“Hey, wait a minute, honey. It can’t be that bad,” Jacey crooned in a soothing voice as she rubbed her sister’s back.
“It’s worse than bad, Jacey. It’s horrible...and it’s ugly. And I can’t believe she did it to me! And now it’s too late...I can’t make Caleb understand.” By this time Sierra was crying hysterically and rambling.
“Who did what Sierra? Calm down for a minute and talk to me so I can understand. What are you talking about?” Jacey asked.
“Grammy. Lilliana Rose. She tricked me. She lied to me. Because of her lies I packed up and left Briarwood to go to school in New York. I left my family and friends...and Caleb. Because of her I left him...without a word of explanation.” Anger radiated in every word that Sierra spoke, and Jacey recoiled at the intensity of her words. Instead of asking any questions, Jacey kept quiet and allowed Sierra to keep talking.
“I loved Caleb so much, Jacey. And he loved me in return. We talked about getting married one day, you know.” Sierra smiled through her tears at the memory of Caleb getting down on bended knee and proposing marriage to her. Although they had both known they couldn’t get married until after she graduated from college, his proposal had served as a promise of the future. “To this day he’s the only man I’ve ever loved. And I was his first love. When we were together everything felt so hopeful. It felt perfect.”
“I always wondered what happened between you. You never said a word about why the two of you broke up. It was clear it devastated you though.” Jacey gazed at Sierra intensely, as if she was trying to decipher a mystery that had troubled her for years.
Emotions rose up inside her, threatening to choke her. As a result she lashed out. “What happened? You want to know what happened? Lilliana Rose happened. She couldn’t stand the two of us being together so she wracked her brain and came up with the most devastating reason of all that we couldn’t be together. And until a few days ago I believed her wicked lies...I actually believed her!”
“What did she tell you?” Jacey questioned impatiently, her usually cool demeanor vanishing as Sierra’s distress increased.
Sierra struggled to reign in the wild emotions swirling inside her. She felt shattered by her grandmother's betrayal, bruised by Caleb's rejection and in deep mourning over her grandmother's death. She knew once she divulged the truth to Jacey nothing would ever be the same again and that her sister might never view her grandmother in quite the same way. But it was time to finally expose Lilliana Rose’s lies.
“She told me that...she told me that Caleb and I could never be together. She said that it would be a crime against nature...a perversion.” Sierra flinched as she remembered the brutal words her grandmother had spoken to her the morning after the senior prom. She closed her eyes as if to protect herself from the shame she'd felt upon hearing her grandmother’s devastating words. “Grammy said that Caleb and I couldn’t be together because we were half brother and sister.”
Chapter Two
“She said what?” Jacey asked in a baffled voice. “What in the world was she talking about?”
Sierra shrugged and shook her head, wishing that she had all the answers. Although her grandmother’s letter had explained a few things, she didn’t think she would ever be able to fully understand why her grandmother had fabricated such a vicious lie. “She didn’t want us together, Jacey. Years ago she was in love with Jock Matthews, Caleb's grandfather. After he dumped her she became bitter towards the entire Matthews clan...so when Caleb and I fell in love-.”
“She got in the middle of the two of you,” Jacey said in a raised voice. “That old fox. I can’t believe she made you think...what were you thinking? Did you actually think that Daddy would do such a thing to Mama? He would never have stepped out on her like that!”
“How was I supposed to know? I was just a kid, Jacey. I believed in Lilliana Rose. Don’t you remember how close we used to be?” Sierra said in a defensive tone. “I never would’ve believed she could be so hateful and cruel.”
Jacey leaned over and grasped her sister’s hand, her gesture one of comfort and solidarity.
“I’m sorry,” Jacey said. “I wasn’t trying to blame you. I just can’t believe she could be so manipulative. So ruthless and unfeeling. It’s such a prepostrous lie.”
Sierra shrugged and blew out a deep breath. “I guess she justified it by telling herself she was sparing me pain and heartache down the road.”
