“I need to know that you’d be strong enough to walk away from our friendship if I’m not really the one you want.”
“You’ve always been the one I want.” After a long moment where Mo was clearly waiting for Kate, she sighed and said, “What if we start over? Go out on a date like normal people.”
“Normal people?”
Mo smiled. “We could pretend.”
Kate couldn’t help thinking that Mo would change her mind after she had time to think about everything she’d told her. She definitely wasn’t normal and there was no use pretending otherwise.
“Will you go out with me, Kate Owens?”
“I don’t know what the right thing is anymore. I can’t think.”
“Well, I’m pretty smart. I could help you out.” Mo tapped her temple. “The right thing is saying yes.”
“You’re a pain in the ass.”
“Is that a yes?”
Kate wanted to say yes. The word was waiting to slip out. “Ask me tomorrow.”
“I’ll ask you the day after that too,” Mo promised. “Until you say no.”
“Good night, Mo.”
She turned to go up the steps to the bungalow. When she reached the door, she looked back. Mo was waiting for her.
“I don’t think I’m gonna sleep tonight.” Mo’s smile held a tinge of sadness.
Kate wasn’t certain she would either.
Chapter Thirteen
Carly and Bryn were up at the crack of dawn and bouncing on her bed. “Wake up, Aunt Kate. We’re going on a field trip today!”
Kate covered her head with her pillow as she silently begged for another hour of sleep. This was her punishment for not trying to sleep as soon as she’d left Mo last night. Last night… The memory of all that had been said came rushing back to her. And Mo’s kiss.
Kate took a deep breath. What hung in the balance would be settled today. And everything was out in the open now at least. Not only had she told Mo, Julia and Reed knew as well. They’d been waiting up for her and when she’d walked in, Julia’s face, a wreck of worries, had made her realize she couldn’t keep the secret from her. The kids were already asleep and Reed had offered to leave to give them privacy, but Kate had asked her to stay. Once she’d broken the seal, she didn’t want to keep anything inside anymore.
She’d expected pointed hard questions from Julia and got a few. Reed, on the other hand, had only given her a hug and said that she knew Mo loved her no matter what. They were still family, she’d said. Reed’s words repeated in her mind now. She’d given Kate enough comfort to sleep and that was more of a gift than she’d probably realized. But now that morning had arrived, Kate wondered what her answer to Mo’s question should be. Admitting that they both wanted the same thing didn’t mean that they should go for it.
Her mattress bounced, jostling her out of her thoughts, as Bryn wrestled her onto her back, laughing. Carly tugged at her pillow and soon Kate was blinking away the morning light.
Carly’s look was triumphant. “She’s awake!”
“Am not,” Kate argued, pulling the pillow back into place as she reached for the sheet. Did she really want to have kids?
Bryn got ahold of the corner of the pillow and pulled with all her weight. Kate didn’t stand a chance. But she kept her eyes squeezed closed.
“She probably needs tickles,” Bryn said.
“No tickles this early in the morning,” Kate said, waving a finger in the air. “I’m not getting out of bed until the first number on that clock is a six.” She didn’t know if either could tell time, but she wagered that it couldn’t possibly be six yet. Her head ached too much. “By the way, I found the candy wrappers.”
Both kids went silent. Bryn’s voice quavered as she said, “What wrappers?”
“Jolly Ranchers. Skittles. And Chocolate Kisses. Someone hid them under this pillow.” She’d heard the crinkling as she’d adjusted the pillow last night and then been amazed at the stash. Where they’d gotten all that candy was the first question… “I think you two should fess up ’cause if it comes from me, you know you’re going to be in bigger trouble.”
Bryn grumbled about not ever getting enough candy and then Carly meekly said, “I’ll go tell the moms.”
“How about we wait to tell them about the candy until that first number is a six? It might go over better if we let them sleep. Today might go over better if we all go back to sleep…”
“Look, it’s already a six,” Bryn said, pushing Kate’s eyelids open. “Tickle time?”
