by A. Aubry
“You should not be saying sorry,” I whispered as I rested my head on his good shoulder, “I will never be able to make this up to you. You were shot because of me.”
“And I’d do it again in a heartbeat if that meant that you were safe,” he said softly and kissed the back of my head.
I sighed, “I should probably let the nurses know that you’re awake.”
“Are you kiddin’? They already know. I pressed the nurses button on that remote control probably an hour ago. They’ve been in here already, I just let you sleep through it.”
“Jackson William! You just let me sleep there like some clueless woman?”
“The nurses said you were a wreck since the moment you got here after I was brought in. And in order for you to just pass out like that, you must’ve been tired. I didn’t want to wake you and then have you sit there all worried about what the nurses and doctors would be sayin’. Now I have you all to myself and I can tell you that everythin’ looks good and normal.”
“Okay, but you owe me for not waking me up the second that you woke up,” I sat up and looked at him.
“Dinner and a movie once I get out of here sound alright?” He smiled and put his hand on my cheek.
“Sounds perfect. I’m so happy that you are okay,” I put my hand over his.
“I am too, just so that I can be here for you. I love you, Madeline, so much.”
I blushed, “I love you too, Jackson.”
“Good, because you’re goin’ to have a few more months of pure Jackson all the time,” he chuckled.
“I thought I signed up for that when I married you,” I teased.
“Good point. But, I meant that the doctor said that recovery will take several months maybe even longer. I’m not goin’ to be able to travel with the team for away games, but I will still go to the home games to support the team.”
“So, what I’m hearing is…lots of more uninterrupted time with my husband during our first year of marriage,” I smiled innocently.
Jackson nodded, “Exactly. Think you’re up for it?”
I laughed and gave him a quick kiss, “I most definitely am.”
Chapter Nineteen
Two weeks later, Jackson was back at home and resting comfortably in our bed. What he didn’t know was that I was in the bathroom taking a pregnancy test. I hadn’t been feeling the best lately and my period was very late. With Jackson being in the hospital, I thought it was the stress from that, but now that he was home and happy…I had a feeling that it might have been something more. My timer said there was one-minute left until the test was done doing its thing and that might as well have been another hour.
“Mad, do you want me to order a pizza for dinner?” Jackson called from the other side of the door.
“Sure, baby, that sounds great!” I responded, hoping that my voice didn’t waver as badly as I thought it did.
My alarm on my phone went off and I went to check the test as it laid on the countertop. One simple glance and I nearly combusted in excitement. According to the test, I was pregnant and at least three weeks along. Putting the test in the garbage, I swung open the bathroom door and jumped onto the bed just as Jackson was hanging up the phone.
“Jackson, Jackson, Jackson!” I squealed.
“Don’t worry, I remembered to order your garlic bread,” he laughed as I straddled his lap.
“This is way better than garlic bread!” I yelled putting my hands on his chest as he reclined back against our pillows.
“My Madeline says that there is somethin’ better than garlic bread? Am I dreamin’?” He teased.
I narrowed my eyes at him and crossed my arms.
“Okay, okay. What is better than garlic bread to you?”
My face split into a grin and I grabbed Jackson’s good hand before putting it on my belly, “In a little less than nine months…we are going to have a little Ryder of our own.”
Jackson’s mouth fell open as he looked from my face down to where his hand rested on my stomach, “Are you serious?”
“Yeah…I just took the test and it said that I’m at least three weeks pregnant…are you happy?”
His gaze moved back up to my eyes as a wide smile spread across his lips, “Happy? This is the best news you have ever given me, Madeline.”
I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his, “We are going to have a baby, Jack. We are starting our own little family.”
“Wait…the baby isn’t goin’ to be born durin’ baseball season, is it? Because I only get three days of paternity leave and I don’t want to put you through the whole newborn phase by yourself,” his brows furrowed in concern.
“If I counted it right, the baby will be born in November. So, depending on if you guys make it to post season games, the baby will not be born in the regular baseball season.”
Jackson smiled and wrapped his good arm around me, pulling me in closer to him, “I love you, Madeline. This is amazin’ news.”
“I love you too, Jackson. I was a little worried that you would think it was too soon in our marriage. You and Josie weren’t even trying to have kids yet at this point in your relationship and now here we are, a month and a half into our marriage and we are already expecting,” I ran a hand through his hair as I leaned against him.
“Josie and I were not fit to be parents together. We weren’t tryin’ for a child because I wanted her to prove to me that she was faithful to me. We saw where that got us. This isn’t too soon for us. You and I are a team and we care about one another more than anythin’. Bringin’ a baby into the world with you, god Mad, that makes me so fuckin’ happy.”
I rolled over onto his left side and cuddled against him, kissing him gently, “It’s going to be you, me, and little baby Ryder.”
“I bet it’s goin’ to be a boy,” Jackson smirked and pressed his lips against my forehead, “He’s goin’ to play baseball just like his daddy.”
I rolled my eyes, “It’s going to be a girl and her daddy is going to worship the ground that she walks on.”
