by Robin Hobb
He shoved me violently away from him into the fire. I stumbled through it and was immediately seized by two men on the other side. I looked from one to the other wildly. "It's a mistake!" I cried out. "A terrible mistake!"
"Shackle him," Bolt ordered them hoarsely.
Madge stepped suddenly forward. "You're certain of this man?" she asked him directly.
He met her eyes, captain to captain. "I am. It's the WitBastard."
A look of total disgust crossed Madge's face. "Then take him and welcome to him." She turned on her heel and walked away.
My guards had been watching the conversation between Madge and their captain rather than paying attention to the trembling man between them. I chanced it all, breaking toward the fire as I snapped my arms free of their careless grips. I shouldered a startled Bolt aside and fled like a rabbit. I wove through the camp, past the tinker's wagon, and saw only wide-open country before me. Dawn had grayed the plain to a featureless rumpled blanket. No cover, no destination. I just ran.
I had expected men on foot after me, or men on horses. I hadn't expected a man with a sling. The first rock hit me on the flat of my left shoulder, numbing my arm. I kept running. I thought at first I'd taken an arrow. Then the bolt of lightning hit me.
When I woke up, my wrists were chained. My left shoulder ached horribly, but not as badly as the lump on my head. I managed to wiggle up to a sitting position. No one paid much attention to me. A shackle on each of my ankles was hooked to the length of chain that ran up and through a loop forged onto the chain that shackled my wrists together. A second, much shorter chain between my ankles was not even enough to let me take a full step. If I'd been able to stand.
I said nothing, did nothing. Shackled, I had no chance against six armed men. I didn't want to give them any excuse to brutalize me. Still, it took every bit of my will to sit quietly and consider my situation. The sheer weight of the chain was daunting, as was the chill of the iron biting into my flesh in the cold night air. I sat, head bowed, looking at my feet. Bolt noticed I was awake. He came to stand looking down at me. I kept my eyes on my own feet.
"Say something, damn you!" Bolt ordered me suddenly.
"You've got the wrong man, sir," I said timidly. I knew there would be no convincing him of that, but perhaps I could shake his men's belief.
Bolt laughed. He went and sat back down by the fire. Then he lay back on his elbows. "If I have, it's just too damn bad for you. But I know I don't. Look at me, Bastard. How was it you didn't stay dead?"
I shot him a fearful glance. "I don't know what you mean, sir."
It was the wrong response. He was tigerish in his speed, coming up from his reclining position to fly across the fire at me. I scrabbled to my feet but there was no escaping him. He seized me by my chains, drew me up, and slapped me stingingly. Then, "Look at me," he ordered.
I brought my eyes back to his face.
"How was it you didn't die, Bastard?"
"It wasn't me. You've got the wrong man."
I got the back of his hand the second time.
Chade had once told me that, under torture, it is easier to resist questioning if you focus your mind on what you will say, rather than what you must not. I knew it was stupid and useless to tell Bolt I was not FitzChivalry. He knew I was. But having adopted that course, I stuck to it. The fifth time he hit me, one of his men spoke out behind me.
"With all respect, sir?"
Bolt flashed a furious look at the man. "What is it?"
The man wet his lips. "The captive was to be alive, sir. For the gold to be paid."
Bolt turned his eyes back to me. It was unnerving to see the hunger in him, a craving such as Verity had for the Skill. This man liked to give pain. Liked to kill slowly. It only made him hate me all the more that he could not. "I know that," he said brusquely to the man. I saw his fist coming, but there was no way to avoid it.
When I came awake, it was full morning. There was pain. For a time, that was all I really knew. Pain, bad pain in one shoulder, and down my ribs on the same side. He'd probably kicked me, I decided. I didn't want to move any part of my face. Why, I wondered, is pain always worse when you're cold? I felt curiously detached from my situation. I listened for a time, with no desire at all to open my eyes. The caravan was getting ready to move on. I could hear Master Dell yelling at Tassin, who was crying that it was her money by right, that if he'd only help her get it, he could have his apprentice fee back and full welcome to it. He ordered her to get in the wagon. Instead I heard her footsteps crunching across the dry earth as she hurried over to me. But it was Bolt she spoke to in a whining voice. "I was right. You didn't believe me, but I was right. I found him for you. If it weren't for me, you'd have ridden off after looking right at him. That gold is mine, by right. But I'll give you half and be more than happy. That's better than fair for you, you know it is."
