by Vi Carter
He takes a step backwards. “Goodnight, Ava,” he tells me, and I’m struggling with admiring him for leaving it at that and for cursing him for not kissing me.
“Goodnight, Connor,” I tell him as I duck in the door. I smile as I take the steps two at a time. But it dissolves as Brian leans against my door.
CHAPTER SEVEN
CONNOR
I arrive back at Whitewood house near one in the morning. Voices from the main foyer have me pausing.
“She was still alive.” It’s Finn’s voice, and it’s the strain in his voice that has me pushing the door open. The whole family is there.
Darragh and Finn sit on the couch closest to the door, the arch allowing me to see more of Finn than Darragh, while Shane stands near an unlit fireplace. Liam and their father sit on two Queen Ann chairs.
Shane glances at me now with raised eyebrows. “Where’s your phone?” Shit, I had turned it on silent when I was with Ava. “I was on a job,” I say as I take it out of my pocket and light up the screen to see seven missed calls.
“What’s happened?” I ask, and Finn looks from me to Shane. He looks worried.
“Nothing, we just all need to stay calm and not get so excited.” Liam speaks directly to where Finn and Darragh are sitting, and I sit down on the couch opposite the fireplace.
“Excited about what?” I ask Liam directly. His suit jacket is opened. He sits nearly half off the Queen, his waist coat is buttoned, and everything sits perfectly on him.
“There seems to be a woman missing in the nearby area.” His slow words are annoying me, and I’m glad when Finn speaks.
“It’s Siobhan’s auntie. She’s missing.” I can see the strain of Finn’s face. He scratches his eyebrow, his gaze flickers to Darragh, who’s looking at his hand. His subdued stare tells me something isn’t right here. Darragh is always alert and loud, but now he looks unsettled.
“We should tell Connor,” Shane says, looking at their Father who is observing me. I keep his stare. He glances away as Shane calls him. “Father, Connor is family.”
I snort a humorless laugh. I wasn’t ever sure if all my half-brothers could see the distaste that he held for me. This is the first time anyone has ever spoken out for me, and I’m shocked that it’s Shane. If I had placed a bet, it would have been on Finn.
“Darragh was attacked and defended himself, in the process the woman died.” I don’t believe a word Liam says. He’s really painting a sweet picture, but Darragh has always been his favorite brother. I know he is full of shit as Finn snorts.
“The woman was alive. He broke her fucking neck.” Finn’s anger surprises me. My gaze flicks to Darragh who still stares at his hands, not defending himself.
“So the missing woman is dead, and what, the guards have been asking around?” I ask Liam as Michael has decided that the empty fireplace holds his attention better than me.
“They’ve been here asking questions, but there’s nothing for anyone to worry about. We all know where we were the night it happened. Isn’t that right Darragh.” Shane’s words rise, and Darragh’s head snaps up he’s nodding, while his knee jerks.
“I want a word with Darragh. The rest of you leave.” The King speaks, so everyone leaves one by one, I make sure I’m the last, and he stares at me with all the hate in the world. I get up and leave slowly. Not sure what my point is, maybe to let him know he’s not my king.
“You want a drink.”
I smirk at Finn. “Yeah, it would be a start,” I tell him. The tension in this house is strangling me.
We go to the bar, and I sit as Finn goes behind the counter and gets a bottle of whiskey and two glasses.
“So, you want to tell me in English what’s going on?” I ask, and he’s shaking his head.
“It’s a mess.” Finn sits down and pours out two glasses of whiskey. We lightly touch our glasses and take a deep drink before Finn tells me exactly what happened, and yeah, that does sound like a mess.
“I want you to meet Siobhan this weekend.” Finn looks nervous, and it makes me smile. “Yeah, I’d like that.” I squeeze his arm, and he nods. Right now, I know when I leave the next time, I’m not coming back. But leaving him doesn’t feel right. I’m glad when Shane asks Finn to give us a moment. It stops the guilt that is swirling around me.
