“Hey, Dale. You need any help?” Cami calls from down a hallway.
I lift my head and look around, and then I spot her. “Hi. Yeah, I think I’m lost. Do you know where that is?”
She looks at my piece of paper and then gives me directions. “Should we meet for lunch later?”
I shake my head. “No. I have to get my student ID during my lunch break, but we could meet in the afternoon if you’re not busy then.”
“Tonight would be better. I need to get my ass to the library this afternoon. How about I drop by at your place around seven?” She smiles.
“Great. See you tonight.”
“The red suits you, by the way.”
The compliment makes my cheeks as red as my hair has recently become. I felt I needed a change in my appearance, and dyeing my hair seemed to be the least extreme change I could think of. I also bought myself some new clothes, more up-to-date ones. Really, I’m just taking pains not to stand out in the midst of all the college students.
I follow her directions and finally find lecture hall D420. I take a seat at the edge of a back row, feeling too shy to be near people again. Then I take out a notebook and the course textbook.
Somebody sits down next to me. Two somebodies, actually. One is a young woman with light brown hair that curls naturally, the other a young man with blond hair. I study both of them shyly.
When they notice my scrutiny, they look at me. “Is there anything wrong? Why are you staring like that?” the girl asks.
I look away. “I’m sorry, I … It’s my first day, and I just wanted to see who’s sitting next to me,” I answer sheepishly.
“Oh, okay. My name’s Kelsey. What’s yours?”
“Dahlia,” I answer softly.
“Nice to meet you. The Hulk next to me is Sky, by the way,” she introduces her friend.
“Hi,” I say, attempting a smile.
“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen,” the sonorous, rather friendly voice of the instructor interrupts us and resounds through the lecture hall. “Please suspend your conversations and listen to me.” I turn to the front and try to focus.
“Are you a transfer?” Kelsey inquires in a low voice.
“Nope, I’m only starting now,” I answer.
“In the middle of the semester?” she asks.
I nod. “I couldn’t start earlier. I applied too late, had some family issues.”
“Oh.” She smiles. “If it helps, you can copy the notes I’ve been taking. But I've got to warn you, it’s a shitload of material.”
“That would be great. Thank you, Kelsey,” I whisper, hoping the professor can’t hear our continued conversation.
Then we finally concentrate on the lecture.
***
I decide to be honest from the start this time. Kelsey, Sky, and I are sitting together during our lunch break, after we found out that our schedules are identical. They saved a seat for me while I went to fetch my student ID. The table is empty except for us.
“So where are you from, Dahlia?” Sky asks.
“I’m from Miami. Liberty City, to be precise, and before that I lived in Orlando.”
They both look at me with shocked expressions. “No kidding,” Kelsey says flatly.
“I’m not kidding. I grew up there, but now I’m living in an apartment close to campus,” I answer.
“Awful neighborhood. How did you get out of there?” Kelsey asks.
“You won’t judge me if I tell you my story, will you?” I ask, feeling insecure again.
“Why should we? We just met you, and you probably didn’t choose to grow up in that place,” Sky answers.
“I don’t know. My ex-boyfriend judged me for it,” I say with a shrug. Then I start telling them my whole story. After they promise me they’ll keep it to themselves, I tell them everything. It’s my past, and yes, I feel ashamed for it, but they’re right insofar as I didn’t choose to grow up in Liberty City, and I didn’t choose the life I’ve lived so far.
When I’m done, they look at me with doubtful expressions. “That is an awful story,” Kelsey says.
“Well, it’s mine, and though I feel ashamed, I know I wasn’t the one making all those bad decisions, but my mom,” I reply.
They nod slowly.
“It’s great that you’re starting to create your own life,” Sky says and smiles at me.
“I bet you’re not going to sit with me tomorrow,” I joke.
“And why wouldn’t we?” they ask in unison.
“Almost everyone I met has turned away from me after I tell them about my life. I’m getting pessimistic,” I tell them frankly.
