by A. Aubry
The wait was agonizing, but the second that I saw Jackson walk back into my room, which was now lighter than it was before thanks to one of the nurses turning on the lights, my heart fluttered in my chest as I took in the pink bundle that he was cradling in his arms. He slowly walked over to me, whispering softly to our daughter, a large smile on his face as he adjusted a hat that was placed on her head. His eyes met mine and he grinned so wide that I almost had to ask if his cheeks hurt.
“You ready to meet your daughter officially, mommy?” He smiled.
I nodded excitedly, “I’m more than ready, daddy.”
He eased her into my arms, small grunts coming from our daughter who was adjusting to the change. Immediately tears welled up once again as I took in every part of her. Jackson wasn’t lying when he said there were a lot of similarities between me and Lydia. I leaned down and pressed my lips to her forehead, earning another grunt from our daughter who was trying to sleep.
“I love you, Lydia. Mommy loves you very much,” I quietly cooed to her.
Jackson just stood there, grinning at us, “The nurses were tryin’ to finish the paperwork for her birth certificate. I know we discussed middle names and things like that, but we were still goin’ back and forth with two.”
I turned my attention back to him, “Lydia Brielle Ryder. That’s going to be her name.”
“Perfect,” he sat on the edge of my bed and kissed me softly.
“I’m so happy that she is here and that she’s okay. We finally started our family that we wanted,” I smiled shyly and reached one hand out to him, placing it on his cheek.
His face turned into my touch, “I’m happy that you both are okay. I was so scared that I was goin’ to lose you.”
I felt terrible about how worried he must have been. One minute I was delivering our baby, the next I was passed out and being rushed into surgery due to blood loss. It brought me back to when he was hospitalized after Tony had shot him. How terrified I was that I lost him, how worried I was until I knew that he was going to be alright. So many memories flooded back of sleeping at his hospital bedside up until he had gotten released from the hospital. Hopefully this wouldn’t be as long as that was, I wanted to take Lydia home and start to get things back to normal.
“Jack…I’m so sorry for scaring you like that. I’m sorry that you were scared at a time that should have been nothing but joy. I love you more than anything, I hope that you can forgive me.”
“Madeline, there is nothin’ to forgive you for. What happened could not have been predicted and I’m just so happy that my wife and my daughter are both here with me. I love you so much, Mad. I can’t wait to get out of here with Lydia and start our life as a family of three.”
Cradling Lydia in one arm, I hugged Jackson with my other, placing several soft kisses on his lips, one right after the other. Even though I had a medical scare, this was one of the happiest days of my life. I had a husband who loved me and a beautiful baby girl that was the most precious gift I had ever received. Our future was out there within our reach and I couldn’t wait to see how it was going to pan out.
Chapter Twenty-Three
As much as I loved my daughter, when she would cry in the middle of night, it drove me crazy. I had gotten next to no sleep for the past month because my daughter refused to sleep through the night. That, and her stomach wasn’t allowing her to drink breastmilk, so she had to drink formula. According to Dr. Oliver, this was normal, but at the same time I felt like I was letting her down.
So here we were, getting the first few hours of real sleep that we have gotten in the last month, and cue Lydia’s cries through the baby monitor. I huffed and rolled over, the blankets on our bed ready to be torn from my body. Jackson’s hand grabbed onto me to make sure that I stayed in bed and his lips touched my shoulder.
“Stay in bed, darlin’. I’ve got Lydia,” he whispered.
Before I could object, Jackson was up and out of bed. He was my saving grace in all of this. Whenever I needed a nap during the day, he wouldn’t object or try to talk me out of it. Thank god for men like Jackson Ryder. My eyes closed and as soon as Lydia was in her father’s arms, her crying ceased. When sleep finally pulled me under, I knew I had to do something special for Jackson to make up for all of the late nights that he offered to pull for us.
By the time that I woke up, the sun was up, and Lydia was just starting to cry again. Jackson was passed out beside me and I finally felt well rested for the first time since Lydia was born. Sneaking out of bed, I turned off the baby monitor that was on our nightstand and went to get my daughter out of her crib. After a quick diaper change, I went down into our kitchen and fed her a bottle. Once she was burped, I put her in a bassinet that we had downstairs after I pulled it into the kitchen. It was time to get my surprise ready for Jackson.
As Lydia decided to take a little nap, I began to chop up all of Jackson’s favorite additions to his omelets. He had been making me breakfast in bed nearly every day since Lydia was born and I felt that now it was my turn to do something for him. The bacon was frying in one pan, the bread was in the toaster, and his omelet was cooking in another pan. Lydia grunted in her sleep and the small sound made me smile. While I was in fact sleep deprived from the last month of having a newborn, I loved my baby girl with all my heart. Her features were an even mashup of her father and myself. I may have been biased because she was my daughter, but she was the cutest baby in the whole world.
Just as I finished plating Jackson’s breakfast, Lydia’s eyes popped open and a wide toothless smile showed off her little dimples.
“Did you have a nice nap, my beautiful girl?” I grinned as I eased her up out of her bassinet and held her against my front.
