by Lori Cohen
Later, when we got back to Sarah’s place, I knew Owen and I were both thinking the same thing. Now what? What does it all mean?
“Tomorrow we will get some answers,” Owen said, sitting by my side, twirling my hair with his fingers, and tucking it behind my ear.
“I hope so,” I said, smiling to cover my uneasiness.
“Something has brought us here, and I really believe it’s for a reason.”
“You’re right. I feel that too,” I said gently stroking his face and kissing his sweet lips.
“Relax and go to sleep and in the morning, I get to wish you a happy birthday first thing!”
I went into the bedroom that I was sharing with Sarah. As I got myself ready for bed, I reflected on how fortunate it was that our search for clues lead us to Joseph, our biggest lead, and that Sarah was here to make this part of our adventure that much easier for us. I took comfort that these things were not an accident — that we were where we were supposed to be, and that the mystery would soon unravel. In that moment of reflection, I started to believe that there was some order to things in the universe, and everything was not so random.
Before getting into bed, my phone chimed with a text from Owen, saying simply, “I love you more than words can say.”
It had been an extraordinary day and it really did bring us closer together. “I love you more,” I wrote back.
Knowing Owen was sleeping on the sofa in the living room, just steps away from me, I fell peacefully to sleep. Maybe it was my closeness to him as I slept, or that it was my birthday, but my dream that night gave us so many missing pieces of our puzzle.
It was dark, but the small light guided us down the dock. Our eyes scanned for “dreamcatcher” written in italics on the back of his boat. He was telling me that he wanted our first time to be special, and something I would remember forever. He wanted to take me out to the sandbar because tonight he knew low tide would be just after midnight. Making love, under the stars in the middle of the bay, was the most romantic thing he could imagine. I was giddy. He stepped onto the boat and reached his hand out to support my step. Once on board, he pulled me next to him in the captain’s chair. With the moon lighting his face, all his features came into focus. “Daniel,” I said, “I love you.” He brushed my hair back, tucking it behind my ears. “I will love you forever Grace.” We kissed slowly and gently until he pulled away and said, “let’s get out to the sandbar.” I turned my head to look out over my shoulder at the moon over the water, and as the silence broke, my ears were ringing. The moon and the water faded to darkness. Then silence. Moments later, Owen’s face appeared as he lifted my weightless body out of the water.
“Happy birthday sleepyhead!” Sarah said, tickling me awake.
I sat up disoriented, rubbing my face. Looking around, I saw Sarah standing over me, looking confused. “You okay?” she asked.
“Yeah. Thanks,’” I said, not feeling okay at all. My mouth was dry. My brain was quickly trying to process what had just happened. Usually I had the benefit of several nights of the same dream to fully absorb it, but this was too big and too important for me to forget a single detail. I closed my eyes committing to memory every moment, so that I would be able to share it with Owen.
“Where’s Owen?” I asked.
“I’m here,” he said, walking into the room wearing nothing but his baggy, grey sweatpants.
It took me a while to gather the words, as I stared awkwardly at his bare chest. “Happy birthday,” I said, instantly feeling warm inside, just seeing him.
“Happy birthday to you too,” he said, leaning down to kiss me on my forehead. “You slept late. Sorry to rush you, but we need to get ready and go if we are going to get there by 11.” He turned and walked out of the room.
‘Sorry! Right! I’m up…” I said, trying to compose myself. I quickly threw on some jean shorts, t-shirt and flip-flops, and said, “give me five minutes and then we can go.” In the bathroom, all I could think about was the dream. His name is Daniel? He called me Grace? And then Owen was there. What does it all mean?! I needed to know!
Getting into the car, Owen said he didn’t sleep a wink. He was too excited to meet Joe. He spent the night tossing and turning, trying to imagine how it would go. Clearly, he was not settled enough in his sleep to have the dream come to him, as it did to me.
“Did you sleep well?” he asked.
“Yeah, I was exhausted and drained, so I slept really well. And, I had a dream…”
“A new one?” He asked excitedly.
“Yes, a new one. And it was big!” I went on to tell him about the dream — well almost everything. Something inside me told me not to tell him about his appearance in my dream. It was so unusual, and I really didn't want to freak him out.
“Oh my God! So, Daniel is the name of the guy you are seeing in your dreams? And Grace is the name of the girl I am seeing?? This is huge!”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“So, let’s ask Joe about Grace and Daniel. He was friends with them, maybe he still is…for all we know, they are all still best friends.” Owen was clearly excited by the new revelation.
