by Chris Harvey
A World Cup only comes around every four years and this is how I will be remembered, not for any saves I have pulled off already, not for organising my defence well and not for how I have played during the rest of the season. I move my head out from between my palms to hear the roar of the opposition’s fans, luckily they are behind the other goal and this is the second half so the taunts will not come today unless we manage to get to extra time. It will be next season where it will happen, they will have made up chants and songs about me.
I want to close my eyes, allow the earth to swallow me up but every time I blink I see that ball moving slowly towards me. I see the central defender move this way, I am expecting him to shout and scream but he simply puts his arm around me and tells me that it is just one mistake, that I will save the next one. And that is was I need to do, be strong, be brave. A striker can make mistake after mistake and still score the winning goal but if a defender or goalkeeper makes just one it can be fatal. Everyone makes a blunder every now and then and in this job it is not about when you make one, it is about how well you react afterwards.
Day 22 – 03/07/14
What happened in the World Cup
Rest Day
I Shouldn’t Have Married An Italian
I shouldn't have married an Italian
I should have thought it through
Whilst I've got three lions on my shirt
She will always be a blue
I shouldn't have married an Italian
I should have made a plan
Whilst I want to watch Liverpool play
She bangs on about AC Milan
I shouldn't have married an Italian
When we met I knew I should go
As I had a lovely short hair cut
And she had dreadlocks like Baggio
I shouldn't have married an Italian
Alarm bells rang when out with her possy
Instead of me on her phone screensaver
She had a picture of Paolo Rossi
I shouldn't have married an Italian
I thought taking her away would make me a hero
But instead of a romantic break in Paris
She wanted a tour of the San Siro
I shouldn't have married an Italian
We now have a son who is only teeny
We named him John after my dad
But she calls him her little Maldini
I shouldn't have married an Italian
She keeps reminding me of her team’s glory
When I talk about sixty six she says
They are still not as good as the Azzurri
I shouldn’t have married an Italian
Now we are facing each other in the cup
She keeps shout and cheering
Whilst I just sit here in a strop
Day 23 – 04/07/14
What happened in the World Cup
Quarter Final
Flight Technologists
Apparently the ball at the last World Cup was like one of those plastic ones you get from a beach kiosk. We used to call them flyaways because when you kicked them the wind would pick them up and they would fly for miles in random directions. Ok, so not for miles, but they did go a long way. What surprises me is that footballers know the difference between balls, yeah they are professionals and play with many different balls but there must be such minute differences that the effect is pretty much the same. It is not like going from a large beach ball to a tennis ball.
I am sure it is all a marketing ploy to get gullible members of the public to buy more merchandise; surely a football is a football. But no, the companies who make them would have us believe that millions of pounds worth of research go into making the perfect ball, money which could really go elsewhere like curing cancer or something. They have these people they call Flight Technologists, they have basically made up a name, who check if footballs fly correctly. Well, according to players they didn’t do a good job last World Cup. I wonder if they were all fired or given a new, not really what they are doing, job title. They could be rubbish coordinators (they pick up litter in the office) or executive display consultants (they go to shops and make a nice display in the window). Anyhow, I digress. According to people in the know the last World Cup ball was too round, yes you read that right, TOO ROUND! In my mind a football needs to have two major facets, be about the right size and be round. After that I am sure other variables can change considerably. I would say the weight would be a problem but they fill it with air so that can’t be too much of an issue.
Anyway, this World Cup sees a less round ball. Don’t worry, it is not because they have made it into a cube, it is because they have applied loads of little bumps to it. This is supposed to make it more aerodynamic. Well, I am not a scientists but I was always taught that a smooth object has less wind resistance and is therefore more aerodynamic than a rough object. But they must know best as this one actually flies better, apparently the previous one was unpredictable. I reckon that someone put one of those motors that spin inside, you know the ones, they put them in small plastic balls and you don’t know where they are going to roll. Maybe the last ball was made bad on purpose so they could make this one so much better so people would be conned again. I think a simpler idea would be just to change the stickers on it. Us fans like things like new stickers, just think of how many kits we own. It’s just the same thing with a slightly new design.
I am also wondering how they came up with the idea of little bumps as if it was somehow a new technology. I think they had some old netballs hanging around that they couldn’t shift so they pretended they were footballs. A few of those new stickers and no-one knows the difference. All I can say is, Flight Technologists, what a load of rubbish.