“You said that you only found this out two days ago. How did you find out? From Yancy?” Jacey questioned. Yancy Barnes was the executor of Lilliana Rose’s estate, and he had also been her best friend since childhood. If anyone knew Lilliana Rose’s secrets it was Yancy.
“No,” Sierra said with a shake of her head, “Grammy left me a letter she wrote right before she died. Let’s just say that it was a deathbed confession. She begged my forgiveness and slapped herself on the wrist for ruining my life.”
“Generous of her,” Jacey said dryly, the sarcasm easily rolling off her tongue. “I can see now why you were crying. Finding out about Grammy’s betrayal must be devastating to you. Why didn’t you say anything sooner? And why didn’t you tell me what you were going through all those years ago?” Jacey’s voice sounded hurt and bewildered.
“I didn’t want anyone else to be hurt by what I thought was the truth. It was bad enough that I lost a lot of respect for Dad because of Grammy’s lies. I couldn’t put you through that nightmare,” Sierra explained. “It was me and Grammy’s secret. If it had gotten out, it would have been a scandal here in Briarwood.”
“Poor Dad! I’m sure he had no idea you were harboring all these mixed emotions towards him. And poor Caleb! Have you seen him since you’ve been back? Did you tell him about Grammy?”
“Yes, I’ve seen him,” she said bleakly, “although he doesn’t know the truth yet. I just left his place...let’s suffice it to say that he hasn’t exactly been pining away for me all these years. He could barely stand the sight of me.”
“You’ve got to tell him the truth, Sierra. If he means anything at all to you, he should know what really happened. I’m sure he’s wondered all these years why you ended things.”
The door abruptly opened and a tall, lean man who looked remarkably like Jacey entered the bedroom.
He too had attired himself for the funeral according to Lilliana Roses’ wishes. He was wearing a bright green polo shirt with a tan belt and matching green trousers.
“Jason! Haven’t you learned the fine art of knocking? Whatever are they teaching the young doctors of today?” Jacey joked with an impish grin.
“Yeah,” Sierra chimed in. “Do you walk in on your patients like that?”
“No,” said Jason with a toothy grin that enhanced his dark good looks. “But I’m not trying to catch my patients gossiping about their latest romances. Fess up, you two. Give up the dirt on your love lives!”
“Never!” squealed Sierra and Jacey in unison, easily falling back into their childhood rituals. Jason had eavesdropped on his siblings’ conversations so many times when they were growing up that their parents had placed him on perpetual punishment. Not that any form of punishment had cured his inquisitive nature, thought Sierra with a spurt of joy. Her brother was nosy to the bone.
Jason and Jacey were twins, both of them sharing the same striking good looks and sparkling personalities. Both were tall and lean, with angular faces and high cheekbones. Both possessed all the physical characteristics of runway models, although neither had the slightest interest in the profession. Jason had dedicated his life to medicine, having graduated cum laude from Harvard Medical School, then doing his residency at Stanford University, specializing in pediatrics. His twin had devoted her life to the world of fashion; Jacey was currently designing couture collections for Chanel in Paris.
Sierra and Jacey flashed each other a mischievous grin and yelled out “1-2-3” at which time they picked up pillows and bombarded Jason with all their might. Within seconds Jason was yelling out
“Sisters rule” which allowed Sierra and Jacey to let him up for air. Sierra loved the tight relationship she shared with her siblings; it was based on mutual love and respect.
“Sierra, you better get a move on it. The service begins in an hour and we’re getting ready to leave in half an hour. You’re not even dressed for the service.” Jason sounded like the typical older brother as he gently advised his younger sister and silently ushered his twin out of the room.
Within half an hour Sierra had changed and was now dressed from head to toe in lavender, a color Lilliana Rose had always adored. Wearing lavender was Sierra’s way of paying homage to the woman she had loved with all her heart and admired her entire life. Despite everything, she still loved her Grammy. She suspected she always would. She quickly made her way down the spiral staircase, while silently rejoicing in her familiar surroundings. Despite the somber circumstances, it felt good to be home amongst the people she loved most in the world.
