“Pretty fucking cool, I guess.” We hugged again, and I hopped into the back of the van. “Gracie, I’m still here for you whenever you need me.” She nodded and then walked back to where Calon stood. They spoke for just a moment then shared a long, very special hug.
I looked around at the place I considered more of a home than the house I grew up in. I knew Calon, Spider, Manny, Bones, and I were about to embark on quite the adventure, but the Knoxville campus would remain my favorite place on the planet, because it had given me gifts I didn’t know I deserved. Gracie and Calon.
Sirens screamed and lights flashed. A rush of adrenaline seized my chest and my head spun to the street that ran between my dorm and the west end of campus.
“Get in!” Calon yelled and reached for Gracie’s hand. She jumped in and we barely had the door shut when Spider took off. We followed the squad cars as best we could to see what was going down, although I think we all knew.
“Gracie, call Jake. If this is what I think it is, he needs to be there, too.”
Her hands were shaking so badly she couldn’t punch in the numbers. I called Jake from my phone and held her hands until we got to Sigma Chi.
Fifty-six
Jake
I had no idea what time it was, but I’d been running my own marathon since walking Gracie to Becki’s dining hall after we got back from the police station. I knew it was impossible to outrun what Noah had done to Gracie, but I was giving it my best effort. I stopped when my phone buzzed, and also because I could barely breathe.
“Hey, Becki. What’s up?” I bent over and pressed my free hand into my thigh in an attempt to stretch out my hamstrings.
“Jake! Meet us at Sigma Chi. Now!” Becki’s voice was shaking, and she hung up.
Just then, four squad cars sped past me. I was only two blocks from the fraternity house, so I took off.
I stood against the classroom building across the street and caught my breath while trying to blend in. The cops must’ve hit some traffic because they were just pulling in. I saw Calon’s van pull up to the sidewalk a block away. I quickly called Gracie.
“Jake.” She was almost as breathless as I was.
“Baby girl. Tell Calon to leave the van and you guys just walk this way. I’m at the entrance to the Hammond Building.”
“Okay.”
I watched Detective Peterson step out of one of the squad cars, and he and the other policemen huddled up. They were so focused on their plan, I was sure we could watch the whole thing go down. I needed this, but Gracie needed it more.
Gracie ran up to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. I could feel her trembling. I took her face in my hands and tried to quiet her nerves.
“Gracie, baby. Listen. Shhh.” I rubbed her cheeks with the pads of my thumbs and pressed my lips to her forehead. “This is it, baby girl. This ends it. He can’t hurt anyone ever again.”
“I know.”
“You did this. You’re closing that chapter of your life. Right here. Right now. And you have a front row seat to watch the whole fuckin’ thing play out.”
“Yeah.” She leaned in to my chest. Becki gave us both a big bear hug.
“Thanks for getting her here, man.” I shook Calon’s hand.
“Glad to help.” He nodded and put his arm around Becki.
“This is intense. And you all might have to hold me back if I actually see that dickless piece of shit.” Becki was punching the palm of her other hand.
Calon pulled Becki back against him. “Easy, tiger.”
“Wait! What if Noah’s not there?” Becki was always the devil’s advocate.
“He’s in there.” Gracie’s voice was hushed, and she shifted her weight back and forth from one foot to the other. “It’s alumni weekend, and they do a huge chapter meeting in the ritual room for most of the day. Noah had to come to campus for it last summer. I remember because it was over the weekend and I was mad that he refused to bring me.”
There was banging and yelling coming from inside the house. We all froze and stared across the street. The sky was blue, the birds were chirping and people were milling all around. No one but us and the brothers in the basement knew the hell that was about to break loose.
The front door flew open so violently, it hit the stone exterior with a loud crack. The first cop came out with a short, stocky guy with his hands restrained behind his back.