Shane takes the seat Finn vacates. I pour myself out another drink. Shane declines when I tilt the bottle towards the empty glass Finn left behind. I wonder has he declined because it’s Finn’s glass, or is it that he just doesn’t want a drink.
“So what did she see?” Shane questions. He doesn’t even blink as he waits for me to respond. I take a deep drink before answering.
“Nothing.” Shane’s shaking his head cutting me off from finishing.
“She’s lying. I know she saw me.” His words are low. He isn’t looking at me now, his eyes focused over my shoulder like he’s remembering.
“Well if she did, she isn’t saying,” I answer while refilling my glass. I have no idea what’s going through his head, and that worries me.
“But she will eventually.” Shane rises ready to stand, and I can’t let him go. I can’t leave Ava in his hands.
“You’re wrong.” Both eyebrow’s raise, and he sits back down.
“The Gardai arrived into the pub she was working in, and she wouldn’t give them any information. They showed a picture of the guy, and she said she never saw him.”
“I know she saw me.” He’s not convinced that she won’t say. Yet he’s convinced that she saw him.
“Why didn’t you have her taken care of straight away?” Saying it out loud feels wrong. Like a betrayal to Ava, but I need to know what is driving Shane to make a certain decision.
“I couldn’t. Hurting her isn’t an option. Until it’s an option.” Clear as fucking glass. I let out an irritated breath, and a slow grin grows on Shanes face.
“Don’t tell me you care for her.” He laughs, and I release the glass in my hand before I smash it.
“I just don’t understand what the big secret is.” I get up even as my body wants me to sit here and find out what Shane is up to. “But yeah, she’s your problem now.” I add, but stop at the door as he speaks.
“Brian is a big client of ours. He’s asked for her not to be touched. So unless he says we can, or I risk going to prison, she will be left alone for now. But I want you to still keep an eye on her.” I glance at Shane from over my shoulder, his words giving me mixed emotions. Now I want to know why the hell she is under his protection, and what happens the moment that protection is lifted.
AVA
It doesn’t seem to matter how much makeup I dab on my cheek, the lump and bruising is still visible. I close my eyes not wanting to look at the girl in the mirror. How did it come to this? How did I end up being hit by a man? If I ever heard of someone being hit by a man, I honestly couldn’t understand how it happened the second time. I would be out of there and have him in court. Yet, here I was covering up the marks that Brian left on me again.
He was angrier this time after seeing me with Connor, and I knew he was going to hurt me. Tears fall silently now down my face. I’m disgusted with myself. To allow this to happen. Anger has me looking back at myself. I want to hurt him. Who was I kidding?
My phone bleeps. I forgot I was holding it. I’ve rung the Gardai station several times only to hang up. No one will listen.
I think of Connor and his admission of being a fighter. I smile as I picture him kicking the shit out of Brian. But he doesn’t even know me, so Connor would have no real reason to fight him. Unless I pay him. But I have no money.
I was thinking crazy here. I check my messages to see Connor has sent me one.
“I had a lovely time. Hope we can meet again soon.” My eyes blur with unshed tears at his words.
“Are you free?” I type out and then erase the message. I don’t know what I wanted: him here, him not here. For him to see me like this, or not to see me like this.
�
�I could do with some company. Only if you’re free.” I hit send before I change my mind. My eyes burn again as I realize how lonely I feel. I want my nan so bad, but I don’t want to take this to her door. I needed to handle this. I return to the mirror only to see the small line has opened again, and blood has started to seep out. Wiping off the makeup hurts like hell, as I dab at the blood. The cut isn’t deep. Brian wears rings. It’s what must have cut me.
I’m back to looking at myself in the mirror, wondering how the hell I got here. Not just with Brian, but being homeless, in a shitty job and just with nothing to look forward to.
My phone ringing has me jumping, and my heart pounds. But I answer it.
“Are you okay?” Connor’s voice has me choking down the tears.
“Are you driving while on the phone?” I ask instead, and his short laugh has me smiling, but I hiss in pain.
“No, it’s hands free. Are you okay?” I could almost picture him now frowning.