Her little head rested against my chest and I picked up Jackson’s plate before placing a soft kiss on the top of her head, “Let’s go take daddy his breakfast.”
Lydia gave an agreeable gurgle and we made our way up to mine and Jackson’s bedroom. When I crossed the threshold, Jackson was still fast asleep in bed. He was such an amazing husband and father, getting up late with Lydia when I was running on fumes. Now I was really proud of doing something special for him, because of all the wonderful things he had been doing for me since Lydia was born.
I set his plate on his bedside table and sat on the small space between him and the edge of the bed. Bringing my hand up, I softly brushed his hair from his eyes. He had neglected getting it cut for at least a month before Lydia was born, so it was much shaggier than he was used to. I held Lydia tight against my chest as I finally leaned down and kissed his lips gently. His eyes opened and a slow, sexy smile spread on his lips.
“It’s my two favorite girls here to wake me up.” He sat up and gave me one of my favorite slow, passionate kisses.
Lydia cooed in my arms and we broke apart. Without a second thought, Jackson took her from my arms and cradled her. He kissed her forehead and quietly spoke to her. It was one of my favorite things, watching him interact with her. When his eyes met mine, his shy smile greeted me. I must have been staring at them again…and it wasn’t the first time.
I picked his plate up from the bedside table, “Lydia and I made you breakfast.”
His eyes lit up, “You didn’t have to do that, baby.”
“You’ve been doing so much for the both of us since she was born…I wanted to do something nice for you,” I responded quietly as I held it out to him.
We swapped the baby and the plate. Coming around the bed, I reclined on my side and laid Lydia on my chest. Her head was turned so that she was watching her daddy and I pressed a light kiss against her silky-smooth dusting of hair. My hand began to run up and down her back and my eyes turned to look at Jackson. He sat back against the headboard, chewing a bite of his breakfast, his eyes fixated on our daughter and myself.
“What are you staring at, Jack? Did she spit up on me?”
He chuckled and shook his head as he swallowed his food, “No, Mad. I just love lookin’
at the two of you. My gorgeous wife and my beautiful daughter.”
My cheeks burned and I smiled, “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“So, what are your plans for the day?” I asked as Lydia grunted, and her little hand reached out to her side.
Jackson smiled and took her little hand in his, “I’m doin’ whatever you two are doin’.”
“Well, I’m just going to make a few last-minute additions to my book before it’s officially finished and send it off to my publisher. But tonight, I was hoping that maybe you and I could have a date night?”
I watched as Jackson finished chewing another bite of his breakfast and swallowed, “I can hang out with Lydia while you get your work done, and I think a date night sounds amazin’.”
My fingers smoothed Lydia’s hair down, “What do you think, Lyd? Would you like auntie Alex and uncle Owen to watch you while daddy and mommy spend some quality time together?”
Lydia moved her legs a little and gurgled, Jackson chuckled and lightly shook her hand and I knew that she was smiling at him, “I think she approves, Mad.”
“Perfect. I’ll let Alex know that we are going to go tonight.”
“She already knew that this was a possibility?” He smiled at me as he cleaned his plate with his last piece of toast and popped it into his mouth.
“Yeah, I told her I was planning something for us to do hopefully and she volunteered as babysitter if needed. Lydia has everyone, and their moms, wrapped around her little finger,” I kissed the top of her head, smiling at the softness of her hair.
Jackson set his empty plate on the bedside table before lying beside me and Lydia to face us, “She gets that from her beautiful mother.”
I raised an eyebrow at him, “Oh, really? And who is it that I have wrapped around my finger?”
“I have been since the day I met you,” Jackson admitted as his hand covered mine on Lydia’s back.
“As I have always told you, it goes both ways. I have been wrapped around your finger since I met you.”
“Then we really do make a great team.”
I smiled and leaned into Jackson, puckering my lips slightly, “Yes, we do.”
He kissed my lips softly and the sound of Lydia passing gas told us that she was readying to make one smelly diaper. I giggled and pulled back from Jackson.
“So, you gonna get that?” Jackson asked.
I shook my head and handed Lydia over to him, “Nope, that is all you.”
Before he could hand her back to me, I jumped out of bed and ran out of the room laughing. Making my way into my in-home office, I sat down at my desk and let my computer load. All I had to do was adjust my acknowledgments page and my dedication page because now I had my daughter to thank for being a part of mine and Jackson’s world. She was the product of true love, and she was going to be reminded of that for the rest of her life.
“Where is it that you’re takin’ me exactly, Madeline?” Jackson questioned as I led him through the streets of downtown Saint Paul.
It wasn’t my fault that we had to park several blocks away from our official destination. Then again, I really should have considered how busy it would actually be on a Friday night.
“It’s just a little further, Jack. Don’t you trust me?” I teased as I looked up at him.
He gave my hand a gentle squeeze, “Of course I trust you.”
I smiled, leading him to round the corner. The moment that we did, festive music filled the air as well as a multitude of amazing smells. Every year, Saint Paul hosted a European Christmas Market that was similar to the Christkindlmarkts that were spread throughout Europe. Jackson and I had always talked about traveling to Europe together ever since we had gotten serious, which was pretty early on in our relationship. But when his season was on hiatus the first year, we got married and traveled to Mexico to stay warm for our honeymoon. Then this year, we welcomed Lydia into the world. So, since it looked like our European travel dreams would be put on hold for a little while, a trip to a European Christmas Market here seemed like the next best thing.
