RockMySenses

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by Lisa Carlisle


  “Of course.”

  Lily gave Allana a sheepish grin to which Allana responded by widening her blue eyes. We watched Nico and Lily depart for the dance floor, awkwardness blooming between us.

  “I’m out of here,” John said. “Congrats, man.” John patted my shoulder and left.

  “Congrats about what?” Allana asked.

  “Our record company is going to send us on a West Coast tour.”

  Her face dropped, which stimulated hope that she might be disappointed to see me go. “That’s fantastic,” she said, covering it up with a bright smile. “For how long?”

  “A few weeks, I think, but I don’t have the details yet. Sometime this spring.” If we were going to talk, it would be easier to hear each other at the back of the club instead of shouting over the music. “Want to grab a table?”

  She nodded. I purchased a couple more drinks while she grabbed a table at the back of the club. The music still echoed back here, Clan of Xymox’s The Stranger, but at least we could have a conversation without yelling. Once we sat across from each other, she giggled and asked, “Do you think Nico and Lily concocted some lame-ass plan to get us together?”

  I chuckled in agreement. “Definitely. Nico got me and John down here to tell us about the tour, but he could have just as well done that at work, practice, or over the phone.”

  She peered at me from under her dark lashes. “Why do you think they want us to run into each other?”

  “To talk, I guess.” I shrugged. “You know how couples are. When they’re happy and in love, they want everyone to be in love. When they get married, they want all their friends to get married. When they’re having a baby—”

  “Ah, yes. I see.” Her scent washed over me with its hint of coconut. She smelled so good. She always smelled so tantalizing I wanted to bury myself in her hair, taste the sweat off her skin, lick her sweet juices… My cock stiffened and I forced myself to brush those thoughts aside. “How have you been?”

  “Great. Today was the official opening of the studio. Lily brought me here to celebrate.”

  “Congratulations.” I raised my glass.

  “Looks like we both have big changes coming up in our lives.”

  “Part of growing up, I guess.”

  Neither of us spoke for several moments. I took a sip of my drink to do something with my hands.

  Her bottom lip trembled. “I-I, uh, wanted to call you.”

  “You did? Why?” My expectations fluttered up to the rafters.

  “I wanted to invite you to the opening. You did so much to help me. It seemed only right to have you there.”

  My hopes crashed to the sticky, beer-covered floor. She only felt an obligation, nothing more. “You already thanked me.” I raised my chin. “We’re good.”

  Her eyes searched mine and I tried to read the message. They were filled with warmth and tenderness, maybe a little hunger and regret. Or I was reflecting my own emotions onto her. For several moments, the silence loomed heavier between us, palpable and simmering with sensual tension.

  “I’m sorry I ran out on you like that,” she said.

  “No, I freaked out on you. I would have run too. I’m the one who’s sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

  She paused. “You were right about me.”

  I weighed her statement, searching for the context and found nothing. “About what in particular?”

  “About everything,” she said. Glancing at me from the corner of her eye, she spoke is a small voice. “Maybe I did use you in a way.”

  I didn’t blink, waiting for her to continue.

  “I don’t tell many people this, but I was engaged a long time ago.”

  “Engaged?” My eyes widened. If she told me she was married, I’d slam my stupid head off the table.

  “Not anymore. He died.”

  “Holy shit, Allana. I’m so sorry. I pushed and pushed and—I had no idea.”

  “It’s complicated,” she said, leaning back in the chair. “I grew up in Portsmouth and we were high school sweethearts. He was in a garage band. We were eighteen and in love and we got engaged the summer after graduation.” She exhaled audibly. “Then one night, he was out drinking with his buddies and got into a car and ran off the road. He died. I was heartbroken. But what happened after hurt even worse. At his funeral, I discovered I wasn’t the only one who was heartbroken. He’d been cheating on me the whole time we were together. Not just one-night stands, but a couple of long-lasting relationships too.”

  “I don’t know what to say. You must have been devastated.”