“I’ll ask him. I have an idea how to. Just go with it, okay?” I said, as we were getting out of the car in front of his studio.
“Okay great,” he said, grabbing my hand as we walked. He looked over at me and said, “Good luck!”
I took a deep breath and said, “Yep, good luck. If all goes well, we’ll get the best birthday gift of all — answers!”
Joe opened the door to the studio. He looked exactly like his photo, and more significantly, he looked exactly like the boy I had come to know in my dreams. Tall, medium build, dark red hair, freckles, dimples, and a 1000-watt smile. He greeted us like we were old friends, with warmth and interest about us and the make-believe project. He poured us coffee and had set out some fresh corn and blueberry muffins from a bakery down the street.
I took him through the bogus family photoshoot I wanted to do, and he told me that he would email a proposal in the next couple of days. He talked about the fabulous location options we could choose for the shoot, and Owen and I played along showing appropriate signals of interest and enthusiasm. When the timing was right, I decided to lead us into another discussion, unsure of where it would take us. But Joe was open, friendly and very talkative, so I had a feeling we would learn something more.
“Joe, we were thinking of visiting New Seabury on this trip. Have you been there?” I asked in a curious and pseudo-ignorant tone.
“Of course! It’s a couple of towns away. I spent much of my childhood there. My family’s summer house is here in Osterville, but all my friends lived over in New Seabury. I think I spent more time there than here.” He chuckled.
“Oh yeah, we noticed on your website that you were the photographer for Kerry McDonald’s wedding. I know she lived in New Seabury, right?” I put it out there…
“How do you know Kerry?” Excitedly, Joe snapped his head towards me with a great big smile.
“Oh, a friend of our family knows her and showed me her wedding photos. The photos are incredible. That’s actually how we found you,” I lied.
“Small world! It’s funny, Kerry was one of my best friends from way back. What’s your friend’s name? Maybe I know her!” He asked expectantly.
“Oh, I don’t think you would. She didn’t seem to know you personally. Her name is Dani.”
“No, I don’t know any Danis,” he shrugged.
Then I took a real risk. “She also mentioned some other friends she had in New Seabury — Emilia Olsen, and Grace and Daniel. I’m not sure of their last names.”
Joseph looked at me and seemed to stop breathing for a moment. He exhaled and said, “I suppose Dani knew them when she was younger.”
“Why do you say that?” I felt lightheaded as I waited for his answer.
“Grace and Daniel passed away a long time ago.” He said, as he lifted his hand and placed it on his forehead, as though hi
s head needed support. His words hung there, echoing in my head, for a few moments. Owen and I turned toward one another overcome with grief, shock, and fear.
Turning back to Joe, all I could think to say was, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s crazy that your friend knew them, and that you came here today of all days, and that we are talking about them,” he said trying to make sense of it all.
“What is it about today?” I asked, confused by what he was saying.
Joe closed his eyes and opened them slowly. “It was 17 years ago today, at midnight, July 19, that Grace and Daniel died.”
My jaw dropped, and in my mind, I could hear both Owen’s and my voice saying the same thing.
It was 17 years ago today, at that moment, we were born.
Chapter 17
“Joe, I’m really sorry about your loss,” Owen said, “And you’re right, the coincidence of having this conversation today is crazy.”
“Completely,” Joe said, his smile now permanently gone. Sadness had taken over and he was clearly thinking back about his dear friends.
“Do you mind if I ask; how did it happen?” I ventured gingerly.
