by Miranda Lee
The jaw line. 'You're my father,' she said weakly. A statement of fact, not a question. Courtney felt both dazed and confused. Where was the fury she'd always thought she would feel if her father ever dared show up again in her life?
He smiled softly again. 'Please don't be angry with me. I didn't desert you, you know. I always wanted to be a part of your life. But Hilary wouldn't let me. She wouldn't even let me see you. And you know your mother,' he added grimly. 'She could be like a brick wall.'
Courtney tried not to go to mush, because for all she knew he was lying. 'Why didn't you apply to the courts for custody rights, then?' she challenged. 'They would have granted you some as my father."
'I had no proof, and this was before DNA tests, remember? No, that wouldn't have worked. Hilary would have fought me and it would have become ugly.'
'Well, of course Mum would have fought you. You broke her heart, don't you know that? Because of you, my mother hated men.'
'Hilary hated men long before I came along. It had something to do with her father rejecting her because she wasn't a lad. Look, I don't know what your mother told you about me, but I can guess. I seduced her because I had my eye on Crosswinds? I made her pregnant to trap her into marriage and get my greedy hands on her property and her horses? Am I close?'
'You left the bit out about being caught with one of the stable girls at the same time as you were sleeping with my mother.'
'Oh, lovely,' he said with a bitter twist to his mouth. 'I wasn't just a golddigger, I was a serial seducer as well.'
'Are you saying none of this is true? That my mother lied?'
He shrugged. 'Maybe she convinced herself afterwards it was true. Maybe she thought that was the sort of man I was. Yeah, there was a stable girl. And, yeah, we were seeing each other. But that was before I slept with your mother. Look, I don't want to paint your mother out badly in your eyes, Courtney, but in all fairness I'd like to be telling my side of the story.'
'All right,' she said, still slightly dazed.
'Yeah, Hilary found me physically attractive, but she wasn't in love with me. She wanted an heir for Crosswinds and she paid me to sleep with her. Two thousand dollars.'
Courtney's eyes bulged.
'A pittance, you'll probably be thinking. But it was a fortune to me at the time. I was twenty-five and stony broke. The money bought me a motorbike.'
As her initial shock waned, Courtney conceded it was possible. It was the sort of thing her mother was capable of doing.
'Hilary chose me the same way she'd have picked a stallion,' Sean added bitterly. 'She told me I had all the right genes she wanted to pass on to her son. Good looking. Well-built. Nice eyes. And I was great with horses. Fearless, she said. She liked that most of all. She believed my being half-gypsy meant horses were in my blood, and my children would have that same blood. Which, I have to admit, turned out to be right. You can ride, lass. And you're fearless. Your mother got what she wanted in that, even if you did turn out to be a lass instead of a lad.'
Courtney couldn't help being fascinated by Sean's story. It was so bizarre it just had to be true. 'You're really half-gypsy?'
'Romany. On my father's side. My mother was Irish. My parents never married. I carry my mother's surname. My father used to leave her with regular monotony, only coming back when he needed a roof over his head, or some money, or some sex. My mother was besotted with him, but he was a wanderer.'
'If what you say about my conception is true,' Courtney said, 'why would you think my mother would ever let you have anything to do with raising me in the first place? You must have known she'd get rid of you once she was pregnant.'
Sean sighed. 'That was my plan too, at the start of things. I reckoned on one night and I'd soon be out of there with my two grand. But it didn't work out quite that way. Hilary was not a young woman. It took months before she fell. And by then things had changed. I fell in love with her.'
'But she was twenty years older than you!' Courtney protested. 'And hardly a beautiful woman.'
'I know that. But it was strange. After a while, I didn't notice any of that. She had a damned good body and she was very passionate. In the end, I couldn't stay away from her. When she finally told me she was expecting, I asked her to marry me.'
'My God! And what did she say?'