Jackson chuckled, “Well, I’ve already got a lot of practice with that because I worship the ground you walk on.”
Moving in close, I brought our lips just to the brink of kissing but staying just out of reach, “If your arm wasn’t injured I would say prove it.”
“You know how much I want to,” Jackson whispered.
“Maybe later we can…celebrate the right way?” I bit my lip.
He raised an eyebrow, “That mean you’re goin’ to be on top?”
I nodded excitedly and grinned. Jackson kissed me deeply and I tangled my fingers in his hair. We were interrupted by the security officer in the lobby calling Jackson’s phone to tell us that dinner was there. I got up from the bed and went to greet the pizza guy at the door. Handing over some cash, I took the boxes and closed the door before locking it. When I came back into the bedroom, Jackson was on his phone with a large smile on his face.
“She just told me, and I knew that you would want to know,” he said to whomever was on the phone.
Climbing back onto the bed, I set the boxes up and opened them. I took a slice of pepperoni pizza out of the box and relished in the amazing taste. Jackson reached out and grabbed my pizza before taking a large bite.
“Hey! It’s not nice to steal a pregnant lady’s pizza!” I whined loudly as I tried to get it back.
“Don’t worry, Shelby and Janette are yellin’ at me now because they heard you,” he pouted.
I smiled defiantly, “Good, you deserve to be scolded.”
Jackson held the slice out to me and I took a bite. It was hard to believe that we were going to be parents. On the one hand, I felt like I was more than ready to be a mother but on the other, I felt like I was still a child myself at times. The fact that our baby was going to be born outside of baseball season was a bonus. If I was being honest, I sort of planned it that way.
Jackson knew that I had gotten off my birth control around the time of our wedding.
Having a baby with a professional sports player was something that could not exactly go unplanned. They were only allowed a few days off during the season, even if their wife was giving birth and their child was just born. It was sad, but it was the rules of the game.
I shared a piece of garlic bread with Jackson as he finished his conversation with his family. Once that conversation was complete, we made the call to my parents. There was never a time when I had ever heard my mother scream as loud as when we told her the news. As I talked to my parents, we finished eating dinner. When we were so full that we couldn’t eat anymore, I put the leftovers in the refrigerator and came back into the bedroom. It was starting to get late and I wanted to relax, so I talked Jackson into taking a bath with me. His gunshot wound couldn’t get too wet just yet, so we had been taking baths together. The bathtub took almost no time at all to fill up and soon we were sinking into the water.
“Why didn’t we take more of these before you got hurt?” I asked as I played footsie with Jackson.
“Because my wife likes to take showers so more can happen than just gettin’ clean,” Jackson winked.
I blushed, “I don’t mind getting dirty after getting clean.”
Jackson scooted to the middle of the large bathtub and I met him right there, “I don’t mind it either.”
We exchanged several quick kisses and I wrapped my arms loosely around his neck, “So, what is the plan for the rest of spring training?”
He put his hands on my hips and brought me onto his lap, “I’m goin’ to go to the field every day and support my team. Just because I am injured doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be out there supportin’ them.”
“And I agree with you one hundred percent. Now that you are out of the hospital, I want you to do whatever you want to do.”
“Well, right now I want to do a little somethin’.”
“Oh, is that right? What does my husband want to do?”
Jackson leaned in close and pressed his lips against my ear, “I want to make my wife feel good.”
“You already make me feel good,” I teased.
When he tugged on my earlobe, a moan escaped my lips. I bit my lip as Jackson kissed down to my neck and his hands explored my body. He lifted me up by the hips before bringing me back down, slowly sliding his cock into me. I gasped and fisted my fingers in his hair. Jackson and I hadn’t exactly been able to be intimate for the last two weeks because of him being in the hospital. It was difficult for me to see him in a hospital like that and it was even more difficult that I was not allowed to cuddle at night with my husband. He always had some way of making every night with him in the hospital special. But this, this moment that we were sharing, was something that could never be replaced.
Jackson’s lips reconnected with mine and I smiled in our kiss. I easily moved up and down, setting a pace for us as Jackson’s fingers dug into my hips. My forehead rested against his as my mouth fell open. Our breathing got heavier as I picked up speed, water sloshing all around us.
“Madeline, I love you,” Jackson groaned as he looked into my eyes.
“I love you too, Jackson,” I said breathlessly.
I gently tugged on Jackson’s hair as I felt my release about to barrel into me. We both moaned loudly as we let our orgasms take over. My eyes didn’t leave Jackson’s as pleasure raced through our veins and took over our bodies. When I had control over my body again, I let out a content sigh as I gently leaned my chest against Jackson’s.
“Can it get any more amazing with you?” I asked softly, my hand smoothing out Jackson’s hair that I had been messing with during our tryst.
“I don’t know, you make it pretty amazin’ baby,” Jackson grinned and kissed me gently.
I hugged him, being mindful of his gunshot wound, “Let’s head to bed. People are not lying when they say that you tend to be more tired when you are pregnant.”
Jackson shook his head and laughed, “Or it could be that orgasm that I just gave you.”
