by Kahele, J
My father had put me on temporary disability from work after the incident with Phillip, wanting me to relax and see a therapist. My mother fussed over me like I was a baby, constantly coming over and bringing me food and checking to make sure I was okay. Chain was very back-offish when it came to my parents, always making sure he was gone before they arrived. Although his reaction to my parents was strange, I chalked it up to him not having parents and not knowing how to deal with mine. Let’s face it, parents could really be a pain in the butt when they wanted to, always bossing you around and trying to interfere with your life.
Chain and I never spent a night apart after the Phillip incident. We took turns going back and forth from his place to mine. Maybe it was selfish of me to make Chain agree to the strange arrangement, but he was the only person who comforted me, who I trusted, who made me feel safe.
I was folding laundry when my cell rang and I picked it up from the counter. Callie’s number flashed across the caller ID and I shook my head.
I had been calling Callie’s cell for three days without an answer, getting her voicemail, which was unusual, as she always took my calls, even when she was ill. I called David and it was to no avail. He didn’t answer either which gave me a clear indication that wherever they had disappeared to, they were together. I attempted to fish information out of Chain—surely he would know David’s whereabouts, he was after all his employer—but all he said was that David had requested a few days off via email. When I tried to press Chain for more information, he threw his hands up and said, ‘David works very hard and when he needs time off I never question it.’ What kind of damn answer was that?
After calling Callie’s house a zillion times and pleading desperately with Chain to call David, he finally caved in and did it. Unfortunately, it didn’t get me any further in my quest to locate Callie, as Chain was met with the same irritating response, David’s voicemail.
I snatched my cell up and answered. “Callie, where the hell have you been?”
“David and I wanted to have you two over for dinner tonight.” Did she just bypass my question?
“Callie, seriously, where have you and David been? Chain and I were ready to call out the National Guard to find you two!” That was a slight exaggeration, but I was getting to the point where I was thinking of calling her mother and if you know Callie’s mother like I did, she most definitely would have called the National Guard, had she known Callie was missing.
“Relax, Violet, David and I are fine. So do you two want to come over for dinner tonight?” Why was she not answering my question?
I grunted. “You’re not going to tell me where you have been, are you?”
She paused before saying, “I will tell you, when you come over for dinner.”
I pouted at her words. “Why are you being so secretive?”
“I’m not, I just want you to come over for dinner, I miss you, girl.” It was obvious she was staying close-mouthed and the only way I was going to find out anything was if I went over there.
I exhaled impatiently. “Fine. What time?”
“Sixish.”
“Okay, I’ll be there.”
“Alright, Violet, see you then.” I hung up my cell and placed it on the washer and commenced to finish up my folding, still upset with Callie. We had been friends for years and not once had she ever kept a secret from me. And even though it wasn’t a big deal to her, it sure was to me. How would she feel if I kept secrets from her? I could answer that, she would be just like me, mad and annoyed.
I heard the front door open and the clatter of keys as they hit the kitchen counter. I finished folding the last few pieces of laundry and sauntered out of the laundry room and saw Chain standing in the kitchen, downing a big glass of milk. This was a common occurrence for Chain when he came home; he loved milk and drank at least a gallon a day.
He smiled as I approached him, placing his glass down and curling his arms around my waist.
“Well, hello there, beautiful girl, what did you do all day?” he asked as he placed a small kiss on my cheek.
I snaked my arms around his neck. “I did some laundry, cleaned up, you know, domestic stuff.”
“I like you domestic. It’s very sexy.” He bent his head, kissing my jaw, chin, and then settling on my lips. The kiss burned through me and I melted in his arms. His hands gently slid down my sides, lifting my shirt and rubbing them against my bare skin. “Your skin is so soft.”
I froze as my heart began to pound in my chest, memories of Phillip coursing through my mind. I clenched my hands at my sides, pulling away, backing up a few inches.
He frowned.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” I mumbled frantically.
He tried to fake a grin, but I knew it bothered him every time I rejected him and who could blame him? It had to be heartbreaking to have the woman you love pull away from your affections. “It’s okay, Violet, I know it has to be hard. I hate that Phillip did this to you.”
I felt the need to reassure him that it wasn’t him, it was me. “It has nothing to do with you, Chain. God, I wish I could just forget about it, about him.” It was torture remembering Phillip every time Chain touched me. I wished I could erase the memory of Phillip, delete him completely from my head.
Chain’s expression relaxed and he brushed the hair back from my face. “I know, Violet, I really wish you could too.” He placed his hands on my shoulders. “This is not your fault, you did nothing wrong. Take all the time you need. I don’t want you rushing into anything that makes you uncomfortable. ”
“Thank you.” He released his hands from my shoulders and smiled.
“No need to thank me. It’s not just your body I’m after, I hope you know that.”
I smirked. “Are you sure?”
He laughed. “Well I would be lying if I didn’t say I loved your body a lot and making love to you hits the top of my list. But sex isn’t as important as your mental stability. When you’re ready, it will happen, no pressure.”
