Could she bear to live in Briarwood and torture herself with the knowledge that Caleb was only miles away, yet still out of her reach? Even though he had treated her civilly this afternoon at the funeral, she had detected a simmering anger beneath the surface. An anger that had wounded her heart more than his cruel indifference. In their relationship Caleb had never once raised his voice in anger toward her or gone out of his way to hurt her. He had been a hot-headed youth, filled with resentment and pain due to his poor background, but he had also been a caring and sensitive young man. He had always treated her with respect, kindness and devotion.
Her mother appeared at her side, drawing her out of her reflections on Caleb and forcing her to concentrate on the present. “Honey, Hollis just called from the Diamond Lil,” her mother said in an urgent tone. “There’s been some trouble over there with the livestock. It sounds serious. They’d like someone from the family to go over and check it out. Considering the ranch now belongs to you, I think it should be you.”
***
Caleb arrived at his mother’s house after two hours of searching fruitlessly for his grandfather. He knew from experience that his grandfather could be missing for weeks. Endless days in which his mother and father would be consumed with worry and fear.
When he entered the modest, two story home his mother was sitting at the kitchen table, a concerned look etched on her youthful looking face. Lola’s mahogany colored skin was flawless and without a single wrinkle. Her jet black hair was cut in a short, closely cropped style. Lola was a former Ms. Texas, and she still had the face and figure of a beauty queen. Much to her three sons’ dismay, Lola could still turn male heads from a block away without even trying. Every now and then one of the boys had to step in and talk sense to an admirer who crossed the line from friendly to downright rude. Of course it tickled Ms. Lola to no end that her sons watched over her like paid bodyguards.
“You couldn’t find him?” she asked Caleb anxiously as he entered the kitchen, her hands clasped in prayer in front of her.
“I caught up with him, Ma,” he explained with a grimace. “But I lost him at the cemetery. I’m sorry I couldn’t bring him back here.” Caleb hated disappointing his mother and it ate at him that he couldn't ease her burden.
Lola waved her hand in the air as if to dismiss her son’s apology. “Don’t you dare apologize, Caleb. It’s not your fault. I know how wily your grandfather can be...especially when he’s on a bender.”
Caleb slammed his fist on the kitchen table, his voice reflecting his utter disgust as he said, “If I hadn’t been so busy talking to Sierra I would’nt have lost sight of Poppy. It is my fault!”
Lola raised her eyebrow and stared intently at her son. “Sierra Jackson, huh? You two were inseparable back in the day. She was your first love, if I remember correctly?”
“Yeah, for what it's worth,” Caleb said tersely, reluctant to talk about matters of the heart with his mother.
Lola gazed at Caleb intensely, her face filled with a look of understanding and compassion. Although her oldest son had a rough and tough exterior, she knew that he had a heart as big as the state capital. She also knew that ever since Sierra Jackson broke her son’s heart, he'd never given it to another woman. Sometimes she wondered if he ever would.
“She’s the one who broke your heart, isn’t she?” she asked somberly.
“I never said anyone broke my heart, Ma,” he responded in a defensive tone.
“You didn’t have to.” Lola reached up and caressed the side of her son’s face, her fingers gentle and reassuring. “I know my boys inside and out. You tried to hide the pain by going out and carousing with your friends and dating all of the wrong girls, but it didn’t mend your broken spirit. There was still that look of deep pain on your face. Nothing or no one could erase it.” She nodded her head wisely. “That’s the kind of pain loving brings, son.”
Caleb shrugged nonchalantly and said, “It was a long time ago, Ma. I got over it. A lot of women have come and gone since Sierra.”
Lola looked at her son with a shrewd eye and said, “That may be true, Caleb. But how many did you love? How many did you really want in your life?”
Not a one, Caleb answered silently as his mother raised herself up from the table and made her way to the oven to check on her lemon cookies.
