“Baby, he’s not going to get you or the children. I swear. I’m doing everything I can to stop that from happening.”
She shoves me off. “You’ve lied to me. You’ve known where he was and you didn’t tell me. I’ve worried about him showing up at any time and all the while, you’ve known he wasn’t even remotely close to us. How could you let me go through that? Why would you let me worry unnecessarily?” Tears pour down her heartbroken face.
I’m crushed. In trying to keep her safe, I’ve hurt her again. God, I’m an idiot. “I’m sorry, Shayla. I’m so sorry.”
“I … I can’t …” She turns and runs from the room. I share a look of worry with Tom and I’m off after her.
“Shayla, please!”
Dylan stands up from the couch where he and Faith are studying. “Dad, what’s going on?”
“A misunderstanding, it’s fine,” I call back to him as I pass by.
Shayla slams our bedroom door shut, then the bathroom. I love her to the depth of my soul, but she’s prone to overreacting, and it drives me crazy sometimes, especially times like this. I step up to the bathroom and gingerly tap on the door.
“Shayla, let me in so I can explain.”
“No! I wasn’t important enough for you to tell me all along, I’m not important to know now.”
“You know that’s not true. You’re everything to me. That’s why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want you to think about that psycho. I wanted to give you a normal life.” I end softer than I started, resting my forehead on the door.
The door opens and I stumble forward slightly. She wraps her arms around my middle, tightly. I hold her to me and kiss her head. “I want to know. I can’t have a normal life until he’s behind bars or dead. I appreciate your attempt to shelter me, but please don’t.”
“Okay, do you want to come to my office? I’ll explain things.” She nods. “What do we tell Dylan?”
She pulls back and looks up at me. “The truth.”
I smile and take her hand as I lead her out of our room and back to the kitchen. Shayla takes a seat next to Tom, who is already at the table with a cup of coffee. I can see Dylan at the front door saying bye to Faith. He glances my way and I motion for him to come over. He nods and turns to Faith, offering her a quick kiss as I get Shayla and me some hot tea.
“Will you put a scoop of collagen in mine?” she asks.
I chuckle slightly and nod. She takes the stuff all the time to support her joints and manage some pain she has in her knees. She says it works great so I believe her, but I’ve yet to give it a try. I set the cup in front of her as Dylan comes into the kitchen.
“What’s going on? You guys aren’t getting a divorce are you?” Dylan asks, running a hand through his hair, the same way I do when I’m upset or nervous.
“No, baby. It’s nothing like that,” Shayla says, wrapping her arm around him.
I clear my throat. “I love your mom so much that I’ve kept something from her, trying to protect her, but it’s hurt her instead.”
He glares at me, much like he used to when we first met. “If you say you’ve been seeing another woman, I will …”
I can’t help the smirk and chuckle that leaves me. I raise my hand to stop him. “No, absolutely not. I’d never do that to either of you.”
“So what is it then?”
“I’ve been tracking Mathis.”
“I know that,” he says confused.
I shake my head. “Yes, you both know that I’ve been looking for him, but what I haven’t said is that I’ve known where he was most of the time and that he is now in the states. We think he’s on his way here.” The color drains from his face. “The last we heard, he was in Delaware,” I say as I squeeze his hand.
“But he could be anywhere now, right? I mean, he’s sneaky. There’s probably places he’s been that you don’t know of, right?” He asks with rising panic.
“Yes, he has a talent for evading us, but he’s getting sloppy. He’s been spotted twice in the past week. It’s only a matter of time before we get him. I don’t want you guys to be worried, but I know it’s inevitable. Just be on the alert, go about your daily routines, and live as normally as you can. I’ll answer any question as honestly as I can.”
Shayla asks, “Where do you think he is now?”
“I don't know, but I’m thinking he might be going to his grandparents’ in Virginia.”
Dylan’s eyes grow wide. “That’s not far from here, is it? I mean, depending on where the house is, he could literally be here in minutes.”
