“Sure,” he says, drawing the words out.
“Great. Talk to you then.”
I hang up the phone quickly when Audra knocks on my open door.
“Hey,” I say, tossing my phone on my bed as casually as possible, but not casually at all. It feels more like I was throwing it at my bed as if it was on fire.
“Hey. Keegan and I are going to watch a movie and have popcorn. What are you up to tonight?”
“I’m kind of tired still, so I was thinking about crawling in bed with a book.”
“Okay. Are you sure you don’t want to join us?”
An invitation? Seriously. Is she trying to cause a fight with her boyfriend? The last time the three of us hung out you, could tell he wasn’t happy about it. He was glaring at me the entire night without trying to hide his disappointment in Audra’s choice in friends.
He made me uncomfortable. In my own house. Audra seemed to be oblivious to the situation until he gave her a twenty-minute lecture about her living situation before he left. The same lecture he’s given her a few times since they started dating. He must think the walls of our apartment are reinforced concrete or something because I’ve heard every conversation they’ve had.
Either that, or he doesn’t care.
My bet would be on the latter.
“No thanks. You two have fun,” I say, turning my back to her, pretending to choose a book from my shelf.
“You know, he was telling me about a friend of his this afternoon who happens to be recently single. I was thinking maybe the four of us could grab dinner this weekend.”
A double date? With the man who thinks I’m the spawn of Satan himself? I’ll pass.
“I have plans this weekend, but thanks anyway.” With my back still to Audra, I roll my eyes. The thought of spending time with Keegan by choice is laughable.
“Come on, Justine. You haven’t dated anyone since—”
“Please don’t say his name,” I beg, interrupting her before she has the chance.
The last man I “dated” according to Audra was two years ago. I haven’t spoken his name since we broke up. I try not to think about him ever. My relationship with him was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. I tried to make it work, I thought I loved him, but in the end, I was the only one trying. I was the only one that cared. That became evident when I found him in bed with another woman.
“Just think about it. If not this weekend, maybe next week. After work one night.”
“I’ll think about it,” I lie.
Closing my door behind her, I hear Audra laughing a few minutes later, hollering at Keegan to stop tickling her. For as much of a prude as he is, he likes to find ways to touch her. He’s always tickling her, putting his hands on her hips or back. He swats her butt on occasion when he thinks no one is looking.
Keegan strikes me as a sheep in wolf’s clothing.
He plays the part he’s supposed to play, but on the inside, he’s really as dirty as those he judges. If he thought he could sleep with Audra and no one would find out, I’m sure he would. Like I said, we all have needs.
Snagging a historical romance off my shelf, I crawl under the covers. After five minutes it’s obvious that I won’t be able to focus on my book. Snagging my phone, I text Allison. I need advice and as much as I might regret asking for her opinion, she’s great at giving advice. Probably because she doesn’t sugarcoat things like most people. She’s not going to tell you what you want to hear; she’s going to tell you the truth.
There was a point in time when I wanted to be more like her. It was a fleeting moment. I realized quickly that she was not the best role model. Now, our relationship is more about survival. She’s a great friend as long as you’re on the right side of the table. When Emerson first started, she wasn’t on the right side. It was Allison, Megan, and I against her. Allison wanted everyone to know all about Em. She started rumors and told anyone that would listen about her suspicions.
For the first time ever, she was right. There was something between Ryder and Em, putting the rumors to bed.
I don’t want to become a victim of her next rumor. Asking for her advice is chancing I will be.
ME: Need advice. Can you meet up for a drink?
ALLISON: Of course. The bar, 30 minutes?
ME: Perfect. See you then.
Quickly changing, I slip into my favorite pair of jeans and a nice top. I’m not trying to impress anyone, but if I know Allison at all, she’s going to be dressed up. She’ll be on the prowl for her next “victim” in a way. She’s always looking, never settling.
The bar is packed when I arrive. Scanning the room, I spot Allison at a table in the corner, waving her hands over her head until I wave back.
“Hey, girl. What’s on your mind?” she asks as soon as I sit down. “Does this have anything to do with the massive bouquet of flowers someone sent you today?”
“Sort of,” I confess as the waitress approaches and takes my order. Tequila. Two shots. Followed by a glass of white wine.
“Wow. You must really be struggling,” Allison insinuates with the raising of an eyebrow.
“I am, but not for the reasons you think. I like him, Ally. He’s sweet. He’s a great listener. The only thing is that he lives so far away. How is that even supposed to work? I feel like a puppet on a string. As soon as I fall for him, someone’s going to cut my chords and I’m going to be left in a heap on the floor crying from a broken heart.”
Backtracking, I tell her about our conversation today, the card he sent with the flowers and plans for this upcoming weekend. I also tell her about Audra’s invitation tonight and the fact that she’s trying to set me up. That gets a good laugh out of Ally.
“You’re overthinking it, Justine. Why don’t you just go with the flow? See what happens. Maybe the fact that he’s not here is a good thing. It makes the time you get to spend together more special.”
Is she going soft on me? Where has my no-nonsense friend gone? Why isn’t she telling me to pull up my big girl britches and figure my shit out?