Sky glances at his cell then. “I think we have to go. The next lecture is about to start already.”
As we leave the table, I hear a young woman’s laughing voice say, “You’re such a tease, Avery.” I immediately turn and spot him. It transports me back to his birthday party and his scathing words, but right now he looks amused.
“What’s wrong, Dahlia?” Kelsey wants to know.
“I just saw my ex-boyfriend,” I answer in a low voice. Then I clear my throat. “I should just … leave, and pretend I didn’t see him.”
She takes me by the arm.
Kelsey distracts me with stupid jokes, and we walk out of the cafeteria. Just when we try to pass him unnoticed, Avery turns and looks at me. His jaw drops when he sees me.
Looks like he didn’t think I would show up and pursue my education, I think.
“Just keep walking,” Kelsey whispers to me.
And that is what I do. My feet carry me forward without needing my brain to tell them to. I see Pearl standing with Avery. Obviously, they’re at least friends again. “I’m going to be sick,” I murmur.
“Why?” Sky asks. He’s walking on the other side of me.
“Because this bitch Pearl, the one who told him about my past, is standing with him. She was his girlfriend before he met me, and … Oh, crap!” I whine.
“Just forget it. That guy’s not good enough for you,” Sky says.
I nod slowly as we walk down the stairs.
“Dale? Dale!” someone calls after me.
Of course I throw a glance over my shoulder.
Avery is running toward me.
“I guess I should find out what he wants,” I tell Kelsey and Sky before I turn around and walk toward him.
“Hey,” he says as he reaches me.
“Hello, Avery,” I answer flatly. “What do you want?”
My heart is hammering in my chest. Is he going to insult me again, or does he want to tell me to stay away from him? Or that he hates me?
He takes another step toward me and touches a strand of my newly red hair. Now I have to tilt my head back to look at him, but I refuse to do that. Instead, I take a step backward. “You look great,” he says.
“And that’s what you chased me down to say?” I ask, irritation mounting in my voice.
“No,” he says, shaking his head. “I wanted to tell you that there’s nothing going on between Pearl and me. You looked so hurt when our eyes met … I worried that you’d misconstrued the situation.”
I raise an eyebrow. “I don’t care what is going on between you and anyone else, Avery. You were the one who hurt me, and it still hurts that you called me a ‘crack whore,’ but I’m going to survive.”
“I’m sorry, Dale. I was just so disappointed—and drunk.”
I shake my head in disbelief. “And that’s supposed to set things right?”
“No. I just wanted to tell you that I didn’t mean it, and I’d like to get together to talk about it,” Avery says.
Still shaking my head, I say, “Goodbye, Avery.” With that, I turn around and walk back to Kelsey and Sky.
“So that’s it?” Avery says.
I look over my shoulder. “I guess so, otherwise you wouldn’t have ended it that day.”
He hasn’t called me in three months, and now he suddenly wants to meet. Something is extremely fishy. I
bet it’s another attempt to hurt me, and I won’t allow that. It took me weeks to stop crying over him.
Kelsey, Sky, and I walk back to the lecture halls for our next class. I spend the ninety minutes lost in thought instead of listening.
Why did he have to talk to me on my very first day here?
***
I walk home slowly, still brooding. I feel exhausted by the last two lectures, especially because my thoughts about Avery were interfering with my focus the whole time.
Tomorrow, I’m going to meet Kelsey and Sky before our first class. I’m glad to have found two fellow students I get along with, and on the first day. They're going to distract me from the whole Avery disaster, at least that’s what I hope. They said they’d give me their notes this weekend, and that should help me make up for the missed lectures and get on track. At the end of the semester, I’ll have to sit all the exams, both the finals and the ones I missed.
“Hey,” somebody suddenly calls from behind me.
I recognize the voice immediately.
“Why don’t you leave me alone?” I say.
