“Allison, my odd-clothed girl. I promise you that everything I’ve done, I’ve done for you. I want to be with you, wherever you are, whenever you are. I want to be there for you, always. Please, please believe me. And if you can find it in your heart…forgive me.”
Chapter Forty-One
I look into Flyx’s eyes.
I believe him.
He didn’t betray me. I know he’d never betray me.
But that doesn’t change what I have to do.
“Allie?” he says, his voice choked with emotion. “Say something?”
I should go for the jugular, tell him I don’t forgive him, that I hate him and I never want to speak to him again.
I open my mouth, but I can’t bring myself to do it. Not like that. “I forgive you.”
He smiles as a tear spills over and runs down his tattoo. He extends his hand to me. “Consent?” he whispers.
I should say no. But I tell myself I can have one last kiss before I break his heart. And mine. This is goodbye. “I consent.”
He touches his nose to mine, tentative, gentle. I slide my arms around his neck and press my lips to his. He grips my waist, pulling me close, kissing me hard and fierce and urgent.
I don’t want to stop. But if I don’t stop now… I press my hands to his chest, making space between us. Space that I need, but don’t want.
“We can’t do this anymore,” I whisper.
“What do you mean?”
“This. Us. We can’t anymore. It’s over.”
“But you said you forgive me.”
“It’s not that.” I back away, out of his arms.
“You know how much I care about you, right? And you care about me. I know you do.”
“I mean it. We’re done.”
“But, but why?” He looks devastated, confused.
I harden my heart as best I can and proceed with my plan. “Don’t you feel like this isn’t right? Like this isn’t how things are supposed to be?”
“No, I don’t feel that way at all. We belong together.”
“You belong here. I don’t. It’s as simple as that.”
“I belong with you, wherever—whenever—you are.”
I shake my head, hating myself. “I should have told you this before…. When I go back to 2018, there’s someone…” I take a breath. “Someone I care about. His name is Jake.”
“Oh.” He recoils like he’s been punched. “I thought you felt samewise…”
“It’s complicated.”
“Not for me.”
“It is if you’re being honest.” I look into his eyes, making sure I have his attention. “You don’t know me. Not really. You were in a relationship with Sharrow.”
“But I don’t remember it!”
“Still, she cares about you. A lot. And if I weren’t here…”
“But you are!”
“I’m leaving.”
“And I’m going with you,” he insists.
“You shouldn’t be. After I fix things in 1906, I’m going back to my life, to my real time. To Jake.” It hurts, but I forge ahead. “You should stay here. With Sharrow. That’s how it’s supposed to be.”
“It wouldn’t change anything. I wouldn’t forget you. Or how I feel. How would that be fair to Sharrow when I want you? When I love you….”
My breath catches and I ache to tell him I love him, too. But sometimes you have to do what’s right, even if it hurts. And this is going to hurt.
“I don’t love you,” I say. “I don’t want you to come with me. I don’t want you at all.”
I search his face for the pain I know I’ve caused. But I don’t see pain. I see determination.
“You can’t stop me from coming with you,” he says, his voice low and confident. “Unless you’re willing to sabotage your own travel. So we’re both going or both staying. You choose.”
Is this what he thinks love is? Forcing me to be with him?
I can’t look at him.
I turn my back and walk away.
The fact that I thought I loved him makes it worse.
Climbing down the ladder, I know one thing: I’m not staying in this time. I’m going back to 1906 to save my family. So I guess that means he’s coming with me.
Or does it?
The inkling of an idea flashes through my mind. I grab it before it can slip away. I examine it, turning it around, viewing it from every angle.
I climb faster. I think this could work.
When I arrive at Dietrich’s chambers, I’m winded, but I have a plan.
I should knock—I’m not supposed to have a personal—but I’m not ready to wake Dietrich. So I bank my device, praying it works.
The door slides open. No alarms beep, no one calls out.
Silently, I creep forward to Bel’s room, slip inside, and close the door.
“Bel,” I whisper, crossing to her bed.
I turn on the flashlight and she bolts to a sitting position. “What?”
“Shhh. Don’t wake your mom,” I whisper.
“What are you doing here?” she says in that ungodly loud whisper of hers.
I sit on the edge of her bed and say in a low voice. “Flyx won’t budge. He said that either he comes with us or he blows it so we can’t go at all.”
“Rot,” she says. “All right, we’ll make another plan in the morning. Now go away.” She adjusts the wide headband holding back her mass of hair, then tucks herself under the covers.
“I have a plan,” I say. “And it can’t wait until morning. We need to travel now.”
She sits up and faces me. “Now? Like now?”
I nod. “Before he wakes up.”
“When he wakes up and we’re gone, he’ll tell my mom everything.”
“Maybe, but so what? She can’t stop us—we’ll already be gone.”
“Some people want to come back to this time.”
“No, not this time. Once we put things right, this timeline won’t exist. You’ll come back to your old mom, the way things used to be.”
“Before my life got vanked…”
“Exactly.”
Bel purses her lips, then nods. “Okay, I like this. But you’ve forgotten one thing—the wormhole machine.”
“Flyx already fixed it.”