“Look,” she continues as I down both my shots. “I’ll be honest with you. He seemed nice. I still don’t believe you didn’t fuck him senseless. I would have, for sure. His body… damn. Not the point, though. If he’s sending you flowers, wanting to come see you and trying to make it work, you’re in control. You’re calling the shots. For what it’s worth, this might be a good thing for you. You can control the pace. If things aren’t working or you change your mind, you can drop him in an instant. He’s at your whim, and I think he knows it.”
That’s great and all, but relationships only work if the balance of power is… balanced. I don’t want control over him; I want this to be mutually beneficial.
Chapter Four
“Thursday night?” I repeat.
“Yeah. I don’t have anything important going on Friday, so I thought I would make it a long weekend,” Devon explains to me again.
“So, tomorrow then. What time do you think you’ll be here?” I ask, my knee bouncing under my desk. Allison is staring at me from down the hall, giving me a curious look because I’m covering my mouth as I talk into the phone and try to keep my voice as low as possible.
When he first mentioned coming up this weekend, I was only slightly nervous. More excited than anything. A bit hesitant because I wasn’t sure this would be a good thing. After talking to Ally and texting back and forth with Devon the last two days, I’m feeling much better about things. I was overthinking it. I’m good at that. My tendency is to look for the bad in any situation so I’m prepared for the worst.
There is no bad in this situation.
Not that I can find. Not yet, anyway.
“It won’t be until late. I have a meeting that probably won’t get over until close to six o’clock, which is seven o’clock your time. With traffic, even if I leave from the office, I won’t be there until after ten. Why don’t we plan on breakfast Friday morning? Same place we went to Sunday. Does that s
ound good?”
“Perfect,” I chirp, the word coming out broken.
“Are you okay, Justine?” he asks sending my nerves into overdrive. “If you don’t want me to come up, I don’t have to.”
“No, it’s not that,” I reply, attempting to sound confident in my answer. “I’m just nervous. I know I sound stupid but it’s the truth. You make me nervous.”
“Well, you make me nervous too. I’m also excited to see you again,” he confesses.
There’s a long pause, the line is silent as I wait for him to continue. It sounded like there was more he had to say. When he doesn’t continue, I make up an excuse to get off the phone with a promise to call him later tonight when I get home.
The truth is, I wasn’t sure what to say. I already confessed that he made me nervous. Was I excited? Of course, but I’m still hesitant. Ryder’s words haunt me. His warning that Devon lives far away. It’s only been three days since I’ve seen him, and he’s already planning on coming back.
That can’t happen all the time.
We both have busy lives, jobs. I know I can’t travel to Chicago every weekend, and I can’t imagine he can travel here that often either. Maybe this weekend is a fluke, an opportunity that won’t come again for months. I have to be realistic about this.
Devon might be a passing attraction. If nothing else, I need to protect myself from getting hurt. If I allow myself to get attached to him, more than I already am after only a few days, I’m going to fall hard when it ends. And if I’m going into this with my eyes wide open, this will end.
Maybe not this weekend or next. But over time, it will have to end. Relationships are hard work. Even when you live close to each other. Add distance and they’re even harder; they require more work and a ton of trust in the other person. The only way to really trust someone is to know them. How can I get to know him if I barely see him?
“Was that Devon?” Allison asks from behind me, causing me to jump.
Lost inside my head again, I didn’t hear her sneak up on me. If the look on her face is any indication, she’s been there for a few minutes.
“Yeah. He’s coming up this weekend, tomorrow actually.”
“And he plans on staying where? Did you tell him about your crazy-ass roommate’s rules?” she asks, tilting her head at me in question. She’s not a fan of Audra, or rather, Audra’s rules. They get along for the most part. It was better before Keegan came into the picture, but most things were.
“No. Not yet. He said he would see if he could stay with Ryder.”
“Great. Party at his place this weekend, then.”
“I don’t know, Ally. I think maybe it’s a bad idea.”
Turning my chair so I’m fully facing her, Allison places her hands on my shoulders and looks me dead in the eye. Once she’s certain she has my full attention, she rips into me.
“For one day or one hundred, he’s a keeper, Justine. You’ll never know until you try. Don’t shut him out because you’re scared. I thought we covered this the other night, but apparently you weren’t listening. You’re in control. If you don’t like the direction it’s headed, you can end things. Take control of this, own it. Clear?”
Always so bossy. Pushy. The kind of person I need in my life so I don’t run from everything that scares me senseless.
“Clear?” she repeats.
“Yes. Clear. But about this weekend—”
“No. Let him come up here. Hang out with him. Get to know him better. Rip his clothes off or talk all night, I don’t care. But do not miss this opportunity. And then on Sunday, after he leaves, call me and give me all the details.”
“I was going to say that I think we should keep it low-key this weekend. No parties. No big get together. Just the two of us. Maybe invite Ryder along since he’s staying at his place.”
“And Emerson,” she replies, pushing away from me and crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m guessing she’s invited too.”
“I think they’re a package deal,” I reply, nodding toward Emerson’s empty desk. “When are you guys switching places?”