“Yeah. It’s nothing. I hope I didn’t disturb you.”
“No. I will be there in a few minutes.” My stomach jumps at that. Now I’m questioning what I am doing.
“Okay, see you then.” I hang up and return to the mirror, not sure if I should try to cover it up, but touching it has it bleeding again. I let my hair fall down my back, pulling it around my face. It shadows the mark, but he will see it and a part of me wants him to. A huge part.
The door ringing has me questioning what I’m wearing. I showered after Brian had left and put on grey tracksuit bottoms and a green tank top. I could have tidied up a bit more.
Opening the door, my heart rate spikes as Connor stands there. It’s so odd to see him at my place.
“Come in.” I step out of his way, but he doesn’t move, and his stance is almost unnatural. Like someone has hit pause. I notice his fist clench.
“Who did this?” he asks, his eyes flickering from my face to my eyes.
“Will you come in?” I wasn’t going to discuss this in a hallway. You never knew who was listening. A curt nod and he enters.
I sit on the couch and am surprised when he sits beside me and removes his black jacket. A plain clean grey t-shirt fits him snuggly. He doesn’t ask any questions, and I try not to flinch when his fingers gently examine my face.
“It’s not broken, and the cut’s not deep. Where’s your freezer?” he asks, getting up, and I point to it. My throat burns. I don’t want to cry, so I sit and try to push the emotions that are clawing up my throat back down. Connor sits back down and puts a frozen bag of peas to the bruise, once again with such gentleness that I’m surprised.
“You want to tell me what happened?” Connor asks, but now I can’t meet his eye.
“Just an ex,” I say trying to stop the tremble that enters my hand. It’s like the shock is wearing off again. This isn’t happening to someone else. It’s happening to me.
Connor’s silence has me peeking up at him. His clenched jaw and unblinking eyes are unsettling.
“His name.” And there it is, my chance, but I can see the violence in Connor’s eyes, and I know this fight would leave him worse off. You didn’t hit Brian and get away with it.
“I don’t want to, Connor.”
He removes the peas from my face and takes a look. “The swelling is going down,” he tells me, and once again I find myself staring at my hands.
“He’s hit me before.” I focus on my nails. “The first time was such a shock. I loved him.” Now I gather my courage and stare up at Connor. His stillness is like when I opened the door to him. I want to check that he’s breathing. He blinks.
“I’m not one of those girls who stays when someone hits them.” I hold my head up as I speak. I wasn’t a Mary fucking Sue.
“I walked away.” My anger comes out in falling tears. “I left. I moved.” I close my eyes to stop the onslaught of not just anger but pain now.
Heat scorches my cheeks and neck. He must think I’m crazy. Dragging him here, crying about my problems. I want to apologize before he runs out the door.
“My stepfather hit my mother.” My eyes snap to his. He lifts the peas again, checks my face before turning them and placing them back on my face.
“My mother was such a kind and gentle woman. He was an animal to put his hands on her.” The tightness around his eyes has him glaring over my shoulder.
“I didn’t know at the time. I would have killed him.” Connor is looking at me again, and there is something in his voice that makes me believe he would have killed his stepfather.
“Did your mother get away?” I ask, but I can see that distant look in his eyes. “No.” His one word is said in a monotone, and it squeezes my heart.
“I’m so sorry, Connor.” I touch his free hand, and he removes the bag of peas from my face, while staring down at my hand. I squeeze his large fingers, and his brown eyes snap up to mine.
“I just wish she had told me. I would have protected her.” His brows furrow, and he stands, removing his hand from mine. He’s a big guy when he stands, so I don’t try to approach him again. There is a darkness in Connor that I want to shine a light on, but also don’t.
The noise of him putting the peas back in freezer has me relaxing. I thought he might be leaving, and I don’t want him to go.
“You need to ring the guards.” Connor sits back down while throwing his arm along the back of the couch. I let my hair fall more around my face.
“I can’t,” I tell him, and the tightness around his eyes has me explaining.