“I can’t,” Avery says. “I saw you, and all the feelings were back immediately.”
I stop and look up at him. “That’s weird, considering you're with Pearl again.”
He shakes his head. “No. I’m single, and I have been ever since we … ” He sighs. “I’d really like to sit down and talk about this, Dale.”
“You hurt me in a way nobody ever has before,” I state, struggling to sound strong even though I feel like crying. “I have to go home. I’m busy.”
“Meeting that blond guy from lunch?” he asks jealously.
“If that was the case, it would be none of your business.” I turn away and intend to walk on, but he grabs my hand.
“Don’t leave me like this,” he pleads.
I take my hand away. “Why not? You called me a crack whore and humiliated me in front of all your friends! I had intended to tell you that very day, but Cami advised me to wait until the day after, so I wouldn’t ruin your party. Do you understand? I wanted to talk to you about it, but you sent me away. You broke up with me, and in a really shitty way.”
His shoulders sag, and he lowers his eyes. “I was drunk. No, that’s not supposed to be an excuse, but can you imagine how awful it felt to hear the story from my stupid ex? I felt like a fool. It was shitty what I did to you, but damn, Dale, don’t you see that you hurt me, too? I thought you trusted me and knew I would never judge you for who your mother was.”
“At that party, you did judge me for her.”
“Because I was hurt, angry, and shocked. I spoke without thinking, and I’ve felt ashamed of it every day since then.”
“You could have called to apologize. You could have dropped by, but you didn’t. You didn’t do anything. You simply got rid of me before I could become too much of a burden.”
“I never saw you as a burden!” he barks at me.
I look around. Several students, who were minding their own business a minute ago, are now staring at us and listening to the argument. I suddenly feel awkward. “You broke my heart, Avery, and therefore … I’m not going to waste any more time with you,” I say in a low voice. “Farewell.” Then I turn around and start to walk home.
“I feel so much for you! I think I love you, Dale,” he calls after me. “I finally know that now!”
I don’t react. It can’t be true. Too much time has elapsed, so I can’t imagine that he suddenly loves me.
Maybe he thinks he has fallen in love anew, but that’s going to pass as soon as he finds some other distraction. My heart bleeds as I walk on, ignoring everything around me and singing a song in my head to keep from crying.
Thankfully, Avery doesn’t follow me any farther. I wouldn’t know what to do if he did. The nerve! Three months later and he suddenly addresses me, thinking I’ve forgotten what happened? This is a bunch of bullshit.
***
“He did what?” Cami asks for the umpteenth time.
“I won’t tell you a sixth time,” I reply.
“I don’t believe it. First he breaks up with you, and then three months later he confesses his love for you? That is so unlike him, and here he never said a word about what he feels. He and Delsin study together, but he doesn’t talk. Next time I see him I'm going to give him a piece of my mind. He’s such an idiot!”
I take a sip from my Coke. “Don’t do that. I don’t want you to fight because of me, and I just don’t want to see him again.”
“And that’s why you never came to our house,” she states.
“Exactly. Let him be happy with his Pearl, and let me get my education straight without him bothering me.”
“I think you caught each other off guard today, and Avery confessed his love for you because he didn’t know what else to say,” Cami says. “You have to admit that you both seem rather swamped with the whole situation.”
I lean back with a sigh. “I really am swamped, and I don’t want to see him anymore because I didn’t think it would still hurt so bad.”
“But that’s normal. When Delsin and I went through our crisis—as I like to call it—it was awful to see him. Every time, I thought someone was stabbing me in the heart,” Cami says. She thinks for a moment, then says, “You know what we should do to distract you? We should go out.”
“I can’t go to a club, I’m still too young,” I answer.
“But we know the bouncer of the Heat club, and he’ll let you in.” She grins mischievously.
I sigh. “When?”
“Now. Get ready.” Cami gets up and rushes into my bedroom.
I follow her. “I don’t feel like partying tonight.”