The next hour was a flurry of activity. Kate volunteered to help get the kids ready so that Reed and Julia could relax for another half hour. But getting two kids dressed, their teeth brushed, and their hair combed proved no easy task. Particularly since they argued over who would go first for everything. Even who would go pee first was a five-minute debate.
When both kids were ready to leave, Kate realized she still hadn’t showered herself. Julia only laughed when Kate asked how she possibly got everything done in the morning and was still on time to work. Mo was distracting her as well. She could hardly process one thought without stopping to wonder how the rest of the day would go. More than ever, she longed to see her. Adrenaline had her on a nervous high and she knew she wouldn’t relax until she saw her again.
Breakfast was a hurried affair. The twins were thrilled at the prospect of being able to skip the healthy options in favor of the easy-to-grab-and-go assortment of pastries. Kate looked around for Mo until Julia noticed and said, “Mo and Terri had breakfast early. They sent me a text. They’re in charge of getting us a taxi.”
As soon as they stepped out of the lobby, Terri hailed them. “We got a van that can take all seven of us.”
“Perfect,” Julia said.
Reed winked as she looked over at Kate. “Just when you thought you were going to have a break from our craziness.”
“She likes our craziness,” Bryn argued, slipping her hand in Kate’s.
“It does keep me from thinking about my own craziness,” Kate admitted.
Carly caught Kate’s other hand. “Aunt Kate, you’re not crazy.”
She squeezed Carly’s hand and said, “Thanks, sweetie.” No way could a five-year-old know that a silly remark could tug at her heart, but she appreciated the caring look Carly gave her anyway.
“But you can be weird sometimes. In a good way,” Carly added.
Mo came around the side of the van then. “Who’s weird?”
“Aunt Kate,” Bryn said. “But she’s not as weird as you.”
Mo met Kate’s eyes. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Kate’s heart jumped up to her throat, and there was no way she could have managed more words. Fortunately Carly took that moment to launch herself into Mo’s arms.
“No one’s as weird as Aunt Mo!” Carly cheered. “That’s why we love you.”
“Is that why?” Mo spun Carly around as Bryn hollered to be next.
Once she’d given both kids a whirl, she pointed to the van and they grudgingly climbed in, chattering about wanting more spins later. Mo stepped back from the open door and turned to Kate.
“How are you?”
“I’m okay,” Kate answered truthfully. She felt lighter and more clear-headed than she had in months, actually. “You?”
“I’ve never been this nervous waiting to find out if someone’s going to say yes to a date.” Mo’s voice was quiet enough that no one else could hear. The twins were bickering in the van and Terri was chatting with the driver while Reed and Julia were going through their backpacks once more to make sure they hadn’t forgotten anything.
“Hmm. That’s tough.”
Mo chuckled. “Did you sleep okay?”
Before Kate could answer, Carly whined, “Are you getting in, Aunt Kate? You have to sit between Bryn and me or we’ll fight the whole way.”
“For real,” Mo said. “Good luck. I’m going to sit up front and try to get some advice on the local scene from our driver.”
When Kate cocked her head, Mo added, “In case someone says yes to a date.”
Surprisingly, the driver was a woman. All of the other taxi drivers they’d seen had been guys, but it wasn’t until she answered a few of Mo’s questions that Kate realized she was also probably a lesbian. She had a short haircut and wore little makeup, which seemed unusual compared to other Mexican women her age, but when Mo asked about her family and she admitted she was single with no kids, a flag went up. Kate wondered how it was that Mo managed to find lesbians wherever she went. It was as if she had a beacon that they homed in on from miles away.
Kate tried to eavesdrop on the conversation in the front seat, but given the distraction of Bryn’s questions about Tulum—she wanted to know if Mayans still lived in the ruins and then everything else about Mayans including what they ate for breakfast—she missed a lot. It didn’t help that Mo was trying to ask everything in Spanish. When Kate caught snippets about the local scene and recommended restaurants, she felt a rush of nerves. Mo was planning a real date.
