Jock continued to speak. “Shanae was pregnant by a local fella and feeling desperate because he flat refused to marry her. If I remember correctly he was already married to someone else. When she came to me for a shoulder to cry on I up and proposed to her. You see, I was caught up in my own nightmare - with no way out. Shanae provided me with a way out, as simple as that. And I provided her with a husband and a name for the baby she was carrying.”
“But you were engaged to my grandmother,” Sierra said in a shocked tone, her eyes flashing with the sudden anger that consumed her. “I thought you loved her.”
“Love ain’t always enough,” Jock said with a wistful smile, one filled with regret and yearning. No matter how deeply he’d loved Lilliana, and he’d loved her beyond all reason, it hadn’t been enough. In life, circumstances had kept them apart, and in death, they’d been permanently separated. “What I have to say might shock you, girl. Sure you can handle it?” Jock asked bluntly, his snowy white eyebrows raised in doubt.
Caleb winked at his grandfather, nodding his head in support of Sierra. “She’s tough, Poppy. She can take it! As long as it’s the truth!” he said, his eyes flashing a hint of warning. Above all else, he’d learned that the truth had a raw power of its own, capable of moving mountains and bridging awesome distances.
Sierra nodded her head in agreement, too anxious at the moment to speak. A part of her felt so anxious that she wanted to physically pull the truth from Jock’s lips and end the agony. The truth needs to be uncovered, she thought with conviction, not just for Lilliana Rose, but for the living as well. For her. And Caleb. And Jock. So that the circle could finally be broken.
“Well,” Jock drawled after a lengthy pause, “since there ain’t no pretty way to say it, I’ll just say it. I killed your great-grandfather, Jessup.”
“What in the world?” Caleb asked, his face frozen in disbelief at his grandfather’s announcement. Of all the things he’d dreamt that Jock might say - he’d never imagined that his grandfather would make such a stunning declaration. His grandfather? A murderer?
Sierra’s face remained calm, her features composed. “Why?” she asked, not allowing her turbulent emotions to rise to the surface. Although she hadn’t known her great-grandfather, she’d heard endless stories about him from her grandmother. She’d portrayed him as larger than life in her tales, a man of daring and vision, both compassionate and loving, yet strict and no-nonsense. She knew how deeply her grandmother had mourned his passing, and how she’d never forgiven the night riders for the vicious slaying of her father. And now, all these decades later, Jock was admitting that he had killed Jessup.
“Why?” Jock repeated her question, his expressive face showing the torment that he’d lived with for so long. At this moment he looked years older than he had a few moments ago.
“Jessup called me out to the Diamond Lil one night saying he had to talk to me.” Jock let out a bitter laugh, one that rang out harshly in the stillness of the cabin. “The only talking he wanted to do was from the shooting end of a rifle. He pulled it on me the minute I stepped into the stables. He said he didn’t want his daughter marrying a no-account rodeo bum with no prospects. He called me every name in the book and then some.” Jock shivered. “There was nothing but hatred blazing in Jessup’s eyes, a hatred that I’d never been confronted with before in my young life. I was so hurt and scared when Jessup pulled out the rifle. I was afraid for my life yet I wanted to make peace with the man who I hoped to call my father-in-law. I tried to talk some sense into him, but he wouldn’t listen. Said he’d heard some rumors about me messing around with other girls in town. He said I was nothin more than poor ignorant trash. Then he spit at me and said he’d see me dead before I married his girl.”
“He began circling around me, like a wild animal stalking its prey. He was enjoying it,” Jock said with a perplexed shake of his head, still not understanding after all these years what had spurred Jessup’s hatred. “He looked like a man possessed and he was shouting all kinds of filth at me, saying that after he killed me he was going to bury me where nobody could find me. He got closer and closer to me, and I began to realize that he really meant to kill me, right there and then in the stables.” By this time droplets of sweat were dripping down Jock’s face and he loosened the top button of his shirt, looking extremely uncomfortable as he relived the past. “I waited until he came close to me and I sprang at him. I reached out for the rifle and he pulled it back towards him. For what seemed like a lifetime we struggled for control of that ole rifle, me pulling one way, him pulling another. The next thing I knew I gave it one last pull so that the barrel wasn't pointed at me and the rifle exploded. I fell onto my backside and I remember looking down at my chest to see how badly I was hit. Only I wasn’t hit. It was Jessup who was lying in a pool of blood with a bullet hole straight through his chest. He was looking up at me with those fish eyes of his, taunting me, mocking me, even in death.”
