“Sure, when were you thinking?”
“I don’t know, tomorrow?” he said.
“Tomorrow, that’s awfully soon. I’m not there. I’m away for a few days in the mountains.”
“Well that simply doesn’t work. Need to get out of here.”
“Could I just come to your place and wait till you get back? Where do you live again? Geneva?”
“Zurich.”
“Same thing. Just leave the key with someone under a stone or something.”
“Don’t you have to work?”
“Not needed back for a week or two. Paper is going fine. Could take some overdue holiday.”
“I guess you could pick up the key from the concierge. She has a spare. I could cable her telling you are coming.”
“Do that, my boy.”
“Fine.”
“So where are you? Still depressed?”
“You’re such an s---.”
“I know.”
“So what do you say?”
“Fine. But I have some people staying with me, so don’t go having any parties and getting into trouble while I’m not there.”
“Loosen up.”
“I’m serious, Finn, and leave my liquor cabinet alone.”
“So uptight!”
“I’ll be back on Wednesday! The concierge’s name is Frau Fischer. Got the address?”
“Best to give it.”
“Idastrasse 29. Zurich.”
“Okay, very well. See you in a few days.”
“Fine. See you,” he hung up without saying goodbye.
I walked back to the terrace and could see that Maria had joined David’s table.
“Christ,” I said to myself and walked over.
“There’s our famous writer!” he called out as he saw me approach. “Been thinking up a new story, have we? You really should get started on something new instead of relaxing here in the mountains.”
“Hello, Frances! David,” I said, trying my best to be bright and normal.
“Hello, Harry,” Frances said.
“Maria was just updating us,” David said.
“Really. On what exactly?” I asked slowly, glancing at Maria, who was smiling back at me.
“Don’t be so uptight, Harry. Loosen up, take a load off and have a drink man. Thought you weren’t depressed anymore?”
“Who was on the telephone?” Maria asked leaning over.
“Finn. A friend from New York. I’ll explain later.”
“But everything is fine?”
“Sure,” I said, forcing a smile. “So what did I miss?”
“Maria was just saying how much she liked Zurich and that she’d like to stay,” Frances said.
“You’d like to stay longer?” I asked in surprise, and turned my head toward her.
“Well, look here, seems you guys don’t talk at all!” laughed David.
“I was meaning to ask if we could stay a little while longer, maybe I could even find a job and a small apartment close by?”
“Yes you should stay,” David said with eagerness.
“What do you think, Harry?” Maria asked.
“I think we should talk about it later.”
“Well, well, getting all uptight and protective!” David said, who clearly had a few drinks and was still puffing on his cigar. “Is it every day a beautiful woman asks to stay with you?”
“Leave it out David,” I snapped back and looked at him and then at Frances. She then tapped David’s arm and he sat back.
“Sorry, Harry, just busting your balls,” he mumbled.
“When it comes to my writing, feel free,” I said heatedly. “But when it’s my personal life, please stay out!”
“Oh, you’re really so uptight tonight,” he replied, rolling his eyes.
“David!” Frances said in a stern tone.
“Well, he is! This beautiful girl just plucked up the courage to ask for help and he blew her off.”
“No I didn’t,” I replied. “Is that what you think Maria?”
“Not at all.”
“See?” I said to David.
“Listen sweetheart, if he doesn’t want you to stay, you call me and we will sort something out.”
“I just said that we had to talk about it privately, that’s all,” I said firmly and stood up. “Come on, Maria, it’s time to call it a night,” I waited for Maria to stand up. “Good night, Frances.”
“Harry!” David cried out and giggled as we left.
I felt so mad that I took Maria’s hand and walked in silence up to the room. I opened the room door and she followed me in. I grabbed a whiskey and cigarettes and went outside to the balcony. The air had changed and I could feel a strong fresh wind hitting my face.
“You’re really sensitive, Harry,” she said coming up behind me.
“Sensitive…!’ anguished by her words. “You have no idea what that man put me through.”
“Then explain it to me.”
“For example. This book I wrote recently, The Blue Room. As soon as I told him I was working on something new and it was going well, he would send cable after cable pushing me to finish it before a fall release. He drove me crazy with that. He would even call me strange hours in the night to go over the manuscript asking me to change this or that. My nerves were just shot to hell toward the end of the book. I’m sure it showed in my writing. Who the hell does he think he is, he’s not even an editor, what the hell does he know about writing.”
“Is he really that bad?”
“Yes, and even now he’s a nightmare. They are just preparing a marketing push for the book, and he’s started to threaten me that if it doesn’t sell well I will have to pay back the difference.”
“Really? That’s not so sweet.”
“Honestly, he’s just a horrible person and only interested in what he can get out of people and it’s all for the glorification of his big ego. The last time we spoke by phone, he said that if the book doesn’t do well then he would release a statement to the press saying that two of the main characters in the book were based on the author’s real life and they are both dead. He thinks it will create some controversy and help with the book sales. That’s my past he wants to put on stage, and he only wants to do it to make money. Sometimes I really think he has no empathy, nor values.”
