Chapter Twelve
Jasper loosened his cravat and undid the buttons on his shirt, sending up silent thanks to finally be free of them. After Julia struck Lady Hathaway, there was no sense pretending any of them wanted to be there. Even Ruby had looked quietly relieved to have an end to the evening, and she detested scenes of any kind. Julia had come to his defense—his rescue—once again. When Lady Hathaway had started talking about the accident, all he could hear was the rushing of water. Coming through the windows of the carriage. Rushing over the floor boards. He’d imagined it a thousand times, alone in the dark, thinking of how terrified they must have been. How cold.
He didn’t remember how he’d gotten from the dining table to the coach. The room had faded into nightmare, and then he was bouncing along on the way back to Nick’s house with Ruby beside him.
The rest of his clothes dropped to the floor. He climbed between the sheets, but sleep didn’t come. When he was the duke, he wouldn’t be able to come apart like that in a social setting.
When he was the duke.
He would have to accept it eventually. There was no one else with whom to trust his grandfather’s legacy. But Jasper wasn’t ready. When he thought of his grandfather, he thought of this solid anchor in the middle of all their lives. An immoveable fortress. An iron will. Jasper DeVere, damaged playboy reprobate, could not fill those shoes.
Not yet. Maybe not ever, but certainly not yet.
There was a soft knock on his door, followed by the drag of a door’s edge across carpet. There weren’t many people who would enter his room without waiting for an invitation. “Ruby, if you’ve come to lecture me, you should know—”
“It’s not Ruby.” Julia closed the door behind her.
Not at all. Even in a high-necked nightdress that dragged the floor with a dressing gown tied tightly around her, she set his pulse to racing. Her hair was down, tied in a braid. She looked impossibly sweet.
“Julia.”
She stepped closer, closing the distance between the door and the bed. “Jasper.”
He pushed himself up on the pillows, trying to gain some semblance of dignity. Julia climbed onto the far side of his bed, pulling her feet up underneath her to sit. “It’s time for us to talk.”
“Actually talk, or…” He had so many things he’d like to forget tonight. If she wanted him, he was through with refusing her.
“You don’t swim because your parents drowned,” she said. “That was the unhappy answer you didn’t want to tell me during our drive.”
Jasper’s body froze, like it always did when he thought of his parents. “Yes.”
“But you went on a boat in a lake with me, anyway.”
“Yes.”
She inched forward on her knees across the covers. “And you didn’t make love to me in the phaeton because you think I deserve a real romance.”
“Yes.”
She was close enough to touch him now. She reached out, tracing her fingers over the ridged muscles of his chest.
Jasper held her wrist, securing her hand against his heart. “I still think you deserve romance. As much as you can stand.”
“Do you know what I think I deserve?”
“What?”
“Passion. As much as I can stand. Maybe more than I can stand.”
Jasper groaned. His hold on her arm tightened, and his eyelids fell closed. The words echoed deep in his core.
“Unfortunately, that’s not why I’m here.”
His eyes opened. “No?”
“No.” She let out a deep sigh. She sat back against the headboard and dragged a pillow across her legs like a shield. “I’m here to talk. I just couldn’t help myself when I realized you didn’t have clothes on.”
In all his years as a famous debaucher, nothing resembling this had ever happened. “What did you come to talk about?”
“You. You’re not all right.”
He opened his mouth to deny it, but no words came out.
“Not just about swimming, or your parents. Your grandfather, too.”
“I’m—”
“Hiding. I know a great deal about hiding.” She sent another longing look at his chest. “I wish I didn’t, because then I wouldn’t see how it’s hurting you, and I could be seducing you instead of talking to you.”
There were a hundred ways for him to deflect her concern. He had used them all at one point or another. But just this once, he didn’t want to.
“We care about each other—you and I.”
Julia nodded. “We do.”
He’d known it, but it was something else to hear it confirmed. This thing was not just attraction. Their hearts were involved. “I’m not ready.”
“For?”
“To have to become him—my grandfather. I’m not ready. I can’t do it.”
She touched his arm, squeezing reassurance. “It’s going to happen whether you’re ready or not.”
“I know.”
“Do you?” She settled under his arm, warming his side.
“I do—because it’s what he wanted.” He knew it sounded ludicrous, but… “Every time he was sick, he would wait until I arrived to get better. It was a trick to get me to come home. The doctors swore he wasn’t pretending. He just had that kind of will. The kind that could stop death.”
“Until it didn’t,” Julia whispered.
“Yes.” He rubbed a hand across his eyes, exhausted by the day and every other day since his grandfather had passed.
Julia slipped her arms around him and held tight. Jasper brought his arm up to cover hers. She leaned her head against his chest and nodded. “You’re not supposed to be all right. Not right away.”
“Dukes have to be. They have to be impervious.”
“Right now, you’re just Jasper.”
He sank down, bringing her with him. She curled in against his chest, under his arm. His grandfather was gone. No matter how badly he wanted it, Jasper would never hear him laugh again. He’d never ride up to the house and see him smiling on the steps. The smells of pipe tobacco and cognac would fade from the study. The memories would fade, too, until Jasper had to struggle to recall what his grandfather’s voice sounded like. It would be as if Edward DeVere had never existed at all.
