by Gabi Moore
“I don’t see how I can help you,” she said.
I briefly wondered if I should ask Nora to leave the room, but thought better of it. She was right. She knew my father at least as well as everyone else sitting at this table.
“You need to testify, mom.”
She laughed cynically and shook her head.
“Right to the point, huh?”
“It’s an emergency situation. Nora could be charged with murder…”
She again looked at Nora then at me.
“And what could you possibly want me to testify? Even if I could?”
“Tell your story, mom.”
“My story? You mean, what happened more than a decade ago?”
I could feel us about to delve into an argument that I had had with my mother dozens of times.
“It’s still happening, mom. A woman is dead.”
She sat back in her seat and crossed her arms. Nora watched on with her giant eyes, trying to figure things out.
“Dead? So, you want it to be me next?” she said coldly. “I washed my hands of your father years ago, you know that. I had to. I don’t know why you think I of all people could do anything about that man. He’s crazy.”
I swallowed hard.
A long time ago, riddled with guilt, I sent my mother far, far away to protect her. There was no question that had I not done it, she would have been dead today. My mother had been a feisty, spirited woman, but my father broke her, and by the time I was able to help, she no longer even wanted justice. She just wanted a quiet life, far away from him and anything that had to do with him. I had sent her money every month for years and she had dropped out of the world, coming here to the mountains to tend her farm and shoot rabbits and forget about the glitzy life she used to live. My mother now existed in a time and place running parallel to everything else. But if I had any hope of defending Nora, and of giving my father what he deserved, I would need the world to hear what my mother knew.
“Mom, things are different now. You actually have a chance. He’s already a suspect in the murder and your testimony could completely swing things and--”
“What did he do to you?” Nora said.
I spun around to see her staring straight at my mother. I didn’t know what to say. For years we both hadn’t dared to even speak out loud the ‘incident’. My mother faltered a little as she tried to find words.
“What did he do? Listen, child, you couldn’t possibly understand what he fucking did, ok.”
“Tell me,” Nora said. She had a fire in her eyes all her own, and my mother seemed a little surprised that a pretty little city thing like her had this much sass.
“Well, quite frankly, to be honest with you--”
“He humiliated you, didn’t he?” Nora said, now leaning across the kitchen table, those juicy breasts of hers falling full over her arms. “He has this way of going so deep, of making you doubt everything you think you know. It’s not enough for him to have full control over you. He wants you to believe that it was all your idea, and after a while you’re not even sure it wasn’t. He uses sex as a weapon. He makes you believe so completely that the things he’s done to you are what you really deserve, that you can’t even imagine asking for help. He twists your world so badly that you start to think that it’s a privilege, to be abused by him. He’s not human. He doesn’t just damage your body, he damages you, your heart, your mind. When he’s done with you, you don’t even know where you end and he begins.”
My mother looked like she was speaking to a ghost, and beside the quiet clucking of chickens outside, everything fell silent as she frowned at Nora.
“So, you know him then,” she said at last. They gazed at one another a moment more, in that way that only women can, in that way that lets you know a great quantity of data is rushing back and forth between them.
“You don’t have to say anything,” Nora said. “You don’t have to stick your neck out, not now after all this time. I don’t know what he did to you, but I can guess. I don’t need to know the details to know that you deserve a life away from all of that. I get it. But…” Here she reached out over the table and gently, carefully took my mother’s hands in hers. My mother, a woman who skinned rabbits in her own backyard abattoir, a woman who chopped her own firewood and could shoot wolves in her veggie patch in the dead of night by sound alone, didn’t flinch and simply allowed her hands to be held.
“But if you do, then he wins. He always wins. It’s time we let him know what it feels like to lose, don’t you think?”
The menacing edge in her voice seemed to bewitch my mother, who was nodding slowly now.
“He’s about to get away with murder. Who knows how far he’ll go. I have a story too, and together with your story, we can make sure he doesn’t get the chance to find out.”
I had stopped breathing. It was astonishing how Nora had my mother eating out of her hand, hanging onto every word like it was a strange new gospel. My mother pulled her hand away and stared at me, then nodded.
“Does he know you’re here?” she said.
I shook my head. “Not yet, at least.”
In fact, I was sure that over the years my father liked to pretend my mother had simply faded away, along with whatever happened when they were married. It was part of the reason I hoped my plan would work.
“Good. You’ll have dinner here, and we’ll plan it all in the morning.”
“No need. I already have someone waiting for you in the city. You go directly to him, take my car, as soon as you can. We have time as long as dad hasn’t caught wind of what’s going on.”
“And what about you two?”
“I’m still figuring that out,” I said quietly. Nora shot me a look.
She stood, paced the kitchen and stared out the window, then laced on an apron.
“The old pickup is full of gas, and there are tons of places all along the A15 you could hide out at.”
I nodded.
“Pretty girl like you have any objections to eating wild rabbit?” she said, turning to Nora.