Day 24 – 05/07/14
What happened in the World Cup
Quarter Final
The Injury
He has broken through our defence, he will be one on one with our keeper, he will certainly score. That is unless I can get back. My eyes are focused straight ahead, I charge as fast as I can. Somehow my legs carry me quicker than they ever have before. I feel like I will burst a blood vessel but I keep going. You hear of those people who gain superhuman strength in times of crisis and I think this might be one of those moments.
Somehow I get there, but this is no moment for surprise. On pure instinct I stretch my leg out and flick the ball away. The crowd cheer an amazing tackle but I do not hear the sound. All I hear is the crack of my knee echoing in my mind, I don't know if it actually made a noise but to me it is like an avalanche. All I can do is scream.
My eyes are screwed tight as pain flares around my leg, the knee the epicentre. I hear vague noises but cannot focus on them. At one point I think I hear someone shout for a physio. A few seconds later a voice says, "where is the pain?"
"My knee," I manage through gritted teeth.
I don't know if it is years of training or the way I am holding myself but the physio manages to work out which knee it is. He pushes and feels around the knee and it is all I can do to not scream further. My eyes are open at this point, staring down at me are concerned faces. I am not inspired by their looks.
The magic spray does little to dull the pain and I know I am in trouble when two men in high visibility jackets come on with a stretcher. The pain is more intense than ever as I am manhandled on to it. This time I cannot disguise how much it hurts and let out a little scream.
The crowd claps as I leave, lying prostrate on this portable bed. Both teams' supporters are united as one for a small moment. It is of little comfort to me, I do not know how long I will be injured for, I do not know if my team will get through this round but what I do know is that my World Cup is over.
Day 25 – 06/07/14
What happened in the World Cup
Rest Day
The Greats
I wish I could have seen the greats
Like Cruyff and Beckenbauer
Watched from the stan
ds as Pele scored
Or Banks saved with such power
I wish I could have seen the greats
Like Zico or Georgie Best
Watched as Garrincha did his tricks
And Charlton beat the rest
I wish I could have seen the greats
Like Müller and Bobby Moore
I'd like to sit and watch Eusébio
As he beats ten players to score
I wish I could have seen the greats
A battle between Platini and Zoff
Watching Lev Yashin saving shots
And Puskás doing his stuff
I wish I could have seen the greats
Seeing Di Stéfano, so underrated
I would even watch Maradona's hand of God
Even though it is so hated
I wish I could have seen the greats
Even as far back as Dixie Dean
Rossi, Kempes, Greaves, Schillaci
I'd give my right arm to have seen
I wish I could have seen the greats
All those I have not named
There is no room in this small poem
For their skill that is so famed
Day 26 – 07/07/14
What happened in the World Cup
Rest Day
Religion
Christians have Churches, Jews have Synagogues, Muslims have Mosques and Football Fans have Stadiums. That may sound a little silly, surely football isn’t a religion as you can be any religion and be a football fan. Plus there is no God or Gods in football and a religion needs worship.
Well, I would say that football is like a religion. Ok so maybe it is not specifically one, but it does act the same. Let’s take a look shall we? Well, as stated before, we have our stadiums. Christians may worship in their local church be it Roman Catholic, Pentecostal, Church of England or any of the other denominations. Fans also do this, many in Milan worship their team at the San Siro, those in Liverpool may do it at Anfield and in Barcelona it might be the Camp Nou. These places are like churches, are like synagogues, are like mosques. It is people getting together over one cause in the belief of their team.
What about having Gods and Prophets? Well we all have that one player we love, the guy we don’t want our team to sell, could they be our God? Maybe it is the manager, he is the one who keeps the team together, does what he thinks is right for the better of all. Prophets could be those players in the squad we like, the ones who we say are brilliant, they may not be our favourites but we stand by them as they are an integral to the team’s success.
Religions have rules to follow and so do many teams, little things we need to do or just wouldn’t do. If you are a Tottenham player you would never sign for Arsenal, if you are a Sunderland fan you would never wear black and white only red and white, if you are a Real Madrid fan you never support Barcelona even if their result could hand you more success. Some fans will only buy certain magazines because the others are unfavourable to their team, some will only drink in certain places or have whole pubs where only that type of fan can drink. Some fans have pre-match rituals and others will need to wear the shirt whilst watching a game or sit in a certain place in a stadium. Some rules are for every supporter and some are for the individual but there are rules.
Symbolism is big in different religions, so too does football have such icons. Think about how a Muslim or Jew dresses, they wear their religion, they are proud of what they are. What about football fans? They wear the shirt of their team or don a coat or cap that has the logo or crest emblazoned on it. We all know that a cross is the sign of Christianity and the Star of David the sign of Judaism but we also know a cannon is for Arsenal, a wolf for Wolverhampton Wanderers, an owl for Sheffield Wednesday and a red devil for Manchester United.