Julia held on to him, murmuring reassurance into his chest. Telling him about her fears—of living an unexceptional life, being a burden to her family, being forgotten.
In the darkest part of the night, they ran out of things to be afraid of and it was just peaceful silence. When sleep finally came for Jasper, it was brought by the rhythm of Julia’s soft, even breaths against his chest. It was a different feeling than any he’d ever known before—and one he was determined to keep.
Julia woke up with a naked man underneath her.
She must have crawled beneath the blankets, or he’d put her under them, because she was definitively under them now. The belt of her dressing gown had come loose while they slept. Her nightgown was bunched up around her hips. Jasper’s bare chest rose and fell beneath her cheek, and his naked thigh was wedged firmly between her legs. And like an idiot, Julia had been sleeping through it.
She let out a groan of self-pity. Jasper moved underneath her, flexing his thigh in his sleep. It was everything Julia could do to lie very, very still. If he woke up, he would likely put a stop to it. If she just lay still, surely there couldn’t be any harm in enjoying the feel of him for a few moments. She shifted her hips as slowly as she could manage, trying to find the ideal position from which to appreciate her good fortune.
It was too much. A rumbling noise vibrated through his chest, and suddenly Julia was pinned very happily between the mattress and Jasper. He buried his face in her neck, and his hands began to wander her body. When his palm closed over her breast, another happy rumble sounded—this time against her ear. His mouth traveled down, kissing his way across her neck. Down past her collarbone. When he reached the linen-covered bud of her nipple, he took it between his teeth and pulled.
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It didn’t hurt—far from it—but it was surprising enough that Julia cried out. She buried her fingers in his hair, encouraging him. Jasper answered her with a throaty hum. He swirled his tongue before pulling with his teeth again. It was…she was…goodness.
His other hand was not idle. He’d cupped her waist, kneading and brushing his fingers across the skin there, but when she cried out it began to travel again. Down her hip, across her thigh, up and back against the hypersensitive skin of the inside of her leg. When he touched between her legs, she jumped and let out a yelp.
Jasper froze. His teeth released her nipple and his head lifted. The fog of sleep slowly cleared from his eyes as he looked at her.
“Good morning,” Julia said. There was zero hope her face wasn’t bright pink with embarrassment.
“Good morning.” His hand retreated back to her thigh. “I owe you an apology. I thought I was dreaming.”
Julia would tell him what he could do with his apology. “Jasper.”
“Yes?”
“If you stop, I will never forgive you.” She pulled on the hair trapped between her fingers. “Ever.”
He dropped his chin to her chest. His lips curved against her sternum. His palm was still cupped around her breast. “I thought you just came to talk.”
“We talked.” She shifted her hips. “Now, seduction.”
“More passion than you can stand.”
“You were listening.”
The room was quiet for a moment. Then the hand resting on her thigh moved. His fingers drew a spiral against her skin. “Tell me something.”
“What?” The spirals circled up, in. Making slow progress toward her center.
“Do you ever touch yourself?” He was still looking at her, resting completely comfortably between her breasts. “Here?”
Pink flamed into crimson, but she wouldn’t lie to him. “Sometimes.”
Her answer elicited a smile. He scraped his teeth across her nipple again, just for a second. “How? Like this?”
The tips of his fingers brushed the curls between her legs. They teased, little whispering touches that sent hums of pleasure through her like fingers on a harp string.
“I—yes.”
“How about this?” He drew his finger through the damp cleft at her center. When he reached the top, his finger pulsed softly against the bead of nerves there.
It was maddening. She needed him to go faster. Use more pressure. Her whole body ached for it.
“Tell me. Is this what you do?”
“Yes.” She gasped it. Cried it. She moved her hips, seeking out what she wanted.
He tortured her with his teasing touches while his lips kissed a trail back up to her mouth. “What else? Show me.”
Julia reached down and grabbed his hand, holding it in place while she moved against his fingers. The rumbling growl vibrated through him again. His teeth scraped her neck, her earlobe. He let go of her breast and pinned her free hand above her head.
“Go on. Show me. Show me what you want.”
She pushed his fingers inside her, raising her hips off the bed to rock with them while the ache coiled tighter and tighter. He cursed, captured her mouth with his, and copied her movements with his tongue. Their hands clasped tight against the pillow in a grip that whitened their knuckles.
His weight on her chest pressed her into the mattress while she pressed back against his hand. She found a frantic rhythm that spoke to her, promised to take her where she wanted to go, and she gave into it. He abandoned her lips to murmur against her ear.
“You’re holding back, Julia. Let me hear you. Tell me how good it feels.”
She was so used to being quiet, she wasn’t certain she could give him what he wanted. But then he took control, doing things with his fingers she’d never dreamed of. When she finally erupted around his wicked, clever fingers, it was because he’d insisted—growling it into her ear like an order.
