He knew she was. Her lips had parted in a gasp, and she was leaning into him. Jasper began by raining kisses and bites down on her neck while his fingers went to work on the buttons of her riding jacket. Julia angled her neck, silently asking him for more. No one could ever be more perfect.
The jacket peeled free of her shoulders and fell to the grass. His fingers went to the buttons of her shirt, making quick work. The white silk dropped to the ground. When he started undoing the fasteners of her skirt, he felt her tense.
“Don’t worry. I won’t go too far.”
The burgundy velvet slipped free, landing in a pool around her feet. Jasper ran his hands over her shoulders, pushing off the straps of her corset and shift. He felt her pulse racing beneath her skin. His palms dragged down her arms, across the flat boning where her corset covered her stomach. His lips brushed against her ear again.
“Breathe out.”
She had a dazed expression, and her lips were parted.
Jasper stepped closer, pinning her between his body and the boulder. His hand slipped lower, pressing against the juncture of her legs. “Breathe. Out.”
She exhaled.
Jasper gripped the bottom of the corset and pulled. The thick fabric jerked down, releasing her breasts from its confines. Julia gasped.
“Are you paying attention?” he asked. His palms slid up, covering them. His fingers pinched and pulled her nipples as he cupped the bare skin of her breasts.
“Yes.”
He kissed her neck. Paid homage to the curve of her shoulder.
“Jasper.”
His fingers circled her wrist. He laid her palm out flat on the boulder top, covering it with his. Their fingers wove together. His other hand returned to her thighs, found its way through the break in the fabric there, and began stroking her with wicked purpose. He rocked against her, pressing the heel of his hand in time with the press of his hips.
Julia moved against him until everything took up the pulsing rhythm he set. Her heartbeat. Her breath. Even the lapping of the waves on the lake. She let her neck go slack, dropping her head down and closed her eyes.
Jasper’s teeth scraped her shoulder. He wanted her there with him, feeling everything. He wanted her to get swept up and overwhelmed. In front of them, the water of the lake shifted and shimmered in the sun. A groundskeeper walked out toward the boathouse, laying rope and tools beside it.
“Jasper.”
The second syllable cracked as he altered the curve of his fingers. “Hm?”
“There’s someone. A groom. At the boathouse.” Her words broke off into a moan. Her knuckles went white as she gripped the rock and tried again. “If he looks over here, he’ll…”
Jasper didn’t stop. He didn’t even slow down. His lips touched her neck. He murmured “Then you should be very quiet.”
“I—”
The pace sped up. He curved his fingers, working them into her in a quick, shallow staccato. “Can you, love? Can you stay quiet?”
He felt her react to the game. Felt the shiver run through her, and her hips move faster as the thought of being discovered inspired her to new heights. A cry broke from her throat.
“I don’t think you can,” he told her. “I don’t think you want to.”
Wicked man. He was made for her.
She was made for him, too. No matter what anyone thought or said. It was time she showed him how much he belonged to her. Julia reached back, putting her hand between them. She stroked the rigid length of him, squeezing. “Can you stay quiet?”
He swore, grabbing her hand and trapping it with the other on top of the boulder. She pushed back against him with her hips. Her curves, his angles. Julia felt depraved, and for once she’d earned it.
She threw her head back, face pressed against his they rocked together, his body curved around hers. “Do you touch yourself, Jasper? Do you think of me when you do?”
The sound he made was agony.
It was hers, and she loved it.
“Show me.” She threw his words back at him with a laugh, feeling every bit the temptress. This was what he liked. He needed her to see him, feel him, want him. Needed her smooth hands wrapped around the length of him. Julia needed it, too.
Jasper put his back to the rock and undid the buttons of his jacket. She moved to watch, trapping her lower lip between her teeth to keep from going to him. His jacket shrugged off and he pulled his shirt from his trousers.
Julia moved close, flattening her palms against his abdomen. She traced her finger along the edge of his waistband. “Do you take your time?”
“No,” he answered honestly.
“Well, I’m going to.” With deliberate leisure, Julia undid the first button on his trousers. “Take off your shirt.”
Jasper pulled his cravat from his collar. She popped the second button loose. He unfastened the buttons of his shirt in double time. Julia leaned forward and pressed her lips to the column of his throat as the skin was revealed. Her tongue flicked out.
“Is this how you think of me? Is this what you imagine me doing?” Her palm slipped into his pants, between fabric and flesh, and caressed the length of him.
“I—” It came out as a groan.
She explored the textures of him with curious fingertips. So smooth, and yet so rigid. Her hand closed over him. “Is this what you do? Is this what you think about?”
His hips pushed forward against her hand in answer.
“Show me. Show me what you do.”
Jasper’s hand wrapped around hers. He thrust a slow rhythm and showed her what he liked. “Julia.”
She kissed him, cutting off his gasp.
They moved together while she learned the secrets to his body. She’d never been a particularly diligent student, but this was a subject to which she could certainly apply herself. Before long he was gripping the edge of the rock, accepting her touch with an expression that was half pleasure, half pain. “You’re killing me. Keep going.”
She’d do more than continue. She’d up the stakes.