The ride to the ferry building didn’t take long, and soon Mo was paying the driver with a generous tip as everyone else piled out. As they waited in line for tickets, Mo came to stand next to Kate.
“How is it that you find them everywhere?” Kate wondered. “Or is it that they find you?”
“Are we talking about the driver?” Mo acted surprised. At Kate’s raised eyebrow, she added, “I swear I don’t even have to try. They just come to me. All I have to do is show up.”
“Everyone knows Mo’s irresistible,” Julia said. Clearly she’d overheard their conversation. She stepped back from the ticket counter, letting Reed buy the tickets while she kept an eye on the kids. “But I think what you meant to say, Mo, was that you show up and they come.”
Mo half coughed, half laughed, and Terri reached over to pat her on the back. “It’s not a bad reputation to have,” Terri said, chuckling. “But you were laying it on pretty thick back there. I’m surprised she didn’t hand you her number.”
“Maybe Mo’s losing some of her mojo,” Julia said.
Mo laughed. “Jules, that’s low.”
“Julia knows you can take it,” Kate said.
“That’s the rumor anyway.” Mo grinned back at her.
“Hmm. So it’s only a rumor?” Kate returned.
Mo’s eyebrows raised, but for once she didn’t have a response.
Julia looked over at them with a curious expression. “Today’s going to be interesting.”
“I hope so.” Mo held Kate’s gaze.
Kate knew the others were looking at her as well, but she couldn’t look away from Mo.
Once they’d settled onto the ferry, Kate pulled out the little travel book she’d brought about the Mayan Riviera and flipped through the pages until she found the section about Tulum. Terri had taken the seat next to her, with Reed and Julia in the row ahead of them and Mo across the way with Carly and Bryn.
Kate tried to concentrate on the book, but she couldn’t help stealing glances Mo’s direction. When Mo looked up and met her gaze, the memory of their kiss returned to her lips. She could almost feel Mo pressing against her.
Terri leaned over and pointed to the picture of an iguana perched on a cliff overlooking the turquoise ocean below. Behind the lizard was a wall of rock from one of the preserved ruins. “Wouldn’t mind that view. Can you imagine what that place must have looked like when the city was in its heyday? Now the iguanas run everything. I watched a whole documentary on Tulum… I hope we get a good tour guide.”
“Me too.” But Kate had a feeling she wouldn’t absorb much of what the guide told them. Across the way, Bryn and Carly were excitedly bouncing between their seats and Mo’s lap. She overheard Mo trying to convince them to sit quietly, but they were giggling too much.
Terri nodded in Mo’s direction. “Props to her. I’m just not a kid person before ten in the morning.”
“Try six a.m. They woke me up asking if I wanted to be tickled.”
Terri looked surprised. “What happened to you and Mo bunking together?”
“Sometimes you just can’t pretend there’s nothing going on.”
“But you two seem better today. There’s less tension. I wondered what was going on last night. She left the game show before it even started. Did you two have a friend argument or something more?”
“It wasn’t exactly an argument.” Kate hesitated. “We talked, and some of it was hard but…things are better.”
“Good. After watching the two of you dance together, I still think you two need to take a chance on being more than friends.”
“What about how the stars aren’t aligned for us and all that?”
Terri shrugged. “Astrology’s probably a load of crap.”
“You have the Pisces symbol tattooed on your arm.”
“I’ve always liked fish. And there’s something appealing about the symbolism of being able to change your mind. You know, the fish are going in two different directions.” Terri glanced over at Mo again. The twins were momentarily in their seats, but only because Mo was showing them a magic trick with a handful of pesos. “I think she might need some reinforcements over there. Maybe the twins would like to hear about Tulum.”
Kate doubted that ancient history would interest kindergartners but they did love to be read to, and a story was a surefire way to get them to sit still. She gathered her things and looked over at Terri. “I still think you’d make a good counselor.”
“I’ll consider it if I need a second job.” Terri smiled. “Good luck.”
