Loved None But You

by Noelle Adams

  She checked her hand. Three Advil and two Benadryl. It was what she always took when she got a headache this bad.

  She took the pills slowly. One by one so she wouldn’t have to risk too big a swallow of water. She was about to put the cap back on when Robert said, “Drink more of the water.”

  She gave him a half-hearted glare but did as he said.

  When she’d drunk as much as she could, she started to heft herself to her feet.

  “What are you doing?” Robert demanded. “You need to lie down.”

  “I will. I need to pee first, if that’s all right with you.”

  “Oh.” He moved to support her as he’d done before.

  “I can do it on my own.”

  She wasn’t entirely convinced of her claim, but she made it to the bathroom without collapsing. Then she peed and washed her face and brushed her teeth and changed into the nightgown she’d dropped on the floor that morning.

  Robert was still there when she came out again. He watched her with a quiet scrutiny that made her decidedly nervous.

  “I’m okay now,” she told him as she returned to the bed. “Thank you for helping.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  She expected him to leave, but he didn’t. He watched her as she climbed into bed, and then he turned out the bedside light he’d turned on when they first got to the room.

  It was dark now except for the light from the hallway. She couldn’t see the details of his face.

  Somehow she knew his eyes were still resting on her.

  “Thank you,” she said again.

  “You’re welcome.”

  “I was okay.”

  “No, you weren’t.”

  “I’ll be okay tomorrow.”

  “Then go to sleep.”

  “I will.” She felt another tear stream down her face but didn’t want to wipe it away for fear that Robert would see. “Good night.”

  “Good night, Anne.”

  She waited, and after another minute, Robert finally walked to the door.

  He paused again in the doorway. It looked like he turned his head in her direction.

  Then he closed the door, leaving her in the relief of complete darkness.

  Four

  ROBERT DIDN’T GET MUCH sleep that night. He kept waking up and worrying about Anne. He hadn’t wanted to leave her alone, but she would never have accepted his company overnight even if he was just sitting in a chair and making sure she was all right.

  It would have been a stupid thing to do anyway.

  She wasn’t his girlfriend anymore. They weren’t even friends. He was supposed to be moving on and forgetting about her.

  He wasn’t doing a very good job.

  So he tried to sleep and tried not to worry, but he was tired and antsy when he woke up the following morning. He drank a cup of coffee and debated what to do, but he finally gave up and went downstairs to knock on Anne’s door.

  He’d just make sure she was all right and then leave.

  It didn’t mean anything except he was a decent guy.

  The woman who answered the door wasn’t Anne. It was Mary, one of Anne’s older sisters. He’d met her a couple of times when he’d come home with Anne on breaks in college, and he’d never liked her, although she was better than Anne’s oldest sister.

  Mary was wearing a bathrobe and glasses. She frowned across the threshold. “What do you want?”

  “I wanted to check on Anne.”

  “Why? I thought you two were broken up.”

  Robert tried not to roll his eyes. “We are broken up. I still wanted to check on her. She was sick last night. Can I please see her?”

  Mary made a face. “It’s kind of early in the morning for a visit, but I guess you can come in. She’s in the kitchen doing dishes.”

  “Dishes? Why is she doing dishes?” Robert’s frown intensified as he followed Mary into the condo and toward the kitchen, which was set off slightly from the living and dining rooms.

  Mary didn’t answer his question. She just pointed toward the kitchen and went to flop down on the couch.

  Robert walked in to see Anne leaning over the dishwasher.

  “Why are you doing dishes?” he demanded, more bad-tempered than he intended since he was so annoyed with Mary’s rudeness.

  Anne whirled around, clearly surprised by his presence. “What are you doing here?”

  “I’m just checking on you. You had a migraine last night, and you should be resting. Why the hell are you doing dishes right now?” There was no reason for him to be aggravated by that fact. Anne was her own person. She could do what she wanted. It wasn’t his concern.

  But it felt like his concern, and it bothered him unduly that her sister was letting her work this morning when she should be recovering.

  Anne was dressed in a lavender bathrobe with pink bunnies all over it. It was so old Robert remembered it from college. Her hair was hanging down around her shoulders messily, and she looked pale with dark circles under her eyes. She scowled at him as she dropped three forks into the slot in the dishwasher. “I’m doing the dishes because I want to do them. You have no right to come in here and yell at me.”

  “I’m not yelling. I’m speaking at a normal volume.”

  “Your tone was yelling, and you know it.” She shut the dishwasher with more force than necessary. “I’m allowed to do dishes in my own home whenever I want.”

  “But why are you? You had a migraine last night. You should still be in bed.”

  “If you thought I should be in bed, then why did you come over.”

  “Because I know you don’t do sensible things like giving yourself time to recover from a migraine.” He was angry, and he sounded that way. He had no idea how she could rile him up so much.

  He’d come over here to be nice. Not to get into another argument.

  “I’ve recovered just fine, thank you very much.” Her chin was jutting out in the way it always did when she was mad. “If I hadn’t, just think how much good you would have done me by coming over here to lecture me so rudely.”