A hush swept across the room as Jock’s words trailed off, and for a moment nobody spoke. Jock’s tale had been dramatic and heartbreaking, poignant and real. Both Caleb and Sierra needed a moment of reflection to ponder everything that they’d heard from Jock’s lips. There was so much to absorb.
Finally, Sierra broke the silence. “B-But that doesn’t sound like murder,” she said. “It sounds more like self-defense.”
Jock shot Sierra look of gratitude as she rose to his defense. Instead of ranting and raving over his having taken the life of her great-grandfather, she was being open-minded about the matter, even going so far as to absolve him of responsibility. He shook his head in disbelief, amazed at her generosity of spirit.
“To you, maybe. But how do you think Lilliana would have seen it? She loved her daddy something fierce. When he died she was like a crazy woman, vowing revenge on the people she thought were responsible. Everyone around these parts blamed the night riders, and it wasn’t as if they hadn’t killed a great number of black folk around the country. I let them take the blame, even though I knew I should’ve owned up and told the truth.”
“Poppy, there’s one thing I don’t quite understand,” Caleb queried. “If Lilliana Rose thought the night riders were responsible for Jessup’s death, then you were home free. Why didn’t you go ahead and marry her?”
Jock exhaled a tightly held breath and said, “Blackmail, my son. Pure and simple blackmail.”
“But who-,” Sierra asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.
“Sam Jarvis! The entire time Jessup and I were fighting Sam was hiding in the shadows, waiting and watching. I’ve thought about it a lot over the years and I’ve come to the conclusion that Sam fueled Jessup’s head with all kinds of terrible lies about me. He set me up that night. I’ll bet you my last dime it was Sam who came up with the idea of calling me out to the Diamond Lil and putting a rifle to my head. And it was Sam who held that terrible secret over my head all these years. He forced me to break off my engagement to Lilliana, and he threatened me with exposure if I ever tried to get back into her life.” Jock shook his head miserably. “I couldn’t let him expose me. Some might say I made the wrong choice in not marrying Lilliana, but I couldn’t deal with her knowing the truth about her daddy’s death. I couldn’t bear for her to know that I had her daddy’s blood on my hands.”
“And Sam? Why did he hate you so much?” Sierra asked, the one remaining piece of the puzzle gnawing at her. Was it possible that a man could be so hateful and greedy that he’d destroyed all the lives around him without feeling a second of remorse?
“The way I figured it he wanted Lilliana for himself. He figured with me out of the way he’d have a clear shot at her. Not that he loved her, mind you. He wanted the Diamond Lil, which I suspect is the same reason that he vandalized the ranch and did all that other foolishness.” For the first time since they’d arrived at the cabin Jock began laughing, a low, deep rumble that started out in his chest and erupted from his mouth like a bubbly volcano. “But Lilliana fooled hi
m. She married ole Web instead. Web was a good man - honest, hard-working, dedicated. He was a good husband and father.”
Sierra grinned at the mention of her grandfather, Webster, a man that she’d never heard a bad word about in her life. Although he hadn’t been the love of Lilliana’s life, he’d been an excellent life partner and a wonderful father to their two children. He had been greatly loved by all who’d known him.
“So there’s my story. I ain’t proud of it, but it’s the unvarnished truth,” Jock said, letting out a loud sigh that sounded a lot like relief to his listeners. “I didn’t set out to kill Jessup, but it happened, and I reckon I was the guilty party. I know I didn’t serve jail time for my crime, Sierra, but if it’s any comfort to you - the loss of your grandmother was punishment enough. I had to endure the rest of my years knowing that Lilliana despised me for jilting her at the altar...I can’t tell you what that did to me,” he whispered in a pained voice that was filled with decades of heartache.