I sigh. It’s the truth. Oak Grove is in the Appalachian Mountains, we’re in the area where Kentucky, West Virginia, and Virginia all meet, but Mathis’ grandparents’ house is closer to Richmond and at least seven hours from here.
“It’s not far, but the house isn’t near us. I have my whole team on this; we’ll do everything in our power to keep you safe. All three of you.” I squeeze both their hands as they sit across the table from Tom and me.
“What’s your part in all this?” Shayla asks her father.
“I’ve used my contacts as Ryan has used his. I don’t have as many nowadays, as I once did, but we’ve been able to gather plenty of useful intel on him. We’ll get this guy.”
“Why don’t we go back to my office? Tom and I can go over the maps and things we have gathered so far. No more secrets,” I say directly to Shayla who nods at me.
Tom and I lead them to my command center where Dylan gasps when he sees how much we actually have. We talk about the places Mathis has been and what it might mean now that he’s in the states. I know they’re nervous, they should be and I am as well, but I swear that I’ll take better care of them this time around. He won’t get my family.
Chapter Nine
Judson
The clanging of the cell door causes my stomach to lurch. I can’t believe I’m sitting in jail for something I didn’t do. The only thing that helps me hold it together right now is that I know Ryan believes me, but if he can’t find more proof that says I’m innocent, that might not matter much. I’m sure a judge isn’t going to care what Ryan has to say, even though he’s the Chief of Police. What matters is the evidence and motive, and I happen to have both.
I lie back on the cot and stare at the ceiling. What did I do to deserve the life I have right now? I’ve lost everything. Every. Single. Thing. Everything I had in this world is gone. Was I such a horrible person that life had to chew me up and spit me out? Is this to teach me a lesson? I grew up in church and the one thing I remember hearing over and over is, ‘you reap what you sow’. I have no clue what I could have sown that would have led to losing my family. My family died! Was it because of me?
“I have some food for you.” I turn to the gruff voice. A tall, overweight officer holds out a tray of food. My stomach turns, but I get up and take the tray from the long narrow slot in the bars.
“Thanks.”
“Yep.” He turns and leaves.
I set the tray on the small chair in the room and lie back on the bed. I’m not hungry. All the thoughts rushing around in my head are making me dizzy and my eyes grow hot with unshed tears. I know I’m feeling sorry for myself, but right now, I don’t care. My life could be over because someone decided to come on my property and kill a man that I can’t stand. I don’t even feel sorry that Ralph is dead. I close my eyes tightly, maybe I do deserve all of this.
I toss and turn all night, and every time I close my eyes, I see the faces of my children and my wife asking me why I killed that man. It makes me start to question whether I did kill him. Was I so drunk that I don’t remember doing such a horrible thing? I don’t want to believe that could be possible, but I can’t help wondering if it is.
Another officer brings me breakfast, and this time I try to eat, but I just can’t. I feel sick and I’m craving alcohol. It’s been over twenty-four hours since I’ve had a drink. I’m sure this is the beginning of withdrawal. I like to tell myself I’m not an alco
holic since I can still work and do everything I need to do from day to day, but the truth is I can only make it through the day when I drink.
“Hardenbergh, boss wants a chat with you.” I look up to the officer. I remember him from yesterday, but not his name. I scan his badge, Anderson. “Stand, turn, and put your hands behind your back, no funny business or I’ll taser you.”
“I’m not going to do anything because I’m not guilty.”
“We’ll see about that.” He puts the handcuffs on me and leads me, none to gently, to Ryan’s office. “I have Mr. Hardenbergh,” he says at the door.
Ryan’s voice comes through it like the Great and Powerful Oz from the book my children enjoyed.
“You can un-cuff him. There are no charges against him at this time.”
I almost don't believe my ears, but when he releases me, and I rub my wrists I know it’s true. He talks to Anderson for a bit as I stare at Ryan with what I can only describe as bewilderment.
“How?” I finally ask.
