Almost 8 months earlier, the two groups had performed on the same stage, and Brandee was anxious to show the girl rockers that made up ND&L how much their own group had grown as performers. The two groups had gotten along well back then and all of the members of Brandee were anxious to see ND&L again, this time in Laramie, Home of the Cowboys (as Diane liked to remind them). They all believed that it would be a fun night.
As the Nissan passed through Rock Springs on Interstate 80, Suzi was quieter than usual. Normally, she traveled in one of two conditions - talking or sleeping. Today though, she sat quietly and watched the sun climb, illuminating the desolate landscape of southern Wyoming as it passed by the windshield.
Diane looked over at her younger friend.
“Are you all right, Sooze?” she asked quietly, not wishing to wake Bruce, who was asleep in the second seat of the Nissan.
Suzi felt a little sick to her stomach. That wasn't all that was causing her to be quiet though. She had discovered this morning what she had suspected for quite some time. She was pregnant with Bruce's child.
It made some things more understandable, of course. Her ravenous appetite at the chuck wagon in Elko wasn't like her. She thought it was the excitement of eating outside. The craving for Chinese food in Chico had seemed odd but made sense now. She had tenderness in her breasts that she had discounted as being muscle soreness from hours of being on stage. Not true. She was percolating a little Jackson.
Suzi was almost 43. Bruce would turn 46 a few months after her birthday. Since she had been married before without conceiving, she pretty much assumed that it wasn't in the cards for her. While she had never said as much to Bruce, she kind of figured that his motility rate would have been diminished by his years of substance abuse. All of these factors combined had made it seem unnecessary to worry about birth control when she and Bruce had become intimate. At least, that was what she had thought.
Now she had much more to think about. She knew that women were giving birth later and later this century. While she still lived with a young spirit within, and believed the same about Bruce, she wondered about starting off as a new parent at this age. She quickly did some math.
By the time the baby would be 10, Bruce would be 56. Obviously not the youngest dad in the PTA, Suzi thought. On the other hand, how many fifth graders have a dad in a band? Suzi smiled a little at that. She decided to call that one a wash.
By the time Junior (as she had temporarily named the baby) graduated from high school, Bruce would be 64 and she would be 61.
“People will think we're the grandparents," she thought, almost aloud.
One other thing that had Suzi mesmerized was the whole Bruce thing in the first place. She loved the man to distraction. He was the calm yin to her bouncy yang. When she was younger, the other kids in her class called her “Tigger” because of her inability to sit still. She felt at peace with him in her life, but was that enough? Did they have what it took to be a forever couple? Suzi had experienced divorce as a child and did not intend to do that to her own offspring.
Finally, what would be Bruce's reaction when she told him? She had briefly toyed with the idea of not telling him at all, and having it “taken care of” when they got home. The very thought brought tears to her eyes, though. She was scared at the idea of trying to be a mother, but her belief system didn't allow the thought of abortion to be seriously considered. Suzi had been raised by a strict Catholic family. While she and Bruce had never discussed religion too much, she hoped someday to become a little more active in her faith. She hoped that would include Bruce. Now, with her early pregnancy test stick having turned bright blue, all of the questions about Bruce became that much more important.
Suzi turned to Diane and answered her question.
“I'm okay, Di. I think the ride to the Salt Flats yesterday took a little more out of me than I thought it would.”
Diane patted her friend's hand.
“I looked at you a minute ago and thought you were a little green. The road straightens out here. There's hardly a bend between here and Laramie.”
Just then, Bruce woke with an enormous stretch and yawn. He liked the shorter drives better, because then he didn't have to get up so early. He had a hard time getting comfortable in the second seat of the Quest. Regardless, though, when he awakened from his “handsome sleep” as he called it, he was unfailingly in a pleasant mood, not to mention hungry.
“God, I'm starved," all three of them said, simultaneously. Diane and Suzi never failed to crack up about that. Bruce's appetite was nothing if not consistent.
“We're going to be in Rawlins in a little while,” Diane said. “I could use a slice of pepperoni pizza.”
That did it. Suzi's stomach did a barrel roll. She shouted at Diane.
“Stop this thing! NOW!”
Diane pulled on to the shoulder of the interstate. The blue Nissan's rear end slewed first to the right and then to the left in response to the powerful pressure that Diane laid on the brakes. The tires grabbed the gravel surface of the shoulder and the van shuddered to a stop.
Suzi half climbed out and half fell out of the front seat of the van. She took 2 steps further off the road and there, just past the sign that said Exit 171-Superior, she was finally and copiously sick.
Suzi had never been pregnant before. She didn't know the little tricks that expectant mothers sometimes use to ameliorate the effects of morning sickness. Granted, some mothers-to-be don't find that there are any tricks that work at all, and perhaps Suzi would have been one of these, but she didn't even know how to try. All she could do was to bend over at the waist and let fly with everything that she had.