“No objections. We’re going out. Now.”
“No, Cami, seriously. Let’s do it this weekend.” I don’t want to leave the house and risk running into Avery again. I haven’t even visited Trudy in a long time, fearing he might be there as well. I do keep in touch with Thierry, and he’s been there for me the whole time. We get together from time to time.
Cami closes the door of my closet, which she had thrown open in order to look for something to wear to the club. “Okay, but promise me we’ll go out Friday. I’ll call Hailey and Thally so we can make it a girls’ night out.”
“Can I maybe ask Kelsey as well?”
Cami nods with a smile. “Sure. The more the merrier.”
“I hope she’ll come.”
Then we return to the living room, and I look at the wall clock. It’s after ten. “Is it okay if I kick you out now? I have to get up really early tomorrow, and I’m tired,” I say apologetically.
“No, that’s okay. We’ll probably run into each other on campus, otherwise I’ll pick you up around nine Friday night.”
“But let’s talk on the phone before that, okay?”
“Sure,” Cami answers as I walk her to the door. We say goodbye with a hug.
When she’s gone I lock the door and take a shower. I feel exhausted and try to wash away the events of the day, but of course that does not work.
Whenever I close my eyes, Avery’s face appears. I miss him, but I can’t forgive him for what he did to me.
Afterward, I put on an extra big T-shirt and go to bed. I find myself once again wishing for a rewind button for my life again. I try to fall asleep, but for a long time, I lie miserably awake.
Chapter 14
Because Delsin decides to join our girls’ night out, I also invite Sky and Thierry to come along. Some of us meet at the door of the Heat club, and Kurt, the really handsome bouncer, ushers us in the moment he spots Delsin. Avery isn’t with them—they didn’t tell him we're going out. I don’t feel comfortable with this secrecy, but I don’t tell anyone because I have to admit I’m thankful they aren’t forcing me to spend time around him. Once inside the club, my cell phone vibrates in my pocket. I take it out, and there’s a text from Thierry.
Hey, darling! Avery is wasted, can’t make it today. Some other tim
e? T.
Great, now my dancing partner can’t come because his brother got drunk, I think, feeling irritated, but then I type an answer:
It’s okay. Hope he’ll be okay. Definitely some other time. Bye, D.
My foot taps the floor in time with the music while I let my eyes roam the place. I’d really like to dance now, to distract myself.
“What’s up with you? You look a bit moony,” Sky says.
“I don’t think I really like this place,” I say. “I prefer fewer people and less noise.”
“Want to take a walk? I don’t like this type of music either—and this type of people even less.”
“That would definitely be better than standing around.” I smile and take the hand he offers me.
Without telling the others, we leave Heat and walk in the direction of the beach.
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re really cute?” Sky suddenly asks.
God, if he goes on like this, it’s going to be a damn awkward night. “Uh, yeah, someone told me that, but you’re both wrong,” I reply. “I’m not cute, and I don’t want to be.”
“Seriously, Dale, you’ve got something about you that attracts men,” he says. “When you entered the club, all eyes were on you.”
I roll my eyes. “Sure, I bet,” I say with a sarcastic smile on my face.
***
As we’re sitting together on the beach, the moon provides the only light, making the surface of the ocean sparkle. It’s chilly, but that comes as no surprise, because it’s already November. I’m only wearing a thin coat, because I didn’t expect to end up on the beach tonight.
“This Avery guy … Do you have feelings for him?” Sky asks.
I cringe. Avery is the last person I want to talk about right now. “I did have deep feelings for him. We were together for a few weeks, but it’s over.”
“And now you don’t feel anything anymore?” he prods.
“Why are you so interested?”
He looks at me. “I’m interested in you, Dale, and I’m curious to know whether anyone already owns your heart before I start hoping you could be interested in me, too.”
Avery: Sensual Desire: New Adult College Romance (Coral Gables Series Book 2) Page 16