  He groaned and rubbed at his mouth. “Shit. I’m sorry. I really did come over here to check on you and make sure you’re all right.”

  She responded immediately to his gentler tone. “I’m fine. I really am. You didn’t need to check on me.”

  “Is the migraine gone?”

  “Yeah. I went right to sleep, and it was better when I woke up.” She shifted from foot to foot, dropping her eyes. “Thanks for helping last night. Seriously.”

  “You’re welcome.” He cleared his throat, telling himself that the sudden rush of excitement didn’t mean what he suspected it meant. “I was there. Anyone would have done it.”

  “Maybe. But it was you who did it, so thank you.”

  “Are you going to be okay for the wedding today?”

  “Yeah. I’ll be fine. I’m kind of tired and heavy, but just the relief of the pain being gone makes you feel pretty good afterward.”

  “Okay.” He stood there breathing heavily, telling himself that Anne wasn’t really as pretty and desirable as he thought she was with her downcast lashes and her mussed hair.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay.” He shouldn’t have said that again. He should say something else. And he should definitely not reach out and touch Anne the way he wanted to. He could cup her cheek. Stroke her hair. Pull her toward him.

  Kiss her hard and deep.

  But he wasn’t going to do that.

  He didn’t even want to anymore.

  “I guess I’ll see you at the wedding then.”

  “Yes. I’ll see you then.” He stood for another minute staring at her like a fool until he finally found the will to turn around and walk out of the kitchen.

  “Hope you’re not planning to hang around here all the time,” Mary called out as he left.

  He didn’t reply to her since no reply he managed to articulate would have been civil.

  THE DAY PASSED IN A blur
for Anne, partly from the lingering effects of the migraine and partly because wedding days were always that way.

  Em had hired a stylist to come over to her place and do their hair and makeup before they went to the church, and Anne managed to have a good time with her friends. When they got to the church, everyone ran around flustered and stressed, but that wasn’t unusual in Anne’s experience. She stayed out of the way as much as possible, helping when she could and closing her eyes to relax the rest of the time.

  If she got too stressed, her migraine might come back, and that would be terrible.

  She was feeling pretty decent when they went to pose for some of the wedding photos before the ceremony, and she was ready when they started to line up to process down the aisle.

  The wedding didn’t last long. Everything went smoothly, and Jane and Charlie were both visibly ecstatic.

  Anne was happy for her friends, and she was happy the wedding was over when she walked across to meet Robert and take his arm as they made their exit.

  Robert was looking at her with a strange sort of intensity. She didn’t understand it, and it made her nervous, but she figured maybe he was just feeling weird about last night. He’d obviously been trying to avoid her, but last night had ruined that.

  Maybe he was just trying to figure out how to feel about her now.

  All she needed was basic civility.

  She didn’t expect to be close to him.

  She might feel the loss, but it would be completely unreasonable to expect him to want to be friends with her now, after everything that had happened between them.

  Civility.

  That was all she needed.

  They’d made some progress last night. Maybe they could make some more at the reception.

  She resolved to do so as she held his arm as they recessed out of the church. Both of them would feel better if they could be light and friendly around each other. She was the one who’d broken up with him, so she needed to make the first step now.

  She was going to be nice to him at the reception. As nice as she could be. Even if he was bossy or upset her.

  Nice was better than the deep intensity around him that she just couldn’t shake.

  A FEW HOURS LATER, Anne was sitting by herself at the reception and watching Jane and Charlie do their first dance.

  The reception was being held in the huge, gorgeous ballroom of Pemberley House, which was often rented out for events. They’d had an excellent sit-down dinner, which had just broken up to make way for dancing.

  Anne had run to the bathroom since she’d had three glasses of champagne and two glasses of water. When she returned, she saw no one was at her table anymore, so she sat down on her own to watch.

  She’d only been sitting for a minute when Liz came over to join her. “Is there anything you want to tell me?” Liz asked with a wry, knowing expression.

  Anne blinked. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, is there anything you want to tell me? Is something going on with Robert?”

  “No!” Anne’s eyes widened and she straightened up, genuinely surprised by the question. “Why would you ask that?”

  “Because you left with him last night, and you looked very friendly over dinner just now. I was watching.”

  Anne now understood where the question had come from, and she laughed softly. Maybe it was the alcohol, but she didn’t even feel defensive about it. “No. Nothing is going on. I had a migraine last night. I told you before. Robert was just helping. He happened to be there, and he’d be a real jerk if he hadn’t helped. And after that, well, I guess I decided I’m tired of the tension between us, so I was trying to be nice to him at dinner so we can at least become friendly.”

  “Oh.” Liz cocked her head. “It looked like more than friendly to me.”

  “It wasn’t. We were just talking about the Navy and my new business. It wasn’t anything intimate or special. Riot was right there, part of the conversation.”

  “Yeah, I saw that, but she wasn’t the one Robert was looking at.”

  Anne swallowed. “Please don’t say those kinds of things. I’m trying to keep everything in perspective. I know nothing can happen between us now, so I don’t want to start—”

  “Why can’t anything happen between you now?”