“Travis.” Gracie’s voice was barely a whisper. It was then I realized, seeing the guys who’d violated her while she was passed out, could potentially be incredibly painful for her. I stepped behind her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. She held onto my wrists and squeezed at the same time I leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.
“You got this. This is closure.”
“I know, Jake. You couldn’t pry me away from this spot if you wanted to. I need to do this. For me.”
I squeezed her a little tighter, “I’m so very proud of you. So very proud.”
Just then, there was more yelling, and two cops had to wrestle a tall, lanky guy through the front door. He resisted and yelled “Fuck you!” in the one cop’s face. There was a quick glance between officers, then they took him down hard.
“Falco.” Gracie’s voice broke, and I knew she was crying. She knew these guys by name. They had all used her. I clenched my fists and tried to calm my breathing.
Two cops came out next, each ushering another asshole toward the cars in the cul-de-sac part of the driveway.
“Jeremy and Hank. They’re twins.” She spoke through clenched teeth.
Becki gasped. “Drive-thru Hank. Wait! Those other three are the ones that we ran into on campus that day. The ones I almost shredded.” Becki hopped up and down like a boxer waiting for her next match. Calon shook his head and smiled at her, but I saw his jaw flex. He appeared as ready as I was to storm over there and kick some ass.
“Yeah, that’s them.” Gracie nodded, but didn’t take her eyes off the front door. I knew who she was waiting for. She squeezed my wrists tighter. Her chest slowly expanded with each deep breath. She was ready.
As if in slow motion, a cocky, disheveled Noah tried to wrestle himself free of the policeman’s grip. I could feel Gracie’s shoulders bouncing. She turned into me and she poured out years of pain he’d caused.
“Shhh, it’s almost over, Gracie.”
She nodded and sniffled.
I thought back to when Gracie and I would argue about Noah still being a part of her. I used to be so jealous of that fact, and I couldn’t understand why she hung on to the memory of someone who’d hurt her so badly. It seemed so detrimental to her stability. But, as we watched the officers help each guy duck his head and slide into a squad car, I was glad she did. Her resilience and willingness to get help with making peace with those memories is what got us to where we were at that moment.
Closure.
The sun glared off the cars’ windshields as they made their way to the street. They sat in single-file in the driveway, and applause erupted from a crowd I hadn’t even realized was there. Apparently, news of the university’s announcement spread quickly. I could see Detective Peterson through the windshield of the first car. He saw Gracie and saluted. I looked down to see her reaction just as she mouthed, “Thank you.” He said something to the officer driving, who then spoke into the mic on his shoulder. Simultaneously, all four sets of blue and red lights flashed on, and the cars pulled out, one-by-one, with no sirens.
They drove so slowly past the crowd, I wondered if it was a means to be a short celebratory parade for the people standing watch. Goosebumps rose across my entire body. It was the single most cathartic moment of my life. They wouldn’t get away with what they’d done any longer. It was over.
Travis, Jeremy, Falco, and Hank kept their heads down so no one could see their faces. Cowards. The car that held the last of the five perpetrators pulled up to the edge of the road and stopped. The cop got out and lifted two wooden barricades from his trunk and placed them
behind his car, across the driveway. He pulled out onto the street just as slowly as the rest had. Noah looked right at Gracie for what had to be a full two seconds then hung his head. All four cars traveled slowly down the street away from us. The sidewalks were lined with people shaking their fists and jeering at each car as it drove by.
Gracie turned and took my face in her hands. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears, and her face dripped of the ones that had fallen. “It’s over, Jake. It’s finally over.”
She hugged Calon and Becki and we waved as Spider carted them away toward their own next chapter.
We walked toward town, swinging our clasped hands between us, but not saying a word. It was a lot to digest all at once. We had to wait for the light to cross at the corner.
Gracie turned to me. “Jake?”
“Yeah?” I couldn’t read the look on her face. It was a cross between pensive and joyful.