“I know. That doesn’t mean we can access it. Not without Flyx.”
“What about that backdoor into the system? You can give yourself access.”
“No, I checked when we first got here. It wasn’t there.”
I’d anticipated this. “Then we need your mom.”
“That’s going to be easy, not.”
“I have an idea. It’s a little crazy, but I think it will work.” I dive in. “We tell her the truth about Maisie, the zoo, and the colonel. But we exaggerate a bit about the colonel being onto us. We tell her we just found out—somehow—that’s the colonel poses an immediate threat and we have to leave right away.”
Bel’s mouth forms an “O”.
“Can you think of a way to explain how we found out?” I ask, crossing all my fingers.
Her face draws into a smile. “What do you take me for? You’re not the only Jenny.”
“I was hoping you’d say that. Let’s go wake her.”
“Now? But our Victorian clothes aren’t ready yet.”
“We’ll get them on the way. I’ve got it all figured out. Come on.”
We cross the hall and open Dietrich’s door. Immediately, a light comes on and Dietrich sits up in bed. “What is it, girls?” she asks, like she’s perfectly awake.
“There’s a problem, Mom,” Bel says, crossing the room and climbing onto the foot of the bed. “It’s bad.”
I stand near Bel, but I keep my mouth shut. Bel’s got this part.
“What happened?” her mom asks.
“I have a spy embedded with the ASPs, and she sent word—”
“Why don’t I know about this?” Dietrich bolts upright.
“You do. You did. You helped s
et it up, but you forgot with the history change. Either you didn’t write it down, or you haven’t seen that report yet—it doesn’t matter. What matters is what she said.”
“Tell me.”’
“Colonel Marek is onto us.”
“The Resistance?” Dietrich asks.
“Worse. Time travel.”
Dietrich gasps, but regains her composure quickly. “How?”
I decide to slip in here and claim responsibility—it’ll make Bel’s solution look stronger. “It’s my fault. I didn’t know there weren’t zoos in this time, and when Maisie ran away—”
“The details don’t matter now,” Bel says. “What matters is they may be readying for a surprise visit.”
“May be?” Dietrich says.
“Isn’t that enough?” Bel says.
“Enough for what? Do you propose we evacuate the entire populace and scuttle everything in the Zone based on a maybe?”
“Of course not,” Bel says, indignant. “I can travel back to 1906 right now and fix everything.”
“We can,” I say. “By putting the timeline back the way it was, making it so I never come here, and thus never tip off the colonel.”
“Yes, but it’s bigger than that,” Bel says, her tone a bit more scolding than it needs to be. “I’ll bring back my dad. He knows how to make sure we never have to deal with the ASPs again.”
“But we have to leave now,” I stress. “Before the ability to time-travel is taken away forever.”
Dietrich’s brow furrows. Bel bites her lip. I hold my breath.
Finally, Dietrich nods. “Okay.”
There’s a loud click outside the room.
I gasp. “What was that?”
Dietrich looks at her personal. “It must be Sharrow leaving for early shift.”
I dash out, clicking on the hall light as I run to the living room. “Sharrow?”
There’s no answer. I check everywhere. She’s not here.
I return to Dietrich’s room, where she’s now dressed in a black suit.
“She was already gone,” I say. “I wanted to say goodbye.”
“Do you think she heard what we were saying?” Bel asks.
“She could have,” Dietrich says. “Is that a problem?”
Bel and I exchange a glance.
“That depends,” Bel says. “How cozy is she with Flyx these days? We don’t want him to find out we’re leaving.”
“But he’s going with you,” Dietrich says.
“Actually, we have concerns about that,” Bel says.
“I have concerns about you changing the plan—he’s supposed to go,” Dietrich says.
“He doesn’t have the skills, Mom. And he can’t acquire them in an hour, a day, or even a month. Allie and I can do this mission, but not if we have to worry about him vanking everything. We need to cut him loose. Now.”
Dietrich looks like she’s about to object again, so I jump in. “I know he was spying for you.”
“He what?” Bel says.
“But you don’t need him,” I continue. “Bel’s going with me. You trust her, right?”
Dietrich looks at Bel. “I do.”
“Then it’s settled,” Bel says.
Chapter Forty-Two
Flyx
In my dream, Allie whispers in my ear that she loves me. Then the words transform. “Wake up.” I feel breath on my ear, the voice no longer Allie’s.
“Flyx, wake up.”
I open my eyes to Sharrow leaning over my cot.
“What is it?” I ask. “What’s wrong?”
She smiles, her eyes sad. “I came to say goodbye, since we might not see each other again.”
I rub my eyes and sit up. “Wait, what?”
She sits, perching on the edge of my cot. “I understand. And I want you to know I don’t blame you.”
“Understand what? Blame me for what?”
“For whatever happens. Like, if I’m not here when you get back.”
“Oh!” I feel like an idiot. “You’re worried you might not remember me? Because if that happens, I’ll take you to our spot on the roof and I’ll tell you everything. I promise.”
“I appreciate that.” She nods, but I can tell I missed the mark.
“What is it you’re not saying? You can tell me, Sharrow. I’m your friend. I’ll always be your friend.”