“Sounds horrible.”
“He’s horrible. I feel sick just talking about him.”
“But your ex-wife isn’t dead? You told me she’s living in Normandy.”
“Exactly. Anyway, I don’t want to talk about it anymore. And you saw him tonight; he just loves to provoke! He’s an antagonist, a pure antagonist.”
“Why don’t you just leave?”
“I can’t, they have options on my next three books. We signed a contract. Plus, I do great work with Thomas. He’s really a wonderful editor. The next book I write should be a stinker and then they would surly pass and I would get out of my contract.”
“Then do that?”
“Maybe I should. Although, I’m not sure I could do that to Thomas.”
“Well for the moment, you should really try and take it—how do you say in English?—On your chin? Is that the right expression?” she smiled.
“Yes, that’s right,” I said, and with her smile I felt myself starting to relax. It was much better now that it was just the two of us again.
“Give me that thing,” she reached for the whiskey flask and took a big gulp.
“Wow. There’s a lot of whiskey in that whiskey,” I grinned at her. “There’s never a dull moment with you, is there?”
“Grazie, signore,” she smiled back.
“And listen, you can stay with me as long as you want.”
“I already knew you would say that,” a small frown formed on her forehead. She looked away from me. “You’re too good to us. How can I ever thank you?”
“Don’t be silly, I love the fact you guys are at home with me.”
“Thank you, Harry. Really.”
“So you’re serious about staying in Zurich?” I asked.
“Sure, why not?” smiling once more. It’s a nice city. I feel safe and I’m sure I could find work and an apartment. Plus I like the idea that you’re close by.”
She leaned over and placed her hand on my arm. In that moment I wanted so badly to kiss her, and then suddenly a knock at the door came. It was a telegram for Frau Moretti. She opened it and the blood drained from her face.
“It’s Roberto,” she said. “He’s been to the apartment.”
I swallowed hard.
“Why is your concierge giving out your hotel details?” she cried, suddenly anxious and worried.
“I don’t know, I really need to talk to her.”
“He wants me to call him when I get this or he threatens to come out here!”
“Good God. Then you should call him.”
“Yes, I will. This could take some time. I’ll say goodnight, Harry.” She kissed me on the cheek and left the room. I heard her go to the telephone in her room. I turned the gas lights off and undressed and got into bed. I could hear her voice as I tried to fall asleep. I just hoped she stays strong and Roberto wasn’t being too hard on her.
—————
Roberto Moretti was an Italian Jew and through his father’s shrewdness was one of the richest Jewish families in Rome. He was a playboy in his youth, living from his father’s allowance, and he married the first girl that was nice to him. He was married for five years but had no children, and just as he had made up his mind to leave her, she left him first and went off with a stockbroker. Even though he had wanted to leave her, it was still a shock when she said it first—and she did say it first.
The divorce was arranged and Roberto plunged himself into self-pity and expensive girls. With his newfound freedom and money, he discovered a new authority and arrogance. He wasn’t particularly good-looking, just tall and wealthy and dominant and a good talker. After years of playing the playboy so well, he was forced by his father to join the family business. So he took the only job possible for good talkers as a sales executive for his father’s company. It suited his personality and he was successful, but by that time he had other things to worry about. He had been taken in hand by a lady who was pretty and somewhat the talk of the town.
They had met at a party and she was alluring. Roberto was instantly taken with her. He was sure he loved her, but after some years she became bored with him and Rome and decided that she might as well get what there was while there was something to get, so she urged that they go to New York where she had been educated and to start a family. They stayed for some years and spent the first year traveling and living off Roberto’s family allowance.
The lady, who was called Jovanna, found in the end of the second year that she was still not pregnant and that her looks were going. Her attitude toward Roberto changed from one of careless possession and exploitation to absolute determination: she would get pregnant and marry into the Moretti family at all costs. Yet when Mother Nature refused, she resented Roberto and they moved back to Rome. It was then that he met Maria.
Maria at that time was looking for something but she didn’t know what exactly. They met at a mutual friend’s party late in August of that year, and they got along well at first. He was very open about his situation and played the victim extremely well. He talked about the pressures of coming from money and what the family expected of him. He talked of how Jovanna was treating him badly and how she had come to resent him for not getting her pregnant. Maria saw in him someone to be saved. After a short affair with Maria he separated from Jovanna. Only one month later Maria was pregnant.
Maria, feeling a whole new sense of purpose, realized that even though they didn’t have such a deep love connection, perhaps with a child and over time she would feel differently about him. Over the first two years she tried to make it work and he kept disappointing. For Roberto, it was more of a trophy on his arm than anything else, along with the big house, an expensive car, and finally a cute kid—everything that was expected of a man his age. He then lost himself in his arrogance and work and completely ignored Maria and Liv. He became so self-involved that when Maria talked about the possibility of a separation, the violence and abuse came and then kept coming.