"I'd get in that wagon, were I you," Bolt answered her coldly. "Otherwise, once it leaves and we leave, you're left with nothing but a long walk."
She had the sense not to argue with him, but she muttered dirty names to herself all the way back to the wagon. I heard Dell tell her she was nothing but trouble and he'd be well rid of her at Blue Lake.
"Get him on his feet, Joff," Bolt ordered someone.
They dashed water on me, and I got one eye open. I watched a guard pick up the slack of my chain and jerk on it. That woke a host of lesser pains. "Get up!" she ordered me. I managed to nod. One of my teeth was loose. I could only see out of one eye. I started to lift my hands to my face to see how bad it was, but a tug on my chain prevented me. "Does he ride or walk?" the one holding my chain asked Bolt as I staggered upright.
"I'd love to drag him, but it would slow us down too much. He rides. You double with Arno and put him on your horse. Tie him in the saddle and keep a tight grip on your horse's lead. He's playing dumb now, but he's mean and he's tricky. I don't know if he can do all the Wit things they say he can, but I don't want to find out. So keep a good grip on that lead rope. Where's Arno, anyway?"
"Off in the scrub, sir. His guts ain't too well today. He was up and down all night, dumping his sack."
"Get him." Bolt's tone made it plain that he wasn't interested in the man's problems. My guard hurried off, leaving me swaying on my feet. I lifted my hands to my face. I had only seen the one blow coming, but plainly there had been others. Endure, I told myself sternly. Live, and see what chances are offered you. I dropped my hands to find Bolt watching me.
"Water?" I asked in a slurry voice.
I didn't really expect any, but he turned to one of his other guards and made a small motion. A few moments later the fellow brought me a bucket of water and two dry biscuits. I drank and splashed my face. The biscuits were hard and my mouth was very sore, but I tried to get down what I could of them. I doubted I'd get much more in the day to come. I noticed then that my pouch was gone. I supposed Bolt had taken it while I was unconscious. My heart sank at the thought of Burrich's earring gone. As I gnawed gingerly at my biscuit, I wondered what he had thought of the powders in my pouch.
Bolt had us mounted and riding out before the caravan left. I caught one glimpse of Starling's face, but could not read her expression. Creece and my master carefully avoided even looking at me for fear of catching my taint. It was as if they had never known me at all.
They'd put me on a sturdy mare. My wrists were strapped tightly to the saddle pommel, making it impossible to ride comfortably or well even if I hadn't felt like a bag of broken bones. They hadn't taken the shackles off, only removed the short chain between my ankles. The longer chain to my wrists was looped up over the saddle. There was no way to avoid the chain's chafing. I had no idea what had become of my shirt, but I sorely missed it. The horse and motion would warm me somewhat, but not in any comfortable way. When a very pale-faced Arno was mounted behind his fellow guard, we set off; back toward Tradeford. My poison, I reflected ruefully, had done no more than give one man slack bowels. Such an ass
assin I was.
Come to me.
Would that I could, I told myself wearily as I was led off in the wrong direction. Would that I could. Every step the mare took rubbed my pains together. I wondered if my shoulder were broken or dislocated. I wondered at the strange sense of removal I felt from everything. And I wondered if I should hope to get to Tradeford alive, or try to get them to kill me before then. I could imagine no way of talking my way out of the chains, let alone fleeing in this flat land. I lowered my throbbing head and watched my hands as we rode. I shivered with the cold and the wind. I groped toward the mare's mind, but only succeeded in making her aware of my pain. She had no interest in jerking her head free and galloping away with me. She didn't much like the way I smelled of sheep, either.
The second time we halted for Arno to empty his guts, Bolt rode back and reined in beside me. "Bastard!"
I turned my head slowly to look at him.
"How did you do it? I saw your body, and you were dead. I know a dead man when I see one. So how are you walking around again?"