  “You know why. He still resents me for what happened. We’re totally different people than we were. And nothing really has changed with us. The same things wrong back then will be wrong between us again.”

  “Maybe.”

  “No maybe about it. Liz, please don’t tease me about this. I’m not a silly little girl. He’s never going to trust me with his heart again.”

  Liz met Anne’s eyes with a searching look, but then she nodded and reached out to squeeze her shoulder. “Okay. I think it’s a good idea for you two to try to be friendly at least. Then maybe you won’t both feel so weird and awkward around each other.”

  “Yes. That’s what I’m hoping. That’s really all I want out of this. My main goal is still what it was last month. I want to restart my life and be the person I want to be. I don’t want to be the girl who was in love with Robert back then. She’s... she’s not the person I need to be right now.”

  Liz opened her mouth like she would say something, but instead she just nodded again. “Okay. I get it. I’m here to support you, whatever it is you want.”

  Anne smiled, feeling better. Her mind was buzzing a little from the alcohol but in a pleasant way. She applauded with everyone else when Jane and Charlie finished their first dance.

  “Now’s your chance to be friendly again,” Liz said, standing up and brushing off her dress. Like Anne and the other bridesmaids, Liz was wearing a pretty blue dress with a fitted bodice, wide straps, and a soft drape to the ankles. “The wedding party has to dance now. You’re going to be paired up with Robert.”

  Anne’s heart jumped foolishly, but she pretended she hadn’t felt it. “Okay. That’s fine.” She looked around and saw him on the other side of the dance floor, talking to Riot.

  Her heart sank at the sight.

  Surely he wasn’t genuinely interested in Riot. She would drive him crazy in a couple of months.

  “Maybe he’ll want to dance with Riot instead,” Anne said softly.

  “Well, if he wants that, he’s out of luck. We’re supposed to dance with who we walked down the aisle with.” Liz went off to boss everyone in the wedding party into position, and Anne walked over toward Robert, who was propping his cane against the wall.

  “You can keep that if you want,” she said. “We can figure something out.”

  Robert shook his head as he turned toward her. “I’m not going to try to dance with a cane. I’ll just lean on you, and we’ll be okay. As long as you don’t mind if we don’t move around the floor very much.”

  “That’s fine with me. I’m not much of a dancer anyway.”

  “I remember that.” His expression and tone were lighter than she’d seen him since he’d come back into her life.

  Her heartbeat accelerating, she stepped closer to him and clasped one of his hands as he slid his other arm around her waist. “I’m not that bad a dancer.”

  “I never said you were a bad dancer.” The music began and they started to move together—more swaying than doing real steps. “I just said I remembered you never liked it much.”

  “I always feel kind of stupid dancing.”

  “Yeah.”

  His body was big and warm and so close to her. Her blood started to course in response. “You were never too excited about dancing yourself.”

  “I know that.” His eyes never left her face, and his expression was softer, almost fond.

  It did something very dangerous to Anne’s heart. “Then you don’t have to make it sound like it’s just me who’s not much of a dancer.”

  “I didn’t mean to make it sound that way.”

  “Didn’t you?”

  “No, I didn’t.” He pulled her a little closer. He smelled li
ke effort and champagne and whatever his tux had been laundered with. He filled her senses.

  “Oh. I thought you did.” She was completely losing track of the conversation, so she hoped her reply had been appropriate. A pulsing had begun in her wrists, her neck.

  Between her legs.

  All of it was focused on Robert’s warm blue eyes and big, strong body.

  “Well, you were wrong,” he murmured, tilting his head down so his breath wafted against her skin.

  “I don’t think I was wrong.” Her cheeks were flushed now, and she couldn’t take a full breath. It was all she could do not to press her body against his.

  She’d always been attracted to him. From the very first time she’d met him at their college orientation, she’d wanted to kiss him.

  But she couldn’t remember ever wanting to swallow him whole the way she wanted right now.

  She blinked, trying to get her mind to work. “What was I wrong about?”

  “About my implying you were the only one who wasn’t much of a dancer.” He was a little more articulate than she was, but his eyes were slightly fuzzy, and his skin was flushed and damp.

  Maybe he was feeling what she was feeling.

  She really hoped she wasn’t alone with it.

  The hand at her waist slid down slightly so he was pressing into the small of her back. The front of her body was brushing against his, and she loved how hard and real and substantial he felt, like he wasn’t just an image from her memories or fantasies.

  He was a real man. And she was allowed to touch him right now.

  Her fingers tightened on his shoulder as she tried to process this reality.

  “Well?” he prompted.

  “Well what?”

  “Aren’t you going to reply?”

  She had no idea what she was supposed to be replying to. “I thought the topic was over.”

  He smiled and tilted his head down even closer to hers. His mouth was now only a few inches away from hers. “It probably was. But I was enjoying it.”

  “You were? I thought you didn’t enjoy anything around me anymore.” If she hadn’t had three drinks and wasn’t in such a flurry of emotion and desire, she never would have said something so silly, so revealing.