by S. Hansen
'Ow.' He jumped up and whipped around to see the brunette woman had returned. This time she sat seductively at the table wearing only her intricately crafted underwear and a black bodice. He straightened his waistcoat, adjusted his hair smoothly and smiled brightly at her.
'Adam Stark, a pleasure to meet such a beautiful lady.' Her mouth opened partially and her eyes narrowed before she softly spoke.
'That's a shame.' She held out her hand that he gladly took as she began to stand. 'Addison Stark, and sadly I think our flirtation may need to end before it has even really begun.' Mazar strode confidently through the kitchen doorway and pointed at Adam Stark.
'I knew you wouldn't put your damn clothes on!' Her eyes drew towards Addison Stark as she spoke.
'And I knew you wanted to see me without them Mazar!' Addison's eyebrow raised and a slight smirk pulled on her lips.
'Am I to assume Mazar is not fun at all in both realities?' Adam Stark laughed triumphantly as he maintained eye contact with Mazar and slouched into the chair that Addison had risen from. Suddenly his vision shook again, when it had settled Addison and Mazar had disappeared. They had been replaced with an unimpressed looking man. His bronzed complexion, slicked back black hair and surly expression helped Stark jump to his conclusion.
'You grow a fine beard Mazar.'
Chapter Twelve – Better The Devil You Know
'Patrick!' The beardy Mazar continued to stare at Adam Stark as they waited in silence for a response. A brief time later a gruff voice bounced down the hallway toward them and was followed by its speaker.
'What?' He stood next to Mazar examining Adam whilst he returned the favour. Patrick had sun bleached hair, steely eyes and wore a white shirt with effortless style. He cleared his throat before speaking in a smoother voice than before.
'What did Addison do now?'
'Whatever she did I'm not fixing it this time. I'm going back to sleep.' And with that Mazar turned on his heel before grumpily stomping back to his cabin leaving Patrick to sigh heavily and consider his options.
'Sooooo...'
'Oh no, I know that tone, it might be deeper and more manly, but no. Whatever it is, no.'
'I was just going to ask if you picked up anything on Drium...'
'Ugh this gets worse. You aren't Addison, but you are. You dragged me to Drium in your reality too didn't you?'
'No, I definitely did not drag anyone called Patrick, or any man in fact, to Drium.' Patrick's eyes rolled, he sighed heavily once more and ran his fingers through his hair.
'You are from a gender swapped reality aren't you? ... Of course you are. Why is it always you who gets into these situations?' Stark began to edge towards the doorway carefully sidling past Patrick who had begun to pace across the kitchen floor.
'Where are you going?'
'Nowhere in particular...' Patrick sighed, examined Stark's attire and strode through the door beckoning Stark to follow him.
'Let's at least put some clothes on you. I'll assume Addison was up to something similar to you, in which case she'll have left her clothes behind.' Patrick slyly smirked without Stark seeing before motioning him into Addison's cabin. Patrick leant against the wall outside the cabin and waited impatiently.
'Err...'
'Is there a problem?' He smiled again to himself with a great sense of satisfaction. Stark poked his head through the doorway with a look of horrified disgust on his face.
'I don't think this is really my kind of outfit.' He held out his arm with a fistful of clothing and waved it in frustration to a thoroughly amused Patrick.
'Well, just wear what you can, I hardly think it would be appropriate for you to wear next to nothing when there is a lady on board.' Stark's eyebrow raised.
'A lady?'
'Oh god, you really are just a male version of her. Please don't hit on her it will be more painful than watching Addison throw herself at Mazar.' Stark grinned widely and jostled his eyebrows before disappearing, leaving his words trailing behind.
'Not scared of a little competition, are you?' Patrick's head sunk and his posture slouched in unison with his expression. After a brief period of clattering and banging in Addison's cabin Stark emerged in what would kindly be described as an interesting outfit.
'In what way could a man wearing that outfit be considered competition for me?'
'Well I have to give you an advantage. Just to clarify who is the lady anyway?' Patrick shook his head disapprovingly.
'Who else is there left for you to meet in this reality?'
'Oh... well that's disappointing. I've no intention of wooing Dantil.'
'Don't you think that in any case your first priority should be returning you to your appropriate reality?' Stark fidgeted awkwardly in his outfit. The trousers were black and grey just as his were but they were rather more figure hugging than he was prepared for and the blouse not only revealed more cleavage than he was used to but had frills he didn’t know what to do with. He pulled the seat of the trousers away from his skin and let it slap back, regretted his decision and quietly let out a sighing groan.
'Yes, I suppose returning would be a good idea.' Patrick led the way to the bridge and sat at the benched table with Stark before discussing all the details of his appearance in the wrong reality.
☆★☆
'Okay, so what we can assume is that we are close enough to the device to have found a tear in reality. Hajeel mentioned it was a possible effect, so surely all we have to do is find another tear, throw you through and pull Addison back.' Stark had stopped listening. He sat with his head gently resting on the palm of his hand watching Dantil enter the bridge. Dantil's crimson hair flowed beautifully over perfectly sculpted shoulders. Stark found the golden Dantan eyes to be friendly and innocent whilst also being flirtatious and alluring. Patrick noticed how distracted Stark had become and spoke without turning his head.
