In the kitchen, I considered my choices — coffee, decaf, Carole’s tea, herbal tea — and decided on chamomile to soothe my nerves. The last thing I needed was to be any more anxious.
Just as the kettle boiled, Tina came out rubbing her eyes. Her magic popped and poked, all jagged anger and fear. “Gavin says he’s not getting up today. He doesn’t want to leave.”
Tears smarted at my eyes, and my voice was shaky as I said, “I’ll let him stay there for a few minutes longer. What do you want for breakfast today? Eggs? Pancakes? Whatever you want.”
“I want to know I’m going to be here for dinner, too.”
Way to twist the knife, kid. “I want that, too.” I swallowed my tears. I wanted my next words to be clear. “I always want you here with me. You and Gavin mean the world to me. I hope the judge realizes that, but what I know is that we have now, right now, this morning together, so we need to act like we actually enjoy this time, okay?”
Her mumble might have been “Okay.”
“Now, what do you want for breakfast?”
Her shrug wasn’t really an answer. I made her scrambled eggs and toast, then went to get her brother out of bed.
Tina’s bed, usually neatly made before she came out in the morning, was still rumpled with sheets twisted this way and that and her pillow wedged between the bed and her nightstand. Her clothes for this morning were neatly laid out on her dresser, but she had two different shirts picked out. She was never indecisive — usually she had the whole week’s clothes laid out on Sunday.
Gavin’s side of the room didn’t look much different from normal — scattered toys and books, a plush or two. No clothes ready, because he’d grab whatever was handy in each drawer minutes before time to go. His bed resembled a green cocoon, though. I sat down next to the elongated lump. Where Tina’s magic was bright and poky, his was as sullen and gloomy as the day outside.
“Not getting up.” The muffled words came from under the blanket, which Gavin had pulled around his head to completely hide himself.
“You have to go to school.”
“You can’t make me.”
His Wally was lying on the floor between their beds — never a good sign. I picked it up and hugged it close, again feeling the prickling at my eyes. I couldn’t let myself think this was the end.
“I could, you know. Or I could make you regret not doing it. I’m really good at that sort of magic.” I brushed the tears off that had fallen on Wally and placed it next to where Gavin’s head should be. “I won’t, though. I’ll tell you what I told your sister — I want you here. I hope the judge agrees with me. But if we spend the morning together miserable, that’s not a really good memory for us to have, is it?”
Wally vanished under the blanket, and Gavin didn’t say anything.
I rested my hand on his back. “I love you. You know that, right? And your dad loves you, too. No matter what the judge says, those things won’t change.”
He squirmed around and burst out of his blanket to grab me. He was crying, and all I could do was put my arms around him and hold him while my own tears fell silently on top of his head. My stomach, my heart, my throat were all tight with worry and fear, but I tried to force myself to relax so he could do the same.
After a bit, he gulped a few times and pushed back enough to talk, though not to look at me. “I want to stay with you. I thought I wanted the family together, a normal family, with Dad and you and me and Tina, and when the judge asked me what I wanted, whether I wanted to be with you or Dad, I shrugged and said I didn’t care if I had to pick because I didn’t want to have to choose and now if the judge makes us go, it’s all my fault, and I don’t want to! I want to stay with you.”
I planted a kiss on the top of his head. “The judge has done this a lot, honey. I’m sure she knows how confusing and hard it is, and she’ll take that into account.”
He clung tighter, and I squeezed him back. When he finally relaxed, I tilted his head back and wiped the corner of his eyes with my thumbs.
“Okay, why don’t you go blow your nose, wash your face, and have a drink of water? I’ll make some eggs for you.”
Gavin nodded and sniffled a couple times.
I released him and headed back toward the kitchen, but I stopped cold in the dining room. Tina might have had a couple bites of her toast, but her eggs looked mostly like she had pushed them around the plate a bit. Anxiety settled back into my gut like a lead weight.
She looked up at me. “I guess I’m not hungry. Can I get dressed now?”
I nodded once, trying not to let my worry spill from my face, even though she probably noticed the unsettled feeling of my magic — or, no, she saw it, didn’t she? Probably didn’t look very pretty this morning.
“I’ll pack an extra snack for you in case you get hungry later.”
In the end, that was what I wound up doing for both of them. I walked them to the bus stop — something they were usually reluctant to have me do — and waited with them in the cold and damp, ignoring the chatter of the other kids and parents. Far off, high above the sounds of traffic and languages mixing around me, I heard music, soaring and windswept notes that made me think of a dragon coiling through the skies, and I knew that Hsien was making a promise, that he would be there with them, for them, whatever happened. I appreciated the sentiment — they were going to need him — but right now, it wasn’t enough to ease my burden. Nothing was, not until I heard the judge’s decision.
No familiar faces stood outside the courtroom waiting for me. That wasn’t good — if they were all inside, I was later than I thought. Way to make a good impression on the judge.
I pushed the door open and slipped inside, trying — and failing — to be inconspicuous. My parents gave me encouraging smiles as my gaze swept past them.
“Ms. Karalis, so nice of you to join us.”
My throat was too dry to swallow, and I didn’t trust myself to speak, just nodded quickly and darted up the aisle to take the seat next to my lawyer. Right now, I couldn’t even remember his name — someone Lashonda recommended, I knew, but you’d think something important like that would stick.