My mouth wouldn't let me form words even if I'd had any. After a moment, he snorted at my silence. "Well, don't count on it happening again. This time I'm cutting you up personally. I've got a dog at home. Eats anything. Figure he'll get rid of your liver and heart for me. What do you think of that, Bastard?"
I felt sorry for the dog, but I said nothing. When Arno staggered back to his horse, Joff helped him mount. Bolt spurred his horse back to the head of our column. We rode on.
The morning was not even half gone when Arno had his friend halt for the third time. He slipped down from the horse's back and staggered a few steps away to vomit. He doubled up, holding his aching guts as he did so, and then suddenly fell forward on his face in the dirt. One of the other guards laughed aloud, but when Arno only rolled over, groaning, Bolt ordered Joff to see what ailed him. We all watched as Joff dismounted and took water to Arno. Arno could not take the proffered water bottle and when Jeff put it to his mouth the water just ran over his chin. He turned his head aside from it slowly and closed his eyes. After a moment, Joff looked up, her eyes wide with disbelief.
"He's dead, sir." Joff's voice went a bit shrill on the words.
They scraped out a shallow grave for him and heaped rocks over the top. Two more guards had vomited before the burial was completed. Bad water was the consensus, though I caught Bolt looking at me with narrowed eyes. They hadn't bothered to take me off my horse. I hunched over my belly as if it pained me and kept my eyes down. It was no difficulty at all to look sick.
Bolt got his men remounted and we pushed on. By noon it was apparent that no one was well. One boy was swaying in his saddle as we rode. Bolt halted us for a brief rest but it turned into a longer one. No sooner would one man finish retching than another would begin. Bolt finally ordered them tersely back to their saddles despite their groaning complaints. We went on but at a gentler pace. I could smell the sour reek of sweat and puke on the woman who led my mare.
As we were going up a gentle rise, Joff fell from her saddle into the dust. I gave my mare a sharp nudge with my heels, but she only sidled sideways and put her ears back, too well trained to gallop off with her reins dangling down from her bit. Bolt halted his troop, and every man immediately dismounted, some to puke, others to simply sink down in misery beside the horses. "Make camp," Bolt ordered, despite the early hour. Then he walked aside a little way, to crouch and retch dryly for a time. Joff didn't get up.
It was Bolt who walked back to me and cut my wrists loose from my saddle pommel. He gave a tug at my chain and I all but fell down on top of him. I staggered away a few steps, then sank down, my hands over my belly. He came to hunker down beside me. He grabbed the back of my neck, gripped it tightly. But I could feel his strength was not what it had been. "What do you think, Bastard?" he asked me in a hoarse growl. He was very close to me and his breath and body stank of sickness. "Was it bad water? Or something else?"
I made gagging sounds and leaned toward him as if to puke. He moved wearily away from me. Only two of his guards had managed to unsaddle their mounts. The others were collapsed miserably in the dirt. Bolt moved among them, cursing them uselessly but feelingly. One of the stronger guards finally began to gather the makings for a fire, while another crabbed down the line of horses, doing little more than uncinching saddles and dragging them from the horses' backs. Bolt came to fasten the hobble chain between my ankles.
Two more guards died that evening. Bolt himself dragged their bodies to one side, but could not find the strength to do more than that. The fire they had managed to kindle died soon for lack of fuel. The open night on the flat land seemed darker than anything I had ever known and the dry cold a part of the darkness. I heard the groans of the men, and one babbling about his guts, his guts. I heard the restless shifting of the unwatered horses. I thought longingly of water and warmth. Odd pains bothered me. My wrists were chafed raw from the shackles. They hurt less than my shoulder, but in an ever-present way I could not ignore. I guessed the blade-bone in my shoulder was at least fractured.
Bolt came staggering over to where I lay at dawn. His eyes were sunken, his cheeks drawn with his misery. He fell to his knees beside me and gripped my hair. I groaned. "Are you dying, Bastard?" he asked me hoarsely. I moaned again and tried feebly to pull free of him. It seemed to satisfy him. "Good. Good then. Some were saying it was the Wit magic you'd put on us, Bastard. But I think bad water can kill a man, be he Witted or honorable. Still. Let's be sure of it, this time."