“As long as it’s gluten free!” Nora said and gave my mom a naughty wink. My mother was charmed.
“Funny girl you’ve got here,” she said to me, then handed Nora a bunch of keys.
“There’s a big bag of corn meal in the storeroom outside” she said. Nora took it, examined it and walked out, but not before throwing me a loaded glance. My mother and I watched as she sauntered outside and to the storeroom, her white hair catching the last afternoon rays of sun and giving her a look that was part albino, part angel.
“She’s not your usual type, is she?”
“Nope, she’s better,” I replied without thinking.
She lifted her eyebrow at me.
I knew how it looked. Playing a knight in shining armor to my father’s girl on the side was a bad look, but I didn’t give a shit. She took a look at my clenched jaw and just smiled.
“You never did like to do the ordinary thing, the expected thing. But I like her. She’s genuine. A bit tarty for my tastes, but oh well, that’s the fashion these days, isn’t it? If you were looking for your old mom’s approval or anything, well, you have it,” she said, and pulled some carrots and onions from a wire basket.
I grinned.
“This is a good thing, mom. Nora’s life is on the line.”
“I’m not doing it for her, I’m doing it for you,” she said, and began chopping. “And I’m not saying I agree to do anything just yet.”
I smiled and got to work helping her dice carrots. The glassy eyes of the rabbits strewn on the table looked on as we worked.
Nora came back inside with a big hessian bag in her hands, which she plonked on the table.
“Did you know the woman? Elizabeth?” my mom said.
Nora shook her head.
“I’ve seen her on the news, though. Before this. She seemed pretty. And nice. And once…”
Here Nora looked at me and paused.
“Once she c
ame to visit me. Outside my house. I brushed it off but she was … she was really scared.”
“She told you she was scared of him?”
“Not exactly. But I could tell something was really wrong.”
“The poor woman” my mother muttered quietly.
For a moment there was only the sound of the knife tapping the wooden chopping board.
“I hate that man,” Nora said.
“Sweetie, nobody hates that man like I hate him, believe me,” my mother said, and they both laughed cynically.
That evening, after dinner, and while my mother was washing up before bed, I sat with my Nora out in the front, on the ramshackle porch with nothing but a few cats and some hoarse wind chimes keeping us company. The night air was deceptively still. Somewhere out there, as we spoke, my father was weaving a net to catch us both. Money lets you play on a different level, or, if you like, it’s let you play a whole different game. Growing up, I saw my father as a kind, smart man. It had taken decades, but all the money and influence had rotted something inside him, and I no longer recognized any of that kindness anymore.
“But why can’t we go back to California with her?” she said. “If her testimony is so damning, what do we have to be worried about?”
She was laying wrapped in my arms, and we both stared out at the inky night in front of us, so depthless it would be easy to believe that anything could be hidden inside it. I squeezed her.
“Can you just trust me on this, Nora?” I said quietly.
“But--”
“We’ll head to a little hole in the wall motel early tomorrow morning, after my guy comes to collect her.”
“And how on earth are we going to pay for that?”
“My mother gave us $5000 cash”
“What? But how--”
“I guess she doesn’t have much need for money out here. The hills have all the rabbits she needs,” I said and squeezed her again.
“And after the motel? Then what?”
I felt her stirring in my arms.
“Then we find another place after that. There’ll be a big trial at some point, but we don’t have to be in the city until that actually happens. When I’m sure she’s contacted my people back home and I know she’s being protected, then we can think about going back. But until then, I’m not willing to risk you being around that fucker.”
“Dean…”
I turned her around in my arms and stared at her, straight into those black eyes that rivalled the darkness around us.
“Trust me, Nora. I’m begging you. After what happened to Elizabeth, I’m not taking any chances. Let me keep you safe. I have places we can hide out in. At least till we can play our next move.”
“Places? Like all your castles in Europe?” she said teasingly.
I smiled. “Exactly.”
“Maybe then I can play at being a princess in a tower…” she said, and turned to face the night again.
“Oh?”
“Uh huh. You can be an invading barbarian from a neighboring tribe, come to carry me off and take me for his bride.”
“That’s quite the imagination you have.”
“Well, I have to entertain myself you know, on all those lonely nights by myself in my tower. There are dragons guarding the entrance though. You’ll have to kill those to get in.”
“Do I? Consider it done. Although once I’m inside I get to have my way with you, obviously.” It was strange, being so glib and lighthearted at a time like this. But I liked it. I liked the hidden, unspeakable conversation we were having underneath all these stories and games.
That night we slept in each other’s arms, my ears pricked like a wolf’s, neither of us quite falling asleep. She curled up behind me and breathed into my neck as she fell asleep.