I was babbling mentally again, and I still couldn’t swallow. I stared up at the judge, not willing to look over to where Matt sat in his business suit, so obviously competent and on top of things. Why hadn’t I signed the form he brought? I’d still get to see the twins sometimes, and right now, I wasn’t sure that was going to be true.
“Ms. Karalis, Mr. Liu. I’ve gone over all the reports, and I even took the time to sit down with your children. I’m disappointed that this had to get this far. You should never have come to trial.”
That was it. She knew about the custody settlement I’d been offered, and she thought I should have taken it, too. I wanted to look away, but I couldn’t help myself — my eyes were fixed on her, mesmerized with the horror that I knew was coming.
“Your children certainly have opinions.” She permitted herself a smile. “And no shyness about expressing them, either. They were very sad and perhaps angry with me when I told them I had no intention of insisting the two of you get married. They were the only ones who thought that would be a good idea.”
The judge paused and shifted a few papers in front of her, moving them from one pile to the next. “Although it is true that women often have an advantage in custody suits, and will frequently be given primary custody even when both parents ask for joint custody, I prefer to examine families on a case-by-case basis to determine what is in the best interests of the children. Based on the information I had, I also saw no reason to accept Mr. Liu’s petition for sole custody, or even for reversing the current arrangement so that he has majority custody.”
Matt’s fist slammed against the other desk. My eyes flicked involuntarily toward him, but then immediately back to the judge. The tight knot in my chest flexed. Was she saying what I thought she was saying? Joint custody would be difficult if she insisted on an even time split, but it was so muc
h more than I’d feared I would get.
“The compromise you have been using for the past several years is a good one, although I will not require you, Ms. Karalis, to remain in your current living conditions. Having family nearby has unquestionably been beneficial for the children, but the stress involved — especially since Mr. Liu saw fit to file this suit — cannot have been good for anybody involved. Therefore, in the case of Liu v. Karalis, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts finds in favor of Karalis as primary custodian of the children Gavin and Tina Liu, with Liu to have custody on alternate weekends and holidays. The court also has a document with recommendations for summer and winter break splits that you will each receive a copy of.” She paused. “I have also removed drop-in privileges for each of you. Your time with the children is yours alone without advance request and permission.”
“Are you kidding me?” Matt burst out. His lawyer attempted to quiet him, but Matt jumped to his feet. “How can you not see how irresponsible she is? She doesn’t work consistent hours, she hired a busker to teach our son violin, she’s dating someone she doesn’t want me to meet — she couldn’t even get here today on time. How can you think she’s fit to mother our children?”
The judge looked down her nose at Matt, ignoring the bailiff who was moving toward him, no doubt to remove him if he got any rowdier. “As I understand it, you’re the one who thought she was fit to mother your children, and there are more fertilized eggs in storage if she wants to have more. That ship has sailed. As for her job, her boss tells me that since Ms. Karalis took over as manager, receipts have doubled — and she still manages to read to the children at night, I hear.”
“But—”
She overrode him. “This court has made its decision. If you wish to continue, you will be held in contempt of court. You would find it impossible to have the children over at all if you’re in jail.”
He flinched. He wanted to keep arguing, but that stopped him.
“Dismissed. Next case will be heard in five minutes,” the bailiff said.
I looked at the judge with my heart in my throat. I wanted to thank her, but I imagined that would be improper.
Matt couldn’t let well enough alone. Shrugging off his lawyer’s hand, he came over to stand in front of me. “I suppose you’re happy now?” he sneered. “Knowing you, you’re probably going to keep living in my family’s building, just to make life difficult for me.”
I shrugged. “For as long as they’ll have me.” No point in telling him that I was ready to move. He’d learn soon enough. For now, I would go home and spend my promised hour in the kitchen with Benjamin, then celebrate later with the twins. On the way, I’d figure out what to the Lius, although Matt would probably call them first.
Tomorrow, the twins and I — and Haris — would celebrate Thanksgiving at my parents’ house. I truly had much to be thankful for.
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About the Author
Erin M. Hartshorn did her graduate work in fish olfaction (and yes, she’s heard all of the jokes about how fish smell) before turning to words to make her living. Her freelance business makes others’ words look good through copyediting, proofreading, and indexing. Her fiction has appeared both online and in print, placed in the PARSEC short story contest, and been shortlisted for the Universitat Politècnica de Catalunya Award for science-fiction novellas. She currently serves as Vice President for the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America (SFWA). She also publishes mysteries under the pen name Sara Penhallow. Erin lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and their two kids, who are gradually being inculcated in the joy of all that is science fiction and fantasy.
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Acknowledgments
This book was written with much encouragement from all the writing communities I am a part of, including Forward Motion for Writers, Codex, SFWA, and 5Writers. I want to thank my valuable first readers, Bonnie Schutzman and Trevor, both of whom pointed out areas where the book could be stronger (or where I just plain screwed up). Remaining errors, of course, are my own.
Pepper and Matt’s Family Trees
The Boston Technowitch Series
Ghost Garages
Siren Circle
Troll Tunnels
Maenad March (coming soon)
Related Work
Dreamwalker (free e-book for newsletter subscribers)
Troll Tunnels Page 26