'She laughed, then fired me, with no references. You can imagine how I felt. I argued with her. I pleaded. I even made love to her one last time in some mad attempt to reach her. And I thought I had. She was...well, she was a wee bit upset afterwards. But then, suddenly, it was like she brought down some hard shell over her feelings. She turned on me, warning me that I had no real proof I was her baby's father, and that if I ever made any demands on her, or the child, I would regret it till my dying day. So I left, drove off on my well-earned motorbike. But not for her. For you,' he insisted, his dark eyes intense.
Courtney sucked in a deep breath, then let it out in a slow, shuddering sigh. Her father's eyes never left hers for a second.
"There wasn't a day that I didn't think of you,' he insisted, in a voice throbbing with emotion. 'Or wonder what you were like, what you were doing. I tried to keep an eye on you from a distance. I knew Hilary had a girl, and I knew she was a beauty. I used to hang around Queenswood, hoping for a glimpse of you. But it never happened, and in the end I had to get away. Right away. So I went to other states to work. Even then I used to hear things about Hilary Cross. She was a woman people talked about. When I found out she'd bought Goldplated, it bothered me. I didn't much care that she'd been cheated, but I cared for you. That horse was part of your inheritance. When I heard she'd died, I just had to come and help my little girl.'
Emotion mushroomed up from Courtney's heart like an atomic cloud, clogging her throat. "That was very kind of you,' she managed. "Thank you.'
'I didn't mean to tell you I was your father. I don't expect anything from you. I understand you don't know me, and couldn't possibly love me...'
Tears actually came into his eyes.
Courtney wasn't sure who made the first move, but seconds later they were in each other's arms, hugging and weeping.
'Oh, lass...lass,' he cried.
She couldn't speak. She just clung to him.
'So this is what's been going on since Jack went away. Courtney Cross, I'm ashamed of you!'
Lois could hardly believe her eyes. She'd been shocked earlier this week when Jack had rung and announced he and Courtney had fallen in love and were getting married. But, once she'd got used to the idea, she'd thought they were a great match and their marriage the answer to everyone's prayers, hers included.
So she'd been doubly shocked on arriving at Crosswinds a little while ago to find that Jack was already in the process of leaving again, saying Courtney believed he'd been sleeping with Katrina while he was in Sydney and had told him to get lost, so he was going to, as soon as he'd unloaded everything.
Now she was triple-shocked to find Courtney in the arms of another man, making her accusation of Jack being unfaithful look very hypocritical indeed!
'This isn't what it looks like,' Courtney said shakily on pulling out of the stranger's close embrace.
Scepticism was Lois's first reaction once she got a good look at Courtney's bit on the side. This was a seriously sexy-looking guy, despite the fact he had to be well over forty.
'I'm not Courtney's lover, Ms. Wymouth,' the sexy stranger said firmly.
Lois could not decide whether to be annoyed that he recognised her. Or flattered. 'Oh, really?'
'He's not,' Courtney insisted, her cheeks as red as her eyes. 'He's my father.'
Lois didn't usually gape. But this time she did.
'I...I didn't know till today,' Courtney went on, more flustered than Lois had ever seen her. 'Sean's been here this past week, helping us with Goldplated. You see he and Mum...they...oh, it's such a long story!'
'Too long to tell me now,' Lois said swiftly. 'In a few minutes Jack will be doing what you told him to
do earlier. Are you quite sure that's what you want? Because, if it isn't, you'll have to hurry to stop him from leaving.'
Courtney stiffened. 'I don't care if he does leave. He doesn't love me. He still loves Katrina.'
'What a load of old rubbish. Jack doesn't love her. He loves you. He told me so himself.'
'He was just saying that. It's the story we agreed upon to tell everyone.'
Lois felt like slapping the silly little fool. 'You think I can't tell the difference between a made-up story and the truth? The man's crazy about you. I ought to know. I've spent the last few days being dragged from shop to shop whilst he bought you everything under the sun for your wedding. Rings. Clothes. Shoes. Lingerie. Perfume. No man goes to that much trouble for a woman he doesn't love. He told me he knows how busy you are up here at the moment and he wants everything to be absolutely perfect for you.'