“For a split second, I entertained the concern that you would see me differently knowing what they did to—”
“Grac—”
“Just listen. I said ‘for a split second.’ No sooner had that thought entered my mind than it left. Because, it’s you. You have the most genuine heart I’ve ever known, and you love with all of it. So, I couldn’t assume your love for me would change. And I’ve never known you to be judgmental...toward anyone. So, I couldn’t assume you’d pass judgment on me. And, you’re someone who builds people up when they’ve been knocked down. So, I knew, without a doubt, you’d help me stand. Every rape victim needs someone like you in their life. Because it’s you who is helping me feel like I’m still clean.”
Once again, I took her face in my hands and looked her in the eye. “Nothing could change how beautiful you are to me, Gracie. I love you more every day, and nothing, nothing, could change that.”
Her lips crashed into mine, and we sealed her past with a kiss.
Group Text: Sam, Mav, Ashley, Chelsea, Stacy
Me: It’s over.
Fifty-seven
Gracie
Jake and I stretched out on the lawn of Circle Park. It was the last day of summer semester and my first solo performance was just hours away.
This, time we weren’t under the tree though. We were actually trying to get some sun. Jake was in his navy blue swimming trunks, and I wore my red bikini for the first time. It was hard to lay that close to Jake when we were both so bare and not jump on top of him. Especially when the memory we created on my couch still ran through my mind multiple times a day. His trunks were long, but that happy trail called my name, even with my eyes closed. I reached over and grabbed his hand lying between us. I turned my head toward him and shielded my eyes from the sun to get a peek. We both giggled when what we saw was a mirror image of ourselves.
“Jake, I can’t believe she’s gone.”
Becki and Calon had been gone for six days. She texted me goofy candid pictures of the two of them from every stop they made on their way to LA. I missed them both like crazy but my excitement for what they were about to experience was a little more intense.
“It happened so quickly. Ya know, the two of them.” He closed his eyes and turned his face back to the sun.
“Yeah, but if you think about it, I wouldn’t have expected it to happen any other way for either of them. Their personalities don’t lend themselves to being predictable.”
“True. And I’m sure you were made privy to all the sex they’re having.”
“Nope. So far, they haven’t crossed that line. Just kissing and stuff, and she hasn’t even spilled any of those details.”
“What? How’d that happen?” He chuckled under his breath.
“She actually used one of my own lines on me when she explained why she wasn’t going to give me details.”
“Oh, yeah, what line was that?”
“The day after you and I made love for the first time...” Jake made a humming sound like he was remembering every detail. “...Becki asked me for details, and I told her sharing that moment with her would take something away from it for me.”
“Really? So you didn’t tell her anything about our first time?” His head was turned, and he shaded his eyes with his hand.
I shook my head and smiled.
“Oh, oops.”
“Oops? What oops? Jake.”
“I may or may not have given Sam a few small details about that day.”
“Jake!” I rolled to my side and smacked him on his arm.
“Ow. Sorry.” I shook my head, but smiled at the same time. After all we’d been through since last semester, I wasn’t about to make a big deal about his admission of being a blabbermouth.
“Where do you picture us in five years?” I thought back to the advice our new friend Sarah gave us at the festival. I wondered what stage of our relationship Jake saw when he thought that far into the future. I smiled at his squinting face.
He smiled back. “We playing Buckshot?” Jake closed his eyes and turned his face back up to the sun.
I watched him a little bit longer before I did the same. “No. I just wondered.” I almost said, “never mind” out of guilt for putting him on the spot, but I bit my tongue and just waited for him to answer. Being on the spot wouldn’t kill him.
“Well, I see us getting ready for work together.” He squeezed my hand.
“What am I wearing?” I peeked over at him and saw him smile and shake his head.
“You have on one of my dress shirts, and one of my ties is loosely hanging around your neck. Your hair is up in a bun...oh wait, you just took the hair band out and shook your head around, real slow like.”