I resented the fact that I was running like a coward, penniless, too paranoid to pick up a phone or anything else that could be tracked. But my father didn’t control everything. I still had a few connections of my own. I had a friend in California who had a few grudges of his own against my father, and I knew that a jury would look at my mother’s sorrowful face and hand-mended clothes and see the real Jeff Cane, the parts that he never spoke about on the TED talks or at his fancy product launches.
That night, with Nora’s sweet breath in my ear, I dreamt of slaying dragons. When I awoke, it was around an hour before daybreak, and I could have sworn I still felt warm dragon blood on my hands.
We got up and got ready to leave.
Chapter 6
Myth: Rich “alpha males” get all the hot chicks, it’s just a natural law
Reality: It’s the ones they’re trying to impress who are really alpha
The sun was just peeking over the valley when we convened again in the kitchen, my mother’s braid freshly redone and a new look of determination on her face. She brewed the three of us an old fashioned can of black coffee and we sat drinking it in silence. When we were done, she quietly rinsed the cups in the sink, straightened her clothes and gave Nora a hug.
“And me? Do I get one?” I teased.
“You just take care of yourself,” she said. “And Nora. It’s been more than ten years since I drove anything other than that rust bucket out there, let’s hope I don’t crash on the interstate and ruin the big plan.”
We hugged.
“Just tell him everything I’ve told you,” I said. “You’ll be put under witness protection. You just need to fly under the radar till then.”
We walked her out to my car and she got inside, started the engine, and drove off waving, ready to meet Charlie at the designated spot. It took a while for the red dust to die down, but once it did, I turned to Nora, and tried to figure out what was going on in that head of hers.
“You know… your mother is a pretty strange woman. I would never in a million years have guessed that--”
“That she used to be married to the great Jeff Cane? Oh, believe it. In fact, she married down if you ask me. My mom used to model. She owned a dozen boutiques all over the country. A real society pages lady.”
She laughed.
“Really?”
“Yup.”
It took a little while to close up the farm house. Nora and I worked quietly to shut the doors and windows, double check our bags and come to terms with the fact that we were dangerously close to being fugitives. We climbed into the old pickup and with a grating growl, I started up the engine and we rolled slowly out, the chickens watching with surprised round eyes from their bushes.
The motel wasn’t far. It was still early morning by the time we pulled up into the gravel driveway and went inside to ask for a room, under the names ‘Mr. and Mrs. Morgan’. The guy at the desk took his sweet time dragging his lecherous eyes all over Nora’s beautiful body. I shot him my own threatening stare and he cut it out, but it was just one more thing that ratcheted up the tension.
Nora was a strong, capable woman, but only in a very narrow, very particular environment. She was masterful. But that mastery only applied to a very slim niche. Out here she seemed so vulnerable. So small. Like I was an idiot bringing a thoroughbred greyhound to a dogfight, or an orchid to a county cabbage fair.
We got our key, went over to our room and when I slammed and locked the door behind us, she grabbed me and we kissed long and deep against it, not taking a second to breathe.
Fuck, she tasted good.
Against her tongue I let go of all the tension that had built in me since we woke up. She collapsed against me, melting into the relief of knowing that finally, we were alone together.
My hands flew out over her body and pawed at every part of her. I stroked down her tight flanks and traced my hands down onto her hips, then all the way back up again, pressing into the dip of her neat, feminine waist and pulling her firmly against me. I pulled back and looked at her eyes, which were searching me with a familiar but cautious abandon. It was a look that seemed to say: how far shall we go…?
I grabbed her and pushed her onto the bed, an
d she collapsed backwards easily. On her elbows, she stared up at me half surprised, half daring me to have pushed her harder. I took a few steps towards her. Stared down at her body on the bed. What used to feel cold and bitchy about her Mistress Morgan persona was fast morphing into a more playful rebelliousness. Just the thought of what we had done together the last time we were in a place like this had me hard.
Very hard.
“Now, what was all that about dragons?” I said and jumped onto the bed with her, pinning her body down on either side with my legs. She giggled and struggled under me. Her hips lifted of their own accord up to meet my cock and rub sweetly against it.
“You want dragons, hm?” she cooed in my ear, and quickly sunk her nails into my back to bring me down on top of her for a heady kiss. She bit my lower lip and mumbled something obscene under her breath. When I reached down to grab at her shirt and hoist it over her head, she froze dead in my arms, eyes wide.
The sound of police sirens. Outside.
We exchanged panicked looks, and then, quick as a rabbit, she darted out from under me and raced to the window. Without thinking I was on my feet as well, heart pounding.
“It’s… it’s nothing,” she said, and closed the drapes again. I looked at her standing at the window for a moment and tried to decide if all this paranoia was making me horny or getting in the way of how horny I was.
“Come back here,” I said.
“Do you think they’re looking for us?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you,” I said with a joking smile.
“You? Protect me? I think you’re the thing I might need protection from…” she said, slowly walking towards the bed. She reached over to grab the remote and flicked the TV on, then scanned through all the channels.