If I Only Had A...Husband (The Bridal Circle #1)

by Andrea Edwards

  “What do you have in common?”

  “Enough.”

  “Enough for what?” He was getting upset again and sat up. “Don’t you have anything to talk about unless you bring your notebook with you on dates?”

  Penny didn’t say anything for a long moment. She watched the shadows grow darker and listened to the crickets grow louder. Who was she really fooling?

  “Alex and I aren’t dating,” she said. “I’m paying him to tutor me.”

  “Tutor you?” His voice sounded stunned, as if the concept were totally foreign.

  “You know,” she snapped. “Like my father paid you when we were kids.”

  “But why?”

  “You saw my papers.”

  He frowned at her. “Well, maybe then you’re majoring in the wrong thing. Why English literature?”

  “You think it’s a strange major for a dummy?”

  “No, I think it’s a strange major for someone running a business. You’ve got yourself a good-size operation here. And from what I can see, highly successful. A business major would be a snap for you.”

  “I don’t want something easy,” she said.

  “Why not?”

  She didn’t know how to tell him. But then, didn’t know how not to tell him. His hand was near her, too near, and the temptation to stroke it with a blade of grass was too much. She ran one lightly over the back of his hand until he grabbed her hand in his. Was that what she wanted all along?

  She held on to him, but looked up at the moths flying around the yard light. “You remember when we put on The Wizard of Oz play in seventh grade?”

  “You played the Scarecrow.”

  “I wanted to play Dorothy.”

  “What for? All she did was run around and whine about her dog.”

  Penny turned from the light and the moths, to picking at the blades of grass. It was a long time since she’d opened her heart up.

  “I had done really poorly on one of my English tests,” she said. “Mrs. Hartman was going to let me take it over, but the only time available was during the Dorothy tryouts.”

  He shrugged. “You made a great Scarecrow.”

  “Yeah, right.” Penny snorted. She looked at him then, but his face was turned so that his eyes were shadowed. “They wanted somebody tall and skinny. And you and Joe Wenzel were the only ones taller than me. Joe wasn’t anywhere near skinny and you never went out for the plays.”

  “The Scarecrow was always my favorite.”

  “Dorothy was the star.”

  “The Scarecrow was the one who figured out how to get them all out of danger.”

  She knew he wouldn’t understand, but she was laughing in spite of herself. “You’ve always been a stubborn cuss.”

  “Hey, when I’m right, I’m right”

  She looked up at the sprinkling of stars newly appearing in the nighttime sky. Diamonds twinkling just for her. Somewhere up there was the wishing star, but she’d lost track of it over the years.

  “I guess, just once, I’d like to be the star,” she said.

  “You were a model.”

  “That was nothing. People figured you were a statue that could walk around.”

  “And talk,” he added.

  “Nobody listened if you did.” She brought her gaze back down and looked at him. “That’s why I hired Alex.”

  “To make you a star?”

  “Kind of. You see, there’s this big conference in Washington D.C. next year to celebrate the one hundredth anniversary of the publication of The Wizard of Oz. The Smithsonian is sponsoring it and all kinds of educated people are presenting papers about the Oz stories and their significance on society.”

  “How does Alex fit in?”

  “I want to present a paper and he’s coaching me.”

  “But why all the secrecy?”

  It was getting too hard to look at him. Even though his eyes were shadowed, she could still feel the intensity of his gaze. She stretched out on her stomach and picked at the grass in front of her.

  “It’s Gran,” she told him, then looked up. “She didn’t see the papers, did she?”

  He shook his head, and she went back to her grass with a sigh. “Thank goodness. She thinks I’m some A student and I couldn’t bear for her to know the truth.”

  “She wouldn’t care,” Brad said. “She doesn’t love you more or less depending on your grades.”

  Penny rolled onto her side, propping her head up with her hand. “But she’s proud of me now and I like that. She saw the one paper I got an A on and jumped to the conclusion I got A’s on all my papers. At first, I tried to tell her the truth, but I liked having her proud of me. When I mentioned the conference, she took it for granted that I would present my paper. Now she’s told the whole town that I’m an honor student and a famous scholar.”

  “And so you hired Alex.”

  “Yes. His job is to help me write such a good paper that I’ll make part of Gran’s story be true.”

  He sighed and lay down next to her, reaching out his hand to brush some curls back from her face. “Penny, you can’t make yourself into something you’re not and you shouldn’t even try. People love you for who you are—a warm, generous, interesting person. Anyone who thinks you should be something else doesn’t count.”

  “It’s not that easy,” she said, though she was having a little trouble concentrating. His touch was soft and gentle, but sent tremors all along her skin. “I know people care about me, but I want to be respected. I want to do something no one else has.”

  His fingers were running lightly over her cheek, then touched her lips with the merest of caresses. “Lots of people respect you. And every day you do things no one else has.”

  There was a tremble building down deep inside her and with his every touch, it was growing stronger. “Name one thing,” she said. She tried for a laugh but it came out shaky.

  “You’re running the business better than your father did.”

  “That doesn’t count.”