“This isn’t the only thing you think about, is it?” Julia kissed his chest. Her teeth scraped a line across his skin. “Do you think about my mouth? What if I wrapped my lips around you right now? Right here?”
It was the right thing to say. Jasper groaned and went over the edge, shuddering into her hands. Julia couldn’t help but feel immensely pleased with herself.
Until Jasper sank down to his knees.
She frowned down at him. “Are you all right?”
“Very.” He took her hips in his hands and pulled her forward. The pressure of his lips against her pelvic bone sent her eyes wide. “You will think about my mouth.”
He parted the fabric of her linen riding pants and tasted her. Julia’s knees buckled and her hands gripped his shoulders. She would never, ever tire of this. If he spent the rest of his life with his tongue buried inside her, it would be enough. Forget titles and families and the bloody ton. This was all she needed.
She buried her hands in his hair and let him work, crying out and not giving a damn who heard. His fingers joined his mouth and together they pushed her up to the limit of what she could bear.
“Jasper. Jasper!” She called out his name as the feeling overtook her in waves.
He caught her, lowering her to the ground.
She blinked up at him from the grass with a lazy smile on her lips. “You’re very good at that.”
“Just with you.”
“Liar.”
It felt like she had died. As if she were no longer attached to her body. She had floated away somewhere into the ether. “Do you think the groundskeeper heard us after all?”
Jasper wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on her shoulder. “Shall we ask him?”
She nudged his chest with her elbow. “Wicked man.”
“Always.”
They couldn’t stay like that forever, but they stayed for a while. When it was time to go back, Jasper helped her dress. Ju
lia did her best to hinder him getting dressed. Eventually, though, it couldn’t be helped. They had to go back or they would be missed. Julia was tempted to stay, just so Ruby could be the one to find them.
Instead, they were met in the hall by an extremely irate Nora. One look at the maid’s face and Julia knew what was wrong. “I lost track of time.”
“Oh, well then, I’m sure that will make everything all right.” Nora started pushing her toward her bedroom.
Jasper kept stride with them. “Is something wrong?”
“I haven’t kept my schedule for the day. Everything will be fine.”
“You hope,” Nora grumbled.
“Do you want me to—”
“No! No. It’s fine. I’ll be down in a bit. You go on.” She smiled at him and he smiled back. For a moment, they were right back against that rock—until Nora shoved her through the bedroom door and the moment was gone.
Nora handed her the chamber pot before putting water on the fire to heat. While Julia saw to the most pressing task, the maid kept up a steady stream of griping. “Didn’t get a proper night’s sleep. Haven’t been eating nearly enough. Then you run off for hours on end with that rogue.”
“He’s a duke. I don’t think they can be rogues.”
“Of course they can. That one’s the worst of the lot.” Nora spirited the chamber pot away and came back to press a hand to Julia’s forehead.
“Please, Nora. I don’t have…”
All color leached out of the maid’s face.
“…a fever. No. Nora, I can’t.”
There was no mistaking the fear creeping in to Nora’s eyes. “I’ll undo your buttons, and have Lord Nicholas call the doctor.”
“Maybe I’m just warm,” Julia pleaded. She’d certainly done plenty to warrant an uncharacteristic flush.
“Maybe so. If you are, the doctor will say so, and I’ll only have one or two new gray hairs to pluck out.”
By the time Nora came back from alerting Nicholas and Amelia, Julia knew she wasn’t going to be that lucky. The dry, warm feeling had intensified and muscle aches were beginning in her lower back. Within hours, she was shivering and sweating, unable to keep her eyes open. Someone brought her water. Pressed cold cloths to her head. Every once in a while, they tried to make her eat, but then the violent retching would begin.
They were whispering, out on the edges of her comprehension. Worried words. Words of fear.
It was a kidney infection. She’d had them before. It was nothing to worry about.
Julia rolled over, clutching a pillow to her chest. Violent chills shook her body. Unseen hands piled blankets on top of her. Stuffed hot rocks under her sheets. Mia’s warm shape crawled in beside her.
“If you think this is going to get you out of letting Jasper see your feet, think again.”
Julia laughed, but it was a weak chuckle that had no sound. “If I die, do I still have to?”
“Yes, but there will be no dying.”
“If you insist.”
“I do.”
She drifted in and out for a while after that. At some point, she kicked off all the covers, suddenly too warm and sweating profusely, and Mia left her side. Then later, someone held her hand, and she didn’t need to open her eyes to know it was Jasper. He had the best way of touching her. Even now, when she felt wretched, the soft pressure of his thumb kneading against her palm felt like heaven.
“Impatient man. I said I would be down in a bit.”
His hand closed around hers, squeezing. When he spoke, his voice was thick. “You know how I hate to wait for anyone.”
She smiled. “Too bad.”
His lips pressed against her knuckles. “Did they tell you what the doctor said?”
Julia didn’t answer. She knew what the risks were, but she was too exhausted to want to waste words on that. Instead, she rolled onto her side, bringing their joined hands up to her cheek. “Tell me something nice.”
“Something nice?”
Julia nodded, eyes closed. “Something that has nothing to do with doctors or fevers or fluids.”
