by Vi Carter
I clean up and don’t return to packing. After sticking a plaster on my finger and grabbing my jacket and bag, I make my way to the Gardai station.
A Bangharda is on the counter. They are worse than the men. The glass that divides stays sealed as she glances up but returns to whatever she’s doing under the desk. So I take a seat. My stomach won’t settle. I withheld information, and now saying it was because Harry wouldn’t allow me to press charges against Brian, it just didn’t seem like an option. My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I take it out as the Bangharda pulls open the window.
“Next,” she barks but I’m the only one here. She gives me a lazy look, and I answer the phone. She can wait.
“Hi.” I’m smiling at Connor’s voice.
“Hi to you, too.” The Bangharda is watching me, and I take my call outside. Telling Connor to give me one second. He holds until the fresh air flitters across my face.
“Sorry, I’m up here at the guards.”
“Is everything okay?” His words are rushed, and I want to ease him immediately.
“Yeah, nothing has happened,” I tell him.
“Good are you there to try to press charges against Brian?” he asks.
I want to say yes, but pressing charges against Brian just doesn’t seem like an option.
“No. It’s about something else. Something I saw.” The line is silent.
“Connor?” I question, thinking he must have gone.
“Yeah, sorry. I’m here. What do you mean something you saw?” I chew my lip now.
“There’s a missing person, and he was in Smyth’s with Brian and another man. I think I should tell them what I saw.”
“Is this the picture that Harry was showing you?” Connor sounds odd.
“Yeah.”
“Ava, I know you think you are doing good, but why didn’t you tell the guards before. You will get in trouble.”
I stop chewing my lip when I taste blood. “I thought of that, but I could say that I just remembered.” Okay, that sounded so lame. I glance back at the door. The Bangharda is out fixing the leaflets.
“I just want it off my conscience,” I admit to Connor.
“I know, but they won’t care. You withheld information. You will be in trouble for obstructing their investigation. Maybe what you saw was nothing. That guy is probably at some wild party.” Connor did have a point, but yet, someone was looking for him, his family. Maybe my information that he was drunk and left with two guys wouldn’t do any good.
“Yeah, you’re right,” I tell Connor, stepping away from the Gardai station and making my way back down the road.
“I just worry about you,” he says, and I pause as the traffic moves past me. Why do his words hold guilt?
“Seriously, don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself.”
A short relieved laugh from Connor has me smiling.
“Will I be seeing you later?” I ask, and he pauses.
“I’m not sure. We have a bit of a family situation at the moment, but I’ll try my best.”
I’m slightly disappointed, but I don’t say that.
“Okay.”
“I’ll contact you later.” I’m nodding into the phone.
“Yeah, that’s cool.”
“Where are you now?” he asks, and I glance around me.
“I’m at my door. Why?” I ask smiling, expecting him to appear.
“Just wanted to make sure you got home safe.”
He was so sweet. I turn the key in the door. “I’m inside now,” I tell him, and he seems content when he says goodbye.
I’ve got no one waiting for me when I get upstairs. Ringing Nan for the third time has alarm bells going off in my head. Even when Harry was here, she was all I could think about. Her not answering wasn’t normal, but I had work in ten minutes. Going to the Gardaí station and having Harry here burnt through my packing time. I still had so much to do.
I’m on the early shift again, so it’s quiet.
“Just going to do the lodgements.” Patrick appears out of the back.
“No problem,” I tell him, and he leaves. The bank is only a few doors down, so he’s never long. I take out my phone and ring my nan again. My stomach tightens when she doesn’t pick up.
“A pint when you’re ready.” I stuff my phone in my pocket and give Paul a smile.
“Coming right up,” I tell him. Placing the pint in front of him, I can see the question in his eyes before he asks me.
“Are you alright?” His eyes linger on my face. I had completely forgotten about it.
“Oh, this?” I point at my face. “-Hit myself with a lamp while packing,” I tell him, and he grins.
“Jesus, you gave yourself some smack.”
