by Nana Malone
“I can look at them for you and give you an objective opinion,” Jen volunteered, taking the phone from her to flip through the pictures.
She wasn’t particularly skilled at keeping a straight face while she did so, which made Sasha’s face burn. When she got to the end, Jen’s eyes went wide, and she pressed her lips together before turning the phone over and handing the phone back to Sasha.
“Okay, yeah,” Jen said with a nod. “If those get out, it would be bad. I mean, they’re tastefully shot, never would have guessed Fox had such command of lighting and an eye for composition—”
“I got it,” Echo interrupted. “It’s bad for Sasha if these get out.”
“They could be worse. In a lot of them you can’t see your face, so that’s something. But that last one—the little video thing…” Jen flushed.
“Oh, God!” Sasha moaned, as the clip in question began playing. She had visions of that clip splashed across the internet with gossip articles about how she was spreading her legs for the Coulter connections Fox had to offer. Something that her work with Echo would only appear to confirm. Headlines about how many different ways she could bend her body to the Coulters’ advantage. She’d be reviled. Called a gold-digger, a sell-out. The thought of Ryan’s reaction. The vindication he would feel, and the superiority he would project when he found out that she was fucking Fox.
Thinking about how her family would react was actually worse, because she knew her father would see it as her big opportunity. He’d probably make some comment about how getting Fox to knock her up and marry her would set her up for life. Her stomach rolled.
“So let’s see who he sent them to instead of himself,” Jen said, pushing the hand Sasha held the phone in up toward her face. “Forward him the address and he can contact them, or you can reach out to them directly and explain what happened and appeal to their sense of decency.”
“This is not how I wanted to make my name in the industry,” Sasha whispered, feeling too defeated to say much more.
“When did Fox try sending the photos to himself?” Echo asked, her brow furrowed.
“Well,” Sasha cleared her throat. “He took them while we were at a party last night. As soon as…as soon as we were done and were getting dressed again,” she had to look away as she continued, “he realized that the phone he’d grabbed was mine and not his. So he took my phone and sent them to…whomever.”
“It looks like he might’ve sent them to another Coulter,” Jen remarked as she peered at the phone.
“Oh, God,” Sasha groaned. “Who? Please God, not your grandfather.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Echo insisted. Sasha was inclined to agree with the statement until she realized Echo meant something else by it.
“What are you talking about? Of course it matters. It’s humiliating.”
“Well, yeah, it is all that,” Echo agreed. “But if Fox sent the photos last night, and it’s the middle of the day today… Okay, maybe it would take longer than that for the photos to become a big thing, but the longer you don’t hear about it from anyone except Fox, the better the chances are that whoever he sent them to is going to sit on them and make sure they don’t get out. If he accidentally sent them to someone in the family, they’ll almost certainly keep it to themselves,” Echo insisted.
“It’s Dax’s address, by the looks of things.” Jen jumped in, pointing at the screen. “Fox probably just hit the ‘D’ instead of the ‘F’ when he was typing it in.”
“You guys all have email addresses through the company?” Sasha asked Echo. “Are they routed through the same server? Do you know if anyone else in the company has the ability to access things like that if they’re shared?” She was beginning to panic again at the sight of the Legacy Sports domain name on the end of the email address.
“One step at a time,” Echo said in as calming a tone as she could manage. “We’ll take care of this and make sure they don’t go any further. Send that message to Fox, and I’ll give him a call and make sure he knows what he’s doing in terms of handling this. We’ll help you.”
Fifteen
Fox wasn’t sure Sasha would send him the email address at all—she didn’t sound like she trusted him to do much of anything anymore, and given the stupidity of the mistake he’d made, he wasn’t sure he blamed her.
What killed him was that she thought he had purposely sent the photos as some sort of revenge against her. If she’d just told him the direction of the story, he wouldn’t have been too worried about it. Curious and a little self-conscious, sure, but not worried. He trusted her and her judgment. She’d always looked out for him.
But the way she reacted and got defensive about her story…that had him worried. He sat on his bed and reached for his computer, opening up a browser and searching for Sasha’s name, silently praying that the photos wouldn’t appear in the results. There were quite a few hits, most of them linking back to the station’s homepage, and the video with Sasha’s story.
After taking a deep breath, he clicked play and watched the video. It was longer than he’d thought it would be, and he listened to the way she spoke about the struggles of washed-up athletes who had seemingly wasted their lives, only to choke and fail at the moment of truth and fade into obscurity. When the story ended, he clicked to watch it again.
His phone vibrated, indicating a message had come through, but he ignored it.
This was what Sasha had been working on for the last several weeks. All the times he’d confided in her. When he thought there was something wrong with him. The fact that he had considered going to a special therapist because he was worried at some level he was doing it on purpose, the thoughts he’d confessed to having that made him feel like a horrible person. And she’d listened quietly, reassuring him.
But really, this was what had been going through her mind. She didn’t believe in him, she pitied him. When she was encouraging him to keep going, had it just been some kind of experiment to see how far he would go? What it would take to break him? Was she just looking for more material?