He shifted, running his fingers through the hair at her temples and the nape of her neck. Heaven. “When I was a boy, I once put a giant toad in Ruby’s chamber pot. Somehow, it stayed in there until she pulled the pot from under her bed, and then it leapt out and startled her half to death.”
Imagining Ruby’s face made the mattress shake with her laughter. “That’s not nice.”
“Well then, how about this?” He leaned in close, so only she could hear. “I love you, Julia Bishop.”
Love. Not want. Not need. Love.
“Jasper, you can’t—” The chills started again, and suddenly it was too much, trying to care why they weren’t supposed to be in love with each other. He made her happy, even when everything else was miserable. To hell with what they couldn’t do. “I love you, too.”
She felt his exhale of relief across her cheek, and it made her smile. He hadn’t been sure she loved him back.
“Will you stay?” she asked.
“As long as you’ll let me.”
Julia drifted off to sleep to the feeling of his fingers combing through her hair.
Chapter Eighteen
His grandmother was every inch the duchess, even in grief. She sat on the edge of the Duke’s bed, holding his hand and smiling down at him. Tears ran down her cheeks, but her spine stayed straight. Her shoulders never hunched.
“It’s all right, Edward. It’s all right, now. Everything will be all right.”
The wheeze of his grandfather’s breath filled the room. It was an ever-slowing metronome. They all subconsciously counted the beats between.
“Jasper,” his grandfather rasped.
Jasper stepped forward, leaning in over his grandmother’s shoulder. “I’m here.”
“Remember what I told you.” The words were a struggle. Each pause seemed like the next word would never come. “I’m so proud of you. Both of you. My remarkable grandchildren.”
Behind him, Ruby began to cry. Soft, muffled sobs.
“Lillian?”
His grandmother lifted the Duke’s hand. “Yes, my love.”
“I will count every minute without you, but don’t hurry. I’ve never minded waiting for you.”
Sitting by Julia’s bedside was a unique agony, but he stayed. Even though he wanted to run off to a pub or the continent, and do anything but sit still and watch her suffer—he stayed. He told himself this wasn’t like the last bedside he’d sat next to. Julia would be all right. Everyone said so. She was strong and stubborn, and she’d come through this before. He knew that, but it didn’t stop the memories from toying with him in the silence of the night.
It didn’t stop him from thinking about Ruby, either, or the way she used to beg him not to go before he set off on one of his wild adventures. She had stopped begging a few years ago. Now she just glared, or lectured. The truth was—Ruby never did anything dangerous, so Jasper had never had to spend an anxious night worrying over her. If it felt anything like this, he owed her an apology. Or twenty.
Nora’s coming and going broke up his reminiscing. Eventually she stopped bustling about and took a chair by the fire. Jasper watched Julia, sleeping restlessly. Nora watched him.
“I can’t quite figure you out,” the maid said eventually.
“How’s that?”
“You’re a rake through and through—that much I know. But rakes don’t stay when it stops being fun and easy.”
Jasper didn’t owe her any explanations, but he was growing tired of everyone making assumptions about his character. “I believe in living life to its fullest potential. Taking pleasure where you find it.”
Nora scowled.
“And embracing love with an open heart when you find that.”
“Is that what you’ve found with my lady?”
“Yes.” He loved her. He wasn’t going to change his mind. There were certainly less complicated women for Jasper to love, bu
t this was the one who had stolen his heart with quick wit and reckless inclinations.
Nora blinked at him. “If she couldn’t give you children, would you still want her?”
The question hit him like a jolt. He hadn’t thought as far as children, for himself or for them. He thought about it now, but it didn’t change anything.
“Is Julia barren?”
“Don’t know. Maybe. Could be.”
“I don’t need children. Pregnancy would be harder on her than most, wouldn’t it?”
“A duke needs an heir.”
“I need Julia. My sister’s children can have the title.” In fact, that wasn’t a half-bad plan. Ruby needed some sort of motivation to get her to the altar, and she was abysmally dedicated to being responsible.
Nora’s eyes narrowed. “What if the time comes that Lady Julia can’t walk?”
Another thing he hadn’t considered. “We’ll figure something out.”
Nora wasn’t finished. “She can’t go flying off on spontaneous adventures. There is a schedule she has to follow.”
“I’m learning it.”
“Traveling is difficult.” Nora pinned him with the intensity of her stare. “It might kill her.”
Looking at Julia, pale as the sheets beneath her, he knew he would do everything in his power to keep that from happening. He couldn’t lose her. He wouldn’t. But she liked being cooped up about as much as he did. He knew from experience there was far more to life than being safe. No amount of security would satisfy her if she never truly got to live.
“We’ll take it slow, and I’ll hire excellent doctors to travel with us. And you, if you’ll come.”
Nora’s eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t stay in England? It’s safer for her here.”
“If she wants to travel, I’ll take her, and we’ll make it as safe as we can.”
Nora sighed. “Of course I’ll come. It’ll take years off my life, but no one else can manage her sass.”
It didn’t escape Jasper that Nora was no longer speaking in the hypothetical. Whatever test she’d been administering, he appeared to have passed it.
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