“Welcome to a traditional European Christmas market, Jackson. You said you’ve never been to one and I figured it was the perfect thing for our first date night out since Lydia was born.”
Jackson’s face lit up as he quickly pulled me into his arms and planted a hard kiss against my lips. With Jackson, it never took much to impress him and to get this reaction, and I think that was because I actually listened to what he had to say about things and I always tried to incorporate things into our lives that I knew he liked. When I had mentioned that I went to a Christkindlmarkt in Chicago back when I was in college with my friends, he had said that he had always wanted to visit one. After a ton of research, I found out that they had a little one in Saint Paul and I knew that it would make him happy. It was already getting cold out since it was early December, so it wasn’t exactly something we could take our baby out to, but it was something for just the two of us.
“This is the best date that you have ever planned for us,” he finally replied when our lips parted.
“I’m happy that you like it,” I grinned.
We took hands once again and crossed the street, immediately being immersed in small stands of places selling authentic handcrafted Christmas themed items. While it was crowded in the small blocks that held the market, it gave me an excuse to get closer to Jackson. At one point, his hand released mine before his arm came around my shoulders to hug me in close to him as we walked. My arm circled around his waist as he led me from stand to stand.
When we came upon a stand selling intricate ornaments, my attention was immediately caught. The Christmas tree that Jackson and I would be putting up in the next few days was awfully bare last year. We had the few ornaments that we had from our individual Christmas trees, but nothing that we had officially bought together. We were busy planning a wedding last December after all. My fingers brushed over one that held a small baby in a manger with the words ‘First Christmas’ written above it. I found it perfect for Lydia who would be celebrating her first Christmas this year. Even though she wouldn’t remember it, that didn’t mean I didn’t want to make it memorable for Jackson and myself.
I picked it up, along with a few other ornaments and handed them over to the woman behind the small register. Fishing out some money, I handed it to her before she carefully wrapped each one in tissue paper and placed them in a bag. Jackson had wandered off to a stall a few feet away from where I was hung up on ornaments, but it looked as though he was paying for something too. We met up several moments later, each with our own little plastic bags.
“What did you get?” He gestured to my bag.
“I got us some ornaments for our tree this year. It looked a little sad and empty last year,” I smiled before pointing to his bag, “What about you?”
“I got a Christmas present for Shelby and Janette. They are obsessed with candles and they had some good ones over there. But, I also got you a Christmas present too.”
“I thought we weren’t exchanging gifts this year,” I raised an eyebrow.
Jackson chuckled, “I guess I like to break the rules.”
Smiling, I slid back under his arm and into his side, “You always were a rulebreaker. First the no-dating rule in your divorce settlement with Josie, now buying me a Christmas present when I said not to…what in the world could be next?”
“You’ll just have to wait and see. Besides, I already know you’re hidin’ somethin’ for me at the house.”
Damn it, it was very difficult to hide anything from this man. At least he didn’t know exactly where his present was hidden. I thought that maybe I could get away with writing that it was from Lydia, but apparently, I was already found out.
“Well, you married a rulebreaker too,” I offered.
He smiled and kissed the side of my head as we continued our journey.
We made a stop at a stall that was selling hot chocolate and Christmas cookies. Ja
ckson ended up buying a whole tin of cookies because, let’s be honest, he had a terrible sweet tooth. Small tables and chairs were set up across from the stall in a vacant space, lanterns in the middle of each table to provide light for those taking a seat. A few tables were already taken, but it was easy for us to find an empty one and sit down. The heat of the hot chocolate felt amazing as it warmed up my body. No matter how many layers I wore, it was like the cold could pierce right through whatever you were wearing and into your bones.
Jackson pursed his lips, his telltale that he was thinking about something. He had been a little agitated lately, but I had chalked it up to the lack of sleep that we had both been getting. Come to think of it, he had been spending a lot more time in his own home office on work phone calls than he was at this time last year. Was there something wrong with his contract for the next season?
I reached over and put my gloved hand over his, “Jack, what’s going on?”
His eyebrows furrowed as he looked away from his hot chocolate and back at me, “What’re you talkin’ about, Madeline?”
“You’ve been a little on edge lately. Sure, we both haven’t been getting a lot of sleep because Lydia is the most anti-sleep baby that I have ever met. But there’s something else…”
He sighed as he turned his hand over beneath mine and laced our fingers together, “It’s work.”
I knew it. “Is something wrong with your contract?”
“No, my contract is good. But…”
He just let the word hang in the air, an ominous feeling given to it.
“But?”
“I know you love it here, Madeline. Your parents are within a couple hour drive, your best friend is here, all of your friends are here…”
“Jackson, what are you getting at? You’re making me worry.”
He paused and pursed his lips once more. This was more serious than I thought.
When he didn’t reply within a minute, I felt the need to speak again, “Honey, we can work through whatever this is about. Forget about my parents being close by, forget about my friends. Just please tell me what is going on…”