"That's all very romantic-sounding, Lois,' the girl still argued, 'but nothing you've said changes anything. It's a game Jack's playing. Just a game. He's playing perfect fiance. But he's not perfect. He was in bed with his ex-girlfriend last night. I know it.'
'He said that was what you thought, but it's not true. She was there at the house, admittedly, but she just showed up out of the blue and insisted on talking to him. He said he heard her out then sent her away again. He swears he never touched her. He said he can't stand a bar of her any more.'
'Well, he would, wouldn't he? He wants our marriage to go ahead.'
'Why would he want that, if he still loved Katrina?' Lois pointed out logically.
'Why? Because of the baby, that's why!'
'The baby!' both Lois and Sean exclaimed at once.
Sean turned Courtney to face him. 'You're having Jack's baby?'
'I...I might be. I don't know yet. But, yes...it's on the cards.'
His dark eyes blazed. 'And you're sending him away?'
'He...he doesn't love me, Dad,' Courtney cried. 'I can't bear it if he doesn't love me.'
'Oh daughter, daughter, don't do what your mother did. Don't send Jack away without talking things out with him. He might not love you as much as you love him, but he very well might. He might love you even more. You'll never know if you don't find out. You told me earlier your mother loved me. If she did, then she never said so. Maybe she was afraid to. Maybe she thought I was too young. Or maybe—like you with Jack—she thought I didn't love her back. If only she'd been honest with me, we might have married, or at least come to some kind of understanding, and I wouldn't have lost all those years of being your father. So for your baby's sake, if no one else's, go to your Jack and talk to him. Tell him how much you love him.'
'I...I can't,' she wailed, her face anguished.
'You can't! You, Courtney Cross, the most fearless lass I've ever known, can't tell a man she loves him? I've never heard so much balderdash in all my life. Now, get yourself up to the house before your man gets away. And don't walk. Ride.'
Lois was amazed at the man's strength. For someone not all that tall or that big, he hoisted Courtney up into the saddle as if she was a feather.
Great hands, Lois thought as she watched him. Great eyes. Great buns too.
I wonder if he needs a job...
Courtney's head spun as she rode towards the house, her heart pounding along with the horse's hooves. Too many emotions were see-sawing through her. Too many contradictory thoughts.
Jack doesn't love me. I know he doesn't. How could he? How could any man? ,
Yet Lois seemed so sure...
And then there was what Sean had just said to her.
You don't really want to end up like your mother, do you?
She kicked the horse into a faster gallop and rounded the last comer, which brought the house into view, only to see Jack climbing in behind the wheel of the red sports car.
'Jack, waitr she called out. But he must have gunned the engine at that moment for he didn't hear her. With a spray of gravel, the car was off, and gone.
She took off after him, but the car was too fast for her. Way too fast '
She'd never catch him, not even if she cut across the yards. Yet she had to try, didn't she? She couldn't just give up now!
It was madness, the speed at which she started taking the fences. The horse only had to put one foot wrong and they would fall.
The thought of actually losing Jack's baby, a baby she didn't even know she'd conceived as yet, jolted her so much that she immediately reined the horse in, and just watched Jack drive away. She watched till there were no specks of red through the trees. Watched till all the dust his car kicked up had dissipated and there was nothing left to show that he'd ever been there, nothing but a child, perhaps, already growing inside her.
It was a falsely calm Courtney that returned to the house and walked slowly upstairs to her room, where she found several boxes and plastic bags dumped on her bed.
With dry eyes, she opened them one by one, then carried them into the guest room where she laid them all out on the velvet spread. The lovely white lace suit The matching picture-hat. The pearl high heels. The luxurious and quite sexy underwear. The huge bottle of perfume. The velvet box of matching wedding rings. And, last but not least, the beautiful ruby and diamond engagement ring.
She stared at that ring for a long time before clutching it to her heart and slowly sinking to the floor by the bed, her head coming to rest against one of the posts. She didn't cry. She was beyond tears. Way, way beyond.
She heard Agnes's footsteps on the staircase, and willed her not to come in to the room.