“No, I don’t mind. It was going to be impossible to NOT think about them today. Anniversaries are always hard. For the first few years, our group of friends got together every July 19th on the beach to talk, and just to be together. But now that we’re older, it’s hard to make it happen. So, yeah, I’m okay to talk about it. It’s good therapy, I guess.” He took a deep breath and then continued, “I don’t know how much your friend told you, but we were a really tight group, from the time we were about 15. Grace, Emilia, Kerry, me, Daniel and Gary. Grace and Daniel were just drawn to each other from the beginning. Daniel and I were in a band together — I sang, and he played guitar. One day, we were performing at the Popponesset Marketplace and Grace came and was taking some photos of us. She loved photography. Daniel noticed her snapping photos, so he approached her after the show to talk to her. The rest, as they say, is history. They were just meant to be together. It was the kind of stuff songs are written about. Like, you know, movie kind of love. But even though they were a couple, we all still hung out together, ya know. Those were some pretty idyllic summer days!” He smiled, and paused before continuing, speaking very slowly now, “Daniel planned to take Grace out for a romantic boat ride that night. He had told us all about it — about how the tide would be out after midnight. He wanted to take her to the sandbar in the bay. The weather was clear and there was a big moon that night. But they never got out of the marina. There was an explosion,” he paused. “We learned afterwards that it was a faulty ignition. The boat exploded when they tried to start the engine. It was so tragic and so painful. They were only 17.” He looked at us, probably realizing that we were around that age. “I’m surprised your friend didn't know about it, because the entire community was in mourning that summer.” His hand was back up on his forehead.
“Wow,” was all I could get out. I had grabbed Owen’s hand some time when Joe was talking, and I felt our bodies leaning into each other. My dream from the night before was replaying in my mind over and over. The boat, the moon, Daniel…and Grace.
The three of us sat there silently for a long moment.
“I’m so sorry for laying all that on you,” he said. “I’m sure that wasn’t what you expected to hear when you asked about them…but I don’t know... it may just be the day, but the way you two are together and the energy between you reminds me of them… way back then. Owen, the way you look at Aria, is just how Daniel looked at Grace. It’s a connection that everyone could see and feel.” Joe’s words, and his sincerity made the whole truth seem undeniable.
I started crying and I couldn’t tell Joe why.
“I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry.” Joe reached out and touched my free hand.
“Don’t worry,” I explained, “It’s just special to hear that you see that with me and Owen. That means more than you know.”
“I definitely feel that. Listen Aria, I think you guys should go to New Seabury today and walk around and enjoy this gorgeous day. Let’s let their memory lift us. I told you a beautiful love story, yes it was tragic, but let’s just think about the beautiful. Okay?” I got up and gave Joe a hug and thanked him.
Owen got up after me and said, as he shook Joe’s hand, “You’re a great guy and I know you were a great friend to Daniel. Thank you for everything.” And as strange an image as it should have been — seeing a 17-year-old boy reassuring a 34-year-old man — it was anything but strange. It was obvious that Joe felt truly comforted by Owen’s words, and Owen got to thank his friend he’d come to know so well in his dreams.
As we walked in the fresh air, my mind raced. The whole picture had eluded me for months, but now, with all the puzzle pieces, the picture was coming into focus. At the very moment Grace died, I was born. I was taking that in and strangely, it made sense.
I thought about our final project about Afterlife. Eastern religions talked about the jiva, the soul that survives physical death. Grace’s soul, on its journey, became a part of me. I probably should have felt haunted by that knowledge, but I found it comforting. Call it reincarnation, call it whatever you want, but Grace is part of who I am.
Thinking back, I couldn’t help but wonder if my ambivalence about Jake, at the time, was that part of me that knew there was someone else my heart desired; Aria didn’t know, but Grace did. Owen’s proximity to me — his move to Brookline in August — stirred that unknown part of me. It was when he moved to my town, and my school, that I started having dreams about people and places I didn’t know. Although they came to me as dreams, they were actually more than dreams — they were Grace’s beautiful memories. Her memories, wrapped in music, carried from her life into mine. The music and the emotion, timeless. Grace’s soul lives on in me, and I have inherited her love.
Daniel, at the very same moment, found his place with Owen. Owen, in the same way, has discovered his spiritual connection to Daniel, to Grace, and to me.
Owen and I always felt our connection. The connection now had meaning. Finding one another, in this life, was a gift and a mystery. But if we believe that there is order in the universe that we cannot see, or always explain, then we also have to believe that we were meant to find one another in this way. This is our truth, and it feels magical.
We both knew where we were heading as we drove down Route 28 towards New Seabury. Neither of us said a word. I led Owen down the dock to the boat slip I remembered from the dream. Now in its place, was a magnificent sailboat with the name “Second Wind” inscribed on the stern. We sat down on the dock and I told Owen about the rest of my dream. About how it was him who lifted me out of the water. How it was him who found me and rescued me. How it was him who was now a permanent part of my undying soul.
For the first time in months, we both felt free, melting into one another as we exhaled. “Let their memory lift us,” Joe had said. And so we did.
The End
(and the beginning)