She meets my gaze. “I know what this trip is really about. I know Bel and Allie are going to get their old lives back.”
“Yeah…”
“Bel and I were born the same month of the same year to the same mom. In different timelines. There’s this timeline, when I’m born. And the timeline Bel wants to get back…when I’m not.”
The bottom falls out of my stomach. “No…”
“So I’m saying goodbye.” She brushes my shoulder with her hand, ignoring proto.
To hell with proto. I pull her into a hug and hold her tight.
I backflash on the report I saw in the TIC—the timeline when Allie and Bel and the crew are born. There is no Sharrow. How did I not remember that?
She pulls back and wipes away tears. “Enough of this sappy stuff,” she says with a forced laugh. “You’d better hurry. You don’t want them to leave without you.”
“What do you mean?”
She frowns. “They’re getting ready to go now.”
“What?”
“I overheard them talking to my mom when I got up for shift. I don’t think they’re even going to say goodbye to me.”
They’re leaving now. Without me.
I throw back the coverlet and leap to my feet. “We have to stop them.”
I wake Daum, and the three of us double-time for Detention.
Chapter Forty-Three
It’s eerie as Bel, Dietrich, and I make the long trek from Dietrich’s chambers to Detention, our footsteps the only sound in the deserted wee hours of the morning.
Please work, please work, please work, I repeat like a prayer with each step.
We’re so close to making things right.
We pause at the top of the long staircase while Dietrich releases the door to Detention. Bel looks at me and nods. I try to smile.
Dietrich opens the door and strides into the room, every bit in command. Two guards scramble to get out of the easy chairs and come to attention. The holding cell is vacant.
“You’re dismissed,” Dietrich barks.
“Yes ma’am,” they both say, grabbing their packs and scurrying out without question.
Dietrich makes sure the outer door closes, then enters the wormhole room. Bel and I follow, my heart hammering in my ears.
Dietrich crosses to one of the blank cement walls and banks her personal to an invisible sensor. A control panel appears on the wall.
This is it. It’s really happening.
Dietrich turns to me. “Bel told me you’ll get period clothing en route?”
I nod.
“Give me your personal devices,” Dietrich says.
Bel hands hers over. I open my mouth to protest, but Dietrich cocks her head and extends her hand.
“You don’t think I know?” she says.
I hand mine over. I guess I wasn’t as sneaky as I thought I was. She probably knew the entire time and allowed it so I could communicate more easily with her spy. Which I did.
My cheeks heat. With anger at Flyx, but more at myself.
Dietrich turns to the panel and presses a sequence of buttons. “Take your positions.”
I follow Bel to the center of the room. Then suddenly she bolts over to Dietrich and hugs her. Without a word, she rejoins me and slips her hand into mine.
This is really happening. My chest tightens, my entire body wound tight.
“Good luck and gods speed,” Dietrich says. She flips open a cover on the panel revealing a lever. “Engaging now.”
“Stop!” Flyx shouts, running into the chamber with Daum and Sharrow on his heels.
Dietrich turns, her hand poised over on t
he lever. “Sharrow? What are you doing here?”
“Damnit,” Bel says as Sharrow rushes into Dietrich’s arms.
Flyx slides between Dietrich and the panel, and closes the cover over the lever, exhaling audibly.
Dietrich extracts herself from Sharrow’s grasp. “Someone tell me what’s going on.”
“You can’t let them go,” Flyx says.
“Stand down,” Dietrich tells him. “You’ve been removed from this mission.”
“We had a deal,” he says to her.
“She doesn’t need your services anymore,” Bel says.
“I told her everything,” I tell him. “It’s for the good of the mission.”
“They’re lying to you,” Flyx says to Dietrich. “They faked the report to get you to let them travel. The whole thing’s a scam.”
“What are you—”
“Don’t listen to him, Mom,” Bel says. “You know who you can trust.”
“You can’t trust her,” Flyx insists. “She lied about everything. There’s no operative in 1906 with information that will take down the ASPs. This is a personal mission for Bel and Allie to change history so they can get their old lives back.”
“Shut up, liar,” Bel says. “Mom, it’s not true.”
“It is true,” Sharrow says. “They’ve been planning this all along.”
“You can’t let them go through with it,” Flyx shouts. “Because if they get their old timeline back, this one is erased forever, and Sharrow along with it.”
I gasp. “Oh no. Sharrow. I didn’t—”
“Shut up!” Bel says.
“Bel, is this true?” Dietrich says.
“Mom, I—
“What about the ASPs being onto us?” Dietrich strides toward us. “There is no spy in the ASPs ranks, is there? You lied. About all of it.”
“Not all—” I cut off my excuse at a look from Dietrich.
“Do you know how close I was to pulling that lever?” Dietrich says in a low voice. “How close I came to losing Sharrow forever?”
“It’s not like you’d have remembered,” Bel says.
“You selfish bitch!” Flyx shouts, coming toward Bel.
“Flyx,” Dietrich says, stopping him in his tracks. “I’m in your debt. Now please leave, and take Daum with you. Say nothing of this to anyone.”
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