Bruce's eyes widened with surprise. As far as he knew, Suzi had been perfectly fine up until now. The speed with which things had changed was alarming to say the least. He quickly thought about the performance that was scheduled for Laramie. As quickly as that thought came, though, he put it off from his mind. His lady was terribly sick, and it didn't look like she was going to stop showing just how sick anytime soon.
Diane's eyes widened too, but with realization. She recognized the symptoms. She was the mother of 2 daughters, both grown. The fact that it had been over 20 years since she was last expecting didn't mean that she had forgotten what morning sickness felt like. She got out of the car and walked around to where Suzi was standing, with her hands on her knees.
“Do you feel better now, little one?” Diane said gently.
Suzi leaned against her friend. Diane had become so much more than just a friend to her. She knew that Diane knew what she hadn't been told. Somehow, that was okay with Suzi. It seemed right that Diane be the one to figure out Suzi's secret.
“I feel surprisingly okay considering," Suzi said. “Considering that I just embarrassed myself.”
“You didn't embarrass yourself at all. People get sick. Don't worry about it.”
Diane turned her friend by her shoulders, so that the 2 women were face- to-face. Suzi was white as a ghost from her recent exertions. Her nose was running and her eyes were red. She looked much younger than her age at that moment. She looked scared and vulnerable. Diane took Suzi gently in her arms and whispered into her ear.
“But don't you think you should tell him?”
All of Suzi's wondering and worrying from earlier that morning melted away. She knew what she needed to do, and she knew that she shouldn't delay any longer.
By that time, Bruce had joined the 2 women. It appeared that the coast was clear as far as Suzi continuing to be sick in such a profound way. He wanted to provide her with a hug and a kind word, if not a kiss quite yet. Diane stepped away so Bruce could replace her in front of Suzi.
Diane said, “I could use a coffee and bathroom stop. There is an Exxon right over there," she said, pointing across the road and to the end of the exit ramp. “And I'll bet they have coffee.”
She walked away, giving Bruce and Suzi time to themselves.
If it's a girl, I just hope they don
't name her Brandee, she thought. I might get sick myself.
Bruce was perplexed, to say the least. The last he knew, the three of them were talking about pizza. Then Suzi got sick all over the side of the road. Then Diane walked away, leaving the van parked on the side of that same road, apparently so she could get a cup of gas station coffee. The world had ceased to make sense to the shaggy-haired keyboard artist. He started to pose some questions about all of this to Suzi, but she tapped his lips with her index finger.
“We need to talk.”
Bruce looked wary. He had been around women long enough to now that “We need to talk” was rarely followed by a trip to Disneyland. As a rule, it's the most ominous four words that a man can hear. Bruce was no exception to this rule.
“What did I do, honey?” he started. “Did I say something to hurt your feelings?”
Suzi shook her head. “No, baby. Not that kind of 'we need to talk'”.
Bruce nodded and moved a piece of stray hair that had escaped back behind Suzi's ear. She had let it grow out because he liked it that way.
Suddenly, Suzi just blurted it out: “Bruce, I'm going to have a baby!”
Bruce's jaw dropped. When asked later what thoughts went through his head when she told him, he wasn't able to answer. The thoughts came in such a wave that it seemed like a rush of wind in his ears. The first thing that came out of his mouth was a source of amusement for him and Suzi for many years to come,
“How...”
Suzi answered him very seriously, “Well honey, it's like this. When you put your--”
Bruce finally had his thoughts together enough to put a coherent sentence in place. He stopped her in mid-sentence. “I know how. I mean, how long have you known?”
“I've suspected for about 3 weeks. I only knew for sure this morning.”
Another thought came to Bruce. “You've suspected for 3 weeks and you still rode the bike 130 miles an hour on the Bonneville Salt Flats?”
“Relax, baby. There's nothing safer than miles and miles of open salt. No traffic, no bumps, not even a corner. Besides,” she said, poking him in the chest with her finger, “When I get big and fat I won't be able to ride at all.”
Bruce's face was wreathed with a smile. He picked Suzi up and spun her around before placing her gently back on her feet. He kissed her, first gently, then hard, before picking her up and twirling her again. Then he stopped and looked into her eyes.
“We're going to have a baby," he said incredulously, as if it was an idea that he had thought up himself. “I need to grow up.”
Suzi laughed. “Don't grow up too fast, big boy. We want to be the coolest parents on the block.”
The last twirl had moved the couple in front of the van. From inside the Exxon station, Diane looked out the window. Even from that distance she knew a happy spin when she saw it. She left the gas station on the run and returned to the parents-to-be. There, the three of them hugged each other, first in couples and then in a happy, dancing threesome.
Before they got back in the van, Bruce had an idea.
“I have a name for the baby, boy or girl," he said. “How about Wyoming?”
Suzi laughed. “Let's think about that one for a while. I guess I'm just glad I didn't tell you in Vermont.”
