Meant For You

by Tomas, G. L.

  “Let me get this straight?” You think I’m a pushover because I refused the money he offered me? I didn’t take the money because I don’t need for him to support me. Especially not after knowing if I had, it would have most likely caused more problems between the two of you.”

  “So, you did it for me?” she asked with an amused laugh, and I swear I wanted to knock that sneer right off her face.

  “No, I didn’t do it for you. I did it for Olli. Whether it pains you to acknowledge it or not, Olli had a past before you, and I was an important part of it. I knew the things that bothered him. Affected him. And I don’t want to cause him any more pain by upsetting you. This wedge between the two of us is, for sure, stressing him out. Probably more than it’s stressing you.”

  I couldn’t explain the look she gave me just then, but one thing was clear. She didn’t like me, and she had no problem letting me know it.

  “How about you worry about yourself and that child you spoke with on the phone, and I’ll worry about Olli. It’s obvious you have other obligations in your life that serve a higher purpose than planning a reunion with a man you married when you were both children— ”

  And in that second, I had no idea what came over me, but I just lost it. Bringing my child into this was just uncalled for and petty, not to mention intrusive for listening in on my phone calls. Here I was thinking we could be civil like adults and friendly toward each other. There was no competition between us; by default, she was the winner.

  The last thing I was going to let her do was discuss my daughter as if she had any inkling of what my life was like outside of her narrow scope of me. Feelings for Olli or not, that wasn’t going to fly.

  “Okay, first off, keep your comments to yourself about my daughter.” I closed in on her, not intimidated by her towering five inches over me. “I get that you don’t care for me being here, but that’s something you should have communicated with your fiancé. When he contacted me, I was under the impression there would be no animosity between us. If I was as petty as you are, I wouldn’t have even signed the papers.”

  “So, why did you?”

  I was beginning to realize this woman just wanted to see to it that she had the power to break me. That she had the access to influence Olli’s very last thoughts of me. If I went off on her, she’d only paint me as bitter, angry and jealous. My love for Olli meant I didn’t want him to remember me as someone who’d held him back from what he wanted for himself. I hadn’t done it eight years ago, and I wasn’t about to start today, but she had to know in this situation; there was no endgame with me. No hidden tricks. No plans to crash their wedding with declarations that I loved him. The reason why I’d signed the papers was really just that simple.

  “Because my love for him runs deeper than my dislike of you. When you care about someone as much as I care about Olli, all you want for them is their happiness. If that’s what you are to him, then who am I to stand in the way of that in this stage of his life?” The way she looked at me with such disdain and confusion in her eyes had clued me in on one major flaw. She just didn’t get it. She didn’t understand how you could love someone so sincerely that their needs were just as important as your own. Sacrifice. If this was the woman he’d deemed as his one true love, I loved him enough to fully support that.

  “I knew you still loved him. I knew the second you laid eyes on him that the feeling had never left.”

  “And what if I do?” By now, I was screaming at the stop of my lungs, my arms spread out to my sides. “I only came here to finalize our divorce so that you could marry him. What more do you want from me?” I ran my fingers through my thick hair, hair I was afraid would become frizzy if I didn’t wrap it soon. My fingers massaged my temples as I sensed an oncoming migraine.

  “He’s yours,” I said in less than a whisper. “He’s fucking yours.”

  Silenced by my declaration, Anna only stared at me, pity mixed with satisfaction in her cryptic blue eyes. If there was anything for her to say, she didn’t even bother saying it. What was there left to say when the person you were running the race against conceded and acknowledged defeat. Only it wasn’t really defeat but an acceptance of a harsh reality. I was ready to get this woman out my life, even if it meant Olivia never knowing her father. Someone who could be that spiteful and disgusting was not someone I wanted around my daughter. The decision was made. I wasn’t going to tell him of the child we’d made together. At this point, all I wanted to do was go home and see my baby.

  “I wish you and Olli the best,” I said as I surrendered to my quarters, hanging my head down with no other plans other than to cry myself to sleep.

  11

  Olli

  It wasn’t until the weight of the mattress gave in that I realized Anna hadn’t been in bed. I’d always been a heavy sleeper, but something told me in that moment, nothing good came from her restlessness. I was about to ignore her, but I didn’t trust that she hadn’t been up to something as the clock confirmed how late it was in the evening.

  “Why are you still awake?” I rubbed the crust from the corners of one eye, noticing she hadn’t looked the least bit tired, nor had she looked like she’d attempted to sleep at all. “It’s after three in the morning.”

  In a hushed tone meant for no one else but me, she went off in Swedish, forcing me to pay attention. “Another woman is in my home. Do you expect me to be happy with this?” She shuffled around as if her goal was to make me as uncomfortable as Benny’s presence appeared to have made her. She was supposed to be back home with her family but she couldn’t leave with the thought of Benny being here. I knew that last outburst from her had been merely for show. “I can barely keep my eyes closed, let alone sleep.”