“Jake! What the hell kind of job do I have if I wear your clothes to work?”
“Oh, not all my clothes. You just wear my shirts and ties. You don’t wear pants.”
“Jake!”
“Okay, okay. We live in a small apartment, like the upstairs of a duplex. It’s so small, maybe our street address has a ½ in it, like 12 ½ Grant Street. We don’t have a lot of furniture or fancy things, but it’s a cozy little place. Oh, and we have a dog.”
“I want a cat.”
“But our dog hates cats.”
“Jake.”
“All right, our dog is tolerant of cats, so you can have one.”
“Where do we work?”
“We quit our jobs so we could have sex all day.”
“Jacob Andrew Rockwell!”
“Hey, it’s your fault. You don’t wear any pants!”
I growled and slapped him in the happy trail. He grunted and rolled over to his side and propped himself up on one elbow. I scooted closer to him so I was laying in the shadow he cast, looking up into his beautiful face.
“Gracie, I don’t know where we’ll live in five years. Who knows what kind of jobs we’ll have or where we’ll live. All I care about is that we’re together.”
“You think you’ll still like me in five years? You won’t be sick of me?”
“I’ll keep you around as long as your cat doesn’t shit all over our house.”
I gave him a sideways glance and a disapproving smirk. “So, in five years, we’ll be going on twenty-seven. Wow. That’s almost thirty. My mom had me when she was twenty-six.”
“Yeah, I think my mom was around the same age, too. But you know what Sarah said.”
I was surprised he remembered that conversation, but more impressed that he even remembered her name.
“That was good advice. She was sweet.”
“As much as I hope to be a dad someday, I cannot imagine sharing you with anyone.”
“I think that parenting thing is overrated anyway, don’t you? I mean, kids are cute and all, but they don’t sleep, they stink, and they barf...a lot!” I really did want kids, but keeping the playful banter was way more fun at the moment.
“Wow. Tell me how you really feel.” Jake laughed and nuzzled his face into my neck.
“I babysat a lot when I was growing up. I love kids. I want to have kids. But not any tim
e soon. Not even in five years. Besides, I would have to get super fat and have hemorrhoids and cankles. No thanks. On second thought, could we adopt?”
“Aw, but we’d make cute babies. Besides, I think somewhere in the wedding vows, it says I have to love you even with hemorrhoids and cankles.” He grimaced when he said it. My heart skipped a beat.
“Wedding? You want to be married in five years?”
“Gracie, I would marry you tomorrow.”
“Jake.”
“You don’t want to marry me?” He pushed his lip out like a pouting little boy.
“Of course I do, Jake. It just takes my breath away when you say it.”
I curled up into his bare chest. The small triangles of red fabric that held my breasts stuck to the suntan lotion he so liberally applied to his front before we laid down. Jake rubbed my bare back with his soft hands and rested his chin on the top of my head.
“Every time I’ve seen you perform, you’ve grown as an artist. I know this is all new to you, but this is something you should consider pursuing. When I saw you play that expensive Martin at The Garage, I knew there was something inside of you just begging to come out. What you did on stage the other night at Mitchell’s was unbelievable. All the bartenders stopped what they were doing as soon as you let the song take a hold of your heart. When you let your guard down and just be...Gracie, it is indescribable. This opportunity to play at Mitchell’s every week is amazing. Tonight’s your big night! It’s all you, baby girl”
“It’s really a big deal, Jake. It’s not just a couple songs; it’s like the whole night.”
“All rock stars get the jitters.”
“What if I choke?”
“Gracie, Calon is a genius. He has given you everything you need to soar. You’ve got to trust your talent. And trust me as an audience member, the goosebumps that spread through the bar the last time you sang were in the millions.”
“It feels a little easier each time I try it. But I’m going to start playing more of my own stuff, not all cover music. Now, it’s not just performing, it’s creating, too.”
On Solid Ground: Sequel to in Too Deep Page 34