It was my own knife that he drew out. As he dragged back on my hair to expose my throat, I brought up my shackled hands to crash the chain against his face. At the same time I repelled at him with all the strength of Wit I could muster. He fell back from me. He crawled a few paces away, then fell on his side in the sand. I heard him breathing heavily. After a time, he stopped. I closed my eyes, listening to that silence, feeling the absence of his life like sunlight on my face.
After a time, when the day was stronger, I forced myself to open my eye. It was harder to crawl over to Bolt's body. All my aches had stiffened and combined to one pain that shrieked whenever I moved. I went over his body carefully. I found Burrich's earring in his pouch. Odd to think that I stopped right then and put it back in my ear lest I lose it. My poisons were there as well. What wasn't in his pouch was the key to my shackles. I started to sort my possessions out from his, but the sun was pounding spikes into the back of my head. I simply put his pouch at my belt. Whatever he'd had in there was mine now. Once you've poisoned a man, I reflected, you might as well rob him as well. Honor no longer seemed to have much to do with my life.
Whoever had shackled me probably carried the key, I surmised. I crawled to the next body, but found nothing in his pouch save some Smoke herbs. I sat up, and became aware of faltering footsteps crunching over the dry earth toward me. I lifted my eyes, squinted against the sunlight. The boy came slowly toward me, his steps wavering. In one hand he had a waterskin. In the other he held the key where I might see it.
A dozen steps away from me, he halted. "Your life for mine," he croaked. He was swaying where he stood. I made no response. He tried again. "Water and the key to your bonds. Any horse you want to take. I won't fight you. Only lift your Wit-curse off me."
He looked so young and pitiful standing there.
"Please," he begged me abruptly.
I found myself shaking my head slowly. "It was poison," I told him. "There's nothing I can do for you."
He stared at me, bitterly, incredulous. "Then I have to die? Today?" His words came out as a dry whisper. His dark eyes locked to mine. I found myself nodding.
"Damn you!" He shrieked the words, burning whatever life strength he had left. "Then you die, too. You die right here!" He flung the key from us as far as he could, then staggered off in a feeble run, squawking and flailing at the horses.
The beasts had stood all night unpicketed, had even waited all morning hoping for grain and water. T
hey were well-trained animals. But the smell of sickness and death and this boy's incomprehensible behavior were too much for them. When he screamed suddenly and then fell facedown almost amongst them, a big gray gelding threw up his head, snorting. I sent calming thoughts toward him, but he had thoughts of his own. He pranced nervously away, then suddenly decided this was a good decision and broke into a canter. The other horses followed his lead. Their hooves were not a thundering on the plain; rather they were the diminishing patter of a rainstorm as it vanishes, taking all hope of life with it.
The boy did not move again, but it was a time before he died. I had to listen to his soft weeping as I searched for the key. I wanted desperately to go look for waterskins instead, but I feared that if I turned away from the area where he had thrown it, I would never be able to decide which unremarkable stretch of sand held my salvation. So I crawled over it on my hands and knees; manacles cutting and chafing at my wrists and ankles, as I peered at the ground with my one good eye. Even after the sound of his weeping became too soft to hear, even after he died, I heard it still inside my mind. Sometimes I still can. Another young life ended senselessly, to no profit, as a result of Regal's vendetta with me. Or perhaps because of mine with him.
I did eventually find the key, just as I was certain that the setting sun would hide it forever. It was crudely made and turned very stiffly in the locks, but it worked. I opened the shackles, prying them out of my puffy flesh. The one on my left ankle had been so tight that my foot was cold and near numb. After a few minutes, pain flooded back into my foot with life. I didn't pay much attention. I was too busy seeking for water.
Most of the guards had drained their waterskins just as my poison had drained all fluids from their guts. The one the boy had shown me held only a few mouthfuls. I drank them very slowly, holding the water in my mouth for a long time before swallowing it. In Bolt's saddlebags I found a flask of brandy. I allowed myself one small mouthful of it, then capped it and set it aside. It was not much more than a day's walk back to the waterhole. I could make it. I'd have to.