It wasn’t until after the tour that the group split up. Terri wanted to wander around and take more pictures, the twins were harping for a picnic, and Mo had looked longingly down at the ocean. Kate made a quick decision and parted from the others, saying she wanted to dip her feet in the water. She made her way down the narrow wooden staircase that led from the ruins to the water, hoping Mo would follow.
The water was a cool relief. Kate wiggled her toes in the sand, letting the waves crest at her calves. After hours in the hot sun hiking from one crumbling stone building to another, she was tempted to strip down and dive in, but she hadn’t brought a suit.
“Going in?” Mo asked, coming up behind her.
“I wish. I didn’t think to bring a towel. Or a bathing suit.”
“Me neither.” Mo peeled off her shirt and tossed it on the beach well out of range of the surf, then turned to face the ocean and dove head first into the next wave.
Kate watched her for a moment but before Mo could catch her staring, she made her way out of the water. She found a spot shaded some by the overarching cliffs, and settled in on the sand with the book she’d brought about the ruins. All the “what ifs” her mind was churning out kept her from seeing the words on the page, but she pretended to read anyway. Every few words, she looked out at the water and each time, her gaze lit on Mo.
The tour had gone better than she’d expected. Terri had hit it off with the guide, and the woman gave them more than their money’s worth, but all the details on Mayan civilization blurred each time Mo had stepped close to Kate.
Kate looked up again, telling herself she was only making sure Mo was okay. A swell pushed Mo off her feet but she recovered quickly and then swam for a bit. After a while, she veered toward the shore and stood up again. She scanned the beach until her gaze settled on Kate. Instead of pretending that she was interested in the book, Kate raised her hand. Mo waved back, her expression serious.
Kate wondered at Mo’s thoughts. But if there was one way that she and Mo were alike, it was that they had never been able to read each other. Maybe they’d both spent too long hiding their emotions. Now they were too good at doing so. She watched Mo battle the shore break until she’d gotten her bearings on the beach.
“Anything in that book about the Mayan concept of age?” Mo asked, shaking off water droplets. “I keep thinking about what the tour guide said—about how Mayans didn’t consider your
age important.”
“Only what year you were born.” Kate squinted up at her. “That struck you too, huh? And all that stuff about standing on the shoulders of your ancestors… Unfortunately, there’s nothing in here about that. I wonder if the tour guide was making it up. They probably ad-lib some of it to keep the tourists happy.”
Mo sat down gingerly, as if the sand was too hot. “Why make it up? Probably it’s not in the book because it isn’t an easy concept for tourists to grasp—that what you do in life isn’t as important as what already happened before you even were born. We like to think about our potential. What we can do in this life. We don’t like to think anything’s preordained.”
“True…” Kate tried to focus on the page and not how close Mo was sitting. “All that stuff about their calendar and the way they charted the planets is amazing.”
“And you call me a math whiz,” Mo said, grinning at the nickname that had stuck since college. “But the virgin sacrifice and the bloodletting is a little much.”
Kate scrunched up her nose. “Along with burying your dead under the house.”
Mo looked behind them at the limestone cliffs. One of the largest of the ruins, El Castile perched at the edge and the rock wall was as formidable from this vantage point as it was ancient. “Have you ever been to a ghost town and felt like people were watching you? You know, like the spirits were peeking out of the windows?”
“I get that feeling here too,” Kate agreed.
“You can almost imagine some Mayan king plotting his return with every sunset,” Mo said.
“Good thing neither of us are virgins.”
“No kidding.” Mo looked over at her and grinned.
Kate felt a rush as Mo’s eyes held hers and knew she had to change the subject. “Do you think Terri’s latched onto another tour or is still making friends with the dearly departed?” She’d stopped to read every placard and even took notes. Mo had teased her about this until Kate had made a quip about how the spirit world might be listening. If anyone was in touch with the supernatural realm, it was Terri. Mo had agreed, saying that Terri had an eerie intuition and leaving Kate to wonder again what Terri and Mo had talked about last night.
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