.” Leo shifted, gazing out at the park. “Callahan explained that most people were two months away from being homeless and that the majority of our society lives paycheck to paycheck. I pretty much knew that already. He explained how one bad thing can happen to someone. One tragedy, one lost job, one blip on the radar and people can lose everything. Their homes, their friends, their lives. He challenged us to imagine what that would be like. He even offered extra-credit if we spent a night on the street to actually understand the fear of losing it
all. Of course, that wasn’t condoned by the university and ultimately got him fired.”
“I can understand why. It’s not safe!” I hoped my sister had a hot meal and a warm bed to sleep in tonight. Deep down I knew that it was my fault she was living on the streets…
“I did it anyway. I spent a night sleeping on a park bench in Central Park. I met people, saw things that people do when they are so desperate,” he said, edging me tighter against him. “To lose it all changes a person. You get swallowed up in the darkness of the night and I can see how those people turn to booze and drugs. I felt it. It stuck with me.”
He paused and waited for any type of response. My eyes were watery from his confession.
“After that, all the fraternity bullshit and drama just didn’t seem as important. Our world is so much bigger than that. So when I said that I come here to clear my head sometimes, I meant it. It puts things into perspective.”
I glanced back at the wrought-iron gate and bit my lip. Challenging perspectives…accepting them…breaking them. I wanted to see the world through his eyes. I hadn’t noticed my grip on his shirt until he pried my fingers loose and kissed each one.
“It’s locked. We are safe. I wouldn’t let anything happen to you,” he promised. “So we can stay as long as you’d like, at least until morning.”
And so I closed my eyes. I fell asleep, on a park bench, next to a man who had enough money to buy anything he wanted.
CHAPTER 20 ~ Leo
I woke to sound of loud and annoying as hell birds chirping. I cracked my eyes open and saw the faint glow of early morning sunlight just beginning to show life in the sky. Jesus. It probably wasn’t even five a.m.
Adeline was fast asleep on top of me, her head using my chest as a pillow. I was on my back, and she was lying on top of me. Her full lips were puckered out and slack as she breathed deeply. I played with the strands of her brown silky hair, wishing I could lean down and drop a kiss on her head, but knowing that movement would wake her.