You see, football isn’t really a religion but it does follow along the same lines, it is about a sense of belonging. I could be a Buddhist and a Leeds United supporter, a Jew and a Spurs fan, a Muslim and love Blackburn Rovers but there will be a base passion, a belief and understanding that crosses the two. I might not worship my team in the same way I do my God but I will have similarly strong feelings for both and in many ways that is a beautiful thing.
Day 27 – 08/07/14
What happened in the World Cup
Semi Final
Are They Watching The Same Game As Me?
What?! What are they going on about? I mean are they even watching the same game as me? Just because these pundits used to play football doesn't mean they really understand it. They were just told what to do; if they really understood the game tactically they would be successful managers by now. Maybe it is because they are biased from a player’s point of view, they used to bend the rules on the pitch so don't really understand them.
Blatant penalty they said, that was never a penalty. If two players run near each other and one falls over it doesn't make it a foul. Too many players dive these days, and rather than defending it by saying it is part of the game the powers that be should do something to stop it.
Also they keep banging on about how good the home team is just because they had a lot of possession. It is not how often you have the ball it is what you do with it and my team have had better chances. They have defended well and been tactically better. Apparently their star player is having an off day. No he’s not, our centre backs are marshalling him everywhere and stopping him getting more than two touches at a time.
What about that foul, two feet with studs up is a sending off no matter where it happens. You can’t have one rule for one and another rule for another. Sometimes their incessant drivel just makes me want to turn off. And the clichés, how many times can one person say that “football is a game of two halves at the end of the day” during forty-five minutes? In fact that is two clichés in one. It is as if they are given a football commentators dictionary and have to fit as many comments in as they can. Do you think they get paid by the cliché?
You know what is annoying me the most? My team are always lucky according to these pundits. Well we have kept a clean sheet against three of the top five this season and we have a clean sheet so far today too, doesn’t that mean we have a good defence? I can tell you there was nothing ‘last ditch’ about any of those performances.
Pay me half the money these guys get and I will tell you twice as much and what I tell you will be right. At this present moment in time I don’t agree with a single thing any of them have said.
I think I’ll put the TV on mute for the second half and have the radio commentary on instead!
Day 28 – 09/07/14
What happened in the World Cup
Semi Final
Too Many Clichés?
“A surprise loss,” the interviewer stated at the end of the match, “what are your thoughts?”
“Well,” the defeated manager replied, “we played well during the first half but at the end of the day football is a game of two halves. Sometimes it is hard to come to these places on a wet Wednesday night and win. The guys ran their socks off today, they gave one hundred and ten percent but they just couldn’t break the defence down. They’ve got that big centre back, Dean, and on his day he’s unplayable.”
“How much do you think their defensive tactics stopped your flowing football?”
“Well we know they have a lot of whole-hearted physical players and today was all about stopping us playing. The whole team like getting into the faces of their opponents and we expected that to happen. Everyone knows that Stoke is such a difficult place to come and get a result. We were hoping that we could get Bentley on the ball a lot more, he has that cultured left foot so we are happy for him to shoot from range and he’s such a clever player that you expect something to happen every time he is on the ball. Today wasn’t his day. He’s been talked about as the new Messi and he has shown glimpses of that today but you can’t win them all.”
“What about Di Michele? You spent twenty four million on him but he had a disappointing evening.”
“Did it not concern you that he missed quite a few chances?”
“It does but strikers have barren patches and he hasn’t played badly today, he was one on one with the keeper on more than one occasion, you might say he’s got to be hitting the target from there but he seemed to almost hit the ball too well at times. He also had the penalty shout and we’ve seen them given, just a bit of luck and he would of scored today.”
“I was going to ask about the penalty but what about their goal, a hint of offside?”
“For me it was offside but those types of decision tend to even themselves out of the course of a season. I was more concerned by our defending, Bostock had no right to score from there and we need to look at our organisation. We had them on the back foot for large parts of the game and that means you can switch off at the back.”
“So, where do you go from here?”
“We need to move onwards and upwards, the luck was not with us tonight but we can’t be too harsh on ourselves, we need to take the positives out of the game. Your Barcelonas and Manchester Citys don’t look at the negatives and we need to look to those teams if we are to be successful. We’re not in a relegation dogfight yet and we need to remember that Stoke are dark horses, they can beat the big teams and you write them off at your peril. We had some good balls in today but no-one of the end of them; we will work on that in training and go for it next game.”