  “On top of grief, I felt betrayed. And utterly stupid.” She fixed her eyes on her drink and the pain in her eyes showed me she was descending down a path of haunted memories. “There were signs all along. If I looked closer I would have seen it, but I brushed it away, blind in my happiness, even though I knew something wasn’t right with us.” She shuffled in her seat, glancing around the room, avoiding my eyes. “I can’t explain how conflicted I felt. I was a young, grieving almost-widow and I was crushed by his death. At the same time, if I had him back, I would have killed him for all the lies and betrayal.” She finally looked my way. “To say it made me wary of trusting a man again would be an understatement.”

  So much empathy surged in me in that moment, I just wanted to reach out and hold her. Not knowing how to act or how she’d react, I simply took her hand and squeezed it.

  Knowing I had a way of saying the worst things at the wrong moments, I rehearsed what to say before I said it aloud. “What you went through is too much for anyone, let alone someone so young.” She didn’t pull away so I figured I didn’t stick my foot in my mouth for once.

  “I moved here to start over,” Allana continued, staring off into the distance. “When I discovered yoga, it changed my life. It helped me learn how to mend. I began to feel like a person again rather than the basket case I’d become. Eventually I went to college.” She nodded my way. “Just a state school, nothing fancy like MIT. I started teaching classes at the gym. I swore off relationships. The way I saw it was the only thing I wanted from a guy was to scratch the occasional lusty itch. Why not use them for sex, that way nobody has false expectations and nobody gets hurt, right?”

  “I guess,” I replied.

  She paused and her eyes took on a hopeful glint. “Then I met you.” Her eyes searched mine. “What girl doesn’t want to have a fun night, no strings attached, with a hot rock star she’d had a crush on?”

  Based on all the women who didn’t pursue me until I played guitar for the Velvet Cocks, I was well aware of that concept but I kept my mouth shut so she’d continue.

  “Beyond the sex, the more time I spent with you, the more I wanted to know about you. And these feelings scared the shit out of me. Would I be stupid to repeat the same mistake twice?” She pulled her hand away and threw it up for emphasis. “I mean you’re a rock star who’s known for womanizing; you didn’t even remember my name. The signs were a huge, glaring warning.” Her voice rose a notch, then softened when she said, “But you were also so considerate. The contrast baffled me. My feelings confused me even more. I couldn’t control them and I couldn’t turn them off. When you suggested giving us a try, the fantasy became an actual possibility. Something I wanted, yet it terrified me. Even more than opening the studio.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “For everything that happened to you. For not understanding. For pushing you.” I fixed my gaze on her to emphasize my sincerity; they weren’t empty words.

  Something odd happened in the air between us. It shimmered with vibrancy that I wasn’t sure was real.

  “You didn’t know because I didn’t tell you,” she replied. “Of course you’d think I was just playing games.” She took my hand again.

  Beyond the shimmery aspect, a surge of energy passed between us. From our hands touching, from our eyes, from the space between us. A powerful connection, maybe magical. I wondered if she caught it too.

  Her ey
es widened with surprise. She stared at me, mouth half-open as if frozen. She had to feel it. The air between us was sizzling with electricity.

  She stared at her hand as if it were something foreign and then pulled it away. “I have to go.”

  She stood and I watched her walk away, my eyes roving over the lines and curves of her body.

  “Hey, Chee,” a woman with dark-red hair stood before me. “How have you been?”

  Distracted by Allana, it took me a moment to respond. She looked familiar but I couldn’t remember if we’d hooked up.

  “Not bad,” I replied. My interest in any woman besides Allana was zilch, but I couldn’t be a downright ass. “Yourself?”

  “Fine.” She pulled my arm. “Dance with me.”

  I glanced into the mass of people where Allana had disappeared and then I found her. Her eyes fixed on me, flashing both pain and fury. Right when this woman was pawing at me. Great.

  “Not right now.” I wrestled out of her grasp. “I need to talk to someone.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Allana

  Seconds after I walk away, a woman hung all over him and he didn’t mind one bit.

  I should have expected that.