He waves to the chair, instructing me to sit. “Your DNA wasn’t a match. There’s no trace of Clark anywhere around your property other than where you found him, and aside from the murder weapon being yours, there isn’t anything to link it to recent use.”
“So how’d he get there?” I ask, slouching down in relief.
“I’m not sure. We’re looking into it. What I really need is for you to tell me the names of anyone you know of who might want to frame you for murder.”
I look up to Ryan in complete disbelief. Frame me? I have no clue who’d hate me so much they’d want to do something so evil to get back at me. Ryan asks me a bunch of questions, about Shannon’s family, Grant, people I employ, but no one I know, except for Ralph himself, had anything against me, well, as far as I know anyway. Although, I will say that I did pause a bit when he asked about Grant.
“All right, well, hopefully the DNA will match someone and we can get to the bottom of this. Let me get you something to eat and a coffee while we wait on your paperwork to be processed.”
I nod at him as I continue to think about how everything went down with Grant. I’m still not sure if he was being honest with me about having an affair with Shannon. Would Grant being the biological father of my children, and me knowing that, be enough for him to do something so severe? I doubt it, but Grant’s in with some shady folks. He doesn’t know I know that he has a gambling problem. I noticed it a few years before Shannon and the kids passed, it seemed innocent enough at first, but then he lost his car. He blamed it on an accident, but one of our employees mentioned what a shame it was that Grant had used it to pay a gambling debt. Grant wouldn’t admit it to me, but I knew it was true just by how he reacted to my questions. Then there was the missing money in the bonus account. I never found out what happened to that. Clay looked, but with everything that happened, I just didn’t care anymore. I didn’t mention any of this to Ryan. I don’t see why it would be necessary. I’m only Grant’s business partner right now, and a silent one at that. He has no reason to get back at me. He literally holds my paycheck in his hands. Why would he need to come after me in such an extreme way? If anything, I’m sure he could find ways to avoid giving me my cut of the business. Ryan brings me a coffee and donut then leaves to sign my release papers. I haven’t been this relieved in years. To know that I won’t be spending another night in that cell is the best news I’ve heard. As I’m stuffing the last bite into my mouth, Ryan returns.
“Do you know the names Colby Jack or Richard Lyon?”
Lyon is the guy Grant was messed up with when he lost his car. “I think everyone in Branstville knows Lyon’s name. He owns several night clubs, mostly seedy places from what I’ve heard.”
“Do you have personal ties to him?”
“Uh, no. Not that I know of anyway. I’ve never heard of the other one, other than it’s the name of cheese.”
Ryan chuckles. “What were his parents thinking? All right, well that’s all I have at the moment, but don’t leave the area. If something comes up, please let me know. Here’s my cell and house number. Don’t hesitate to call me if you remember anything else that might help us.”
“Thanks, man. It really means a lot that you believe me.”
And it does. Ryan was one of my best friends growing up and I’m sure if I wasn’t such a mess right now, we’d be just as close. I wish that were the case still.
“Of course I do. You’ve been through a lot in the past few years, but you don’t seem like the type to kill someone. Especially since you didn’t fight back with Ralph until it was absolutely necessary.”
Grimacing, I reply, “Yeah, I’m not sure it is ever necessary, the guy was drunker than I was.”
“Yeah, well, maybe you should lay off the alcohol for a while too.” I just nod, I know he’s right and I plan to. We shake hands and I turn towards the door when he says something again. “Hey, Laney’s out there. I know she’s a pain, but she means well,” Ryan says, stifling a smile.
I’m surprised, but then again not. I can’t help the small smile that creeps up my mouth. It feels good to have someone care about me, even if I don’t deserve it, or her.
“I know. Girl drives me crazy.” I chuckle.
“No doubt. Good luck.”
“Thanks.” I snort, shutting the door behind me.
“Mr. Hardenbergh,” Jessica says. I look up to her.
“Call me Jud. Ryan says I’m free to leave.”