She didn't. It was Jack who walked in. Jack who came over and lifted her up into his arms.
'Now, you listen to me,' he said, cupping her face and looking deep into her eyes. 'I love you, Courtney Cross. You, not Katrina. And I know you love me. So don't you ever tell me to go away again. Because I'm not going to. I'm not going to leave you ever again. We're going to be married and we're going to have babies together. And we're going to live happily ever after.'
And, with that, he folded her against his huge chest, crushing her close, his lips in her hair.
'Now tell me you love me,' he insisted. 'No waffle. No bulldust. Just say, I love you, Jack.'
'I love you, Jack,' she choked out, still clutching the ruby ring to her heart.
He sighed. 'About time, too.'
'Guess who I just saw in the ladies', Courtney whispered to Jack on returning to the members' stand.
'Don't tell me,' he said drily. 'Katrina.'
'Got it in one! Would you believe she didn't recognise me at first with my glad rags on?' Courtney was wearing the glorious white lace bridal suit Jack had bought her, complete with picture-hat. Lois had suggested it, saying that such an outfit wouldn't look at all out of place at the Melbourne Cup meeting.
Now that she was there, Courtney had to agree, and she did look pretty good, even if she had to say so herself. Perhaps even better than on her wedding day, her figure having filled out somewhat now that she was three months pregnant. Did she have a bust, or what!
'And?' Jack probed.
'Once she realised who I was, she gave me a panicky look, then disappeared like a shot'
'Good to see she took heed of what I told her that night.'
Courtney glanced up at her handsome husband, who was looking simply splendid in a light grey suit. 'Which was what, exactly? I never did ask you.' It was just curiosity asking. Courtney hadn't doubted Jack's love since the day he came back for her.
'After she came out with all that drivel about realising she'd made a mistake and that she still loved me, I told her she had absolutely no idea what love was, that all she loved was her own selfish self. I warned her that if she was ever to show up on my doorstep again, or ring me or try to contact me or do anything to destroy my relationship with you, then she had better emigrate. Fast! Then I told her to get her pathetic hide back to her husband, because soon her inner ugliness would show in her face and then no man would want her, not even one as stupi
d and shallow as George.'
'And did she? Go back to him?'
'I gather she did, which is why she's here today.'
'My God, her husband's not presenting the Melbourne Cup, is he?' As much as she wasn't undermined by Katrina any more, the less she saw of the woman, the better.
'No,' Jack confirmed.
Courtney sighed her relief. 'Not that we'll have to worry about that,' she went on. 'I mean, Lois has done wonders just getting Big Brutus into the race today. His win last week in the Werribee Cup was simply fantastic, but this race is so hard. As much as I'd be over the moon if he won, I can't seriously get my hopes up. A place would be lovely, though.'
'Mmm,' was all Jack said, and Courtney looked at him.
'You haven't put too much money on, have you, Jack?'
'What? Who, me? No, no...not all that much.'
'Mmm. Then why are you looking so worried all of a sudden?'
'I...er...well, the thing is, Courtney. I backed the darned horse each way. I hope you don't think I'm a wimp.'
She laughed. Him? A wimp? Her tower of strength? Her magnificent man? 'Don't be silly, Jack. Big Brutus is forty to one. And this is the Melbourne Cup. Everyone bets each way in the Melbourne Cup.'
'Not everyone,' he mumbled.
'What? What are you talking about?'
'Nothing. It's just that Agnes and Bill asked me to put a bet on for them both. And they didn't want it each way.'
'Yes, but they only bet small, whilst you, Jack, are a serious gambler.'
'Me?' He looked surprised.
'Yes, you. Only a serious gambler would have married someone like me.'
His eyes softened on her and Courtney smiled. She loved it when he looked at her like that. She loved everything about Jack. He was a wonderfully kind and big-spirited man and she couldn't wait till their baby was born. She rather hoped they'd have a son, but she wasn't stressing over it. A daughter would be just as welcome. Jack continued to insist he didn't mind either way, but she suspected he might like a little boy first.