  “Can I get a shot of whiskey” I asked the bartender.

  I downed it, letting the bite roll over my tongue and burn my throat.

  The night had taken a twisted turn. Running into Mike here was unexpected. Confiding in him about my past was a twist I hadn’t planned. Something strange had happened between us when I sat with him, a sensation unlike anything I’d ever experienced. The connection between us was so vibrant, almost alive. Combined with my big emotional revelation, it was all too much—I had to get away.

  And a different woman stepped into my place before I’d even left the club. Nice.

  “I’m glad to see you here tonight,” a low female voice from behind me said. “I’ve been looking forward to running into you again.”

  When I turned, I faced Nike, the woman whom I’d kissed backstage. A night that seemed so long ago. My instincts flared with wariness.

  Watch out for her. She bit you last time. Drew blood. She’s dangerous.

  But when I glanced into her turquoise eyes, a soporific effect took over. My defenses weakened and a calmness settled into me, not unlike what I had after meditation.

  She put her hand on my lower back and leaned in, whispering into my ear. “Let’s get out of here.”

  “Okay. Let me get my coat.”

  After I retrieved it, she led me by the hand to the back door. Although the cool night air bit at my exposed skin on the way here, it now felt balmy after dancing inside the warm club. We walked away from the warehouses, closed at this time of night, which cloaked the club in seclusion.

  “I’ve been looking for you,” she said in a singsong voice, holding my hand.

  “You have?” I asked. “Why?”

  She turned and pressed me against the brick wall of one of the buildings and engulfed me in a kiss. She tasted like red wine. Her hands ran down my sides and caressed my breasts. Within moments, need shot straight to my core.

  She jerked her head back. “Someone’s coming.”

  I strained but didn’t hear people. Just the sounds of traffic in the distance. “Where?”

  “Shh,” she said. “Let’s keep going.”

  A voice in the back of my head warned me to be careful as we walked away from the warehouses, but I couldn’t remember why. We passed an old graveyard. Mike’s face appeared in my mind and a pang of despair hit me. Why wasn’t I with him? Something just happened between us, but I couldn’t remember what. I searched my mind and recalled rushing from him earlier tonight, upset about something, and then seeing him with another woman.

  The memory brought on pain so I forced it away, focusing on the scenery around us. The sound of waves beating against the shore signaled we’d reached the beach. I heard their steady rhythm before I discerned the water ahead, highlighted only by reflection of the moon and stars. The furiousness in the way the waves crashed signaled the winds must be building, as if on the verge of a storm. It was odd that I didn’t feel the sting of the wind.

  “This is better,” she said, scanning the beach. “Nobody here to disturb us.” She flashed a grin and I glimpsed white points gleaming in the moonlight.

  She bit you. Remember?

  “What do you want?” I asked.

  She ran her fingers through my hair, pushing it from my face, and kissed me on the lips. “You.”

  She leaned back and stared unblinking into my eyes. The wariness left me. She kissed me again. We ended up lying on my winter coat on the sand. Her hands ran over my body, lighting a fiery path in their wake. She unbuttoned my blouse and freed my breasts from my bra. She teased my nipples, running them through her fingers so they hardened in the ocean breeze, and then warming them with her mouth.

  Her fingers coaxed their way under my blue-gray schoolgirl skirt and into my panties, touching me ever so gently. The sensations shot pleasurable vibrations through me, but through the fog I thought of Mike. How I wished it was his touch.

  Forget him. He’s with someone else.

  The more she worked me under a seductive haze, the blurrier the images became in my mind. But when sharp points pierced my neck, I knew exactly what had happened.

  “Mike!” I cried out.

  I struggled under her grasp, but she was far stronger than she appeared, pinning me down as her mouth fastened onto my neck. I thought of Mike, trying to reach him. As the blood ebbed away, such pleasurable sensations overcame me, I stopped resisting.

  Mike

  After I shuffled out of the woman’s advances, I joined Nico and Lily at the bar. “Where did Allana go?”

  “We haven’t seen her.” Lily said.