I take the twenty. “I know.”
“You need to be a bit more careful.” My hand stills over the till, but I quickly remember myself and get Paul his change. I don’t look at Brian as he leans across the bar. But he’s there, and I hate him for how he is making me feel.
“What the hell do you want?” I can’t take much more of him. His smile falls, and my voice carries across the bar. There seems to be a stillness in the bar. His blue eyes turn cold.
“How’s your nan?”
The question has me locking my knees together, and I’m shaking my head. “No.”
“What’s wrong, Ava?” The way Brian asks has me moving towards the end of the bar. Patrick arrives in the door. His eyes flicker from Brian to me.
“Patrick, can I leave early today?” I ask quickly, already grabbing my bag and jacket.
“Yeah of course. Is everything okay?” His worry is genuine.
“She’s fine. I’ve got it,” Brian says, reaching his arm towards me as I come from around the bar. But I’m not pretending.
“Don’t touch me. What did you do to her?” I’m shouting now, and he steps in closer.
“Shut the fuck up, Ava.” I swallow the tears that threaten to spill.
“You promised me you wouldn’t touch her.” My low words are accompanied by tears. Brian is toe to toe with me now, his breath on my bruised cheek.
“You promised me a second chance.” If I had the courage, I would strike him. But I don’t. I’m moving around him and out the door.
“Ava.” My name bounces off the cobbled stone pavement, and I don’t look back, instead I ring Connor, but it goes to voicemail.
“Ava.” Brian’s voice is more distant now when I wave down a cab and give him directions to my nan’s house.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CONNOR
“What’s taking so long.” I can’t seem to keep Finn still. He’s pacing the library as we wait for word on Darragh.
“They can hold him for 48 hours,” I remind Finn. “Liam has someone working on it. Trust me, when the 48 hours are up, he will be home.”
He rubs his face. “What do I say to Siobhan when she asks?”
I had no clue. “Play dumb,” I offer lamely. I wouldn’t want to be in his situation.
Shane arrives into the room, his eyes narrowing on Finn, and it’s pissing me off how everyone is blaming Finn for Darragh’s actions.
“Any word?” I ask Shane, and his head snaps to me. He walks deeper into the room.
“He’s staying quiet. The lawyer is with him now. We hope to have him out in a few hours.”
“Where were you that night?” he asks Finn who looks up at him while scratching his eyebrow.
“With you. I helped you.”
“You’re a moron. If the guards ask, where were you?”
“Shane why don’t you just calm down,” I tell him, and Finn rises.
“It’s fine, Connor. I was with Siobhan, and then I came and picked up Darragh from a party.”
Shane nods. “Try to remember that.”
“Try not to be such a dick,” I tell him as he leaves. He glares at me quickly before turning the corner. Finn needed to start standing up to Shane and Liam. They treated him like they always did, I suppose. Th
eir baby brother who they could boss around. I needed to return a call to Ava. That was another problem. Her being at the Gardai station today was too close for comfort.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” I tell Finn who is sitting back down. He just nods.
“Ava, sorry I missed your call.” She answers on the first ring.
“I can’t talk right now,” she sounds upset, and all I can think of is that she changed her mind and is now making a statement against Shane.
“Where are you?” I ask boring a hole into the wall.
“At the hospital, I’m okay. It’s my nan.”
“What hospital?”
“Navan hospital. But she’s going to be fine. Can I give you a call later?” she asks, and I hate her being alone up there, knowing that she has no family.
“Sure. Chat soon,” I tell her, and the call ends. I exhale a breath.
“You okay if I tip out for a while?” I ask Finn just sticking my head in the door. There wasn’t much we could do now, only wait for news.
“Yeah, I think I need to get out too.” I nod. He’s right to get out. Sitting here will drive him mad.
***
I go to reception to ask where Ava’s nan is, but I don’t know her name. Ava’s last name is Smith, but I wasn’t sure if it was her mother’s or father’s, mother.