  I fought the sudden compulsion to defend myself about Benny one last time considering it’d likely make the situation worse if I brought up the fact this had been my home before it had ever been hers. It’d also be best not to mention that until our divorce was finalized, by law, this was just as much Benny’s home than anyone’s. Most of the interior design and layout of the custom-built home had been made with Benny in mind, despite never assuming we’d reconnect or that she’d actually live in it.

  Anna didn’t deserve to feel self-conscious about our relationship, so I decided to keep that information to myself. I had one job and that was to make her feel secure in our union and future. I’d have to diffuse the situation for now. “I’m sorry what I said to you earlier. It was not my intention to be so harsh. I’d just thought you were being unreasonable and unnecessarily unkind to Benny considering the situation.”

  “Thank you for the un-apology. I happen to think I handled the situation well considering she still loves you.” She crossed her arms as if she hadn’t been satisfied that I disagreed with her.

  I unconsciously rolled my eyes as I finally gave her the attention she wanted. “Anna, what are you talking about?”

  Anna was busy jumping to conclusions in her own head—talking out loud but not necessarily to me. “I knew there had to be a reason she wouldn’t take your money. She all but admitted it when I walked right up to that foolish face and told her stay away from you—”

  Now, I was upset, far past annoyed. “Do you ever stop to hear yourself?!” Anna tried to whisper over me, but I would not be deterred now that I was awake and forced to face her envy. “Benny has been nothing but sweet and kind since she got here. She didn’t accept my settlement offer; she flew out on a moment’s notice to sign the divorce documents. What more would you have her do? Grovel at your feet?”

  Anna’s eyes narrowed into those signature slits that let me know she’s mentally conceded but wouldn’t dare voice her defeat. “You paint her out to be this saint.” Her resentment seeped into the air, making the spot we lay in toxic. She was frustrated; I wanted to spend whatever time I had on this earth making her feel confident again, but before then I had to admit I’d been legally married to someone else. Until this was over, I had to deal with the side of A
nna that was a bully and naturally intimidating. I didn’t expect her to be dainty, feminine, and quiet all the time, but I certainly felt times like this made me question whether I could deal with this for the rest of my life.

  “I do not paint her any special kind of way.”

  “You do, though. All while ignoring the fact she’s been busy in the time you’ve known her. Do you know she has a kid?” Her mouth continued to move, but the words kid and she in the same sentence froze time and put me in a mind warp. She was talking, but I heard not a single word. Had Benny really become a mother in this time we hadn’t seen each other?

  Worlds apart, there was this entire life created without me, and still, Anna was threatened by her presence. For all we knew, she could’ve had her own life, seeking this divorce as much as Anna was. I meant, as much as we were. The last of her ramblings had encompassed wondering how a woman could leave her child 5000 miles from home just to make lovesick eyes at the man she’d used to be married to, and honestly I wouldn’t have even heard that if the knock at our bedroom door didn’t put me on alert.

  It wasn’t a common thing in our home to have strangers knock on our bedroom door, so it could either be my butler Adam or Benny. I only had staff in the home three to four times a week when I would host company for business venture dinners or well-planned family gatherings. Adam lived in his own quarters on the property, and Aida, the housekeeper who didn’t live on the premises, wouldn’t start her shift for another four hours. I got up to open the door to find Adam on the other end, appropriately dressed for slumber but alert nonetheless.

  “Mr. Tuominen. You asked me to inform you if anything of interest happened in the next few hours?” He almost asked as a question.

  “Yes, what is it?”

  Adam kept his calm, despite his voice cracking to reveal he was seemingly nervous about what he were about to say. “Your guest, Mr. Tuominen. She asks that she leave immediately. I’m afraid she will not take no for an answer.”

  I didn’t dare turn my head in Anna’s direction in fear she’d be wearing a wicked smirk that read how pleased she was how her plan to get rid of Benny was working out. She must’ve loved this.

  “Give me one moment.” I reached for my slippers and robe to make myself presentable. “I will try and talk to her.

  12

  Benny

  I don’t know what came over me. One minute, I was moments away from crying and the next, I was packing my bags with no real intention but to get the fuck out of here. What was I thinking, believing I could stay here the whole weekend without feeling some kind of resentment? Anna had made it clear that she thought I was on some game to keep in Olli’s good graces, when in reality, she’d felt threatened by my presence. I couldn’t stay another second in this house and subject myself to her mistreatment of me, so I decided that I would just do them both a favor by leaving immediately.

  With the papers signed, there was no other reason for me to be here. As of this moment, I was ready to go back home and face the problems that awaited me head on. Anything was better than staying another night in this house with my now ex-husband and his soon-to-be wife. What peeved me the most about the situation was that she didn’t realize just how good she had it. So focused on the negative, she didn’t see that she was marrying a man who truly devoted himself to you and exhausted all efforts to take care of the woman he was with. She didn’t see that he wasn’t going to be some husband where everything you did for him went unnoticed or unrewarded.

  With Olli, she would be his true equal, just as I’d been when he’d become my husband eight years ago. She was going to have the life with him that I never had, yet she still managed to treat me as if I were going to swoop in and steal her man. I was so done with this place, and I was especially done with her. If someone didn’t get me to that airport soon, I was going to don a pair of skis and get there myself.