'Good morning Daneel.' Daneel smiled widely with a beauty that dumbfounded Stark; his jaw dropped and his face slipped off its prop.
'I assume the competition is back on...' Patrick spoke with disappointment and disapproval dripping from his words as he looked at Stark's awe struck face with disdain. Patrick rose from his seat and crossed the floor toward the navigational display where he began to study the charts with unexpected intensity.
'We seem to be moving toward the device.' Stark disinterestedly shrugged as he tried to stand up in as manly a way as possible without causing his tight trousers to ride up any further. 'The engines aren't even on, we shouldn't be moving.' Stark rolled the frills at the cuff of his sleeves in an attempt to hide them as he responded.
'I assume then that you haven't noticed the gargantuan ball of fire slowly pulling us towards it with its gravitational field...'
'Of course I noticed it...' He paced toward the bridge windows and rested his forehead on it. He gently thumped the side of his fist against it and sighed. '...What if we can't reach the device without getting so far into the gravitational pull that we can't get out again?' Stark gently patted Patrick on the shoulder and spoke softly.
'As a fan of all things science fiction I am very confident that aliens are vastly superior to us. So don't be limited by the capabilities of humans. This ship is alien and she'll get us out. Well this ship will get you out, I'll be getting out on The Asteria.'
'This is The Asteria.'
'Well that's confusing… from now on yours is The Asteria mark two.'
'Why does ours have to be the mark two?'
'Because I came up with the idea and I'm clearly from the true reality.'
'There is no true reality, they are all true.'
'Well then why is this the gender swapped reality? If there was no true reality then it wouldn't be a variant of mine it would just be a different reality.'
'But every reality is a variant of each other reality so then all of them would have to be true. Which would mean there is no true reality as they are all equally real.'
'Well if they are all a v
ariant of each other then surely they are actually all a variant of one reality so that it could then be said they are all similar. In so meaning one reality is more real than the others.' Patrick was getting lost in Stark's conclusions and so conceded some ground to Stark in an attempt to win more.
'Then if we suppose that there is only one true reality how can you be sure that it is yours? Have you any proof that yours isn't the gender swapped reality?'
'Only by way of a demonstration that I'm better than my female counterpart.'
'That's sexist!'
'Not if it's true.'
'Better at what?'
'Being me, I'm a better agent.'
'How can you prove that?!'
'Hmm... Good point. Well we will just have to assume that as there are more male agents than female that I am innately better.' Patrick scowled and sighed before speaking.
‘So you are a better agent than your reality’s Mazar?’ Stark paused the rapid fire conversation as he regretted his line of argument.
‘Well I don’t know about better… Err… I’m certainly better at making an impression.’
'My female counterpart hates you doesn't she?' Stark's mouth opened ready to proudly proclaim Polly's feelings toward him but he refrained from his winning rebuttal.
'Let's just say Polly definitely doesn't hate me and leave it at that.' Daneel tried her hardest to follow the conversation but she found herself becoming very confused and her sore head desperately needed a break.
'Who is this human?' Stark had had a lot of practice at first impressions and as though on auto pilot he began his well-rehearsed sequence of introduction. First, he whipped his head around to face Daneel and in so doing he flicked his soft hair that gently fell back into its correct place. His smile began to widen and his icy eyes began to focus on Daneel's.
'Adam Stark, handsome devil and all around super spy.' He loosely gripped Daneel's hand and gently planted a kiss on the back. Patrick rolled his eyes, shoved past Stark and stormed out of the room. Daneel's eyes followed Patrick out of the room although she needn't have watched him she preferred to see Patrick in colour.
'Patrick seems angry, is he angry?'
'Oh him, no, he's not angry. He's just menstruating.' Mazar had reached the bridge doors before realising Adam was there. He had planned to turn away and hide before being noticed but Stark and Patrick's conversation had intrigued him momentarily. He considered his options and decided upon his favourite before he began to confidently walk through the bridge.
‘I guess there are some benefits to you being a man.' Mazar smacked the back of Stark's head and kept moving through the bridge and out the other side.
'Geez, this isn’t a very friendly crew.' Stark gently rubbed his head as he watched Daneel's reaction to Mazar. His eyes slowly flitted away from her as he disappointedly noticed the mysterious door on the bridge deck had remained closed in the alternate reality too. But his expectation that the reality could have differed in this way urged him into exploring his current Asteria. He excitedly lurched forward and knocked a small panel of the wall out of position with the side of his fist.
‘Have you seen Addison do this?’ With a recent understanding of vision Daneel smiled politely and responded with a smooth and calming voice.
‘No but I have heard her in the ducts that the panel leads to.’ Stark gained a smug smile as he awkwardly lowered himself onto his stomach.
‘Addison is a bit noisy is she?’
‘Almost silent actually.’ Stark tried to loosen the grip Addison’s trousers had on his legs before sliding out of Daneel’s eye sight. He softly fumbled in the dark hoping to find everything he had wanted to find on his Asteria.