***
The unscheduled stop outside Superior had closed the distance between the musicians and Jake and Brandee. The gap that had been an hour and a half when they left Salt Lake City was down to just a little over an hour now. Jake stroked his wife's hair as the Sprinter motored along. She hadn't taken her usual nap in the car. They were talking about the future.
“Where do you want to go that we haven't been, Jake?” Brandee asked.
He thought for just a second or two before answering. “I want to say that I've been in all 50 states. I want to eat or stay the night in every state in the union.”
This answer wasn't what Brandee wanted to hear. “Don't you want to go someplace mysterious and romantic? Come on, Jake! Think big. Who cares if you ever get to Kansas? It's just Nevada without the big casinos. I want to go to Casablanca, or Borneo. I want to ride a camel over a sand dune. I want to do what most people don't do. Like sing in front of a pyramid.”
Her sense of adventure always delighted Jake. The truth was, he only wanted to be with her, whether it was in Topeka, Kansas or faraway Morocco. He had done a little bit of international travel when he was young. His parents had taken Jake and Rebecca to Israel and Egypt with a stopover in Copenhagen when Jake was 11 years old. Jake had thought that the trip was great fun. He had ridden a boat on the Sea of Galilee, and sipped a beer in Denmark. It was a great memory for him.
Brandee was his greatest adventure, though. He thought as much as he wound his fingers through her hair. He hoped that she found being with him as exciting as he found being with her. This tour was the most exciting thing that he had ever done. It was because of Brandee. They were seeing parts of America together (not the prettiest part, he granted, looking at the scrubby bushes along the side of the highway) and he couldn't be happier. Combine that with getting to hear her sing virtually every night. What could be better?
The group's one night off had whetted Jake's appetite to see her on stage in Laramie. He thought to himself about his favorite part of her stage presentation.
Jake loved the wind machine. Watching her undulate under the touch of the wind machine, which usually occurred about halfway through the show, was the highlight of the evening to him. He had never told Brandee this, because it was a part of the show where she actually wasn't singing, and he didn't know how she would feel about that. He couldn't help it though. The sight of her hard little body writhing in response to the motion of the air around her made Jake physically aroused. It didn't matter how often he saw the show.
Jake knew that, most nights, he wasn't the only one who liked the windy times. When he could tear his eyes away, he looked into the crowd to see what effect it was all having on the people who had come to the show. He saw the look in the eyes of the men. He knew what they were thinking. The fact that they couldn't have what he had beside him right now made Jake realize how lucky he was. He didn't need Borneo. He had Brandee Evans.
***
The rest of the trip to Laramie was largely uneventful for the other members of Brandee. Bruce asked Suzi if she was okay every 10 minutes, but other than that, the three musicians mostly kept up a convivial banter. Suzi gave Bruce some grief for having asked “how” in response to her revelation, and Bruce defended himself. Diane was greatly amused by the give and take.
Jake and Brandee continued their conversation about their hopes and dreams for the future. Often enough, their ambitions were similar, but what kept showing up during their talk was how much more adventurous Brandee was than her husband. Never before had the difference in their ages shown up as much as it did on this day. At 34, Jake was more settled than his young prize. It wasn't only the age difference though.
By nature, Jake was more content with how life played out. He had been raised in a stable loving household. Certainly he wanted to succeed, but he wasn't as driven as Brandee would have liked him to be.
Brandee was a climber. Ever since she had lost her father in her teens, she had fought destiny, always reaching for the next rung, fearful that the one she was on was going to disappear from under her. As much as she loved Jake, she wanted her happiness to be a result of what she did, not the actions of others.
Shortly after 2 p.m., the members of the group reunited in Laramie, Wyoming. They had 5 hours before they needed to be onstage at Arena Auditorium.
The University of Wyoming was a hidden gem. Just east of the beautiful Snowy Range in extreme southeastern Wyoming, UW offered a blend of academic and socio-cultural opportunities. These included year-round cultural and recreational activities. Located in Laramie, a town of 30,000 with a milieu that is both small town out West friendliness and larger city sophistication, UW educated over 13,000 students from all 50 states and more th
an 75 countries. The University was a research facility, a leader in aerospace as well as wind power technology.
Arena Auditorium was located mid-campus. Unimpressive from the outside, its pure dome shape offered excellent performance acoustics. Despite its square footage, its 16,000 person seating capacity didn't seem that large to Brandee. The balcony hovered over the main floor seating area, giving the venue an intimacy that belied its size. The rehearsal and sound check went off without a hitch, and soon the group was together again in the parking lot. Jake and Brandee were headed for The Holiday Inn, which was conveniently right next to campus. Diane, Suzi, and Bruce would be right behind them after securing the instruments and the vehicles. Before they separated from the musicians for a couple of hours, though, Jake had a question.
“What's going on?” he asked Suzi.
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