  When the butler didn’t return to the foyer after I informed him of my departure, I decided that if he wasn’t going to make the man of the house aware of my sudden desire to leave, I was going to take it upon myself to arrange my own transportation to Helsinki Airport. There had to be transportation services that still operated in this weather; after all, snow like this wasn’t exactly uncommon in this part of the country. People had to be prepared for it. Even if I had to pay a 100 EU surcharge, I was getting the hell out of this house.

  App after app, I checked to see if there were any available driving services that were still taking clients, but with my luck, I got the same message with every single one that they weren’t honoring service calls at this time because of the weather conditions. Just great.

  A low, irritated sigh escaped my lips, the soft squeaking of my boots following me with every step I made on the reclaimed hardwood flooring. It wasn’t until I saw the image of Olli’s lanky, svelte frame making his way down the steps into the foyer that I actually began to calm down my raging emotions about being here.

  His pale green eyes cast a hint of sleepiness with a brush of exhaustion from the obvious argument he had had not too long ago. I assumed it was bad since they chose Swedish and not Finnish to yell at each other, which in essence I was grateful for because I had no desire to understand them. In the time I’d spent in Finland, I’d taken the time to learn enough Finish to be conversational, but Swedish had no similarities to pick apart to understand. As far as their conversation went, it was between the two of them. If I could find any way out of here, I could leave them to handle their brand of dysfunction without any assistance from me.

  “It has been brought to my attention that you’d like to leave,” he stated as he leaned his wide spread arm against the wall closest to me.

  “I didn’t really want to bother you, but when Adam asked me why I had my bag packed, I figured it couldn’t hurt to let you know that I’ve apparently worn out my welcome. I was actually trying to get in contact with transportation services. Are there any ones outside of Uber?”

  “None that have licensed drivers on record. There are a lot of scammers who will take your money, especially if you are foreign and don’t know any better. You’re better off trusting the official ones only. Right now, I’m afraid that’s not possible. People are not going to start plowing right away, so very rarely will someone risk their safety in a storm of this nature. Even if I could get you to the airport, there would no flights scheduled to go out at this time or in this weather.” He crossed his arms, peering at me with genuine sympathy in his arctic green eyes. That made me feel a little better. It meant he didn’t condone his fiancée’s behavior, and I knew deep inside his heart he only wanted me to feel comfortable in his home. But I didn’t feel comfortable, and while the airport wasn’t an option for me tonight, it didn’t mean that I wanted to stay here either.

  “Bendición.” The cadence of his Finnish accent said my Spanish name as if it were the sweetest song. “I apologize for Anna’s behavior. Sometimes, she can be abrasive in a way that’s uncharacteristic of her. If she made you feel unwelcome in any way, I want to remind you that you are my guest this weekend, not hers. You don’t have to walk on eggshells and tiptoe around in fear of having an altercation. I wouldn’t allow that. If you reconsider returning to your room, I’ll see to it that Anna stays in her place for the remainder of your stay.”

  As nice as it was to hear those words leave his beautiful mouth, it wasn’t exactly the news I wanted to hear. I rubbed my temples at the memory of her challenging me and in that moment, I decided the damage had already been done.

  “Thanks, Olli; you don’t know how much your words mean to me but even if there wasn’t a chance I could get to an airport, staying someplace else tonight would really help me get a better night’s rest. I’m homesick and being here knowing I’m adding unnecessary stress to you and your fiancée isn’t making me feel any better about it.”

  “Is it because of your child?”

  My eyebrows cinched, taken aback by his question. I’m sure his little fiancée told him
about my daughter, but it wasn’t really any of her business to mention anything about her to him. His doe eyes held my gaze, searching for something in mine that I wasn’t entirely sure of. It was so intense that I had to look away, sensing if I’d given into him one more second, I would have been compelled to tell him the truth about Olivia. It was just better he didn’t know. Our lives had been separate for so long, there was no need to make things more complicated now.

  “Yes,” I said finally. “I don’t usually spend this much time away from her. This is the longest and furthest I’ve ever been away,” I confessed. At my admission, he lifted my chin with the crook of his long, resilient finger, sending an ease down my spine at the feel of his intimate touch.

  “I promise to get you back to your daughter as soon as time will allow. In the meantime, will you reconsider leaving? I want you here…” he hesitated, “with me,” he murmured, barely audible. But it was for that very reason I didn’t want to stay. Olli always had a way of making me feel like no other man could. Because he wasn’t big on small talk, the seriousness of his words had a long-term effect on my thoughts and emotions. He never said things he didn’t mean, so analyzing his last words were taking my mind to a labyrinth I wouldn’t be able to find my way out of.

  “I know you want me here. Believe me, I do, but I’m just not comfortable and the only way I’d be comfortable is if I were able to stay in a hotel or even a hostel for the rest of my stay here. Please, Olli.” I resorted to begging. He loved/hated to see me beg, but it was the one thing that forced him to always give into my past demands. Running his fingers through his hair, his nostrils flared as he exhaled a deep, frustrated breathe.