My attempt to change the subject is met with a nasty glare. “We’re starting the transition tomorrow. It’ll be official Monday.”
“If you’re not okay with this, say something. I’ve never known you to be this accepting.”
“I didn’t have a choice. The decision came from Mr. Dixon himself. He doesn’t want the two of them working together anymore for professional reasons. Plus, he gave me a raise for the inconvenience. Tomorrow she’s helping me get acclimated, and then Friday I’ll be doing the same for her.”
“It’ll be great, you know. Working for Ryder. Plus, that makes you more valuable to the company.”
“I guess,” she pouts, picking at her nails. “Want to go to the salon after work? We can get our nails done and maybe our hair colored something fun like pink or blue. I’m thinking I want teal streaks underneath. It’ll be eye catching.”
Allison plans our after-work activities while I text Devon to confirm plans for this weekend.
ME: Make sure you talk to Ryder about staying at his place and I’ll see you for breakfast Friday morning at seven. Sound good?
DEVON: That sounds great. See you then.
With only an hour left until I’m done for the day, I head into Tyler’s office to update him on his calendar for next week. Knocking lightly on the frame of the open door, he calls out for me to come in.
“What’s up?” he asks.
“Just a few changes for next week. I moved all your meetings to Monday and Tuesday of the following week. I’m still waiting to hear back from two clients to confirm the new dates but everyone else was flexible. As for your itinerary, I wasn’t able to get you on the same flight as Hunter. You leave an hour before him Monday morning but you’re on the same return flight.”
“That’s no big deal.”
“Good, because when it came to finding you a room at the conference center, the hotel was booked solid. I haven’t made a reservation yet. I wanted to know if you were going to try and stay with Hunter or if you wanted your own room.”
“And this is why I told my father I didn’t need to go. This trip has been planned for months. I knew this was going to be an issue. How far away is the closest hotel with availability?”
Cringing, I hand him the two hotels I pulled up. Neither is a great option. Either he can stay at a shitty hole in the wall that’s five miles away or he can stay at the airport hotel that’s ten miles away.
“Let me talk to Hunter,” he states, handing the papers back to me. “Anything else?”
Do I bring up personal stuff or wait until we’re outside the confines of the office? I’m not calling him at home to ask, so now is as good of a time as any.
“I know you’re leaving Monday, but I was wondering if I could take a half day on Friday.”
“As long as you can get everything done, that’s fine with me.” Pausing, his fingers poised on his keyboard, Tyler looks up at me. “Can I ask why? Not that it matters. You never take personal time.”
“Devon is coming up this weekend and I was hoping to spend some time with him.”
Relaxing back in his chair, Tyler runs his fingers through his long, jet-black tendrils before clasping his hands behind his head. All the Dixon men have the same color hair, almost the same eyes, and similar mannerisms. Ryder and Tyler could be twins if Tyler was a few inches taller and cut his hair.
“Can I say something as a friend and not your boss?” he finally asks.
“I suppose,” I venture, my words hesitant at best.
“I’ve known Devon a long time. He’s a great guy and will treat you well. My only concern is that he lives in Chicago. He loves it there. He’s said multiple times he’ll never leave. And as much as I want you to be happy, if things start to get serious between you two and you leave me, I’m going to be disappointed if you don’t give me a solid month’s notice. It’ll take that long to find someone who might be able to
fill your shoes.”
Smiling, I roll my eyes and promise not to leave him any time soon. “You know, Ryder said something similar. Can I ask what his attachment to Chicago is? Everyone seems to think he’ll never leave.”
“That’s a question for Devon. I’m sure he’ll tell you if you ask.”
Nodding, Tyler hands me a pile of mail to handle and sends me on my way. As I weigh and print shipping labels for the packages, my mind wanders to Devon. What could have a hold on him there? Is it the city? Family? Something bigger than all of that?
“Ready?” Allison asks as I pull my purse from the drawer of my desk.
“Yes. I think my hair needs a little purple lovin’, don’t you?” I quip, a little pep in my step.
Nothing is going to get me down right now. Not until there’s a good reason. Yes, I’m nervous about this weekend, but I’m sure once he gets here, my stomach will calm down and things will be fine. I’m in control, that’s what I need to remember. Nothing has to happen. No one needs to get hurt. This weekend will be a determining factor as to where we go from here.
Either we’re going to keep it casual and have fun. Or things will become a little more defined. As much as you can put a definition on a relationship that has more than two hundred miles between participants.
Manicure, pedicure, and fresh color in my hair makes me feel like a new woman. Until I get home. Audra is there, waiting to talk to me, and when she notices the subtle changes I’ve made, she starts asking questions.
“Who is he?” she inquires as I open the fridge to grab a Diet Coke. Before I can answer, she begins grilling me for information. Information that I’m not going to give her.
“What makes you think I’m seeing someone?” I ask, ignoring all her questions.
“Your nails are done. You haven’t even bothered to paint them at home since you broke up with—”
“Again, we don’t speak of him, Audra. I don’t know why you keep bringing him up.”
Rumors: Justine & Devon Page 3