“Why can’t you give me what I want?” I asked, and he immediately stopped typing, swinging his eyes over to mine.
“I’m not in the mood for this right now.”
“Well, I need an honest answer. Right now is the perfect time, Cane. My parents are going to be gone for eight days. I’ll be nineteen in September, and in two weeks I’ll be in college. I’m an adult, and they won’t have a clue what I’m up to.”
He didn’t say anything. The clicking of the keyboard filled the void.
I huffed hard then looked past him, out of the window where men were cutting grass and trimming hedges on his front lawn.
“You asked me what I wanted for a going-away gift. You said it didn’t matter what I asked for, you would give it to me.” That caught his attention, and he stopped typing, but kept his eyes on the screen. I leaned forward. “I want this, Cane. I don’t want anyone else to have it but you. Shouldn’t that make you happy? Shouldn’t that please you?”
He made a noise, but it got stuck in his throat.
“I will never ask for anything again, I swear. We can do it once, and that’s it. I’ll never beg you like this ever again, Cane.” He finally met my eyes, and to my surprise, his were sympathetic.
He was quiet for several seconds, pulling his hands away from the laptop. “Godammit.” With a sigh, he sat back in his chair, shutting his eyes and squeezing the bridge of his nose. “Fine, Kandy.” He dropped his hand and said, “Okay. I’ll give you what you want.”
“Really?” My heart sped up several notches. I couldn’t fight my smile.
“I’ll be at my lake house this weekend for a short getaway to catch up on some work. I’m leaving Friday. You can come with me.”
“Oh my God! Seriously?” I hopped off the stool and dropped on his lap, which caused him to grunt lightly. I kissed him everywhere—his forehead, cheeks, nose, and chin. “Thank you!”
He had no idea how ecstatic I was. Friday was three days away. This would be happening soon. Holy shit.
“A lake house?” I asked.
“In North Carolina,” he answered, and I noticed a hint of a smile on his lips. Was it because I kissed him? Did kissing him all over make him feel good?
A lake house meant we’d have a water view. It sounded romantic already.
“I’ll give you what you want, but I want you to realize something,” he started.
“What?”
“After we do this, that’s it. It’s over. I can’t keep doing this behind Derek’s back, and I don’t want to ruin you.”
“Okay, I understand not doing it behind my dad’s back. I get it, that’s why I said I’ll never ask for this again. But how could you possibly ruin me, Cane?”
He shook his head, jaw tensing. “Trust me, it’s possible.” He dragged a hand over his face. His shoulders became tense, his jaw ticking. “Can’t believe I’m really agreeing to this shit.”
“Cane.” I grabbed his hand. I understood his turmoil, and I felt bad for it. He loved Dad. He loved Mom, too. They were like family to him, and the more he wanted me, the more he was risking his bond with them and the loss of their trust. “I know it’s messed up. I already told you I wish things were different but…there’s no one else I want to take this from me. I want it to be special, and for it to be with someone who knows what they’re doing. Someone I trust.” I chewed on my bottom lip. “After this, I won’t ask for anything else, I swear it. I won’t lead you on. I won’t tempt you or come onto you. We can stop and really try to be friends. I don’t want my family to lose you. I don’t want to lose you.” But that didn’t mean I wasn’t being selfish. I was being extremely selfish by doing this. I knew it, but I couldn’t stop myself.
“All right.” He glanced at his computer. “I have some work to finish right now. You can stick around if you want to, but it might take me a while.”
I shrugged. “No, it’s okay. I’m going to grab something to eat and then head home to watch movies.”
“You sure you’re okay being there alone?” he asked, squeezing my waist before I could push to a stand.
“I’m okay. I promise. I actually enjoy the quiet of the house. Helps me think.”
“Think about what? Ways to get me to fuck you?”
I giggled, and my belly fluttered from the growl in his voice. “Maybe.”
When I stood, he let out a throaty laugh. “Drive safe, Kandy.”
I grabbed my bag and headed for the door, but when I looked up, the man who was fixing the chandelier was standing there. His eyes were wide, his jaw slack, and what he said next made me stifle a laugh..
“I thought she was just your friend’s daughter?”
“She is!” Cane snapped. “Go fix my damn light before I hire someone else, Larry!”
I laughed and walked past Larry, whom I felt watching me go.
“If you don’t get your eyes off of her, I’ll poke them out,” Cane grumbled.
“Shit…I can’t help it. Look at her! I’m your cousin, Q. You’re supposed to tell me everything, right?”
Cane said something, but I couldn’t hear. It was a good thing Larry was his cousin. And by the way he and Larry spoke, I assumed Cane trusted him enough not to say anything, or maybe he just didn’t care if Larry had something to say. Either way, it was nice to know his family actually existed.
31
KANDY
Today was the day. Friday.
I had my bags packed with my favorite dresses, skirts, and even some lingerie. I was ready.
I checked my phone for the time. He told me he would pick me up at 11:00 a.m. It was 10:50 a.m. I stood by the door and waited way too anxiously. I couldn’t find it in me to do anything else to occupy my time. I hadn’t seen him since Tuesday, when we made the agreement.