CHAPTER XV
IN THE MORNING it was raining and the fog had come over the mountains so we could not see the tops. The town from the courtyard looked dull and gray and gloomy, and the shapes of the houses and trees seemed to have changed. I walked around the courtyard smoking. It was early and the flags hung wet from their poles. I looked up to Maria’s room and could see that the curtains were still drawn. Pools of water had gathered around me, and it started to rain more heavily now. I went inside and up to the main dining room for the breakfast service and sat down with a cappuccino and read the Swiss daily papers until Maria arrived. She looked fresh faced and held Liv in her arms.
“Buongiorno,” I said.
“Good morning,” she replied, giving Liv to me. She sat on my lap and the waiter came over.
“Two cappuccinos and some warm milk with honey, bitte,” Maria said.
“Did you sleep well?”
“Liv yes, me not so good. I had intense discussions with Roberto till two in the morning.”
“Oh dear.”
“I’m sorry, Harry, but we need to go back to Zurich.”
“When?”
“Today!”
“How so?”
“Roberto is mad that I’m here with you and threatened to come out here if we are not back tonight.”
“What do you want to do?” I asked.
“I’d like to stay but I don’t want a drama, especially not for Liv. He really will show up and make a scene.”
“Then let him. We can handle it.”
“It’s not we, Harry,” she said firmly. “This is my problem and I need to deal with it. You can support me like you do, but this is really something I need to do alone.”
“I understand. So if you’re sure, then let’s relax, finish our breakfast and leave.”
“Thank you. Sorry to ruin our trip. I know it was my idea.”
“It’s no problem. Where is Roberto staying?”
“The Baur au Lac.”
“Of course he is,” I said with no surprise.
“It’s expensive?”
“One of the most expensive hotels in Zurich.”
“Well that’s Roberto,” she sighed and looked serious. “He asked if we would meet him there, so it’s probably best to drop us off as soon as we arrive.”
“At the hotel?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
We sat there for a while and ate our breakfast in silence. I think Maria was just as disappointed as I was that we couldn’t stay for a few more days.
“Listen,” I took her hand. “We will go away again. Soon.”
She smiled back.
“Perhaps it’s for the best,” she said. “Did you see the weather this morning?”
“I did, horrible stuff. Raining, windy and gloomy, you name it.”
“I like this word gloomy,” she crinkled her eyes so they smiled.
“Oh, and I forgot to tell you, my friend Finn…”
“The man on the telephone last night?”
“Yes. Well, he’s spontaneously come to town and as I don’t get to see him so often, I said he could stay with us for a day or two. I hope you don’t mind?”
“It’s your apartment, Harry.”
“Well, while the two of you are staying with me, I want you to think of it as your apartment too.”
“That’s a nice idea,” she said. “But it’s your home and we are just guests.”
For some reason, that comment made me sad and I tilted back in my chair, and watched her face. The sleep had made her hard.
“So perhaps I’ll take Finn out hiking or fishing or something. But I can stay home if you prefer?”
“No, actually, it’s probably a good thing that you go out of town these next days,” she let out a deep sigh. “I really need to deal with Roberto. Honestly, I just can’t believe he’s here.”
“Everything will be fine Maria.” I said gently. “We won’t go far, so if you need me, I’ll be an hour away.”
“That’s sweet, Harry.”
We went upstairs and agreed to be packed and ready for noon. I took off my shoes and lay down on the bed. The door to the balcony was open and for a brief moment the sun broke through the clouds and entered the room. A gust of wind blew in and it felt fresh, the type of freshness only rain can bring. A knock came at the door.
“Come in!” It was Maria.
“Harry, what are you doing?”
“What do you mean?”
“We are waiting for you downstairs, it’s quarter-past twelve.”
“What? I just lay down?”
“You must have fallen asleep! Get packed and hurry please.”
I had a quick shower and dressed and packed and went downstairs. The hotel was busy now because of the bad weather. There were children running around everywhere. I paid the bill and asked the porter to bring the car around.
I found Maria and Liv waiting in the bar. When Maria saw me she raised an eyebrow.
“Ready?”
“Yes,” I said with a small smile. “Sorry.”
The porter brought our baggage to the car just as a bus stopped outside the hotel and many passengers got down, and a lot of baggage was unstrapped from the roof.
We drove out of the courtyard, down into the town and started off. The road was wet and dirty, and the dirt rose under the wheels and clung to the car. The road climbed up into the hills and left the fields below. We turned sharply out to the side of the road to give room to pass a long string of mules, following one after another, hauling a high-hooded wagon loaded with fright and supplies for the town. The wagon and mules were covered with dirt. Up here the country was quite sparse and the hills were covered with a light snow that was being washed away by the rain.
It did not seem very long till we arrived back in Zurich. We hardly spoke a word the whole journey.
When we arrived at Roberto’s hotel I got out and helped carry Liv inside. She had fallen asleep for most of the journey. I wasn’t particularly worried about running into Roberto, so I walked into the lobby and said my goodbyes. Maria seemed sad and defeated.
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