“Why did it have to turn out that way? You two loved each other and yet my grandmother left this earth without ever knowing how much you truly loved her. All because of Sam Jarvis!” Sierra said angrily, a million bad words hovering on her lips, words that she itched to level against the man who’d ruined her grandmother’s happiness. She bit her lip so she didn’t go there.
“Sierra, I know she loved me. And I’d bet my last dollar that she knew I loved her. Lilliana was a fine woman, loyal and passionate, and as brave and fierce in her will as any man in the county. Everyone who knew her had no doubt she was destined for greatness. She had dreams. Big, bold, beautiful dreams that made my eyes tear up every time she told me about em. I couldn’t risk the chance that my sin would destine her dreams to failure.” Jock let out a loud sigh. “After all, Sam could’ve turned me in to the authorities and made Lilliana a prison widow. I couldn’t have withstood her having to bear that kind of shame.”
Jock reached for Sierra’s hand and clasped it tightly, offering her the tiny bit of strength that he’d managed to gather over the years. Although it had taken him years to do so, he’d finally accepted the past and come to terms with the treachery that had robbed him of his Lilliana. “Sierra, nobody has all the answers. Not you. Not me. Nobody. But I’ll tell you one thing I do know. Lilliana and I were plum lucky to have found each other at all. That in itself is a blessing. I have so many memories, ones that I’ll cherish forever. Sam Jarvis took a lot from me, but he could never take that. And he never will.”
For the next hour Sierra and Caleb stayed with Jock, listening as he told story after story, some sad, others joyous, all of them highly charged with emotion. They thumbed through countless photo albums and mementoes, some of them making Sierra laugh, others causing her to choke up with tears. Through it all Caleb sat by her side, either clutching her hand or placing his arm around her, showing his love and support at all times.
Before they left Jock presented Sierra with a picture of her grandmother, a stunning black and white photograph of the young, attractive Lilliana standing next to a brown-skinned young man who had a hint of mischief in his eyes and a smile that was wider than the brim of his cowboy hat.
Jock explained that the photograph had been taken on the day he first met her at the rodeo in San Antonio. Sierra shook her head in disbelief when Jock presented her with the picture, unwilling at first to accept such a precious gift. Jock implored her to accept the photograph of Lilliana, reminding her that all his memories were stored in his heart and that he didn’t need a picture of Lilliana to remember that glorious day. “I’ll always remember it, here,” he said as he pointed to his head, “and here.” He then lovingly placed his hand over his heart. Sierra reached out and embraced Jock, her heart filled to overflowing for this wonderful, complex man whom her grandmother had loved so fiercely.
And for the first time in a long time she wept tears of joy.
***
EPILOGUE:
One year later
Sierra glanced at the crystal clock sitting on her armoire, her fingers nervously tapping the vanity table as the seconds ticked away. In exactly one hour she would be walking down the aisle with her daddy by her side, walking towards a man who she’d be spending the rest of her life with. Till death us do part, Sierra repeated to herself. She couldn’t help but think of her grandmother at this moment and remember another wedding day that had dawned with such promise, yet ended with such sorrow.
It was time, she thought. Time to open the letter that Yancy had placed in her hands a week ago today. All she knew for certain was that it was a letter from her grandmother. A letter from the grave. It had taken her one week to build up the courage to open the letter, for it was her deepest fear that Lilliana Rose would reveal another bombshell, one that would threaten her and Caleb’s peaceful existence. Caleb had told her that she wasn’t in any way obligated to open the letter and that if she wanted she could simply rip it up and toss it in the trash. But she knew she couldn’t take the coward’s way out. The one lesson she’d learned in the past year was that the truth, however damaging it might be, was always better than ignorance or lies.
With trembling fingers she ripped open the envelope, the scent of lilacs assailing her senses and bringing with them images of her grandmother, heartwarming memories that she would find strength in over the years. Lilliana Rose served as an inspiration to her, and despite the lies, Sierra had long since forgiven her grandmother. She considered herself blessed to have known such a remarkable woman. Tears misted in her eyes as she looked upon the bold, distinctive handwriting of her grandmother.