‘Aah!’ Stark retracted his hand at speed before shimmying back toward the bridge.
‘What on Earth was that?!’ As he clumsily emerged feet first back on the bridge Daneel began to glide gracefully toward him before gently grasping his hand.
‘A knife.’ Stark sat uncomfortably on the floor as Daneel examined his wounded finger.
‘A knife?! Who put a knife there?!’
‘Addison.’ Stark’s face contorted from confusion to jealousy and reproach.
‘Where did she get a knife? I didn’t get a knife, that’s not fair.’ Daneel looked at Stark with endearing confusion.
‘I think the wound is fine, but I am not very clear on human physiology.’ Stark distractedly began to stand as Daneel released his hand.
‘Polly will- I mean Patrick… Patrick will know where Addison got a knife.’
‘Why don’t you just ask Addison?’ Unsure of how to explain the situation he left the bridge in search of Patrick leaving Daneel with a confusing concept.
‘Because I’m Addison.’
☆★☆
After briefly looking in Patrick’s cabin and the kitchen Stark began aimlessly wandering around the ship.
‘Patrick!’ Stark ran his fingers along the wall as he paced uncomfortably through the corridors. ‘Marco?!’ Stark found Mazar using the cargo hold as a climbing frame before continuing his search. ‘You’re supposed to say “Polo” you know Patrick!’ At last Stark found Patrick sat grumpily in the corner of the engine room. Patrick glanced at Stark in defeat.
‘Where did Addison get a knife?’ Patrick briefly sighed before responding.
‘I believe she upturned her handbag and an arsenal of weaponry tumbled out.’ Stark ran his tongue over the healing wound on his lip, smiled and mumbled to himself.
‘So that’s why they have handbags. Maybe I need a handbag.’ Whilst deliberately avoiding eye contact Patrick spoke in husky exasperation.
‘Are you actually going to fix the whole wrong reality problem?’
‘Nope.’ Patrick’s brow furrowed deeply as he suddenly stood up to face Stark.
‘WHAT?! You’re going to leave Addison there?!’
‘Nope.’ This response infuriated Patrick further and he began to gesticulate heavily as he continued.
‘You can’t just expect everything to fix itself, you need to stop being so immature Addison.’ Stark calmly knocked a wall panel out of place and began to slide into the empty duct before pausing to speak.
‘I don’t, to both of those statements, also I’m Adam… You and Mazar will fix this.’ Stark slid out of sight and into the dark tunnels of the Asteria’s guts leaving Patrick looking both furious and dumbfounded.
Stark was merrily making his way through the ducts, trying to make it to the mid deck without using the stairs, when he found another item of interest. He tenderly grasped the object and attempted to identify it with touch alone.
‘Is this a throwing star?!’ He muttered to himself before returning it to its place and moving on.
‘I think I might be my perfect woman.’ Although he found Addison’s trousers to be far too tight and uncomfortable he appreciated their ability to slide smoothly along the metallic surface. He felt he had managed to make some upward progress and decided to discover his new location on the Asteria. He gently pushed a small panel outwards but paused when he saw Daneel kneeling in her cabin with her back to him. Her beautiful crimson hair flowed gently down her back as Stark studied her figure with interest. Just when he had decided to close the panel and leave Mazar walked with purpose past Daneel’s cabin.
‘Mazar, what is love?’ Mazar stopped in his movements, gathered his thoughts and returned to Daneel’s doorway.
‘Love is a societal construct to encourage monogamy and thus prevent inadvertent incest.’ He spoke without emotion and left as quickly as he had stopped. Daneel pondered the definition of love briefly before turning to Stark and repeating the question.
‘What is love?’
‘Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more.’ Stark began to hum to himself before closing the panel and disappearing back into the darkness. Daneel’s mind worked over Stark’s response to no avail before she gently rose to her feet and she continued her struggle to find a clear meaning. A glimpse of sadness flash
ed across her face in her confusion before she noticed Patrick’s steady approach and her expression brightened in anticipation of his friendly demeanour. Her radiant smile beamed as he strode past with a clenched jaw and curled lip of disgust. His single-minded train of thought caused him to ignore her and she felt a strange feeling in her chest. Suddenly her heart seemed to drop and it appeared to her that it had dropped into her stomach as she felt a great uneasiness. It didn’t combine well with her already uneasy stomach and pulsing headache. It was a sensation she had never felt before and had no idea how she should appropriately respond but a strange muffled gasp left her lips involuntarily.
‘That’s love!’ He had managed to circle around her room and was easily able to see into Daneel’s cabin without notice. Nothing could have better portrayed love to Stark than what he saw. He slowly shuffled out into Daneel’s cabin, rearranged his outfit and placed a hand on her shoulder. She turned her face to his with a mixture of sadness and surprise that caught even Stark off guard and he felt a knotting in his stomach as he fell in love with the relationship growing between Daneel and Patrick. His grip on her shoulder reassuringly tightened before he spoke.
‘Hurts doesn’t it?’ Daneel softly puffed her chest before collecting herself and speaking.