by Laney Powell
Jax stared at me, and I fell into the dark eyes. How long we stared at one another, I didn’t know. He broke off the stair to lean into me and kiss me with a hard passion that I couldn’t deny. I didn’t want to.
At that point, I forgot anything else.
Jax
Watching the red spray onto the props she’d brought made lights flash in front of my eyes. This cannot be happening. Not right now. It was like being back out in the field. All that was missing was the sound of something blowing up.
Before I could get myself together, Casey was in front of me, her hands on my face. The touch from her calmed me down and inflamed me all at once. I stared at her. Did she know what she did to me? I saw something in her face, In her eyes. It steadied me in this room that I’d seen before.
I bent my head down and kissed her. I let all the longing, all the desire I’d had for her since the moment I’d met her fall into that kiss. It let me shut out the room, the memories, everything.
There was nothing else but Casey, and this moment.
She kissed me back with equal hunger. It was good to know it wasn’t just me. I pulled her close, lifting her a bit, and leaned down to kiss along her neck.
The moan, soft, breathy, and so small I would have missed it had I not been completely focused nearly caused me to lose control. She was a goddess, and she was in my arms.
She held my head close to her, and I moved down her neck to the edge of her shirt, my hands running up her sides. She had a runner’s build, firm and lean. Then I ran my hands down her back and that gorgeous ass, lifting her up and carrying her to the desk that was in the corner of the room. I set her on it, shoving aside some props we’d just spent an hour getting right.
That didn’t matter. I’d help her put them back later.
She kissed me again, and I felt my cock nearly spring out of my pants. That would have to wait. She was finally here, next to me, with me, and I needed to make sure that Casey felt like the risk was worth it.
Because she was worth it.
She put her hands up my shirt, her light touch tickling me. “Is that the legendary six pack?”
I laughed. “Eight. I’m happy to show it to you.” I thanked whatever it was that had kept me working out even after I didn’t need to anymore. Pulling my shirt over my head, I let it fall to the floor. “Is it all you expected?”
She tapped her lip with her finger. “It might need a closer inspection.”
“I’m at your service.”
She leaned down and ran her tongue along the length of my abs. Seeing her do that made me think of where else I’d like to see her tongue, and I felt my cock get harder.
Casey saw it too and ran her hand along its length, a teasing look on her face.
“Jesus, Casey,” I groaned.
“Kiss me again,” she whispered.
I didn’t need to be asked twice. My hands went up her shirt, pushing her bra out of the way.
“Oh,” she moaned.
Her legs went around me, bringing me between her legs. I could feel her heat on me, and it made me curse every piece of clothing we were wearing. I pinched her nipples, just a little, and her head fell back, her mouth open.
She was the most glorious thing I’d ever seen. I bent my head to her chest while my hand moved up her leg, stroking her sweet spot.
“Oh, God, Jax,” she said.
I moved my hand up to her waistband and dipped down into her panties. The feel of her skin was amazing, and when my fingers touched her, flicking at her clit and just inside her, she fell against my chest with a sigh.
“I’ve wanted to—” I started.
The door banged open.
“Hey, Case, are you almost fini---” a woman’s voice said.
Casey jumped like someone had poured ice water over her. She yanked down her shirt and edged away from me, pushing my hands off her and out of her pants as she crossed her arms over her chest.
While I wasn’t happy that she’d done it, her quick reflexes were impressive. Annoying as fuck, but impressive.
I turned around, not bothering to try to pick up my shirt. No sense in it. Besides, I wasn’t ashamed. Being here with Casey was exactly where I wanted to be.
“Hey, Stacy. Yes, I’m pretty much done in here.”
This must be the one Casey had mentioned a couple of times. She was polite, and very much ignoring what she’d walked in on.
“It looks good. Thanks for taking care of it. Make sure you sign up for your shifts before you leave.” Stacy met my eyes, and then walked out, shutting the door behind her.
“Oh, shit,” Casey said, standing up and moving away from me. “I can’t believe that just happened.”
“What am I missing here? She caught us—”
“Practically having sex in her parents’ house!”
“We weren’t having sex. Making out, maybe.”
“It doesn’t matter, Jax. I don’t date. And I don’t make out.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t have time. I have so much to do, I don’t have time. I watch my sisters. They get all involved in a guy, and let other things go, and then boom! He’s not around anymore, and then, they have to try to put all the things back together they’ve been ignoring. I’m not going to do that. This isn’t going to happen. You’re a great guy, it’s not you. It’s me. I need to go,” she finished.
“No, Casey, wait. It doesn’t need to be like that.”
She rolled her eyes. “Sure, Jax. That’s what all guys say.” Then she moved around, picking up the boxes and loading them up with the trash and the bags.
I watched her for a moment, her movements jerky. Was she crying? I was missing something here.
“What happened to you?” I asked finally.
“It doesn’t matter. Thank you for your help. I have to go.” She moved to the door, holding a box. “Don’t worry about the rest of this stuff. I’ll deal with it later. And Jax,” she opened the door, walking out and looking over her shoulder, “Please don’t come by the house anymore. I don’t want to run together.”