My dearest Sierra,
Hopefully Yancy will have put this letter in your hands approximately one year after my death. If I know you like I think I do you’re now happily married, or at least engaged to your beloved Caleb. I hope you don’t blame an old woman from meddling in your affairs. By now you’ve probably figured out that I set you and Caleb up and deliberately placed you in each other’s path. Of course I knew that you and Caleb would be sniffing around each other again, especially since I asked you to do me that one last favor so I could rest in peace. You never could resist a sob story, Sierra. You truly have the soul of an angel, my darling girl.
I knew that I did wrong, Sierra, and I knew that I had to right the wrong. I hope to God that my wrong was set to right and that you are heading toward the best years of your life. And I hope that my legacy is doing well, the ole Diamond Lil Ranch. You were truly the only soul who ever loved it as much as I did, which made it so very easy for me to pass on my legacy to you...and Caleb...and your future young uns.
The Diamond Lil will serve as a lasting legacy built on love, devotion and hard work. Something that you can pass on to your children. And grandchildren. You see, Sierra, it was destiny that brought Jock and me together in the first place, and I believe that it was also destiny that brought our grandbabies together decades later.
Please give my darling Jock a kiss for me and let him know that I’m waiting for him. You see, Sierra, destiny cannot be denied.
All My Love,
Grammy
That old fox, she chuckled. Her grandmother had played matchmaker from the grave, deliberately sending Sierra on a mission of mercy that would throw her directly into Caleb’s path. It was her grandmother’s penance for doing wrong so many years ago. Somehow she’d found a way to make things right.
Her grandmother had been right about so many things, Sierra reflected, and yet so wrong about other things. It was amazing, she thought, so amazing what love could do. She and Caleb were so lucky to have found each other again. Both of them could hardly wait until God blessed them with children. He had already gifted them with countless blessings.
And despite what her grandmother had done in the past, she’d managed to redeem herself quite nicely. Regardless of her deception, Sierra realized she deeply loved her grandmother and that in return, Lilliana Rose had loved her with all her heart and soul.
A loud knock on the door
startled Sierra out of her reverie, causing the letter she held in her hand to go fluttering to the floor. For a moment she froze as she heard Caleb’s voice through the door, murmuring, “Sierra, I need to talk to you. It’s important.”
A knot of fear formed in her belly as she imagined all types of scenarios. All those years ago, Jock had knocked on her grandmother’s door and announced that he didn’t love her and couldn’t marry her. What if Caleb was here to tell her the same thing? History couldn’t be repeating itself, could it? No, it would be too cruel.
Faith, a calm voice whispered in her ear. With faith and love all things are possible. She was simply having last minute jitters. She knew Caleb loved her beyond all reason. And she loved him more than she’d ever thought possible. He would never walk away from her willingly. Not in a million years.
She shook off all the feelings of doubt and cast off the momentary feeling of impending doom. Today was her wedding day and nothing in this world was going to stop her from becoming Mrs. Caleb Matthews. Like Lilliana Rose had written - destiny cannot be denied. And it was her destiny to make a life with Caleb.
Slowly she pried open the door and peeked her head out in the hallway, her eyes nearly popping out of her head as she caught sight of Caleb. He was standing a few feet away from the door, his arms patiently folded across his chest, a huge grin lighting up his warm features. Sierra sucked in an admiring breath, her eyes devouring every inch of him as he stood before her in his wedding finery. He was gorgeous, she thought. Tall, dark and handsome. The last time she’d seen him in a tuxedo was at their senior prom, and although he’d looked scrumptious then, he now left her breathless.
“Marry me?” Caleb asked as he scrambled to the bended knee position, his eyes filled with devotion as he gazed upwards at his beloved. “I never got to ask you for you hand in marriage. You beat me to the punch that day at my ranch. I need you to know how much I truly want you to be my wife. Will you?”
Through The Fire (Guardians, Inc. Book 2) Page 23