As she came down, he held her, kissing her and stroking gentle designs into her skin while she tried to remember who and where she was. Eventually Julia’s heart slowed back to a normal beat. Her mind took longer to come around. “Do you still want to apologize?”
His laughter shook the bed. “No. I’m not sorry at all.”
“Good.”
“You are a constant surprise.” Jasper nudged her leg. “Not just because you’re still wearing your slippers.”
Slippers! Julia scrambled to pull her nightgown down, dragging it over her feet. How could she have forgotten? How long had they been uncovered? What if he had seen? He hadn’t seen—he would have said something—but he could have.
“Are you all right?”
“Yes. I am. I just”—she slipped out from under his arm and off the bed—“I should get back. Nora will be looking for me.”
He sat up, confusion furrowing his brow. “Julia?”
She couldn’t stay—or explain. I’m terrified that you might see my foot, and then become completely repulsed by me. Not that he was like that, but…she could never be certain how someone would react until they did. She had to get out of here. “I’ll see you at breakfast?”
“I—”
She didn’t wait for the answer; she just rushed out the door.
Straight into Lady Ruby. “Lady Julia.”
Not again. There was no way Julia was equipped for the situation that was about to occur, so she mumbled an apology and kept walking.
Chapter Thirteen
Recent events had not gone according to Jasper’s plan. He had not planned to spend the evening baring his soul to the most extraordinary woman he’d ever met. He hadn’t planned to wake up between her legs or spend the morning hearing her moan. And he hadn’t planned to watch her literally run from him as if he’d grown a second set of arms.
Only one of those things constituted a problem in Jasper’s mind, and it was a problem he meant to fix. However, experience had taught him that sometimes Julia needed space. He went down to breakfast as if everything was business as usual.
“Nicholas. Amelia. Good morning.”
“It is, isn’t it?” Amelia’s smile was especially bright.
Nicholas just nodded and went back to his paper.
Jasper sat down with a cup of coffee and waited for a footman to fill his plate. While he did, Amelia picked up her plate and moved seats. He looked from the now-empty place setting across from him to her new position between him and Nicholas. “Amelia.”
“Jasper.”
Nick looked up. “Do I want to know?”
“No. Go back to ignoring us.”
He nodded to his wife and did as she asked.
“I take it you would like to speak to me?” Jasper asked.
Amelia nodded, still grinning.
His food arrived. He speared a piece of roasted potato. “Do you intend to use words, or should I start guessing?”
Amelia looked around and leaned close. “Was my sister in your room last night? Or this morning?”
“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”
She gasped. “She was!”
Jasper gestured for her to keep her voice down. “I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t say she wasn’t, and you would have, if she wasn’t.”
He had not gotten enough sleep for this kind of interrogation.
“Wherever Julia was last night and this morning, I’m sure she was there under the purest of intentions.”
Amelia snorted. “Is that why the maids are whispering about hearing some very distracting sounds coming from your room while they were lighting the fires this morning?”
For the love of— “Does Nicholas know?”
“No.”
They both looked at Nick out of the corner of their eyes. He continued to read the paper.
Amelia knowing what transpired posed both a troubling complication, and an unexpected solution. Out of respect for Julia’s privacy, he hadn’t wanted to ask Amelia’s advice on Julia’s odd behavior, but sin
ce Amelia already seemed to know, he wasn’t revealing anything by discussing it with her. “All right. She was with me.”
Amelia’s grin practically split her face.
“I’m flattered you’re so pleased about it.” Especially since he intended to be spending a great deal of time with her sister. Jasper had no intention of letting his and Julia’s attachment stay temporary—not after last night.
“Of course I’m pleased. I adore you.” Amelia’s practicality regarding the sensual pursuits was refreshing.
“I adore you, also.” And I adore your sister even more. “But there’s a problem.”
“A problem?” She looked around again. “During the—”
“No. That part—and we didn’t, by the way—but…what we did, no problems. Flawless. The problem was after.”
“What happened?”
“I’m not even entirely certain. One moment, she’s fine, and the next she’s jumping out of bed at a run.” Jasper had been basking in the overwhelming feeling of rightness, having her there in his bed when he woke up, when she’d just bolted. It didn’t make any sense.
“Did she say anything? Did you do anything? What time was it?”
Time? “I didn’t exactly check my watch, Amelia. Why would the time matter?”
“There are things—never mind. That’s probably not it. She seemed happy, and then she jumped up suddenly?”
“Yes.”
She frowned down at her plate.
Jasper forked a tomato slice and watched her ponder.
“Did you say anything?”
“Nothing outrageous.” Nothing like what he’d wanted to say, about wanting her in his bed every morning. Jasper had the impression Julia might need a little more coaxing before that kind of declaration. “I made a joke about her slippers, but—”
Amelia went very still. “Her slippers?”
So. It was something he’d said. “She was still wearing them. I commented on it, but I didn’t think I said anything that would hurt her. Not after last night. We talked for hours, about everything.”
“Not everything,” Amelia mumbled.
Jasper narrowed his eyes. “Is there something I should know?”
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