She must have been. That was the only reason he could think of for why she hadn’t just told him about it sooner. If she’d said it when the idea first occurred to her, he probably would have laughed about it with her and told her to go for it. But she’d hidden it from him. Lied to him about it. She thought he would be mad enough to leak naked pictures of her for revenge, which meant she thought he should be that mad. The more he thought about it, the more hurt he was, and more convinced she had been using him.
When the phone rang and he saw it was Echo calling, he ignored that call as well. She was with Sasha and was probably checking up on him to scold him about the pictures. She’d probably seen Sasha’s news piece by now and knew the truth. Each time he watched it, it was increasingly obvious.
The next time the phone rang, it was Dax calling. There was a chance Echo had put him up to it, but he might also have just seen Sasha’s story and want to check in on how his infamous loser of a younger brother was handling the taste of fame he’d been given.
“What, Dax?” Fox answered, his voice devoid of emotion.
“If you wanted to let the family know you and Sasha Tenison were a thing now, you could have just said it,” his older brother teased. “We would have believed you. You didn’t have to send us photographic proof.”
Fox froze. “I sent the pictures to you?” His desperation to rectify his earlier mistake temporarily overpowered the disgust he’d been feeling for Sasha and the tactical move that suggested she was willing to sacrifice their friendship for the sake of her career.
“Hadn’t checked my email until I got a call from Echo a few minutes ago. She said someone hit the ‘D’ instead of the ‘F’ when they were trying to email the pictures to you.”
Fuck, had Dax looked at them?
“Delete them. Please,” Fox begged. “Just…get rid of them, whatever you do.”
“Already done. I can get you in touch with the IT guy who ha
ndles the company server the emails get routed through. He’s had to help me out with something like this before. Don’t…ask,” Dax added. “Just…he’s a good guy. He’ll walk you through the steps so you can take care of it yourself, and he never has to see or be tempted or anything like that.”
“Thanks. I’ll give him a call,” Fox said. Some of the tension melted away, but he knew it wouldn’t fade completely until the photo situation was entirely in hand.
“No problem. And, uh…if you’re going to go digital, don’t do it on your cell phone. Use a camera where you can print off a few copies to stick in an old photo album or something and then delete them off the memory card. Nothing with the internet,” Dax advised. “Just, you know…I heard it from a friend.”
“Oh, there will be no next time on this one,” said Fox.
“She’ll get over it, Fox,” Dax assured him. “Just give it some time and she’ll—”
“That’s not why there won’t be a next time. Have you seen the story she did that aired today?”
“I thought Sasha was still in school?”
“She’s doing an internship at TVN and had to put a piece together for a project. They liked hers enough to air it. You should check it out before telling me about the mistake I made.” With the photo situation almost resolved, anger returned as his primary emotion, making him fume over Sasha’s betrayal. “Oh, and Coach wants me to start tomorrow’s home game,” he added. “Let me know if you’ll be around and want tickets.” He hung up on Dax before his brother could reply.
A few minutes later, Dax sent the phone number for the company IT guy, along with a confirmation that he would like to see his little brother in net the next day.
Sasha was much calmer after Echo talked to Dax. He promised to delete it immediately, and he assured Echo that the company’s IT guy would be able to clear it off the server.
“Now that that’s settled, do we think we can focus on this fitting?” Echo asked after hanging up the phone.
They were quieter than usual as they bustled about to get Sasha into the newly redesigned runner’s outfit in the new fabric. Jen made notations according to Echo’s dictation and grabbed the things Echo needed that weren’t close at hand.
“I want you to raise your arms like this,” Echo instructed and demonstrated, running through a number of movements for Sasha to attempt and report on how it felt to perform them in the new clothes.
Once the preliminaries were taken care of, Jen brought out a camera so they could get a few shots of the completed outfit to go over with the photographer and makeup crew so they could prep for the photo shoot the following week. Sasha’s eyes fell on the camera, and she felt herself flush.
“Just…keep the clothes on, okay?” Jen teased, lightening the mood a bit.
Sasha rolled her eyes.
Echo directed Sasha’s movements and body position once more, while Jen was in charge of taking the pictures.
Each time the camera flashed, Sasha’s breath hitched a little. Shame washed over her. She’d hurt him. The one person she’d loved since she was a kid. She’d hurt him. The things she’d said on the phone…the story. It was a mistake that could have happened to anyone, and he had immediately called to tell her everything and apologize. And what had she done? She’d chewed him out over it. Worse, she’d accused him of doing it on purpose. The guilt she felt about the story she’d done…she’d taken the anger she had toward herself and redirected it at Fox.
“Could you try to look a little less…distraught?” Jen called.
Echo elbowed her friend. “It doesn’t matter for these,” she said to Sasha, rolling her eyes. “Give her a break.”
“Sorry,” Sasha said, trying to get her head back to the present. “She’s right. Even if the proper shoot isn’t until next week, it’s not like I can’t practice.” She blinked and shook herself out before turning to face Jen and the camera, striking a pose.