I’m in the hospital at reception. I send to her phone and sit down on one of the plastic chairs that are designed to break your back.
While waiting, I send a text to Neill. Was the message delivered?
“Connor, you didn’t have to come.” I glance up into the emerald green eyes that are filled with worry. She looks pale. I’m rising, not sure what to do. Stuffing my phone in my pocket, I leave my hands in them too.
“I wanted to make sure you’re okay?”
She smiles. “Let’s get a coffee.”
“Coffee sounds good. That would make this our third date.” Her smile grows, and I’m smiling too.
The coffee shop is tiny. Ten tables fill the space, all empty. Ava orders two coffees and tells me to grab a table. I would prefer to be the one getting the coffees, but I think she needs to do something right now.
She lets out a shaky breath, and the tremble in her hands shakes our mugs. When she sets them on the table, I cover her hand with mine, making her look at me.
“No matter what, it’s going to be okay,” I tell her, and her eyes shine with unshed tears as she sits down.
“It’s my fault.” She swallows and stares at the ceiling, as if the emotion will somehow slide back down her throat.
“It’s okay, Ava.” I squeeze her hand making her look at me. Tears stream down her face.
“I told Brian I would give him a second chance, just to keep him happy. But he knew I was lying. He saw me with you.” She swallows again, and I’m holding my breath. I’m going to fucking kill him.
“He hurt her. She’s the sweetest woman ever, and he hurt her.” Her words turn angry. Her tears continue to roll, and I move my chair so I can pull her chair close to mine. She’s in my arms, spilling her sorrow on my top, and each tear that falls, I promise I will take that from Brian.
Her sobs subside, and she leans out. “Sorry, I’m a mess. You shouldn’t have come.”
I hand her a white napkin that sits on the table. “I want to be here,” I tell her, and she takes it and wipes her face. She’s beautiful. Her eyes still glisten, but the determination on her face tells me she won’t cry anymore.
“Any chance I get to meet this famous woman?”
When I ask, she barks a short laugh while wiping under her eyes.
“I’ve told her about you. But be warned, she’s fierce.”
I’m smiling now. “I’m sure I can handle her,” I tell Ava as I pour milk and one sugar into both our coffees. She’s pretty shaken up. Each time she drinks from her coffee, her hands rattle, and something in me keeps stirring and getting larger. I hurt people just to hurt them, but this feels different. I want to hurt Brian so he can never hurt Ava again.
“I hope I didn’t pull you away from anything.”
“I was just hanging out with my brother,” I tell the half-truth.
“You’ve a brother?” She seems surprised, but I’ve never spoken of them. I’m not meant to get close. I’m here for a job.
“I’ve five half-brothers and a step-sister,” I tell her and she nearly chokes on her coffee making me smile.
“Wow, that’s like a huge family. Do you get on with them all?”
Now I drink my coffee before answering. “I do with three of them. Finn and Darragh are twins, but we’ve always been close, and my other brother Bernard I get on with,” I answer. My stomach twists at the thoughts of Bernard. I was hoping the next time I rang Dad, he would tell me that Bernard was home.
“And the rest?” This really seems to have taken her mind off her nan, but now I feel like I’m dancing around the truth, and it’s getting dangerous. But their names won’t do any harm.
“Shane and Liam are the older two, so I don’t exactly see eye to eye with them.”
“And your step-sister?”
“She’s great. Maybe you could meet her someday.” The moment the words are out of my mouth, the more unlikely that actual scenario seems. Ava meeting Una would be mean meeting Shane.
“Will we go in?” I ask her. This conversation has veered off onto a path I don’t want to go down.
The little old lady in the bed is exactly what I had pictured. Ava did her justice. I feel scruffy now as I rub my jaw.
“Nan, this is Connor,” Ava sounds nervous, and I try not to lean in too close to Ava’s nan. I don’t want to scare her after her being attacked. A large white bandage is wrapped around her head that is the only visible sign that she was hurt.