I didn’t know what I did so right to deserve this man, but I was thankful to have him.
I leaned my hand on the counter, tilting my eyes up at him. “Callie called and invited us over for dinner tonight.”
“Yeah, I know, I just got off the phone with David.”
“Did he tell you where they went?”
“No, did Callie tell you?”
“No.”
He lifted the milk jug from the counter.
“Well I’m sure they will tell us tonight,” he mumbled as he poured milk into his glass.
How could he be so calm about this? “Doesn’t it bother you that they won’t tell us anything?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “No, they’re grown-ups, they don’t have to answer to anyone.”
“Well it bothers me, a lot,” I muttered, frustrated.
He chuckled. “You will find out soon enough.” But I wanted to know now! How was it that men could be so casual about everything? If it wasn’t for me Chain wouldn’t even have known that David was missing. Some best friend he was.
“I know that look and you’re irritated,” Chain said as he placed the gallon of milk back into the fridge.
I folded my arms. “I want to know where they have been. I don’t understand why Callie is being so cryptic about it.”
He gave me a quick peck on the lips. “You’re pouting, it’s terribly sexy,” he said as he slid his finger across my cheek and down my chin.
“Can’t you just call David and ask him? I’m sure he will tell you.”
He released his finger and walked back over towards the fridge, lifting his glass to his lips, taking a quick swig before saying, “Absolutely not. Men are not like women, we do not pry into each other’s personal lives.”
I clenched my fists at my sides. “It’s not prying! It’s being concerned,” I said a little louder than I should have.
He grinned as he placed his glass in the sink. “It’s prying.”
I rolled my eye
s. “Whatever.” He laughed it off and walked into the living room, leaving me to stew on my own. Men! I rolled my eyes and wandered to the living room to witness Chain in full action.
He had this terrible habit of walking and dropping. He slid his suit coat off and draped it over the dining room chair, then slipped out of his shoes, leaving them in the middle of the living room before plopping, not sitting, down on the couch, loosening his tie and throwing it on the coffee table. I, of course, followed behind him like a mother after a child, picking all his stuff up.
I was still fuming over Callie’s need to be so close-mouthed about what she had been doing for the last three days when I walked into the bedroom. I was her best friend, her confidant, so why did she not trust me enough to tell me? I hung up Chain’s suit jacket, slid his tie onto the tie rack and neatly placed his shoes on the shoe rack, then strolled back out to the living room.
As I reached the edge of the living room, I stopped, a smile spreading across my face as I saw Chain stretched out on the couch, his hand resting on his forehead, his eyes shut. He looked so comfortable, peaceful. I had to fight the urge to curl up next to him, snuggle into his arms like we used to. Showing him that type of affection would only give him false hope and that was not something I wanted to do to him. It was hard enough lying with him at night, so close and unable to love him the way I wanted to.
If only I could flush the demons out, rid myself of the nightmares of Phillip that seemed to circle my head every time Chain and I touched, my life would be so much better.
My therapist said what I was experiencing was normal for what I had been through. When Phillip attempted to sexually violate me he took away my security and my ability to be intimate with any man. Although Chain had done nothing to deserve it, he was the one who suffered the worst of the consequences for what Phillip had done to me.
Chain woke from his nap a few hours later and after he showered and dressed, we made our way over to Callie and David’s.
David opened the door. “Hey, guys, so glad you could make it.” Chain and I walked inside, sliding our shoes off and following David into the living room.
Callie was sitting on the couch. She stood and hugged me. “Missed you, Violet.”
I frowned. “Sure you did, you didn’t even bother to call!”
She batted her eyelashes. “I was preoccupied, Violet.”
“Too preoccupied to call your best friend?” I pouted.
She laughed and turned to Chain. “Has she been like this since I left?”
“Yes,” Chain answered.
Callie waved her hand at the couch. “Sit, Violet.” I sat down and Chain sat down next to me. Callie sat on the couch across from us with David.
Callie grinned widely. “The reason why David and I left was because…” She held out her hand and I could see a large diamond ring on top of a platinum band. “We got married!” she screamed.
While I was excited for Callie, I was also disappointed and hurt. How could she do this? How could she get married without me? Since we were little girls, we promised each other that we would be each other’s maid of honor at our weddings. This was something special I looked forward to and her ripping it away like nothing devastated me.
I stood up and walked into the kitchen, needing a moment to myself. The last thing I wanted to do was make a scene.
“Violet,” Callie murmured quietly.
I glanced up at her. “Yeah.”
“Are you mad?”
I forced a smile. “No, Callie, I’m not mad.”
“I know you, Violet Townsend, and you are straight-out lying to me, now spill it, what’s wrong?” I could never hide my emotions from Callie, especially because my feelings were written all over my face. She knew my faces all too well. There was no way of hiding it, I had to just tell her the truth.
“It’s silly really.”
“With that expression on your face, it can’t be too silly. Come on, Violet, tell me what’s up. What are you thinking?”