Debbie and Brock Jackson, along with Jacey, Jason and Aunt Simone, were waiting for Sierra in the foyer, their faces grim and reflective. Her mother and father had both chosen to dress in fire engine red while Aunt Simone looked resplendent in pelican pink.
Debbie Jackson was a woman in her mid-fifties, small-boned and petite, with a glowing mahogany complexion, a slight paunch and a head full of salt and pepper hair. Although she looked quiet and unassuming, Debbie had a sharp wit and a scathing tongue to match. Known for her witticisms and sparkling conversation, Debbie was not someone most folks wanted on their bad side. Brock was a tall, caramel colored, heavy-set man in his late-fifties, totally bald, with a perpetual smile and a warm disposition. Brock was a well-liked and personable man, who had built up the family business to even greater dimensions than anyone had ever expected.
Her parents had always been a devoted couple, Sierra thought, as she watched them standing hand in hand, two lovers united in their grief. Back when she a child there had been some tensions in their marriage due to her father’s overzealous dedication to the family business. Sierra knew they had worked hard over the years to mend their issues. The knowledge that her parents had struggled at one time had made it a bit easier for Sierra to believe that Brock Jackson had betrayed her mother with Lola Matthews. Her grandmother had convinced her to doubt her father and her parents’ marriage. Lilliana’s lie had caused her to question her father’s every action, and for years a simmering resentment had brewed beneath the surface. Through it all she had never confronted her father about Lola, managing to keep her sacred promise of silence to Lilliana. And she had left Briarwood without a single word of explanation to Caleb, knowing that by keeping silent she was protecting everyone from the secret her grandmother had exposed.
And now they were preparing to say goodbye to Lilliana Rose.
The Jackson family gathered together and held hands, showing their solidarity and togetherness as they walked towards the waiting limousine and made their way towards Pinecrest. During the ride to the cemetery, Sierra gazed out the window, her thoughts a wild jumble. She knew what was bothering her more than anything else. Caleb. After all these years she still loved him. In truth, she’d never stopped loving him. And he hated her.
Jacey gently shook her sister’s arm and whispered, “We’re here, Sierra”, as the limousine stopped and the family began to exit the car. Sierra tried to dispel all thoughts of Caleb in an effort to focus entirely on the service. Today was Lilliana Rose’s day, and Sierra intended to honor her grandmother, despite her mixed feelings.
“Praise the Lord. It seems as if all of Texas is here,” said Brock in a surprised tone as he surveyed the massive crowd gathered around Lilliana’s burial plot. All the mourners were decked out in the colors of the rainbow and there wasn’t a drab color in sight. “I never knew so many people loved my mother,” he said with a poignant smile.
Debbie squeezed her husband’s hand and raised it to her lips in a loving gesture. “It’s a testament to Lilliana Rose, Brock. She touched a lot of people in her lifetime, honey. Now it’s their chance to pay homage to her.”
After the family took their seats, the minister began the service, which brought tears to most of the guests’ eyes. Lilliana’s oldest and dearest friend, Yancy Ralston, delivered the eulogy, while other members of the community got up and spoke from the heart about the caring and hard-working woman they’d all loved. Sierra was so torn between love and admiration for Lillian Rose and the feelings of anger and betrayal her deception had aroused within her. For now, Sierra was choosing to honor her grandmother. There would be plenty of time later for reflection and recrimination.
Sierra’s best friend, Marissa Santana, sang a beautiful rendition of “How Great Thou Art” as the Jackson family solemnly rose to lay flowers on the casket and utter their final goodbyes.
Sierra followed her parents through the line of mourners, clutching a red rose to her breast as if her life depended on it. When she reached her grandmother’s final resting spot, she placed a kiss on the rose and threw it on top of the coffin. As she made the sign of the cross, Sierra blessed her grandmother, torn between love and anger, grief and betrayal.
Grammy! Sierra wanted to cry out to her grandmother, but she spoke to her silently. Shame on you for lying to me about Caleb! Shame on you for being selfish and mean-spirited! And may God forgive you for destroying the only love I’ve ever known.