“Lovely to meet you,” I tell her, reaching out my hand, and she takes it. Her grip is firm and warm.
“What’s your intentions with my granddaughter?” I’m nodding and trying not to grin at the ferocity in her words and the hold she has on me.
“Nan, please,” Ava says while sitting down on the side of the bed.
“I like your granddaughter,” I tell her honestly, and she nods. Blue beady eyes pierce me as she continues to grip my hand.
“Don’t think you can hang your hat and leave it there.”
“Oh my God, Nan.” Ava sounds mortified, and I want to smile. I’m not sure what that statement means, but Ava’s humiliation is telling me it’s sexual.
“I never leave my hat behind.” Both her eyebrows rise up to her hairline, and she finally releases my hand.
“So, where are you from?” I take a moment to glance at Ava whose face is stark red, and I smile.
“Kingscourt area.”
“I’ve relations buried down there. Do you know John McCluskey’s?”
“I can’t say I do,” I answer.
Ava’s nan asked me lots of questions, much to Ava’s embarrassment, but I soon see that her nan is doing it because she knows Ava’s embarrassed. She’s enjoying it. Ava’s right. Her nan is fierce, but I love her strength. Visiting time is almost up when she asks Ava to give us a moment.
“Not a hope,” Ava’s answer is immediate.
“It’s only a minute,” I tell Ava, and her eyes widen.
“Why are you encouraging her?” she asks, but she is rising.
“Fine, whatever she says is on you.” I’m smiling as she leaves, but not before planting a kiss on her grandmother’s cheek.
“She’s a good kid, had a hard life,” Nan speaks while staring after Ava. It’s like the walls fall down, and the pain that I hadn’t noticed is evident now on her face. The paleness of her skin has me leaning in.
“Shall I get a nurse?”
“No. She can’t be left alone. Brian, her previous boyfriend, hit her, and he will do it again.” Her fear for Ava is clouding her eyes.
“I won’t leave her alone.” I make the promise before she asks, and her body seems to sink deeper into the pillow
s.
“She has no one in this world. Only me.” She speaks to the ceiling before fixing me with a hard gaze.
“You will have to mind her until I get out.”
“I will,” I tell her, and she nods.
“Now, here she comes. Just laugh.”
And I do. Some of my laughter is real.
“What’s so funny?” Ava folds her arms gently across her chest, but her emerald eyes sparkle.
“Mind your business,” Nan tells her. “Now go on go home and rest child.” She reaches out an arm to Ava, and Ava steps into her embrace. I put the stool back against the wall and stand, not sure if I should go.
“Don’t you renege on your promise,” she warns me.
“Oh my God, Nan! What did you make him promise?” Ava sounds seriously worried.
“She’s joking,” I tell Ava, and she relaxes. Before we leave, I lean in and place a soft kiss on Ava’s nan’s cheek. “I’ll take care of her,” I whisper before leaning out, and her eyes fog up.
“Go on,” she barks while looking away, not wanting us to see her cry. Ava doesn’t want to leave, but when I entwine our fingers, she leaves with me.
She doesn’t speak as we make our way out in the parking lot. “I can’t go home.” Her voice is low, and she looks at me from under her lashes. I would have her stay with me, only the whole Shane thing would be a mess.
“Yeah, I know. I have a friend who is looking for a tenant for his apartment. You could stay there tonight, see if you like the place. If you do, it’s yours.” Her eyes widen.
“Seriously?” she asks, and I grin.
“Yeah. Just let me ring him.”
She tugs my hand, stopping me from walking any further. When I look down at her, I don’t expect her to be so close.
“Thank you.” She steps into me and rises on her tippy toes. Gently, she plants a soft warm kiss on my lips. The kiss doesn’t last long enough.
“You’re welcome.” I’m staring into emerald eyes that are becoming familiar, and that is dangerous.
***
Russell stays true to his word. A set of keys are left with the security when we check into Headfort Demesne. Ava hasn’t said anything since we left her apartment. I brought her back so she could pack some clothes.