Not a single one. Over the years he had wondered if there wasn’t something missing in him. He had asked himself if there wasn’t a deep, dark void in the place where his heart should reside. The only woman he had ever truly loved had faded out of his life like a fleeting rainbow after a summer shower. Her cruelty and indifference had jaded him so badly that he’d vowed never to give his heart to another woman. And he hadn’t.
That old feeling of unworthiness crept over him as he thought about Sierra. Once again he was the poor Matthews boy from the other side of town. She was the princess with the priceless pedigree and the prestigious family name. She had been born into the richest family in the entire county, he thought with disgust, while his family had barely eked out an existence. It had been painfully obvious that their differences had made it impossible for Sierra to think of him as a permanent fixture in her life. Although he had loved her with all of his heart and soul, and would have cheerfully died for that love, she had merely been passing time. Even now the unfairness of it all caused a burning sensation to spread through his gut.
Nobody ever said life was fair, he reminded himself bitterly. Sometimes life could be downright cruel. He had learned that valuable life lesson one hot June morning at the Jacksons’ homestead.
He couldn't shake the memory of that fateful day, for it was the day his lofty dreams had died at the hands of a woman he would’ve given his life to protect and honor. As hard as he had tried to erase the memories of his humiliation and despair, it remained with him, branded into his soul. Never to be forgotten, because to forget would be to repeat. And he would never walk down that road again - ever!
His relationship with Sierra had been going strong for nine months. They had gone to her senior prom a week earlier, two teenagers in love, bonded by love and their dreams of a future together. A future they had discussed in glowing detail dozens of times. They’d talked about the white picket fence, a houseful of babies and making a living on a cattle ranch of their own.
Life had never seemed as perfect to Caleb. But on this particular summer morning he’d felt worried. Sierra had broken a lunch date with him the previous day with no phone call or explanation. It wasn’t like her to do such a thing. She was the most considerate person he knew, as well as being punctual. She would never blow off a date with him, unless something was wrong. When she had failed to return any of his phone calls, his instinct had warned him that something was wrong. Fearing that he’d said or done something to upset Sierra, he had revved up his motorcycle and headed toward the homestead, intent on talking with her and getting to the bottom of the problem.
Sierra’s grandmother, Lilliana Rose, had opened the door after he’d summoned his courage and banged on the ornate, brass knocker shaped like a mustang. He’d known on sight that the woman who opened the door - the petite, gray-haired woman who stood majestically before him like a reigning queen - was Lilliana Rose. She was just like he’d thought she’d be: tough, regal and imperious. And every instinct in his body had called out to him in the instant that their eyes connected - this woman wasn’t going to be easy on him.
“Good morning, Mrs. Jackson. My name is Caleb Matthews. I’d like to see Sierra, if it’s possible.” His voice had been intentionally polite and well-mannered, sounding like the typical boy next door as he addressed Sierra’s grandmother. He had wanted to make a good impression on Lilliana Rose and his Mama always told him that polite manners were the best way to open closed doors.
“Well, sugar, aren’t you just the sweetest thing on two feet. Was my grandbaby expecting you to come calling today, Carson?” she’d drawled. Although Lilliana Rose’s voice oozed sugar and honey, her
dark, unflinching eyes reflected her tough personality and an inner core made of steel.
“Caleb. My name is Caleb,” he interrupted in an impatient voice. “Can I please speak with Sierra, ma’am? It’s very important.” Caleb’s eyes begged Lilliana Rose to show him into the homestead and point him toward Sierra. He was desperate to see her and he knew it was written all over his face.
“I’m sorry, son. Keeping names straight tends to get confusing what with so many boys coming round to call on Sierra all the time. I guess it goes along with being a seventeen year old, huh son? Flirt, flirt, flirt.”
“Boys? What boys?” Caleb had frowned as he posed the question. The thought of other boys coming to visit Sierra made him feel sick to his stomach. He shook off the feeling, choosing instead to believe that Lilliana Rose didn’t know what she was talking about. There were no other boys in Sierra’s life. She was his girl. Only his.