  “Why not?” He half growled the words as his hand came down on her shoulder. “You know you are the most aggravating, impossible—”

  But his words died off as his gaze locked with hers. She forgot what they were talking about. Forgot why she was so impossible. And knew only a desperate longing to taste his lips. To feel that wild ride of wonder deep in her soul.

  She leaned forward a bit and he leaned over just a fraction and then it was as if they were magnets, pulled together by some greater force. His mouth was on hers and she felt the magic inside her. His kiss was hungry and needful with all the force of a spring storm, raging over the land with its power and strength.

  But as heavenly as his touch was, it wasn’t enough. She rolled slowly onto her back as his hands slid under her and her arms held him close. His chest was pressed against her; her breasts radiated the pounding of his heart. It was splendor. It was wonder. It was everything her most private dreams ever wished for.

  She kissed with a lifetime of longing. He kissed her with a lifetime of loneliness. And somehow those lifetimes met and exploded into the most wonderful fire. It consumed everything until there was nothing but them. Nothing but the flaming needs and the magic of each other.

  And something damp and cold on her ear.

  “What?” she cried against his lips and pulled away as best she could.

  Brad raised himself up on his hands and they both turned. Einstein was standing there next to them. Once they were both looking at the cat, he meowed in satisfaction, then climbed onto Penny’s chest for scratching. Penny started to laugh.

  “This your chaperon?” Brad asked.

  His voice was harsh and sounded strained, but he reached out to scratch the cat also so Penny knew he wasn’t angry.

  “My father figure,” she joked. “That meow was asking you what your intentions are. And this purr is saying he likes you.”

  But Brad’s scratching was short-lived and he sat up suddenly, moving away from her. He
looked like he was trying to catch his breath as he gazed off into the darkness of the nursery fields. Putting her arms around Einstein so he wouldn’t fall, Penny sat up also. Just as Brad finally turned her way again.

  “Hey, I’m sorry about that,” he said. “I never meant for this to happen.”

  She laughed though she wasn’t sure why. Or was she not sure why he was apologizing? “We’re both adults,” she said. “And both free to enjoy ourselves. There’s no need to apologize.”

  “I guess.”

  Einstein protested his confinement so she let him go, then watched as he bounded off toward the barn. It was better than watching Brad fight some demon inside him. She didn’t know whether she should be flattered or insulted, and decided she was too tired to be either.

  In too many ways she was still that girl who thought Brad Corrigan hung the moon. Except she was an adult now and she ought to know better. He was a wanderer, a loner, a man who wouldn’t love. So, did she take what she could get and be satisfied, or did she say it was all or nothing? Luckily no one was asking her to make a choice.

  She got to her feet and brushed the grass off her legs. “I’m going inside,” she said.

  He took a deep breath that seemed to echo in the yard. “I think I’ll shoot a few more baskets.”

  Penny wasn’t the most knowledgeable woman in the ways of men, but she knew he wanted to be alone. What a coincidence, since she thought alone might be good also. No, that was a lie. But she would be damned if she’d admit that to anyone but herself.

  “Good night,” she said.

  “Good night.”

  She walked slowly across the yard but she still hadn’t heard the dull thump of the ball hitting the backboard by the time she went into the kitchen.

  Brad left the house in the early morning hour just before dawn again, with Einstein trailing along, and headed out to the tree lot. They passed behind the barn where the basketball net was and Brad felt a sudden burning in the center of his soul. Things had almost gotten out of hand last night, and he was glad they hadn’t. Well, sort of glad. No. not glad at all. Just the thought of Penny lying on the grass there beneath him was enough to start him on fire. But he knew it was best that they had stopped when they had.

  “Yes, I know, little busybody,” he said to Einstein. “You were only doing what came natural. But you were right.”

  Taking advantage of Penny would have been wrong—even the small amount he had last night—but there was a way he could make it up to her. He could make it up to her for his suspicions of Alex and his snooping around. For looking at her papers—though he was sure glad he had. Otherwise, she never would have confided in him.

  Once in the privacy of the young trees, Brad dialed George’s number. He’d do this one last thing for Penny, this one big one, and then he would move on. It was fate, him coming back when he had. Fate that sent him into that bar the night of her poetry reading. And fate that he had it in his power to grant her fondest wish. His lawyer answered, as sleepily as last time.

  “George, it’s Brad.”

  “I figured,” the man grumped. “Who else calls me from a zoo at this time of the night?”

  “It’s morning and I’m on a tree farm.”

  “Whatever. You calling to tell me that you’re leaving for the conference or that you’re ready to talk contract with Technology Unlimited?”

  Brad ignored his question. “You know that Ray Bolger hat we bought in auction? The one he wore in The Wizard of Oz? Has the paperwork gone through for its donation to the Smithsonian?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Great,” Brad said. “I want you to finagle a deal with the Smithsonian people. They get the hat and we get to choose a speaker at their Wizard of Oz seminar next year.”

  George groaned. “And do we have a speaker in mind?”

  “Of course.”

  “Somehow I knew that was going to be the answer. And is this speaker female?”