“Jackson Ryder!” I scolded playfully.
He spotted me as I stood up slowly and climbed out of the water. As I wrapped a towel around my body, Jackson unplugged the drain and got out to stand beside me, putting a towel around his waist. We went into the bedroom where Jackson put on a pair of boxers and I put on a pair of sleeping shorts and a tank top. Crawling into bed, I took my place against Jackson’s non-injured side and gave him a good night kiss. It was easy to fall asleep now that Jackson was right beside me. After two weeks of missing out on this, you never really knew how much you took it for granted.
My eyes opened lazily as I reached across the bed for Jackson. I must have rolled over in my sleep, so I wanted to snuggle back up beside my husband. When his spot was empty, I sat up quickly. The bathroom light wasn’t on so that meant that Jackson wasn’t in there. I saw the light shining under our closed bedroom door from the living room. My brow furrowed as I climbed out of bed and walked to the door. I opened it slowly and peeked out, letting my eyes adjust to the light. Jackson was sitting on the couch, looking at his phone. Once he sniffled, I knew something was wrong. Jackson was a very strong man and it took a lot to make him emotional. I slipped out into the living room.
“You can’t sleep? Do you want me to make you some tea or something?” I asked, walking over to sit next to him on the couch.
“No, it’s okay,” Jackson sighed quietly.
“Then what’s going on, Jack? Usually you sleep like a log.”
He showed me his phone and a picture of him as a baby with his mother was open on his screen. I knew that Jackson had a folder on his phone of pictures of his mother. I also knew that when something was bothering him, he looked at those pictures.
“I am so happy that we are goin’ to have a baby, Mad. But it also makes me sad that my mother won’t get to meet the baby. She doesn’t get to see the wonderful woman that I married, she won’t get to be there for the birth of our first child and of the future children we will have. You don’t really think about all the moments that someone will miss when they pass away until you experience those moments yourself,” he sighed and locked his phone.
“She probably wouldn’t have liked the fact that I was the reason you got shot and almost died,” I whispered.
Jackson looked at me and narrowed his eyes, “I was protectin’ you. I was doin’ what needed to be done.”
“You know she is watching over you, Jackson. Even if she isn’t here, she knows the man that you have become. She knows all about Josie and myself and our future baby. She may not be physically here, but she is always going to be around for you.”
“I—I had a dream about her. That’s why I couldn’t fall back asleep…”
“And what happened in this dream?” I put my arm around his shoulders as my other hand ran up and down his arm.
“She told me she was proud of me. Proud of the man that I am. She said that she brought you to me when I needed someone the most. That she helped to give us this baby because it was something that I needed…that we needed. We have each other but we have so much more love to give—God, Madeline, it felt so real…like she was right there with me again.”
“I know this is going to sound crazy, but there are these things called visitations. It’s a dream where the loved ones that you lost can visit you and be there for you when you really need them.”
“Visitations? I’ve never believed in that stuff though.”
“Have you ever had one before today?”
“No. When my mom passed away, I never dreamt about her. Shelby said she did at least once a week until it trickled off. But, it never happened to me.”
“Maybe your mother was saving it for when you really needed it. Sure, she could have popped up in your dreams and said break up with Josie or talked you out of other bad decisions. But you wouldn’t learn any lessons that way, your mom knew you better than anyone in the world and she knew that this was the moment that you needed your visit.”
“In the eight months that I
have known you, you have yet to be wrong. So, maybe you are right about this,” Jackson smiled slightly and took my hand in his, lacing our fingers together.
“So, is your mother’s visit what has you so sad?”
“That was part of it.”
“And what’s the other?” I encouraged.
“What if I’m not a good dad?” Jackson looked down at our hands.
My eyebrows pulled tightly together in confusion, “What are you talking about? You’ll be a great father.”
“You know I have a temper, Mad. I wasn’t the best person after my mother died. I changed after we lost her. I’ve made more bad decisions than I can count, I’ve started more fights than I’d like to admit…”
“But you have also learned to control that temper. You don’t take it out on those that you love. You’ve never taken it out on me and you won’t take it out on our child. And we all make bad decisions, but you’ve also made some great decisions as well. For instance, you chose me…I’d say that was a pretty good decision.”
Jackson chuckled, “It was the best decision of my life.”
I nodded, “It better be. As much as you put yourself down, Jackson…you’ve got many more redeeming qualities. And if you think for a second that I am going to let you be a bad father, you’ve got another thing coming.”
His gaze returned to my face, “Thank you. I really needed to talk about this and to hear that.”
“You want to hear how I’ll kick your ass if you start being a bad father?” I teased.
He smirked, “I got it.”
I rested my head against his upper arm, “Next time you’ll wake me up when something bothers you, right? I want to be there for you…talk you down from the ledge so to speak.”
“Definitely, next time I will wake you up.”
“Good…but all this talk about your mother has got me thinking.”
“About what?”
I took a deep breath and pursed my lips, “If we have a girl…we should name her Lydia, after your mother.”
Jackson quickly looked down at me as I heard his breath catch in his throat, “You’d do that for me?”