Then she shut the door behind her.
I stood still, trying to process what had just happened.
As I drove home, I still had no idea. And I had no idea how to make it right.
Casey
I raced from the house, desperate to get home, and to forget all of this. Thankfully, I didn’t see anyone as I left. I was even more grateful I hadn’t seen Stacy. She was a good friend, and if I asked her not to say anything, she wouldn’t.
Besides, it was a good thing she’d come in when she did. I would probably be naked and not even thinking about the consequences of getting involved with a guy like Jax. There would be no halfway with him. He would pull me in, absorb me.
Become my whole life.
I had a life, and I didn’t want to sacrifice it. Not for anyone. Not when I’d be out of school at the end of the year, and Jax was still here.
Nope. Not worth it. No matter how good the sex teaser felt. And holy hell, did it feel good. Part of me could have cried at not getting to have sex with that man. I’d licked his abs, for God’s sake. When had I ever felt compelled to lick anyone’s abs? I laughed a little to myself. I knew which part of me was crying the most.
“Get over it. We’ll take a cold shower when I get home,” I added.
My body wasn’t interested. I sighed. I understood. One of the drawbacks to swearing off dating was that I was resigned to no sexy naked times with anyone. The way Jax touched me, the way he looked at me—it sent all those neglected senses—and body parts, into overdrive. My body wanted me to turn the car around and go back to him, beg his forgiveness for flaking out, and spend the night having hot and sweaty sex.
You know, to make up for not running tonight. The thought made me laugh, which ended in a half-sob. I wanted him. I wanted him more than any other guy I’d ever known.
But I couldn’t have him. I had a plan, and he wasn’t in it. So there it was.
; I’d just have to get used to it. It was a good thing I wasn’t afraid of solo sex. Damn it. That looked like it was all that was on the menu tonight, and I had no one to blame but me. I’d stuck to my plan for so long, however, that I wasn’t willing to give it up.
Not even for someone as amazing and delicious as Jax.
A week later, my heart hurt. It wasn’t in any actual physical pain, but it was hurting. Jax had taken me at my word, and he hadn’t come by the house to go running, or to talk, or anything.
While that was what I’d told him I wanted, a part of me, the part with my heart, was kicking my own ass all over the place. I missed him. His quiet presence, his being right now in the moment when he was with me. The way I felt when I was with him.
I’d told him to go. He’d listened. I didn’t have anyone to blame but myself.
Not to mention, I was dreaming about him. We were back in the room in the haunted house, or some room like it. He was leaning over me, and I loved the feeling of him all around me. Every single morning, before it was light out, I woke up sweating, with the sheets tangled around me, and gasping from the amazing sex I’d just had.
After the fourth morning in a row, I gave up trying to go back to sleep, and went to take a shower. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and wow, did I look like hell.
“Be careful what you wish for, right?”
My reflection had nothing good to say to me. Not one word. I stuck out my tongue and headed for the showers. Today was going to be a long day because I had my first shift at the haunted house. Maybe I could squeeze in a nap after class, so I didn’t fall asleep in the middle of my time.
I’d gone back to finish cleaning up and making sure everything was ready only once. I wanted to cry when I looked at the desk in the corner. And then I wanted to kick myself, both for wanting to cry and insisting on sticking to a plan that looked stupid and ridiculous right now.
I kept seeing Jax’s face, first when he’d dropped the bottle of fake blood, and then when I’d walked out on him. Both of his expressions were killing me, at least as I remembered them. This had been, I thought as I washed my hair, one of the worst weeks of my life.
Even my sorority sisters noticed. I was pretty focused and driven most of the time. They teased me about it, but they knew how important this was to me. Now I was dragging around looking mopey and pissed. Stacy, bless her, hadn’t said anything to me about Jax other than she hoped I was all right.
It was pretty clear I was not all right. But at least she hadn’t gossiped, and she left me alone in my misery. Everyone else in the house must have figured out that Jax and I were no longer a thing because no one said anything.
I didn’t know whether to be annoyed or thankful.
As I got ready to face the day, I decided that I would try to smile, and make the best of it. I’d told him to go. I’d made it clear, after practically trying to strip us both out of our clothes, that I’d wanted nothing to do with him.
So I had to live with it. But wow did it suck.
Jax
After Casey had run from the room, I stood there for a moment, then I picked up my shirt, and headed out. I had no idea what had happened. I mean, I knew what had happened. Her friend walked in, and she ran. Like she was scared, or ashamed.
Neither of which did anything for my ego. Neither was good for a relationship.
So why was she practically begging to have sex with me? I didn’t understand it.
I ran every night, pushing myself harder, and running longer distances. I felt my anger, the anger that I’d worked so hard to manage, coming back. I didn’t like it, but I felt powerless to stop it.
She was right. This wasn’t me. It was her. And I was right. Something had happened. All these things we were both right about, and I still wasn’t with her. Being right sucked sometimes.