Lilliana Rose waved her hand in the air and said, “Too many boys to count, Carlton-,” she began.
Caleb interrupted, “My name is Caleb. I don’t mean to be rude, but could I see Sierra? I really need to talk to her.” He didn’t have time for small talk. It was important that he straighten this whole situation out now. Something didn’t feel right.
Lilliana Rose shook her head and made a clucking sound with her mouth. “I’m sorry, son. It isn’t possible. My grandbaby isn’t here.”
For some unknown reason an alarm began to sound within him and he felt his heart tighten within his chest. Something was terribly wrong. He could feel it in his gut.
Suddenly his mouth felt dry. He couldn’t speak. His tongue felt thick, almost too thick to move. He couldn’t ask where she was...something inside of him was warning him not to ask that question. Because he knew that the moment Lilliana Rose answered his question the perfect happiness he’d shared with Sierra would crumble into dust, as if it had never existed at all.
Lilliana Rose continued to speak, her words echoing like a gunshot in the stillness of the sultry morning air. “She went to Paris for the summer. It was one of those spur of the moment trips with her mother, sister and Aunt Simone. We Jackson women sure are impulsive. We act first and then think later.”
“Paris? D-Did she leave a note for me? Or a message?” he asked anxiously. “Anything?”
Lilliana Rose smiled, then reached out and patted him on the head as if he was someone’s puppy. “Well, sugar, I sure hate to be indiscreet, but she did leave a few notes for a couple of boys, but I don’t remember seeing your name among them. If I remember correctly, there was a Bobby and a Derek and a Leroy...but not a Caleb.”
Bobby. Derek. Leroy. The names attacked him like a mortal enemy, and he suddenly felt as if someone had viciously kicked him in the stomach. The bile rose up in his throat, choking him. He was going to be sick. He could feel it coming, rising up within him. He was going to humiliate himself in front of Sierra’s grandmother by getting sick all over the place. He tried to take deep breaths, forcing himself to gulp in huge breaths of air and keep breathing. But how could he keep breathing when his world had stopped revolving?
No, it couldn’t be true. How could he have been so wrong about Sierra? What about all the promises and the words of love they had exchanged? Sierra had given her heart to him, or so he’d thought. He had been her first true love. She had said all those things and more to him in the sweetest hours, their private hours, between darkness and dawn when she had snuck out to meet him at the stables. Surely, it couldn’t have all been a lie?
Lilliana Rose had looked at him and then chuckled. “Run along now, son. There ain’t nothing for you here. Go on and git. Ain’t no grandbaby of mine gonna take up with no poor trash Matthews.”
Poor trash Matthews! He had hated the grand dame of the Diamond Lil in that moment, almost as much as he had hated Sierra for all her lies and manipulations. Lilliana Rose had stood on the doorstep of the homestead, a victorious smile on her face. She seemed happy that her granddaughter had stomped all over him and played him for a fool. That much was obvious by her triumphant smile and her giddy laughter.
He had stalked away from her doorstep with a murderous look in his eye, resisting the urge to pick up one of the huge stones on the walkway and hurl it into the huge, bay window of their beloved homestead.
She wasn’t worth it, he’d told himself. She wasn’t worth him being arrested and carted off to jail. She wasn’t worth the devastation his Mama would feel if he was arrested for doing such a thing. And there had been no doubt in his mind that Lilliana Rose would call the police on him if he messed with her precious homestead.
Instead he had hopped on to his Harley and driven like a maniac across the state, not stopping until sheer exhaustion forced him to pull over at a motel in the wee hours of the morning. And for the remainder of the summer he had ran with a rough crowd, indulging in hard liquor and wild nights around town. In a short time he had built up a bad reputation—Caleb Matthews, rebel without a cause.
And he hadn’t laid eyes on Sierra again. Despite the fact that he had swallowed his pride and written her half a dozen pleading letters begging her to contact him, she had never reached out to him. He hadn’t heard from her that entire summer, and as the summer turned to fall he’d heard around town that Sierra went to college in the East. Caleb headed down the path of least resistance - beer, women and lots of trouble.