She nods. “You are. I just need you to sign these forms. This is the statement you gave yesterday. You’ll need to read it to be sure it’s accurate and then sign this form.” She pulls out another paper from behind the first. “This just says that you are aware that you and your property are still under investigation, you agree not to leave the area, and that you’ll willingly grant us access to your property if it’s needed.” I sign both, I have nothing to hide. “All right, that’s all.”
“Thanks.” She nods and returns to her desk, and I walk out of the station a free man, well mostly.
“Jud!”
I look up at the sound of her voice. I knew she’d be out here, but I wasn’t prepared for her tired eyes or worried expression. It makes me angry. I don’t deserve her worry.
“What’re you doing here, Alaina?”
“I’m taking you home.”
“No, you’re not.” I brush past her and walk through the parking lot to the sidewalk.
“Yes, I am. You’re exhausted. I can see it all over you and I bet you’re going through withdrawals right now too.”
“It’s none of your business,” I snap.
I keep walking. I hear her feet slapping the pavement as she runs to catch up to me, but I don’t stop. She grabs my arm, but I pull it free from her.
“Jud, please.”
The sound of her begging wrecks me, but I can’t let her in. I can’t risk caring about anyone else. I’ll only lose them in the end. I’m not worth this trouble she’s going through. She grabs my arm again. I jerk away, but this time she stumbles.
“Jud,” I hear her squeak, before I hear the thud of her landing hard on the cement.
I pinch my nose between my eyes, centering myself. I turn around and look down to her. “I’m sorry.” Oh, great she’s crying. I kneel down. “Are you hurt?” She shakes her head no, thankfully. I hold my hand out to help her up. “I’m sorry,” I repeat. She places her small hand in mine and I realize this is the first time I’ve actually initiated any form of contact with another person since the accident. “I’m so sorry.” I pull her up. She wraps her arms around me. I almost shove her away, I know I stink horribly, but I let her hug me.
“Please, let me help you.”
I do push her away now, but only so I can see her face. “Why?”
“I care about you, Jud. I always have.”
“You shouldn’t worry about me. I’m not worth it.” I let her go and just stand there.
She reaches up hesitantly and when I don’t move
she cups my hairy face. The warmth is overwhelming. “You are worth it, I promise you that. You’re a good man who’s been dealt more than he ever deserved. Please don’t shut me out. All I’m asking is for you to let me be your friend.”
“I don’t know if I can give you that.” It’s the truth. I’m not sure if I have what it takes for friendship anymore.
“That’s okay. Let’s just start with letting me give you a ride home so you can shower and change, and then let me take you to the diner for lunch.”
I blow out a breath. “Yeah, okay.”
“Thank you.”
She slips her hand into mine and I follow her back to her car. The drive back to my house is quiet. I’m sure she wants to talk, but she doesn’t ask me anything. When we arrive, I notice that the police tape is still up around my shed and across the path to the pond. I guess I won’t be using it for a while. I head into the bathroom immediately, desperate to clean the stench off of me. Once I’m finished showering and changing, I search for Laney, finding her in the kitchen sipping coffee.
“Want some?” She asks and I nod as she passes me a cup. I sit at the island as she stands leaning against the counter across from me. “You have no food.”
“I know.”
“I poured out the last of the alcohol.” My eyes flash to hers, she raises a brow and with a sigh, I nod. Might as well start now, I guess. “Let’s go get some food. Are you hungry?”
“A little. I had something at the station, but can we go somewhere other than the diner? I’d rather not listen to the whispers of people in town.”
“Sure, what about Luigi's?”
“Yeah, pizza sounds good.”
We’re seated right away and, after a few minutes, we place our order for one large supreme. I think this is the first time I’ve been out with a woman who likes the same type of pie I do. Shannon always wanted some weird healthier combo and the kids only ate pepperoni. We make small talk while we wait. It’s nice, but it would be nicer if I didn’t feel like death warmed over.
Penance (Oak Grove Suspense Book 2) Page 10