  I searched the club, looking for her. She was so tiny, she’d get swallowed up by the crowd. The only part of her that would stand out in all the black-clad dancers and white skin was her blonde hair. Glancing up at the gargoyle statues was in vain, but I silently asked Where is she?

  The only response was their usual stony silence. Some help they were.

  An image came to me of Allana reaching out to me. She was in pain. I ran to the exit.

  How I knew this, I had no idea, but I knew it to be true. I ran from the club, hoping for insight as to where to find her. I scanned the area outside. The only signs of life were the smokers huddling out front, clad in their tiny outfits.

  “Did you see a petite blonde come out?”

  “No, man. Not in the last few minutes.”

  What was wrong with me? Was I imagining things?

  “What the fuck’s wrong with you, man? You’re turning gray.”

  So I wasn’t imagining the sensation coming over me, that of my skin tightening. When I glanced at my hand, the skin had taken on a smoky hue.

  Struggling to remain calm, I replied. “Nothing, dude.” My voice was a higher pitch than usual. I glanced up at the moon. “You’re probably seeing a play of the moonlight and shadows.”

  I ran from them, searching the streets for her, not having a clue where to look. My chest tightened with a certainty she was in trouble. “Allana!” I shouted. “A-lla-naaaa!”

  Not a soul stirred in the empty streets between the warehouses so my shouts landed with an empty thud. No reply.

  My skin had returned to its normal tone and the tightness had disappeared, but a tingling still twinged beneath the surface.

  Behind me, swooping sounds followed by three thuds made me turn. Three gray gargoyles with enormous feathered wings made me shout, “Holy fuck!”

  The air shimmered as the creatures transformed into men, Danton in front. One had hair as long as Danton’s, but raven black. The other had black hair as well, just past his shoulders. All three were naked with black wings extending behind them.

  “How? What?”

  “These are my brothers.” He pointed to the one on his right. “Lucan.” And on his left. “Matti
as.” They both nodded in greeting.

  “How did you get them out of there unseen?”

  “Gargoyle magic. I cloaked them in shadows. Their shells remain in the club.”

  Shaking my head, I’d let that settle at another time. “She’s in trouble, Danton. I can feel it.”

  “I know. We felt your distress. Heard your call for help.”

  “But I don’t know where she is.” I spun around in vain. “How can I help her if I can’t find her?”

  “You need to let the panic go.” Danton stepped forward. “It’s clouding your thoughts. Let all the thoughts go from your mind and then reach out to her.”

  “I’ll try.”

  They transformed back into the monstrous shapes. “What are you doing?”

  “We’re heading to the skies to look for her. Clear your mind, Mike. We will try to communicate through our thoughts.”

  The gargoyles shot into the air above, disappearing under the blanket of night.

  Magic.

  I attempted to clear my mind, but racing thoughts of what could be happening to Allana ran through it. She could be raped. Tortured. Murdered. No, I couldn’t bear to think it.

  “Focus, damn it. Focus!”

  All the tenseness in my body left me stiff and unable to concentrate. I wanted so hard to be able to connect, but the urgency in the situation sapped my reserve. What could I do?

  Allana’s voice came back to me. Inhale through your nose, exhale from your mouth.

  In her yoga class, she had us focus on the breath. Breathe deep into your belly.

  I tried the slow rhythmic breathing, focusing on the breath.

  No, this is stupid. You’re wasting time.

  After I’d freaked out from witnessing Danton’s gargoyle form, she’d led me through deep breathing and it had helped so I forced myself to try it. The ritualistic breathing and her voice in my head soothed me, letting the panic dissipate. When my systems had slowed their pace, I closed my eyes, reaching out to her in my mind.

  The vision coming to me was filled with racing colors, as if speeding through a tunnel with lights trailing by. The movement slowed as an image came into view. She was lying on sand near the water. A beach. A woman lay on top of her, her face buried into Allana’s neck. While I saw this image from above, suddenly the image jolted and I now saw the scene from Allana’s point of view.

 

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