At 10:58 a.m, I heard a car door close. I pushed the curtain aside and spotted Cane walking toward the house. He knocked, and I waited a few seconds before answering, as to not seem too desperate.
“Hey,” I breathed when I caught his eyes.
“Morning,” he murmured. He dropped his eyes to my bags. “You ready?”
“Yep. All set.” I started to pick up my suitcase, but he beat me to it with a smile. He turned, and I followed him out the door, locking it behind me, and then meeting up to his car. He shut the trunk and rounded the car to get to the driver’s side. We both got in at the same time, and when the doors shut, my heart galloped in my chest.
“I thought you were going to be a no-show,” I said, clearing the thick silence.
“When have I ever stood you up?” He push-started the car.
I thought on it for a moment, and realized Quinton Cane had never stood me up. Wow. As busy as he was, he always showed. For my graduation, my softball games, dinners—everything. “Exactly,” he said with a smug grin, and then he pulled out of the driveway. “It takes about four hours to get there, by the way, so get comfortable.”
“Okay.”
He drove away from my house, and for some reason I looked back. I don’t know why, but a sudden realization hit me. I would return to that house without my virginity. I would come back a new woman. An experienced woman. All because of Cane.
“You hungry?” Cane asked.
“No. Now can you please cut the small talk? And all this time I thought I was the nervous one.”
He flashed a crooked smile. “I’m just…” He inhaled deeply before letting it go. “I don’t know. I just thought you’d be over me by this point of your life. College is a blink away. You’re young and attractive and can have any guy you want, but you still want me. I guess I’m just shocked…and worried.”
My eyebrows drew together. “Worried?”
“Yes, worried. You’re my best friend’s daughter. You can rat on me at any time if I do something wrong.”
“I would never do that, Cane.”
“I know, Kandy.” He ran a hand over the top of mine. “I know. I’m just rambling now. Ignore me.”
“It’s okay,” I assur
ed him. I understood where he was coming from. He was worried something bad would happen between us. He knew I would never tell my parents a thing about us, but he also knew that if anything went haywire, I’d never look at him the same again.
I don’t know when I’d fallen asleep.
I was so excited that I didn’t think I would be able to settle down enough to rest, but after having a burger and a milkshake during the ride, along with the sun beaming down on me, I’d succumbed.
I can’t forget to mention that due to my excitement the night before, I’d hardly slept. All I could think about was how he would take me. Would he be gentle at first and build up to a harder thrust? Would he stall and make me wait, or would he get right to it?
A warm hand touched my shoulder, dragging me out of my sleep.
“Hmm.” I shifted a little, peeling my eyes open, trying hard to adjust them to the sun.
“We’re here, Kandy.” Cane had killed the engine, his gray-green eyes on me. I pulled my gaze from him and focused on the house in front of us. It was nice. Simple.
I don’t know why I was expecting a mansion of some sort, or even a house like his real one in Atlanta, but I wasn’t complaining. It was still beautiful.
This lake house was a basic two-story home. There were wide, square windows built into the front of the home and a long, cement sidewalk surrounded by pedicured grass leading up to the front door.
“Wanna check it out?” Cane asked.
“Sure.” I unclipped my seatbelt as he opened his door and stepped out. He placed a pair of sunglasses over his eyes while I lifted a hand, shielding my eyes from the sun. Walking around the car, he made his way up the sidewalk and to the door.
He unlocked the wide brown door and let me walk in before him.
The house was even more beautiful on the inside. The living room furniture was a light shade of brown, the floors made of dark brown hardwood, the lights letting off a soft, gold glow. The accent wall was made of slightly burnt bricks, and built into it was an electric fireplace. The furniture was gorgeous, the placements perfect, but nothing could beat the view.
As soon as I walked through the doors, it was the first thing to pull me in. The water shimmered with the wind, and I could see a pier leading to a square deck not too far off. Green treetops and sand and boats and water. It was absolutely breathtaking.
“Wow. Do you come here often?” I asked, turning to look at him.
He shrugged. “Not as much as I’d like. Maybe twice a year, if that, and it’s always for work. This makes the first time that I’m actually here for work and pleasure, if you will.” His eyes flashed as he looked me over. Not once, but twice. I guess it was a good thing I’d worn my jean shorts and favorite belly shirt. He couldn’t stop looking at me.
I pressed my lips, feeling the burn in my cheeks.
“We’ll have dinner delivered,” he announced, finally pulling away to place his keys on the glass table around the corner. “You okay with Italian?”
“I love Italian.”
“Good.”
Cane headed back outside to grab our suitcases from the trunk and while he did, I made my way through the house, absorbing every feature of every room. Most of the rooms were painted a pale blue and accented with white curtains and white bedspreads. I wondered which room we would be in when it finally happened.
Dinner arrived less than an hour later, and we ate at a large table made of white marble. From the table, I could see the lake and the setting sun perched on the horizon. There was a wide window that Cane had opened, the curtains drawn apart, and a soothing breeze passed by us every few minutes. The sky was remarkable, as if made of swirls of pink and blue cotton candy. I loved this time of year most—when the sun would set and the temperature was comfortable. Not too hot, not too cool.