I was having a really hard time expressing myself, only because this was supposed to be one of the happiest moments of Callie’s life and I felt that I would ruin it if I told her how I felt. I stood silent, hoping Callie would just let it drop, but she didn’t.
“Come on, Violet, spit it out.”
I exhaled before saying, “I’m kind of hurt, Callie.”
“Why?”
“We made a promise to each other when we got married we were going to be each other’s maid of honor. How could you go off and get married without even telling me?” Why did I feel like this?
David moved next to Callie. “Violet, we didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, it was a last-minute decision.”
I tilted my eyes up at him and forced a smiled. “I understand, David, really.” I did understand, they loved each other and decided they wanted to be married, but even as I was trying to convince myself that this was nothing personal, I couldn’t help but take it that way. I was being overly emotional. Since the Phillip incident, I had no control over my emotions. It didn’t take much for me to break down. It was not Callie’s fault that my emotions were out of control, that I was an emotional disaster. This was my problem and something I had to deal with. I felt horrible for bringing Callie into my emotional turmoil. How could I do this to her on one of the happiest days of her life!
“I am really happy for you and David, Callie, I really am. You two were meant to be together forever and I know right now is the happiest time of your life and I don’t want to ruin that, so I think it is better that I left,” I said tearfully.
She sniffled. “Violet Townsend, you are not leaving this house, do you hear me! Not until we settle this.”
“I’m being overly emotional. I just need a day to think on it, to let it sink in. Please, Callie, just give me a day.”
She moved closer to me, placing her hands on my arms, staring into my eyes.
“When David got home from the hospital, he proposed. He said the aneurysm bursting in his head made him realize that life was too short and he didn’t want to spend one more day without me being his wife. I love him, Violet, and all I want to do is make him happy, so when he suggested we run off and elope I accepted. I’m sorry, I wasn’t even thinking about our promise, I feel like a real ass for breaking it.”
“But you always wanted a big fancy wedding and you gave that up.”
“I know. But honestly, that to me is not as important as being married to David and making him happy. I’m sorry I hurt you, my intentions were not vicious, I just wanted to marry the man I love, that’s all.” Her words made me feel like a jerk. How selfish was I to think of myself.
“I’m sorry.”
She squeezed my hand. “No apology necessary, I just want to make sure you and I are okay.”
I hugged her. “Yes, we’re fine. And congratulations.”
“Thank you, Violet, coming from you it means a lot.” Callie took my hands and squeezed them as she looked into my eyes. “How about you, Violet? How are you?” I knew what she was hinting at—she wanted to know how I was doing with the Phillip ordeal. I wanted to tell her the truth that I wasn’t doing that great, but I felt that it wasn’t the right time. She just got married and I had already caused problems, so I blew off her question, instead choosing to lift her hand, whistling through my teeth as I glanced at her ring. A large marquis diamond, five carats at least, sat upon a silver setting, tiny diamonds surrounding it.
“That’s a rock.”
“I know, isn’t it beautiful? David had it personally made for me, there’s not another one like it.”
“It is very beautiful.”
After admiring her ring, we ate dinner and sat around talking about their trip to Vegas. I couldn’t help but think about Callie’s words, ‘life is too short.’ For the last three months, I had lived in a bubble, feeling sorry for myself because of what happened. Life was short and I needed to start living it, and the only way I could do that was to move on past Phillip.
***
To say I was behind at work was an understatement. I had been off for only three months and couldn’t believe the mounds of paperwork on my desk. It made me rethink my decision to return—maybe I should have taken a little more time off—but then again if I did that I would only be more behind. I couldn’t win for losing if my life depended on it.
I was rummaging through a stack of paperwork when my father walked into the office. He sat down on the chair in front of my desk and I placed the paperwork down, giving him my full attention.
“So how are you doing?” he queried.
I smiled. “I’m fine, Daddy, just trying to catch up, that’s all.”
“The therapist helping you?”
“Yeah, she helps me a lot.”
He leaned back on the chair, folding his hands. “So now that things are beginning to settle down, are you going to come to dinner tonight with that new boyfriend of yours? What’s his name, Shane?”
I let out a laugh. “Chain, Daddy, his name is Chain. I don’t really know if he is up to it. With everything that has happened, I really don’t want to pressure him into meeting my parents.” Chain was going through enough having to deal with me and my mound of problems with the Phillip ordeal; the last thing I wanted to do was add parents onto the heap.
He shrugged. “Your mother really wants to meet this boy.” I knew my parents were anxious to meet Chain, but I wasn’t too sure how Chain would feel about meeting them. “The family dinners are not the same without you, honey,” my father continued. I knew I had been failing as a daughter lately and I felt bad about that. The family dinners were very important to my parents, it was a way of having all of their children together in one place, something they enjoyed tremendously.
I leaned forward slightly. “Let me talk to Chain first, Daddy, and I’ll let you know.”
He stood up and walked around my desk, bending over and kissing me on the cheek. “I hope you can come, it will make your mother very happy.”