“Rest in peace, Grammy,” Jason whispered as the attendants lowered the pearl-colored casket into the ground. Jason wiped away a tear and blew a farewell kiss to Lilliana Rose.
A lone tear trickled down Sierra’s face as she thought about all her grandmother had meant to her in her lifetime. Lilliana Rose had been everything to Sierra! She had worshiped the woman! Despite Lilliana Rose’s tangled web of lies, she still felt a fierce amount of love for her grandmother. It was one of the many things the past eight years had taught her. Real love doesn’t die easily. “I love you, Lilliana Rose, and I will miss you,” Sierra whispered, her heart feeling as if it was breaking in two. “But I don’t know if I can ever forgive you.”
God, please help me reconcile all of these feelings so that I don’t harbor bad feelings in my heart.
Lilliana Rose. Matriarch. Friend. Mother. Grammy. Sierra couldn’t suppress the flood of memories as they rose unbidden to the surface. Lilliana Rose and Minnie sitting at the kitchen table sipping lemonade and swapping stories. Lilliana Rose barking orders at the ranch hands as they broke in a rowdy stallion. Lilliana Rose’s voice bursting with song as the family attended Christmas Eve midnight mass. Her grandmother kneeling among her prize winning roses and tulips, a hoe in one hand and a watering can in the other.
Oh, Grammy! You meant the world to me!
Sierra, Jacey and Jason watched in silence as Brock broke down in a torrent of weeping at the gravesite, his sobs filled with despair and loss. Their mother supported their father by having him lean on her as she guided him back to his seat. Aunt Simone patted Brock on the back and leaned her head on his shoulder, whispering words of comfort as she huddled against him. The two siblings had never been particularly close, but for this one moment in time they were joined as one.
A startling sight in the distance drew Sierra’s attention away from the ceremony and her familys’ grief. Behind a large oak tree, almost hidden from sight, stood a dark-skinned man, his face ravaged by time and old age. He stood behind the tree, openly weeping into his handkerchief. The man was striking for two reasons—his unruly mane of pure white hair and Rip Van Winkle beard combined with his overwhelming grief. Sierra found herself mesmerized by the old man’s appearance. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she had crossed paths with this gentleman at some point in her life. Try as she might, she couldn’t remember where or when.
“What in the world is he doing here?” Sierra muttered as she laid eyes on the last person in Briarwood she would’ve expected to see at her grandmother’s funeral.
Caleb! He had appeared out of nowhere and was tuggin
g on the sleeve of the elderly gentleman, who looked as if he was putting up a pretty good fight against Caleb’s strong arm tactics. She would bet her last pair of cowboy boots that the old man struggling with Caleb was Jock Matthews himself.
***
Caleb closed his eyes and wished for a moment that he could bury himself in the dirt. He would give anything or any amount of money to be as far away as humanly possible from this nightmarish scene. His grandfather, who had recently celebrated his eightieth birthday, was putting up a major struggle as he discreetly tried to lead him away from the cemetery. What business, he thought, did an eighty year old man have in giving him a run for his money? And it was his grandfather, no less. He wrinkled his nose as the odor of whiskey assaulted his senses.
“Poppy, come on. It’s time to go home now.” Caleb tried to make his voice sound soothing, although to his own ears it sounded like begging. He felt desperate. He might have been imagining it, but he’d thought Sierra had been glancing in his direction, and he felt certain that within minutes one of the family would approach them and ask them to leave the premises. After all, neither one of them had been invited here.
“Home? I can’t go home now, son.” A befuddled look appeared on Jock’s face. “I’ve got to pay my respects. For Lilliana. For Lilliana.”
“The service is over, Poppy. It’s time to go home.” Caleb reached out and grasped his grandfather by his wrist, his grip tight but gentle. Despite his tactics, Jock wasn’t budging, and beads of sweat began to break out on Caleb’s forehead as the skirmish became more heated. By this time his grandfather was bucking like a wild bronco and flailing his arms in every direction.
Through The Fire (Guardians, Inc. Book 2) Page 3