But her thoughts wouldn’t be controlled so easily. They drifted back to the night before and posing for Fox. The way his face lit up as she shifted on the bed, teasing him as she draped the fabric of her skirt across her body to conceal and reveal the intimate spaces she shared with him. The way he’d made a show of each piece of clothing as he removed it in payment for the next picture. The warmth that had flooded through her, even as her skin broke out in goose bumps.
No, she didn’t regret those photographs. She hadn’t even deleted them from her phone yet. Not even their short sex tape. A whole new wave of guilt crashed over her at the thought of how she’d blown her opportunity to come clean with him. She’d definitely blown her chance at having more with him. She’d been so scared to admit she wanted it, so scared of losing the friendship they already had, that she might well have lost it all.
Her phone rang, and Echo grabbed it for her.
“Fox,” she mouthed, handing it over and then grabbing Jen to pull her away and give Sasha some privacy.
“Look, the photo thing is all taken care of,” he said curtly when she answered. “No traces of them left anywhere along the chain, including the email server, and Dax swore to me that he deleted his. The only ones left, if you haven’t deleted them already, are the ones on your phone.”
“I’m sorry,” Sasha said quickly. “About how I reacted before, and about the story.” He didn’t hang up, but he didn’t say anything either, so she continued. “I meant to tell you sooner. I should have told you sooner. And it doesn’t matter that I didn’t think they’d ever air it or whatever…I still should have talked to you about it.”
“I think you were pretty thorough,” he responded with no trace of sympathy or forgiveness in his voice. “I don’t think I could have added anything more to it, if you had been looking for more input.”
“Input? Fox…you know that’s not what I meant. That’s not why I wanted to do the story at all.” Sasha tried to defend herself, but couldn’t get mad about what he said. His disgust was justified, and she should just take it. “I wasn’t trying to use you. You know I would never do that.” Her voice was low because she couldn’t suppress the wavering in it if she spoke any louder, and the last thing she wanted was to cry. Things would be even worseif he thought she was manipulating him.
“I used to think that, but now… You know how much I hate being pitied, and yet… Being pitied by people you thought were your friends is so much worse than being pitied by strangers. At least if Coach Tremblay gave me this chance on the team because he pitied me, I can tell myself that he doesn’t really know me. But you… You know me better than anyone.”
Tears streamed down her cheeks.
“Coach Tremblay doesn’t pity you, and I certainly don’t. I know how great you are in goal, and I know how hard you try—”
“But you know it’s not enough—and you’re right. Maybe it’s my own fault for complaining about it all the time. You did say you were tired of stroking egos, and what was I doing with all that complaining about myself-doubt if it wasn’t looking for you to give me a solid boost, huh?”
“Stop it, Fox,” she said firmly. “I said I was sorry for not coming to you about the story sooner. I was afraid you’d do something like this—let it bother you and make you doubt yourself.”
“Give me an excuse for when I inevitably fail?”
“You’re not going to fail.”
“I don’t believe you. After all, I can’t even send myself an email without screwing it up.”
“It was a mistake, and I’m sorry for how I reacted,” she repeated. “I was surprised and scared and took my fear out on you. You did the right thing by telling me what happened and you’ve handled it, and now I’m sorry I made such a big deal out of the whole thing.”
“It is a big deal. You can’t trust me to do anything,” he said with such conviction Sasha felt his self-loathing like a punch to the chest.
“Stop saying things like that,” she requested again. “I wish we could go back a day. Go back to the way things were at the party. I…I li
ked the way things were between us then.”
“Before I screwed things up with the pictures?”
“Forget about the pictures,” she snapped. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m…I’m screwing this up, I know, but I’m trying…trying to say that…I liked being with you, and…” She took a deep breath and forced the words out. “I want…to be with you—not just be with you like…sex.” She began to ramble as she struggled to put what she wanted into words. “Not that I’m complaining about the sex. What I’m trying to say is…I love you, Fox. I’m so sorry for how I handled that story, but…I don’t want to lose you over it. Please…please…forgive me…”
There was a pause from his end of the line that was eventually replaced with complete silence.
Sasha looked at the phone in disbelief, unsure what to make of his lack of reply. Then she gave in to her sobs.
Sixteen
Echo and Jen had insisted Sasha crash on their couch. They’d overheard enough of her conversation with Fox to know it would be uncomfortable for Sasha to go home to the apartment she shared with him. Her classes had been cancelled for the next day, and the last thing she needed was to be in Fox’s face. She didn’t have to be at the station until later in the afternoon, and she was dreading that as much as facing Fox. There were a number of congratulatory emails from the staff for how well her story was being received by both the audience and the network’s higher ups. There were even plans to release segment two. But it was too late for that now.
She’d even received a civil message of congratulations from Ryan. Which was surprising. She hadn’t heard from him, except through the wary stares of his immediate colleagues in the film editing departments. Sasha had managed to avoid running into him at the station…though he might have been making just as much of an effort to avoid an encounter with her. His email made her want to gag with his forced words of encouragement. You’ll be sure to get an offer before your internship is up… They’d have to be crazy to let you slip through their fingers.