Finally, I got sick of myself, and when I woke the next morning, I decided that I was going to make the best of this. I’d wanted to go to college for the last ten years. I’d worked my ass off in the military so that I would be able to. I was going to enjoy it even if something was missing.
As I walked to my first class, it felt good to shake off the pouty bastard mood that had been with me all week. I was thinking about what to do with myself after my classes when someone stopped in front of me.
She was petite, shorter than Casey. She had her arms crossed over her chest, and she was glaring. God, did they all learn how to do that in a handbook or something? It made me think, What did I do?
“You’re Jax, right?”
“I am. You are?”
“My name is Lola. You don’t know me, but I’m one of Casey’s sorority sisters.”
“OK. I’m not sure why we’re having this conversation, but—”
“I’m talking, pal. What did you do to Casey?”
“What did I do? I didn’t do anything?”
“Then why is she dragging around like someone just shot her pony?”
I felt a thrill that Casey was as miserable as I was. That must mean she cared right? Then I told myself I was a total dick for wishing that on her. Then I looked at Lola. “Shot her pony? That’s pretty disturbing. And why are you asking me this?”
“Because Casey keeps all this sort of thing to herself. Besides, I know for damn sure you’re not part of The Plan.”
“The plan? What are you talking about?”
She eyed me with a great deal of speculation. I felt myself getting twitchy under that gaze. Lola would be a fine addition to the CIA, or some other agency that specialized in interrogation. Or a drill instructor. New recruits would piss themselves under her stare.
“You have time to grab a coffee?”
“I have a class in half an hour.”
“You have time then. Come on.” She turned and headed toward the student center, sure that I would follow.
Which I did. Drill instructors would kill for whatever it was Lola had.
“OK, what’s the plan?”
She laughed, and some sternness faded. “No, no. Show it the proper respect. The. Plan. All caps. Casey has a plan, and guys, and parties, and fun—those aren’t part of it.”
“Why not?” I thought Casey was perfect, but maybe there was something really bad I didn’t know.
“She’s got a scholarship that is grade dependent, and she also wants to graduate in four years. It’s not easy, with her major. Then she’s headed straight for grad school. Probably here,” she added. “But she still has to get in.”
“I’m not an idiot, but I know there’s something I’m missing. What is The Plan, all caps? And why does that mean she doesn’t do anything fun?”
“How much did she tell you about herself?”
“Not a lot,” I admit.
We get a coffee while Lola tells me a little about how Casey grew up, what she faced. And now it starts to make sense. Sort of.
“There was also freshman year,” Lola adds.
“What happened?”
“She fell hard for this guy named Brandon. Total ass. He was in a frat, and she thought it was true love and all that. So after they’d been dating a while, she goes over to his house, and he totally humiliates her in front of all the guys who are there. Tells her they aren’t dating. They’re just friends. And then everyone starts to laugh.”
I feel my face burn with anger. What a fucking douche bag.
Lola sees my anger, and nods. “Yeah, it was pretty awful. I was there, and I got her the hell out of there. She still won’t go to parties at that house. Even though Brandon graduated, she just won’t. She said then that she had a plan, and it was her own fault for not sticking to it. So ever since then, she doesn’t date, or party a lot, or do much more than hang out with us.”
I considered all that she’d told me. “I appreciate you giving me some backstory, but why are you doing it?”
The drill instructor was back in a flash. “Because I love her, like we all do. And ever since she met you, she’s been different. Oh,” she waved
a hand, “She still has The Plan, and is still insane over her classes, but she was happier. We all saw it.”
“Well, she’s the one who called things off.”
“Of course, she did. Her last boyfriend totally exposed and humiliated her in front of tons of people! I’m sure you scare the hell out of her. But that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing.”
“You’re really interfering in her life.”
Lola smiled, and it changed her entire demeanor. “I’m the bossy bitch. I know it. That’s what I do. Be pushy and interfere. I’m not telling you what to do, Mr. Navy Seal. I’m just letting you know how things are.”
“Marine,” I say automatically.
“Whatever.”
The barista calls her name, and she turns to go. “Listen, all I’m saying is that I think you were good for her. And that she’s on a shift at the haunted house tonight. You should see her nurse’s outfit! I’ve heard a good nurse can make it all better. Cure anything, even.” Lola’s eyes go wide. “All the guys love it. Anyway, I gotta go. See ya!” With a wave, she leaves me standing there.
Information is always a good thing. But just as it was in my former life, the trick is to figure out what the hell to do with it.
As I take my coffee and resume my trek to class, I’m wondering just who ‘all the guys are’ and how Lola knows they love Casey’s costume. Maybe I need to check it out for myself. Maybe.
Jax
After Casey had run from the room, I stood there for a moment, then I picked up my shirt, and headed out. I had no idea what had happened. I mean, I knew what had happened. Her friend walked in, and she ran. Like she was scared, or ashamed.
Neither of which did anything for my ego. Neither was good for a relationship.
So why was she practically begging to have sex with me? I didn’t understand it.