Cane sat in the chair next to mine and asked me questions about college, my majors, my dorm, and the trip I’d taken for my campus tour with Mom, right before the trip to Destin. I knew I wanted to major in English and marketing. I told him I probably wouldn’t need much. Mom had gone overboard on our college shopping spree several weeks ago. My room was packed with stuff. There was no way it was all fitting in our car, so she was debating renting a U-Haul or a rental SUV.
I was glad he wasn’t making our time alone awkward. I expected him to walk on eggshells around me, but he wasn’t. He was calm and collected. He laughed and still flirted with me, but not so much that it seemed forced. I loved this side of him so much more than he realized.
After dinner, I offered to wash the dishes. Cane had poured himself a neat scotch and was sitting on a stool behind the counter, watching me clean as he sipped. I could feel his hot gaze sweeping all over me and became a little nervous.
Perhaps he was contemplating—thinking about ways to get out of this and take me back home. He could have easily made up an excuse, and I wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it but complain, which he could easily ignore.
Finally, he made a move and pushed off the stool. I glanced over my shoulder and watched as he picked up his scotch. He came around the counter and stopped by my side. “I have a few phone calls to make but it won’t be long,” he murmured.
“Okay. That’s fine.”
“You’ll be okay down here for a while?”
I smiled. “I’ll manage.”
He grabbed my arm gently, stopping me from rinsing the forks. I looked up to meet his glassy eyes, and heat tunneled through me as soon as I locked on them. “You seem on edge, Kandy. You know we don’t have to do this,” he murmured. “I can take you back with no problem.”
My throat worked hard to swallow, like all words had become lodged in my throat. I wanted this to happen. I wanted it so much that the ache was gnawing at every single nerve in my body…but in the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but think about Dad and Mom, or how much this would change things between Cane and me. He wouldn’t look at me the same afterward. There was a chance he’d think I sucked and wouldn’t even visit anymore.
I brushed those thoughts aside. “No, it’s fine. I want to stay with you.”
He dropped his gaze to the floor, as if in deep thought.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
He thought on it for a bit, then shifted his gaze back up to mine. “I just…I don’t know if I’ll be able to be gentle enough with you, Kandy. I’ll try to be, but if there’s one thing I know about myself, it’s that I like to fuck…. hard.” He blinked slowly, and my stomach clenched, but definitely not in a bad way. “It’s been a while since I last had any or did anything…”
“It’s okay…” I turned to face him. “I trust you, Cane.”
“You shouldn’t,” he said, and his gaze became all too serious, his lips pressing thin. He finished off his drink without so much as a wince and then took a step back. “Give me twenty. Make yourself comfortable.” He turned and walked out of the kitchen.
I watched him go then finished up the dishes. My heart wouldn’t stop racing.
His words scared the hell out of me. If anything, they’d felt like a threat, but I knew Cane. He knew when to be in control and when to let loose, but in my situation, it was different.
I was new to him—a young, innocent girl, who didn’t know much at all about pleasure or sex. I was certain he’d never had anyone this much younger than him. He didn’t know what I could handle—hell, I didn’t know what I could handle, but I hoped I could manage whatever he had to offer.
32
CANE
It’d been well over twenty minutes since I’d come upstairs.
I paced the room with guilt in my heart that started as a snowball but had eventually rolled into an avalanche, and I couldn’t control it any longer. I only had one call to make, and it was settled, but as soon as the quiet swept over me and I remembered why I was here, it tore me up inside.
Kandy…
I’d had a lot of shit thrown my way, and I got through it unscathed and with no problem, but I didn’t have it
in me to carry this kind of guilt around for the rest of my life. I feared Derek would smell it on me, or worse, notice the changes. I feared I’d distance myself from him and her, just so I wouldn’t have to face my backstabbing and secrets.
I wanted to give Kandy everything she’d ever wanted, but giving myself to her was a daunting task. She’d sent that text message to me, and I understood where she was coming from, and to be honest, I didn’t want anyone else to have her first. I wanted her to myself, no matter how greedy or selfish that made me. I refused to let another man or boy take what we both knew belonged to me.
With a sigh, I stepped in front of the tall window and focused on the body of water. It splashed over metal-gray rocks and sand, the docked boats swaying gently. It was peaceful. Beautiful. This was one of the many reasons I liked to come here and escape, because of this view. The tranquil sunset made the rippling body of water glitter in an alluring manner that would make any person want to drop their feet in, or go for a ride on a boat.
I knew I couldn’t stay in here forever. She was waiting for me out there, and the last thing I wanted her to think was that I didn’t want her…because that would be a fucking lie. I wanted her so damn much that I was sure the cravings would have killed me if I’d allowed them to take over.
If it wasn’t going to happen now, it never would. We were alone together with nothing but time, and for some reason, that thought alone was driving me out of my damn mind.
It was much easier to say no before because there was always someone or something to cut us off and prevent us from taking things further, but now that she was alone, with no protection and no disturbances, stopping wouldn’t even be on our minds.
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