  Brad frowned. “I don’t usually trade favors just to please some woman.”

  “No, and you don’t ignore business to camp out in some zoo, either,” the lawyer groused. “But you seem to be doing both now.”

  “She’s an old friend.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “That’s all she is,” Brad snapped, his hand tightening around the phone. George was lucky he was thousands of miles, and two time zones away. “I want to keep on top of this one so I’ll be calling you in a couple of days.”

  “What if I have to get ahold of you?”

  Brad hesitated, then gave George the office number for Donnelly’s Tree Service. “Just tell whoever answers the phone that you’re with Techno-Personnel.”

  “Techno-Personnel?”

  “Yeah, people around here think I’m a freelance programmer between jobs.”

  “That’s not too far from the truth.”

  But it wasn’t the truth. None of what he was pretending to be was the truth and Brad suddenly felt uncomfortable. He broke off the connection and slipped the cellular phone in his pocket. Then he stared down the tree line of red maples stretching down to the far horizon. The birds were still singing and the air still smelled musky and alive. But he didn’t feel as great as he had several minutes ago.

  It wasn’t that he was doing anything wrong. He was just helping out an old friend.

  Penny had always been sensitive about this kind of thing, saying that the only reason Brad was helping her was because he thought she was incapable of doing things herself, but this was different. He wasn’t doing anything for her. He was just making sure that she’d have a chance.

  Though it was definitely best done in secret.

  Chapter Ten

  Staying up half the night didn’t bring Penny any great insight. And neither did waking up groggy Tuesday morning. She had no idea how she felt about Brad or how he felt about her. Or whether she should be enjoying what they had. Or even if they had anything right now. Maybe the embraces of the past few days were nothing more than hormones run amok. Or the moon in the wrong house or something.

  If only she had more experience in relationships, Penny thought as she showered and dressed for work. She’d dated and had relationships but never anything very lasting. Neve anything that she’d wanted to last.

  But then she’d never felt in anyone else’s arms what she had felt with Brad last night. But what was it? What did it mean? He was a loner, he’d said, but maybe she was, too. Maybe all this worrying was crazy. She should relax and see what happens.

  By the time she went out into the yard, Penny had a bounce in her step and a smile on her lips. She wasn’t going to fre md worry and stew. Whatever came, came. Her crews were checking their equipment, getting their work schedules from Carl, and complaining about the heat. It wasn’t even seven in the morning and already the temperature was over eighty degrees. A beast of a day to be working outside, but she didn’t mind. The less she fussed over this, the better it would be.

  “I’m going to be doing estimates in town all morning,” she told Carl. “I’ll catch up with you after lunch.”

  “If we haven’t melted,” he said.

  She just laughed. “You’ve all got a ways to go until you melt into a little puddle.” With a half skip, she hurried over to the trailer to get her own schedule. She had a full morning of appointments, if she—

  Brad was coming down the porch steps. He didn’t look particularly lighthearted and her good spirits took a slight hit. Was he still fretting over last night? But when his eyes met hers, he smiled and his mood seemed to brighten.

  “Good morning,” she said, stopping to wait for him. The light breeze still carried a hint of the night’s dampness and memories of being close.

  “Hi.”

  His blue eyes spoke volumes even though his words were clipped and short. His eyes warmed and remembered last night also, showing a flicker of the fire that had almost consumed them. Inviting her to linger in his arms again.

  “Aunty Em insisted that s
he would work the office today.”

  His words held no invitation, though that was just his way and it didn’t bother her. She knew what was in his soul. His eyes told her.

  “She said she was going to,” Penny said.

  “You need me for anything else, then?”

  How about to kiss me? she thought. Or to tell my troubles to? Or just to laugh with me over some small silly thing?

  “No, I don’t think so.” She would play his little game.

  “I thought I’d go on over to Uncle Hal’s and work some more on his personal stuff.”

  “Sure. That’s what you came for, after all.”

  “Yeah.” He looked like there was something else he wanted to say, or something else he wanted to do. She could read the indecision in his eyes, along with a craving for something more. But after a moment, he turned and went back into the house.

  With a sad smile, Penny hurried into the trailer. And he claimed that he never opened his heart to anyone! Obviously he didn’t know about those eyes of his. She got her own list and hurried off to the first stop.

  The library needed the trees trimmed around the parking lot and she counted the number of trees and made some notes. Then they wanted to discuss some new plantings around the front door. And what would grow and bloom there on the shady east side of the building?

  Maybe she had been planted on the shady side of a building. She hadn’t really bloomed until Brad had come along and brought the sun.

  Then she had to hurry off to a church on First Street. This stop was fast. An evergreen ravaged by pine borers needed removing. Measure, count, check access, make notes and promise an estimate within a few days.

  Funny how something so small as a pine borer could take down a huge old tree. Or how something so small as a touch of Brad’s hand could erase years of keeping her heart safe.

  Next she drove over to Lincoln Avenue where several blocks of new sidewalks were going to be put in. She wanted to bid on the tree work involved, but it was a big job and she had to make sure she covered the costs. More measuring, counting and note taking.