“I went before to complain, and they wouldn’t listen to me. Brian has some guards paid off.”
“Brian.” He repeats his name with flared nostrils. “The blond haired guy.”
I’m taking his hand again, and he holds his hand still. He doesn’t wrap his fingers around mine, but he doesn’t pull his hand away either. “He’s really dangerous, Connor.”
“So am I.” Connor might be a fighter, but he was a good guy. Brian came from bad stuff, parents who were into drugs. I suppose I saw a lost boy in him when I first met him. But he was rotten to core, just like them. But Connor had no idea, and I wasn’t getting him caught up in the madness of the world that I found myself in.
“Not like him, Connor. Please just leave it,” I tell him, and he stares at me without blinking and it’s unsettling, but also sets my stomach erupting with butterflies.
“Move back with your nan. It will be safer.” I’m shaking my head again, hating it. I’m still holding his hand, but he isn’t holding mine.
“I left to protect her, Connor. She raised me, and I’ve lived with her my whole life, but when I discovered who Brian really was. I left to protect her.” I release his hand and stand now. Thinking of him hurting her is sending my heart pounding. I didn’t know what to do. My throat burns again. Leaving her alone wasn’t an option anymore.
“Where’s your parents?” I don’t look at Connor as he speaks from the couch. But his voice is controlled. I can feel the tremble enter my bottom lip.
“They live a few towns over with the rest of their kids.” A stray tear falls, and I wipe it away quickly. It still hurts, no matter how many times I say it. They left me behind, just a few months old, to travel, and somehow along the way, they forget to come back for me. Well it wasn’t that simple. I was settled happier with Nan, so they left me with her. They stopped visiting after I was five, so Nan told me. I don’t remember them.
Large hands rest on my shoulders, and I close my eyes at the contact. His hands are so warm on my bare skin, and I fight off the shiver which moves down my arms.
I want to turn, but I don’t. “I’m sorry for dragging you into my drama.” I swallow my emotions and clear my throat before turning around. His hands slip from my shoulders, and he towers over me. Lines appear on his forehead as his eyes search my face.
“We have a lot in common,” he says. It’s whispered, and I’m not sure if he intended to say it out loud.
“Your family left you behind too?”
I ask.
“Pretty much, yeah.” He doesn’t sound pained, and I can’t look away from him. I want to know more.
When his tongue flicks out and he wets his lips, I bite my own. His eyes snap to my lips, and he exhales quickly. Large hands slowly return to my shoulders, and I step into him, brushing my lips against him. I’m away from him, the burn of my cheek after rubbing off his beard has me hissing.
“You okay?” he asks while moving back in. This time, he places his lips gently on mine, tilting his head to my unmarked cheek. His kiss is nice; it’s warm. Large hands leave my shoulders and find my waist. I’m airborne. My legs wrap around his waist, and I feel all of him against me. His tongue enters my mouth, and I gasp, pulling him closer to me. My breasts brush against my top, and wetness pools in-between my legs.
Vibrations attack my hip, and it’s not until Connor pulls away and the vibrations continue that I realize it’s coming from his pocket. He slowly lets me down with an apologetic shrug before taking his phone out of his pocket. I watch him as he checks the screen to see who’s calling. Lines appear on his forehead as he stares at the screen. He answers it.
“I’m kind of….” He steps away from me and nods. “Okay, give me twenty minutes.” He finishes the call.
“A friend’s house was broken into.” I fix my top and try to act as composed as he seems.
“Oh my God. Is he okay?”
“I’m not sure,” he answers honestly and stuffs the phone into his pocket. Rubbing his forehead with one finger, he fixes me with another apologetic shrug.
“Why don’t you come with me?”
“No, I won’t. I need an early night.” He nods at my answer while fishing out his keys.
“When I leave, don’t answer the door to anyone,” he tells me.
“I won’t.” I never do. Brian had been waiting for me. I wrap my arms around my waist.
“I feel bad leaving you.” I can see the conflict in how tense his shoulders are. He’s hunched forward towards me. I unwrap my arms.