And this morning Sierra had arrived on his doorstep looking strikingly like the gorgeous young girl who had haunted his dreams for eight years. But she wasn’t a girl anymore. She was a woman. And she had caused him to feel emotions that he hadn’t felt in years. Emotions he had long suppressed and denied.
But he couldn’t deny the ache inside of him. It was real and powerful. He still yearned for what he’d lost.
The sound of heavy boots stomping on the linoleum floor drew him out of his reverie and served as a warning that hurricane Drew was entering the room. Caleb studied his younger brother as he came crashing into the kitchen, looking like a caricature of the old-time cowboy. Although Caleb had told Drew a million times that his cowboy attire went way over the line in terms of fashion and good sense, Drew insisted upon dressing like Roy Rogers. And it didn’t seem to hurt his reputation with the ladies, Caleb mused. There was always some pretty thing on his arm willing to be his girlfriend.
“Hey, Caleb. I just got a call from Hollis over at the Diamond Lil. They’ve got a situation out there and he needs someone of your expertise to help out with things. He said that he’s been trying to reach you on your cell phone.” Drew’s words tumbled out of his mouth at the speed of an express train, and Caleb had to listen carefully to keep up.
“Situation?” Caleb muttered. “It’ll take more than a situation to get me to go out to the Diamond Lil.” He shook his head to indicate that he had no intention of going anywhere. “Not a chance, little brother. Call Hollis and tell him I’m in for the night and I ain’t budging. This has been some kind of a day!”
“You may want to rethink your position, Caleb,” Drew responded grimly. “The whole place is buzzing with excitement. Someone just slaughtered half a dozen cattle out at the Diamond Lil and left their carcasses for all and sundry to see.”
***
“Who would do such a vicious thing, Hollis?” Sierra gasped as she placed her hand over her mouth, resisting the urge to vomit. She reached for a handkerchief in her pocket and placed it over her nose and mouth to block out the foul smell emanating from the pasture. The sight of the butchered cows in the northern pasture by the band of oak trees was enough to make her fall to her knees. Tears of moisture sprang to Sierra’s eyes as she surveyed the foul scene.
Even though she had spent a large portion of her life at the Diamond Lil, nothing in her experience had ever prepared her for the sight of such brutality. The cattle raised on the Diamond Lil had always been treated reverently, sacredly and with the utmost respect. The sight that lay before her was an abomination, a gruesome distortion of her grandmoth
er’s legacy. Sierra turned away from the grisly scene, knowing that it was too late for the image not to be engrained in her memory - the stuff of which nightmares were made.
Hollis shrugged in response to Sierra’s question, appearing as guileless as a small child as he tried to rationalize the situation. “I can’t begin to understand it myself. This makes the other incidents seem like child’s play.”
“Other incidents? What other incidents are you talking about Hollis?” Sierra questioned, her heart beating wildly as she waited breathlessly for Hollis to answer her. She had a great respect and admiration for Hollis Bullock, the man who had been serving as the foreman of the Diamond Lil. Hollis was a hard-working, religious man who ran the ranch with a strong work ethic and a heart of gold. There was nothing big or small that Hollis wouldn’t do for a neighbor, friend and on occasion, a stranger in need.
Hollis sighed and shook his head regretfully. “I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, Sierra, but I would’ve thought that someone in your family might have discussed it with you by now.” Hollis cleared his throat and fidgeted, clearly uncomfortable with his assigned duty as carrier of bad news. “For the past six months the Diamond Lil has been plagued by trouble. All sorts of trouble. One day we found the barb-wire fence had been tampered with...that time half a dozen cattle were missing. Needless to say we never recovered them...rustlers got to em we figured. Another time there were threatening messages spray-painted on the side of the barn.”
“What type of messages? What did they say?” Sierra asked, her eyes widened in shock.
Through The Fire (Guardians, Inc. Book 2) Page 5